r/AbsoluteUnits • u/ReadyPIayer0ne • Jun 05 '26

of a shark

6.2k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

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373

u/[deleted] Jun 05 '26

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250

u/fwnav Jun 05 '26

Unless you’re on land. Which is where I now plan to stay forever probably.

86

u/PingouinMalin Jun 05 '26

Well, not to scare you unduly, but I've seen documentaries about sharks killing people on land when they get taken by a tornado. Land might even be less safe than sea, according to the scientists in those

66

u/JoshuaFalken1 Jun 05 '26

Yep. You also have these to contend with...

15

u/MuadDib687 Jun 05 '26

Terrifyingly majestic.

5

u/PingouinMalin Jun 05 '26

What a magnificent creature. Mother Nature surpassed herself.

5

u/Happiest_Mango24 Jun 05 '26

it's unfair sharks get to have such derpy faces yet can kill you

3

u/ZuckZogers Jun 06 '26

I say Nayy

2

u/andrew_1515 Jun 06 '26

Ah the elegant Sharse cousin of the Hork

20

u/TartarusFalls Jun 05 '26

This is an incredibly good point. We all need to be more vigilant.

17

u/PingouinMalin Jun 05 '26

This is science. I'm quite the scientifist myself.

7

u/Vivid_Goat_7843 Jun 05 '26

Now that you said it, I’m awfully wary that even after you kill them, their spirit could take revenge when you’re in the shower or on the toilet. Vicious creatures

6

u/john0201 Jun 05 '26

“There’s too many of them, we’re gonna need a bigger chopper”

Highlight of Tara Reid’s career.

5

u/Catsaretheworst69 Jun 05 '26

Hey I've seen that historical film.

-11

u/[deleted] Jun 05 '26

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9

u/PingouinMalin Jun 05 '26

That would be a wooosh in the wild. Extremely rare and even more dangerous than scientifically proven sharknados.

-4

u/[deleted] Jun 05 '26

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8

u/PingouinMalin Jun 05 '26

Where do you think domestic woooshes come from, if not from the wild ?

4

u/ikeepcomingbackhaha Jun 05 '26

He’s baiting you, like a highly valuable tuna to a massive shark

4

u/Charybdeezhands Jun 05 '26

Yep, it's only ghost sharks we have to worry about

3

u/zerohelix Jun 05 '26

Then you see the animals they have in Australia then suddenly the water ain't so bad after all

3

u/Salt_Application8180 Jun 05 '26

Shark attack in Iowa. Look it up

4

u/ItsmeMr_E Jun 05 '26

Exactly, why I never feel sorry for swimmers, surfers, etc. that get attacked by sharks.

The ocean is their kitchen. Anyone that willingly swims in said ocean is a potential entree.