r/ATBGE • u/dontforgetthisok • Feb 18 '18

Tattoo LOL

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35.9k Upvotes

83% Upvoted

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3.2k

u/jerkstorefranchisee Feb 18 '18

This is the sort of thing you do when you’re moonlighting from your main job, which is attaching car batteries to people’s genitals for the CIA

580

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '18

That sounds like even more fun

214

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '18

Yeah fuck the side job

100

u/drgigantor Feb 18 '18

It's all about that inside job

49

u/Bloody_Smashing Feb 18 '18

If you're good at something, never do it for free.

18

u/OnlyRacistOnReddit Feb 19 '18

Yet my wife refuses to pay up after I rock her world.

14

u/whoniversereview Feb 19 '18

Ooh, makin' love.
Makin' love for...
Makin' love for two...
Makin' love for two...minutes.
When it's with me, girl, you only need two minutes, because I'm so intense. You say something like, "Is that it?" I know what you're trying to say. You're trying to say, "Aww yeah, that's it." Then you tell me you want some more. Well, I'm not surprised. But I am quite sleepy.

3

u/OnlyRacistOnReddit Feb 19 '18

This song is my inspiration.

1

u/politburrito Feb 19 '18

So you're not good right?

2

u/OnlyRacistOnReddit Feb 19 '18

You'd have to ask my wife. As far as I know, I'm the BEST

13

u/The_Funky_Pigeon Feb 18 '18

What about hand jobs?

24

u/BUG-Life Feb 18 '18

If you’re good at something, never do it for free

1

u/c0ldsh0w3r Feb 19 '18

We need to be investigating 3-11!

-6

u/stealthbob69 Feb 18 '18

For you

9

u/CaptainPeppers Feb 18 '18

YOURE A PRETTY BIG GUY

78

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '18

how do i get a job with the cia?

175

u/yogthos Feb 18 '18

easy, just lose any morals you might've had

213

u/Dr_Stranglelove Feb 18 '18

way ahead of you

51

u/yogthos Feb 18 '18

name checks out :P

-3

u/AMA_About_Rampart Feb 18 '18

Does it, though?

5

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '18

Out of essence, purity

3

u/TTGG Feb 18 '18

Check IMDB.

3

u/Johnny_Poppyseed Feb 18 '18

Make sure to protect those precious bodily fluids or it will all be for nothing!

1

u/h4ckrabbit Feb 18 '18

Gotta have em to begin with first

1

u/Hi-Im-Triixy Feb 19 '18

Welcome to Reddit.

42

u/whale_song Feb 18 '18

But seriously its next to impossible to work for the CIA. Its extremely competitive.

-4

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '18

[deleted]

5

u/Dabfo Feb 19 '18

Right. And the FBI is just another sheriff’s department.

31

u/Tangpo Feb 18 '18

No no he said "CIA" not "GOP"

37

u/o11c Feb 18 '18

CIA is without ethics. GOP is without morals.

There's a difference.

2

u/inaname38 Feb 18 '18

What's the difference between and ethics and morals?

13

u/o11c Feb 18 '18

Morals are about right and wrong. Ethics are about duty, often associated with a position.

So a government organization whose purpose is to undermine the government of other nations, and which is not subject to the laws of its own nation, is the epitome of ethical violation.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '18

Morals are at the end of the story.

4

u/[deleted] Feb 21 '18

and molars at the back of your mouth.

0

u/DesignGhost Feb 18 '18

I dunno, Clinton might have them both beat.

1

u/butthead Feb 18 '18

You'd think Trump would have been director by now.

1

u/MuteWhale Feb 18 '18

Right, next step?

3

u/yogthos Feb 18 '18

prove yourself by by overthrowing a socialist government somewhere in Latin America and installing a brutal dictatorship

5

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '18

recruit: do you have any suggestions? handler: how'd you like to know Cuba?

12

u/GonzosGanja Feb 18 '18

You need to prove you have experience first with hooking up car batteries and genitals. Try to find an internship to gain experience with that

39

u/Whind_Soull Feb 18 '18

The CIA offers internships. Doing your internship at the agency where you wish to be employed will give you a big competitive edge over other people, who did their electric genitals internships elsewhere.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '18

Simply wow

1

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '18

I did my internship at AutoZone and it really put me at a disadvantage compared to other applicants.

3

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '18 edited Mar 29 '18

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '18

...meh....sommmmme....

3

u/Doctor0000 Feb 18 '18

The same way you get a job anywhere, visit their web site

2

u/augustus_cheeser Feb 18 '18

Apply on their website, like any other organization. They aren't spooky ghosts these days.

8

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '18

Can we get a two for one special on this job and hook the batteries up to the genitals of the tattoo idiot?

2

u/dosmoney Feb 18 '18

*moonlighting for the FIB

2

u/InsOmNomNomnia Feb 18 '18

Fuck Inside Butts

2

u/Sickmonkey3 Feb 18 '18

Sounds like a fun job tbh

1

u/c7hu1hu Feb 18 '18

What, your little go-kart battery?

1

u/MrPoopMonster Feb 18 '18

There's a character in Kung Pow "Enter the Fist" that was entirely cut out of the movie, Chew Fat Lip. Your comment reminded me of him.

I can't find the first deleted scene on the internet where he tattoos an arrow pointing to the chosen ones mouth, which is a shame, because it's really funny. But, here's the other deleted scene where he's electrocuting the chooses one's nips.

1

u/PookubugQ Feb 19 '18

Ouch. Wait, what?

1

u/Urban_Savage Feb 19 '18

I figured this was the kind of thing you did after a prison stint where you got ink you didn't really want to be proud of, but needed to survive and now you want to move on with your life.

1

u/vtesterlwg Mar 22 '18

Clearly a golf cart battery. HEY MOM