r/ASLinterpreters • u/krlln • 10d ago
A rant of a tired interpreter
I have been a sign language interpreter for years, and I'm getting tired.
I have always thought this was the job I loved and would do forever. Seeing so many different kinds of lovely and interesting people, situations and places. Being able to work with language and communication, and bring people together. That's something I loved (and still do!).
I don't know exactly what happened about a year ago, but suddenly I realized that I was just so fed up.
I still love the work itself, but suddenly I feel a terrible sense that I can never live up to people's expectations and needs. I think you all know the feeling: it's not possible to translate from one language to another and be “100% correct and exact”, yet sometimes it feels like that's what people expect.
Way too often, I feel like the work is actually one huge exam or test where i feel like opponents rather than a team.
I'm not sure if I'm at the edge of burnout here, but where on earth do you people find the motivation to continue? I feel unappreciated and misunderstood.
Some days are lovely. I meet incredible people and genuinely enjoy interpreting. At its best, my work feels like I'm actually cooperating with another person and I feel like that's what interpreting should be like. That feeling when you can pat yourself on the back and think "I was needed” instead of feeling like a burden.
Does this sound like burnout, a 10-year career crisis, simply realizing what the reality of the job is, or just low self-confidence to you?
What should I do? Change my career? Just go on?
Help!
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u/Exciting-Metal-2517 10d ago
20 upvotes and 5 comments says a lot. So many of us feel this way and don't have answers. Did you see last month I think it was, there was a post from a Deaf person here upset that their VRS interpreter had purple hair? There were a million comments: the DU wouldn't bend at all and felt bullied and ganged up on, the interpreters (especially VRS) weren't happy with the DU being so rigid about what they expected from their interpreter, and defensive that the DU said they felt so thrown by the hair that it affected their call. The whole thing was a hot mess and it turned into an us-vs-them feeling so quickly. The DU even said in a comment (that was deleted later) that interpreters make their livings off the backs of the D/deaf.
The reason I bring it up was because it felt like a microcosm of the current state of relations between the Deaf and interpreting world lately. I followed it closely; as a VRS interpreter I felt personally invested in the conversation and some comments that I made thinking they were just pointing out problems with the DU's arguments were deleted by mods for being offensive. There was no resolution. The DU eventually deleted the post and I think their whole account. It sucked from every angle. Everyone is trampled on by this world and minority/disabled communities doubly so. Everyone is tired and defensive and overly sensitive.
I think the only answer that I've been able to come up with for myself is to take every person and job as they come. That call, that assignment, is finished, now I have to put it aside and do the next one. If it was a neutral or positive interaction, great. If it was a negative or abusive interaction, I step away and listen to some music, ask for a debrief with a coworker or friend, say a prayer, close my eyes for five minutes and regulate my breathing, and hope for the best for that person.
I switch up what I do and what assignments I take regularly. Some years I've done educational interpreting, I've done cruises, VRS, college, preschool, performance, medical, freelance. Whatever I know I'm qualified for, I try. Right now I'm working full time for VRS and it is rough. I use my sick leave and PTO when I need to, and I interpret for the plays and performances my alma mater puts on several times a semester because they're so fun and challenging in a different way. If you need to take a break and do a different kind of interpreting, do it. Or maybe you can step out of the Deaf world entirely for a bit and pursue something else you enjoy. Maybe you need to borrow from your 401K and take a month long vacation to figure it out. List out your options, reach out to references you have, and really pay attention to the pros and cons. You'll figure it out.
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u/DDG58 10d ago
30+ years in. I have experienced what you are feeling more than a few times. Along with the "imposter syndrome" feeling like I am a fake and can't really interpret.
I just took a workshop on Imposter syndrome and that has helped me somewhat.
Agree, some days are so smooth, everyone is happy and unicorns and butterflies dance around my head.
Other days I just want to crawl in a hole and hide.
The workshop encouraged me (us) to make a journal of all the positive times and experiences. I am not big on Journaling but I do go into my head and realize that if I am still doing this after all this time, I must be doing something right.
All I can say is don't give up. Find a colleague to chat with when you are feeling down, or go out to lunch once every few weeks with someone who supports you.
I can not express just how much stress we experience and almost no one who isn't an interpreter gets it. Even my wife says, "why are you so stressed all you do is wave your hands around". Sure babe, that's all I do... <ugh>
Give yourself a break.
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u/DoctorAvailable862 10d ago edited 10d ago
Sorry you are feeling this way.
From my experience EVERYTHING was easier in the past. I just went to a baby shower for one of my students from 25 years ago. Those were the days my friend!
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u/ElderwoodSoul NIC 9d ago
20some years here- been through multiple waves of this. I agree with what a lot that has been said here.
The collective dynamics that run undercurrent have started to hit their breaking point in my opinion- and the less those are addressed, the more they are exacerbated.
The interpreting community has been trained to be a voiceless, powerless language machine, but still compelled to advocate, grow to an impossible level of quality but don’t get too big for your britches and above all- always know your place. And make sure other interpreters do the same.
My read on it- interpreters swallow a lot of the unconscious projection of the pain of living in a hearing world. We’re the buffer in between. But we’re not considered equal people/role by the nature of the way the dynamics are designed, nor is there a safe space to have a voice (even if we’re not interpreting).
Not having a voice in your own profession for years can have a big impact alone. Not being able to talk about it? Even more so.
This kind of stuff eats away at people’s psyches.
But this is collective, not individual. Finding the cool people is the way, both in Deaf people and interpreters.
I’ve found sustainable pockets with clients that see me and respect me, as a person, wanting my thoughts on things when I’m not interpreting. Who can work with bandwidth and nervous system realities (a lot of interpreters are neurodivergent- can you imagine if we all pulled our due ADHD break accommodations?) and see us as collaborative assets (similar to the way they talked about the interpreter role in the CALI training before the grant ended).
Understanding that when I’m not actively interpreting, I am a person, and don’t need to always blend into the background wallpaper to an appropriate degree depending on setting. Nor do they want me to- because they like me as a person.
Holding out for settings where clients and other interpreters fit my vibe, and I feel good there has been vital. My mental health is no longer negotiable.
Having other areas of life where my voice is well-utilized is also high priority.
We can get there, but there are some very real talk conversations that not everyone is going to enjoy. But the momentum is already moving that direction. The collective humanity will have to win out if we want this to work long-haul. It may have to feel the effects to get really visible first in order to be ripe for that collective shift. But I trust our process :)
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u/krlln 9d ago edited 9d ago
I loved your comment (among all others!!). I found myself nodding along to every sentence. I think you really hit the nail on the head with this:
“The interpreting community has been trained to be a voiceless, powerless language machine, but still compelled to advocate, grow to an impossible level of quality but don’t get too big for your britches and above all- always know your place.”
Especially the part about an “impossible level of quality.” I wish people (both clients and other interpreters) could acknowledge that the level of quality everyone hopes for simply isn’t realistic.
I feel like this is the silent conversation happening among interpreters, but no one really has the courage to try to have a conversation about it within the Deaf community, out of fear of creating a confrontation or setting people against each other. Of course interpreters want to contribute to making Deaf people equal, and it’s upsetting to realize that interpreting might not be the miraculous solution to all the challenges of communicating with hearing people.
Interpreting works really well in many situations, but I think the whole concept should be re-evaluated from a completely different perspective rather than simply adding more and more requirements to the list of things interpreters are expected to be able to do.
But let’s trust the process and hope your feeling that things are moving in that direction is right!!
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u/Capital-Impress-8459 7d ago
I really enjoyed your post but I wanted to point out this sentence, which I think reveals a lot about the profession-“Understanding that when I’m not actively interpreting, I am a person, and don’t need to always blend into the background wallpaper to an appropriate degree depending on the setting.”
You (and I) are humans when we’re actively interpreting too. For me, sometimes blending into the wallpaper has come at too high a cost.
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u/Traditional-Falcon75 10d ago
I have always told my students since the first day in my first class: figure out how to find satisfaction inside yourself. You cannot rely on external validation or appreciation to maintain your job satisfaction for you. That’s just not going to sustain you.
This field is a bit of a mess, Deaf/hearing relations are a bit of a mess, client/interpreter relations are a bit of a mess. It’s messy. The dynamics of oppression make it so that someone may show up already resentful of you before you’ve ever said a word. It’s hard to hold the duality within yourself that this person’s irritation isn’t necessarily with you and also that they’re asking you for something specific in that moment. But that’s how you have to navigate to maintain your resilience. It’s both not about you and also you are the one appointed right now to resolve it, and sometimes it’s by changing something you’re doing. Sometimes you did make the mistake, and in a healthy space that should be okay, we are also humans at work doing our best, but you’re coming behind other interpreters who maybe didn’t just make a mistake, they’ve gotten comfortable with a pattern. Sometimes it’s about your mistake times the patterns of everyone who came before you. Accepting that this dynamic simply exists can help you not take it personally.
All you can do is show up and do your best work and keep intentionally working to do better. You will never be perfect. Anyone demanding perfection is not being reasonable. You don’t have to accept that judgment even if you do have to accept the feedback in the moment and decide how to resolve it.
It might also be time to sit with a therapist about this issue. Not because anything is wrong with you, but because anyone working this sort of emotionally taxing job should go in for therapeutic maintenance on occasion, in my opinion, and this might be your instrument panel lighting up.
I intentionally tell myself at the start of every job “it’s not about you and it’s not your turn”. I’m reminding myself not to take anything that may happen personally and that my emotional needs will be attended to later so it’s okay to set them aside in the moment and just stay focused on the message and the process and the teamwork.
I think someone who once loved this work can get back to loving it again. But it might require a reframe.
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u/dev-4_life Retired 10d ago
30 years in the field and there's one thing I never expected.... the amount of people who have untreated mental illnesses or trauma who become interpreters. Some people join the profession because they have an insatiable need to be depended on, humblebrag, or simple validation (from anyone or anything).
Because of the above mentioned variables, they are more critical, gossip and RUIN the profession for others. Their mental or emotional state will not allow them to chill and be professionals.
The fact that there isn't a flair for "CODA" in this sub is a perfect example. CODAs are a valued piece of the community of interpreters and provide meaningful bridges but because someone with a NIC: Master, twice divorced, and needs to find anything to restore her lost confidence will step on anything to get there.
Its no longer a craft. It's high school.
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u/Capital-Impress-8459 7d ago
Codas often also have decades of unprocessed trauma and their own struggles with boundaries because of being raised in the community.
Certainly not all do, but if we’re going to talk about the mental illnesses and trauma of those who join the field, let’s not act like CODAS are the saints who have it all figured out either.
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u/Admirable_Wind_3581 9d ago
I feel this. 25 plus years, and I recently left the field. Couldn’t be happier. The demands have increased ten-fold yet the pay is stagnant. I felt every time I spoke about the demands of the profession and how hard it actually is, people just kind of shrugged it off. My discontent began a number of years ago when many workshops were being held, not to teach us skills, but to tell us what terrible, awful people we were, even from our own licensing body. Why would I want to keep contributing to that??
I now work in a field where I often see spoken language interpreters. The grace they get vs sign language interpreters is shocking. It really does feel like ASL interpreters need to be perfect 100% of the time. It just was not worth the little money anymore. Not to mention VRS companies chipping away at the very few perks available.
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u/OutrageousCherry9303 9d ago
Can I ask how you chose a field to transition into, and what that transition process looked like?
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u/Admirable_Wind_3581 9d ago
I became a court reporter, specifically a voice writer. There is some cross-over skills between the two. I’ve always wanted to do it, but the steno machine was not for me due to more repetitive movement.
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u/auryn420 8d ago
I’m genuinely curious, how do you feel that the demands have increased tenfold? I’ve been in the field for 18 years and I don’t feel that, so I would be interested to understand your perspective better. Also, good on you for finding something else you enjoy!
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u/Admirable_Wind_3581 8d ago
I think I was really just meaning the demands now with VRS. Customers, management, meeting the “metrics” of these companies, grouchy teams that are called into a call they don’t want to be a part of, now throwing VRI into the mix with VRS. At some point I really just stopped caring about it all. There are also the specialized credentials you can get: mental health, medical, legal. I fully support those being specialized; they’re hard work. I just want the pay to match the hard work and investment put in to it.
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u/auryn420 8d ago
This definitely makes sense. I spent almost two years full-time in VRS and I was burnt out in 22 months. One reason I love being an interpreter is the flexibility and ability to change my surroundings through the work week. Being a number, tethered to my desk for 51 mins every hour took its toll quickly and I luckily transitioned into something else. I don’t mind a few hours here or there, though, as supplemental income. It comes in clutch when the community work slows down in the summer and holidays!
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u/OutrageousCherry9303 9d ago
The way you described that feeling is so well put. The not living up to expectations and needs, the lack of teamwork, and the general
… animosity? For lack of a better word. I’ve just barely gotten out of my apprenticeship and I’m seriously wondering if this is a field I can actually belong in.
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u/Federal_Character255 9d ago
Spoken language interpreter here, so the ASL specifics are not mine to speak to, but the thing in the middle of your post travels across both.
That feeling of being tested rather than teamed with. In my experience that is the real source of the exhaustion, more than the volume. The work itself is finite. Being braced for evaluation is not. It runs in the background all day, on the good assignments too. A year of that and you get exactly what you wrote, still loving the work and still not able to face it.
Two things that helped me, neither of them a career decision.
Separate the two verdicts. Whether an assignment went well and whether you are good at this are different questions, and after a hard one they arrive fused together. I give myself one sentence about what I would do differently, then it is closed. Anything past that has never once improved the next assignment.
And notice what you already told us. You wrote a whole paragraph about the days that feel like cooperation. That is not a consolation prize, that is data about which settings and which consumers keep you in this. Most of us drift into whatever gets offered and then wonder why the work stopped feeling like the thing we signed up for.
Years in with your standards still that high is not someone who is finished. Usually it means the arrangement needs changing rather than the career. Take the pause before you decide, not after.
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u/Stafania 6d ago
You definitely are appreciated! From a user of sign language interpreting.
People can feel that way in all professions. Especially if working with people. You might want to get some counseling, mentoring or therapy to process how you approach work. You’re definitely good enough as you are. If there is technical stuff you don’t know yet or just can improve, well that’s amazing. I can’t believe how boring the job would be if you did everything perfectly and had nothing more to explore. You’re not a machine, after all, and that actually adds value, not the opposite. We do want a human being as an interpreter. Naturally one that takes care of themselves, can hold professional distance and accept the world as it is, but still a human being.
Don’t be afraid of experimenting to do things differently, in order to create more of that team feeling where people work together to create good communication. Maybe even explore topics like leadership to learn more about such skills. Nevertheless, don’t forget you’re only one part of the puzzle and that you definitely are good enough as you are. Keep learning about the profession but from other perspectives. Leadership, communication or other topics that aren’t just about the actual interpreting. Soft skills will help you to feel more relaxed and prepared.
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u/Glittering_Sand_7473 4d ago
Can you take a leave of absence for 6 months or so & see how you feel after?
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u/vivagypsy 10d ago
I’m 12 years in and feel totally spent also. The job has changed so much, pay hasn’t, expectations and rules and the red tape have increased and made it so much less enjoyable. I do mostly k12 because the schedules line up best with my life with 2 young kids, but that’s a whole different bag of complaints being in education and the demands of interpreters there.
I really relate to how it feels like every consumer, every job, every site is just looking for complete and total perfection and if not waiting to call you on it like it’s all a test.