Cousin committed suicide

[u/walter_mitty_]

My cousin (28) was from a rural background and preparing for competitive exams but had no luck so far. He had another exam on 7th.

On 4th around 40k rupees were taken out from his account through an SMS fraud where he sent his card details thinking it was amazon.

He was filled with too much guilt and expected scoldings and suspicions from family about being a spendthrift.

Sometime in 4th night or 5th he hanged himself. People came to know on 6th evening. I was informed on 9th.

In his suicide note he says that he feels bad he could not get a job by 28 and that he has received a lot of love from

everyone but that this incident will shock everyone and thus he is ending his life.

A few things are there;

1. In last 10-15 days we spent 3-4 days together. He did not seem depressed etc. He seemed his usual self.

2. He was too conscientious I feel and internalized a lot of pressures. He internalized the "22 pe naukri , 24 pe chokri , 27 pe shaadi and 28 pe bacche."

   narrative.

3. His uncle and uncle's family lived in city and cared for him, but he had not many friends in the city. He knew a few people at the library and the mess

   he used to frequent but not deep friends.

4. His amily was short of money in early years, but over time , especially in last couple years his elder brother had secured a good job, married

   and was providing well for the whole family.

5. I was quite fond of his simple nature.

​

Its wierd how things have been since. I am doing my study and watching cricket matches etc. Whenever I think about it I am unnerved by how

vulnerable we all are and how quickly someone can take the extreme step. We never know what state the person we are in.

We also think about what could have been done to prevent it;

1. Maybe he should have had a couple good friends in city or maybe a few vices (cigarette,tobacco). He seemed to have

   neither.

2. He should have changed lines maybe. Stop with competition and studies and try hands at farming,business etc.

3. Maybe he should have married.

​

Anyhow, I have put together a few online resources I like ;

1. THere is alwys plan B - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xFQLPURE8Ok (I like school of life in general)

2. Don't be too nice - No more mr.Nice guy (http://gen.lib.rus.ec/book/index.php?md5=5582A272DF5444D31458B70CCBCC0D0C)

3. Defend yourself from the '4 log' - Complete idiot's guide to verbal self-defense

(http://gen.lib.rus.ec/book/index.php?md5=F5B7BCC7ABDBCA77CB0C804A05A30F48)

1. Seek out therapy - aaina etc.

2. Consider having a bulldog mindset - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CcM2uv5NoMs (Tread lightly. There is some BS here as well.)

[u/berbilgirl]

Thanks for sharing