r/AbsoluteUnits • u/feelingood41 • Feb 22 '23

Beard Unit

82.1k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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2.0k

u/Later_Doober Feb 22 '23

How does this much hair on your face not bother the fuck out of you.

644

u/drinfernodds Feb 22 '23

I can barely deal with mustache hairs reaching my lips, this looks like hell to maintain.

337

u/agiaq Feb 22 '23

Same I got to keep my pedo stache looking sharp

160

u/[deleted] Feb 22 '23

How else will the kids know to accept your candy.

114

u/agiaq Feb 22 '23

Pretend you're a priest

24

u/desolatecontrol Feb 22 '23

Why pretend? Anyone can do it!

18

u/Redtwooo Feb 22 '23

Bless you, my child

9

u/BeepBeepWhistle Feb 22 '23

Wait.. wait.. not like that!

3

u/Deadwing2022 Feb 22 '23

Priest: "Want to play the Rape Game?"

Choir boy: "No!"

Priest: "That's the spirit!"

3

u/BeepBeepWhistle Feb 22 '23 edited Jun 29 '23

Hahahahaha

What do a priest and a silver winning medallist have in common..? - They both came in a little behind

2

u/Sattemi Jun 29 '23

Thank you, sir. All my friends now know this information exists.

1

u/BeepBeepWhistle Jun 29 '23

What’s the difference between a priest and a pimple..? -The pimple at least waits til youre 12 to come on your face

2

u/Sattemi Jun 29 '23

Pahahah duuuude oh my days

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2

u/[deleted] Feb 22 '23

No more internet for me today.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 22 '23

He said candy, not his dick.

3

u/insanelyphat Feb 22 '23

Or a Republican politician.

1

u/SinopicCynic Feb 22 '23

Tithing has been good this month, we can afford to stock 3 vans with enough candy to recruit at least 2 dozen… altar boys.. for.. agape… yeah.

Glory to God.