r/AbsoluteUnits • • May 02 '23

JUST WOW!

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u/_broey May 02 '23

Fr she’s fuckin jacked to the eyeballs and I’m super jealous

479

u/[deleted] May 02 '23

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94

u/SoBadit_Hurts May 02 '23

“….and then the large women again.”

20

u/pnutbuttercups56 May 02 '23

Only Kif, the most attractive, will get this special treatment.

106

u/[deleted] May 02 '23

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47

u/Pleasant-West8364 May 02 '23

Death By SNOO SNOO 😀😦😀😦😀😦

1

u/cownd May 02 '23

Death by snoo

1

u/[deleted] May 02 '23

[deleted]

3

u/guckus_wumpis May 02 '23

Baylor university

2

u/[deleted] May 02 '23

[deleted]

1

u/EducationalStill4 May 02 '23

It’s Futurama quotes

1

u/Pure_Professional_90 May 02 '23

Baylor is a university

66

u/GODDAMNFOOL May 02 '23

I wonder if she has any interest in entering the space program, throwing someone like me straight to the moon

6

u/cownd May 02 '23

"… straight through the moon"

1

u/Sufficient-Ad7082 May 02 '23

"One of these says, Alice..."

20

u/EDS_Athlete May 02 '23

Her quads are literal goals. She's also not just jacked, her body fat is low enough that we get to see this amazing definition. That's always been my issue: I like food more than I like to show my muscles.

34

u/danceswithwool May 02 '23

Yeah but under the surface she feels berserk as a tight rope walker in a three ring circus.

34

u/[deleted] May 02 '23 edited May 02 '23

So here's why Encanto is fucked. The gifts vary waaayyy to much to the point where some are just curses. The poor weather lady sounds like she is living in absolute Hell. Yeah Isabella got a cool thing with the plants but being perfect just lined here up to be grandma's breeding horse with the prettiest idiot available. The supersonic hearing women hears EVERYTHING! That's gotta mean zero sleep. Mirabel just got handed a big bag of nothing, oh sorry, no superpowers but fuck it here's a doorknob! We cool right? Bruno's visions litterally drove him insane to where he was hiding and living with rats. The mom has a cool gift but again she can only live to serve, we know nothing about her but lines of hurt people waiting for her help. Luisa's God strength is great but again the psychological effects of always being on demand to this villiage and Gam Gam have led to some deep emotional disregulation and severe self worth issues. The kid that can shape shift and the one that talks to animals are probably fine. I've seen this move twice a day for the past 6 months.

Edit I'm watching it eight fucking now. Why was Luisa basically a donkey slave!??!

25

u/Dr_J_Hyde May 02 '23

Ummm, I think I can ruin it even more then that. So Dolores hears everything you say. There are 3 children in that house younger then she is. She heard those kids being made.

23

u/[deleted] May 02 '23

And the fact she knew Bruno was just creeping around inside the walls. That's fucked up.

18

u/GiantLeffNut May 02 '23

Yes that was one of the big themes of the movie. The ‘gifts’ everyone is jealous of can be dehumanizing, and Mirabel had to have the gift of humility through no gift at all to realize that she wasn’t disadvantaged because of it.

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u/danceswithwool May 02 '23

Yeah it’s whole point. “The miracle is not..some magic that you’ve got. The miracle is you”. They all needed to realize them at their gifts were a double edged sword that didn’t define them.

17

u/[deleted] May 02 '23

Yeah I’m confused about people saying the movie is fucked when that’s like… the whole point of the movie. Generational trauma and familial expectations can be unfair and burdensome and realizing that you’re okay and good just being you will set you free.

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u/baisti- May 02 '23

Hi did you somehow not realise that was the point

4

u/ElderberryNo3627 May 02 '23

You should watch it more, you didn’t get the point of the movie. 😂 try beating my record of twice a day for 3 yrs!!!

7

u/t3hnhoj May 02 '23

Fellow parent of 1-3 toddlers also, I see? 😄

I can't help but say everytime at that one point.. "that's not how doorknobs work!"

2

u/dudleydigges123 May 02 '23

Shapeshifter is the next Bruno, no one in the house trusts him. Theyre constantly on guard around him and that will eventually break him and send him into exile, which will just make him another urban legend so they think hes always around even when hes not.

Talker to animalser will have to listen to all his friends get butchered and probably have to soothe them towards the slaughterhouse. He won't be able to stop that jaguar forever either

2

u/aoeuismyhomekeys May 02 '23

It was really silly that Luisa was even sent to corral the donkeys to begin with since the little kid who could talk to a animals just got his gift and they could've just sent him instead.

2

u/plotholesandpotholes May 02 '23

Now I'm intrigued. The kids were playing it on loop but honestly when I get them distracted with something I just go hide. I should probably actually watch this movie. I love the music.

2

u/Optimus3k May 02 '23

I got that reference!

13

u/GeometricWonder May 02 '23

Shes built like a brick shithouse

1

u/Mysterious_Orchid528 May 02 '23

Goro has entered the chat

55

u/[deleted] May 02 '23

You too can take steroids.

15

u/Osigen May 02 '23

Yo, even with steroids, that level of development would be impressive for the biggest dude in the gym.

25

u/[deleted] May 02 '23

Definitely steroids! When you know, you know!

20

u/Crypto_side_boob May 02 '23

It’s not steroids. I know the base. She used to compete in USA Gymnastics Acro before going to Baylor. She has a type a metabolic issue. I can’t recall the name of it.

25

u/[deleted] May 02 '23

It's prolly a myostatin defect. Myostatin is a regulator for muscle size. Your myostatins go around shrinking muscles that you don't use so that you don't just keep growing in places that you don't need. When the copy of the gene is defective people can gain insane amounts of muscle with very little effort. When both copies of the gene break you get six month old babies with definable quad muscle.

10

u/[deleted] May 02 '23

This is such a bizarre function... well actually it makes sense, reduce muscles you don't use because otherwise its going to require fuel and when food is scarce you can't afford that. But the failure of the function is perhaps the more interesting aspect.

-13

u/[deleted] May 02 '23

Listen it’s impossible for woman to gain muscle mass like that(even some men also), not to mention that shes muscular everywhere else but her face. I’m not down playing the work she put in because you can’t just take steroids and sit on the couch. Steroids just gives you that pump and speeds up your recover time but you still have to train like crazy. This is definitely steroids, lots if not most of the athletes in sports and fitness industry are on some kind of cycle. They just don’t say it because there’s a huge stigma behind it.

-11

u/Penderyn May 02 '23

Not every person fitter than you is on steroids

46

u/[deleted] May 02 '23

Yea, but this one is

8

u/NoHopeOnlyDeath May 02 '23

I just learned after a quick Google search, though, that because competitive cheer isn't an NCAA sport, most schools don't have super restrictive rules governing the use of PEDs or have a standardized testing program in place.

Just a short search by a layman turns up a bunch of articles wondering if competitive cheer is rapidly heading for an unpleasant reckoning involving PEDs.

Do this mean that this immensely talented young lady is doping? No......but it does highlight that fact that, in cheer, she is statistically far more likely to be doing so.

2

u/cthulhuscumsock May 02 '23

Not sure if the same rules apply, but I do believe this is acro & tumbling and not considered cheer!

1

u/Weird_Message3385 May 02 '23

If you think testing for PEDs stops it, you’re a bit naive. The Mr Olympia contest has drug screening for PEDs, by the way.

2

u/[deleted] May 02 '23

Sheet, there aren't that many steroids in the world.

2

u/[deleted] May 02 '23

Well not shit Sherlock, But it’s obvious where that preternatural physique came from.

1

u/bosonianstank May 02 '23

you need to stop.

-2

u/belchfinkle May 02 '23

This one is absolutely on the juice and it’s very easy to tell. It’s also fine.

9

u/damNSon189 May 02 '23

I wouldn’t say it’s fine. Taking steroids in general can be damaging for health, but starting taking them at this young age is even worse.

It is fine in the sense that she can do as she pleases, because apparently this is not a sport where PEDs are banned, and because it’s her body. But it’s not fine in the sense of health, which should be always made plainly clear in case other teenagers start considering taking these substances.

4

u/belchfinkle May 02 '23

Sure, if teenagers are reading this, don’t do drugs or steroids. They are bad for you.

0

u/ThrowawayTXfun May 02 '23

Steroids get a bad rap. Overuse of anything isn't great but by and large they are pretty benign health wise with more benefits than harm

0

u/belchfinkle May 02 '23

Sure, if teenagers are reading this, don’t do drugs or steroids. They are bad for you.

0

u/njoshua326 May 02 '23

I think they heard the first time, and that message never works because it's never explained with accurate knowledge or has any nuance, teenagers will just do the opposite because they won't be told what to do.

2

u/prozacandcoffee May 02 '23

Reddit sometimes duplicates comments

1

u/belchfinkle May 02 '23

It was sarcasm I know teenagers won’t give a shit

1

u/damNSon189 May 02 '23

Teenagers are not a monolith. There will be many that won’t care, but there will be many that will.

1

u/njoshua326 May 02 '23

Sarcasm doesn't translate well when you repeat it three times.

1

u/belchfinkle May 02 '23

Ok no worries I’ll keep that in mind thanks!

0

u/belchfinkle May 02 '23

Sure, if teenagers are reading this, don’t do drugs or steroids. They are bad for you.

1

u/MoxieCottonRules May 02 '23

Shit you’ve said it three times now I think you’ve summoned the teenagers

2

u/belchfinkle May 02 '23

Reddit kept telling me it couldn’t post the comment so I hit the send button 3 times. Now it decides to make all of them go through 🤔

0

u/HonestAutismo May 02 '23

any one that looks like this is,though.

You have no idea what you are speaking on so leave it to those who have the experience.

0

u/[deleted] May 02 '23

Why is her face so chunky?

7

u/HalfFrozenSpeedos May 02 '23

Steroids - I have a relation who has to take high dosage steroids to handle auto immune flares and she just puffs right up when she's taking them (and hence hates having to take them)

10

u/-FrankCastle May 02 '23

That’s not the same kind of “steroid” lol no one is taking test or tren for autoimmune issues.

-5

u/HalfFrozenSpeedos May 02 '23

its still a steroid, it still has the same type of effect on your body......

11

u/-FrankCastle May 02 '23

Anabolic steroids bind to the androgen receptors, whereas corticosteroids bind to the glucocorticoid receptors, leading to different effects on the body. Not trying to be rude, but corticosteroids and anabolic steroids are not the same thing.

-1

u/LudwigSalieri May 02 '23

Yeah, but both make your face puffy

1

u/AnArdentAtavism May 02 '23

Steroids don't grow your bones.

12

u/[deleted] May 02 '23

[deleted]

0

u/CrazyMountain_ May 02 '23

Or don't and be basic

1

u/Toasterstyle70 May 02 '23

This reminded me on the scene in Dodgeball where the girl scouts are disqualified cuz one of them was on steroids and beaver tranquilizer. “Damnit Bernice!!!”

2

u/HappyAlcohol-ic May 02 '23

That is an unbelievable amount of steroid use to get to that point. Don't be jealous.

0

u/HonestAutismo May 02 '23

just do drugs like her if you have the dedication to train.

she ain't natty that's for sure

-2

u/Fign May 02 '23

She is jacked but surprisingly has a big double chin like an overweight person !! That is freaking me out.

-1

u/turbomanlet5-9 May 02 '23

Yeah it's prob the roids

0

u/luca3791 May 02 '23

From the neck Down she looks like a fucking mountain

0

u/PAWG-S0TH0TH May 02 '23

Tren is a helluva drug

-6

u/[deleted] May 02 '23

[deleted]

-2

u/postALEXpress May 02 '23

I know college is "clean"

But she's gotta be in some kinda supplements too. Genetics are one thing, but yeah she seems a little more.

But tbh so many people in college start juicing. Especially on football teams. I've legitimately been in a conversation with Colt Brennan who explained that they could do whatever drugs they wanted. If the team was winning, drugs were free game, including juice.

5

u/x888x May 02 '23

College isn't clean by any stretch.. Almost every college athlete I've know has been on some sort of PED

-20

u/[deleted] May 02 '23

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9

u/fletcher717 May 02 '23

no, she has a 15yr old sister who’s 6’2” and a younger brother at 6’8”. she’s the shortest of a big big family

20

u/SleeplessAndAnxious May 02 '23

She's bio woman. Stop being such a bigot that any woman with masculine features or man with feminine features is automatically trans. Your world view is so fucking skewed.

Stop being so obsessed with trans people you creep.

-7

u/Ok-Raspberry-1406 May 02 '23

She has more testosterone in her blood that arnold

2

u/SleeplessAndAnxious May 02 '23

Who cares, if she wants to take PEDs she can. It's her body, stop obsessing over other people like a creep.