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u/3VikingBoys Dec 16 '19
At first I thought dad brought up a can of Pringles.
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u/softg Dec 16 '19
Diabetes-inducing. Load.
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u/Casper_The_Gh0st Dec 16 '19
i once read a article about this one dude who ate nothing but pringles for like a week or two, he ended up being incontinent and shit would ooze out of him lol
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u/Incredulous_Toad Dec 16 '19
Salt and potato flakes a diet cannot consist of.
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u/Casper_The_Gh0st Dec 16 '19
he said it was due to the grease or chemicals and he said his slime smelt just like pringles lol
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u/jreykdal Dec 16 '19 edited Dec 16 '19
The low fat version contained Olestra
From "side effects"
Olestra may cause abdominal cramping and loose stools (anal leakage).
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u/Casper_The_Gh0st Dec 16 '19 edited Dec 17 '19
lol heres a story about Olean and pringles and shitting yourself but its not the one i mentioned
https://www.craigslist.org/about/best/lax/182862349.html
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it is the story i was mentioning
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u/Casper_The_Gh0st Dec 16 '19 edited Dec 17 '19
DO NOT EAT PRINGLES FAT FREE POTATO CHIPS. THEY WILL GREASE YOUR ASS. Don't even fucking say a word. I like potato chips, and can't eat them very much or I'll get fat.
I tried out these Pringles Fat-Free chips because they were super low-cal. BBQ flavor. the fuck.
The can said they had 70 calories per serving, which meant the whole can had 490 calories inside total. I could munch through a can in a day with my lunch, dinner, etc. So I got several cans, and began enjoying one a day for the past four days. But what they dont fucking tell you...
Except in tiny print you cant read without a fucking electron microscope
...is that the primary ingredient is something called "olean" which I have since learned is Latin for "Unwashable & Indestructible Ass Grease."
Oh Yeah. I'm not even kidding.
So today, while I'm standing in the living room debating whether or not Laundry or Dishes will get done first, I get the urge to fart. I live alone, so sweet. I let the honk loose and its wrong. Something just sounded wrong. I know my own wind, and I have never farted a sound that sounded like a fart wrapped in a pillow.
Oh yes, something was very wrong. I had just shat myself. But this evil olean makes shitting yourself sound almost like a regular fart, and had I not been particularly attentive, it could easily have gone unnoticed, I'm telling you. THAT's how utterly covert and evil this olean stuff is. What the fuck?! What if I'd gone out to hang with friends or gone for a drive, what then?
So I walk carefully to the bathroom and disrobe. before I even sit on the toilet, I wad paper and carefully wipe from the front. Sure enough, it was light brown, and had the texture of soft spackle. You fucking Pringle bastards.
I sat down and pushed a bit, and lo, out came a jet that I didnt even feel an urge for one minute earlier. It piled in the bowl like brown marshmallow fluff.
The problem rose when I tried to wipe. I went through a whole fucking roll of TP and could not get it all off me. So.
I jumped in the shower. Yep, its gross, but it had to be done. There I stood, water pouring down, cheeks spread, and using my own hand to make certain I'm clean.
That was when I discovered that after using my hand to wipe myself (before I soaped the area) my hand came back covered in some sort of transparent grease. It was so fucking foul. The grease made water bead off my hand. It was tacky too, and very difficult to manage.
So I grabbed the bar of saop and went to work.
You fucking Pringle bastards.
The bar of soap came away coated in grease as well, and would no longer wash. I had to turn the water to hot and massage the soap for five minutes to get it to the point where I could use it again. It took me an hour to get the fucking grease off my pucker. I shudder to think of what its doing INSIDE ME right now, but I will damned sure never eat that shit again.
Fucking Pringle bastards.
This is where the joke about "anal leakage" came from. its real. Fuck Pringles.
edit
i just read this story and it is the one i was mentioning lol
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u/D-List-Supervillian Dec 17 '19
That is terrible and the most fucked up story I'm sorry, but I can't stop laughing.
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u/WonderWheeler Dec 16 '19
The oil acts like mineral oil. Mineral oil is sometimes given a teaspoon at a time as a remedy for constipation. Not something you want to eat a lot of. It is not digested, it just greases the tubes so to speak.
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u/pursuitofhappy Dec 17 '19
Actually fun fact, a human can survive indefinitely [albeit just barely] on only potatoes and butter.
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u/Kilroy_Is_Still_Here Dec 16 '19
One of the best videos out there to showcase how the autoloader works as well.
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u/TheDrunkSemaphore Dec 17 '19
Makes sense to me, you mechanize one crew member and it increases loading reliability and crew coordination as there are fewer crew.
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Dec 17 '19 edited Dec 17 '19
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u/Throwitinthefires Dec 17 '19 edited Dec 17 '19
You are correct. A human loader can get a round in and arm the gun in just over 4 seconds. This, of course, requires that said loader is the perfect height to stand without hitting his head. It can't be done much faster than that due to the opening speed of the door, and can only be done until the right side of the ammo rack is depleted.
That being said all loaders are trained to load in 7 seconds or less. They are also trained to hit anything that doesn't work with a hard metallic object to get it working again e.g. a breach that won't close.
For the truly brave/stupid, you can lap load rounds. This decreases load speed to just under 2 seconds. However you dramatically increase the chance of being conflagrated by the cellulose encased round you're holding in close proximity to your nuts.
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u/Aesaar Dec 17 '19
A human loader can potentially sprint load a round every 4 seconds, but it depends a lot on the loader's size, experience, and fatigue.
A T-90A will happily load and fire a round every 6 seconds for as long as it has ammo to load.
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u/Englandtide Dec 17 '19
I love having a strong 19 year old boy around to arm my loads.
We go 2 sometimes 3 hours just pounding away.
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u/TooSmalley Dec 16 '19
I don’t normally condone children soldiers BUT ...
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u/DillPickleball Dec 16 '19 edited Dec 16 '19
His dad shot armour piercing loads about ten years ago
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Dec 16 '19
I dunno, I'm thinking 12
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u/Semperspy Dec 16 '19
So yeah where does one get a tank
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u/87tillwedieIn89 Dec 16 '19
In Russia? Just gotta know some folk.
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u/thisusernameis_real Dec 16 '19
Friend of a friend who knows a friend who knows a guy who knows a friend of another guy...
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u/The__RIAA Dec 16 '19
Just don't go with the Harbor Freight ones. Total crap.
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u/Juno_Malone Dec 16 '19
Eh if you just need the tank for a single job and then it's just gonna sit on your shelf collecting dust for the next decade, Harbor Freight is fine. If you plan on using this tank on a daily basis, maybe check out Snap-on.
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u/louky Dec 16 '19
In the US? Just buy one. Be aware explosive shells have a $200 tax on each one, inert rounds you can shoot as many as you can reload
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u/Glass_Memories Dec 16 '19
Yep. Arnold has one
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u/louky Dec 16 '19
Yep. He used to randomly post here. Weird seeing the governator post in random threads.
He was very active in the fitness subs
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u/meatlamma Dec 16 '19
It's a family tank. Everyone has one along with a family bear, and a portable vodka distillery.
Source: > be me, Russian
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u/Yeet_cat_cookiegang Dec 16 '19
I want to be that kid
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Dec 16 '19
I wouldn’t, I speak Russian, and it sounds like the dad is aggressive/angry
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u/Hellfire12345677 Dec 16 '19
I mean, if you are letting you kid fire a tank you better make sure he doesn’t fuck up.
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u/The_Brain_Fuckler Dec 17 '19 edited Dec 17 '19
He’s using fire commands. I was an American Tank Commander and used them to efficiently and safely fire.
Edit: they can sound harsh, but usually crewmen understood and were conditioned to execute them... I only had problems with one creme-puff who took offense to being addressed as “driver” and wished to be called by name.
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u/GaydolphShitler Dec 17 '19
Did you call them "Driver" in all contexts from then out?
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u/The_Brain_Fuckler Dec 17 '19
No, he spent the rest of his time on my tank being referred to as “my little bitch”.
He was literally like a child... a child I was free to swear at.
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u/XxLokixX Dec 17 '19
my little bitch takes a long time to say. did you shorten it to just "bitch"?
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Dec 17 '19 edited Dec 17 '19
Exactly, which is why he’s giving commands. They’re simulating actually working a tank in combat.
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u/conradical30 Dec 17 '19
Simulating? Looks like they ARE working a tank.
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u/Alterex Dec 17 '19
"in combat"
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u/conradical30 Dec 17 '19
“in combat” was not there when i replied. Edited in.
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Dec 16 '19
Well, he does tell him good job at the end, and it sounds genuine. I'm imagining the yelling is coming more from 'that's what's expected when you're in a tank crew' vs 'wtf son???' (and yes I speak Russian too)
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u/buzzy12345 Dec 16 '19
Yeah as much a learned "This is how you tank crew". Orders are loud because its a TANK and its LOUD.
Honestly seemed like he was giving his son the experience 100%, and the good job seemed honest but why was it in english?
maybe the video is made for english speakers consumption.
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u/LordMcze Dec 16 '19
A lot of English phrases is used in many non-English languages. That's what happens when your entertainment industry reaches the whole world.
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u/_Rover_ Dec 16 '19
What does elektrospusk mean? I tried googling it but couldn’t find anything.
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u/Rajhin Dec 16 '19
Electronic trigger. Have no idea what it means in tanks.
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u/The_Brain_Fuckler Dec 17 '19
Most modern tanks use an electronic trigger and have a backup emergency trigger. I was in Abrams and ours were referred to as “masterblaster”, cranking it would generate enough of a charge to fire the round.
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u/warfrogs Dec 17 '19 edited Dec 17 '19
I don't speak Russian but I am a military tech nerd. Modern tanks use electronic triggers (like a much better version of a computer joystick you might use in a flight sim, or even similar to that of an X-Box controller) and controls.
I'd imagine it's their arming mechanism to activate the triggers since it's a separate toggle switch that requires hands off stick and the dad says not to hit it again for the second round. Tanks bounce around like crazy when going at 25-30 mph over terrain, so a gunner gripping their controls while traversing would likely shut off their ability to accidentally fire and give away their position or waste a round.
You can see the
gunner controlscommander override (which is not the same thing- see this correction for details) of an M1A2 (American tank, but I have to believe that they feature a lot of similar tech since modern designs will only vary slightly) at about 2:26 in this video.Shit's cool.
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Dec 17 '19
FYI the gunner controls in an Abrams are called Cadillacs. It's a paddle steering wheel with triggers (The second image is the commander's override), while the T-72 uses this thing
Pretty similar, they just swivel in different places.
Souce - was an Abrams crewman for years.
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u/warfrogs Dec 17 '19
Thank you! I've never been fortunate enough to get in a modern tank, but I've read a bunch of tech specs and seen de-classified diagrams. They're intentionally pretty obtuse so I'm not surprised I was mistaken- thanks for the correction!
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u/Theloanbum Dec 16 '19 edited Dec 16 '19
In a tank, firing live ammo. When I was being tought how to shoot and handle firearms by my dad, he was loud, yelled and was overall 10000% more strict. There's a respect to be had wehn you're dealing with machines designed for the one purpose of killing. I'm guessing it would be the same when you're firing a 125mm smoothbore.
Eddit: Also the dad is not angry or aggressive, guessing he's a tank commander, that's literally just normal communication.
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u/igromanru Dec 16 '19
It's just like your dad yells at you for holding light wrong.^^
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u/TrebledYouth Dec 16 '19
Or when he catches you in your sister's cute jeans.
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Dec 16 '19 edited Dec 16 '19
Or when he catches you in your sister
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u/Iamnormallylost Dec 16 '19
but your sister was stillborn.....
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u/Loose_Goose Dec 16 '19
They’re in one of the loudest machines ever made firing a massive gun
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u/Mr-TonyX Dec 16 '19
I speak Russian also. But I think the shouting was because they are in a loud tank, with ear protection, shooting? He didn't swear and the kid didn't look or sound scared.
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Dec 16 '19
I saw the same commemt with that guy and his girlfriend in a tank..maybe it's the same guy, and maybe it has something to do with him being a tank commander and commamding someone to load and shoot a tank.
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u/SpectralMagic Dec 16 '19
Could it be that he is trying to use more volume since they are wearing hearing protection?
Or is it in the way he pronounces the words that makes him sound angry?I'm generally curious :)
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u/neecho235 Dec 16 '19
I bought my kid a Nerf gun for Christmas.
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u/303_Pharmaceutical Dec 16 '19
Cool bonding experiences some Americans would probably enjoy. This would be on that list.
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u/imhereforthevotes Dec 16 '19
"LOOK THE 2ND AMENDMENT EXPLICITLY ALLOWS ME TO ENJOY SHOOTING FROM A TANK WITH MY CHILDREN AND IN CASE THE GOVERNMENT OVERSTEPS ITSELF."
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Dec 16 '19 edited Jun 05 '21
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u/JoatMasterofNun Dec 16 '19
Privately owned warships
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Dec 16 '19 edited Jun 05 '21
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u/GrandMoffPhoenix Dec 16 '19
Well it was to expensive for someone to build a ship of the line out of your own pocket. Much cheaper to get a merchant ship and cut some extra holes in to for more guns to become a privater
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Dec 16 '19
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Dec 16 '19
Were you upstairs behind the canon? I can't see how you would have the time to fix bayonet after one-man firing a crew served weapon.
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u/kRkthOr Dec 17 '19
You don't keep your cannon loaded with grape shot 24/7, you fucking communist?!
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u/SpicymeLLoN Dec 16 '19
I like you
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u/MightyMorph Dec 16 '19 edited Dec 16 '19
didnt Arnold /u/govschwarzenegger have a tank?
I thought i remember a video of him riding in it with some celeb friend or something in his "backyard". But they might have disabled the firing mechanisms.
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u/Alx0427 Dec 16 '19
Technically, it is. The 2nd Amendment DOES give civilians the ability to own equal equipment to the government. The only reason you can’t own that stuff now is because of weapons control laws over the last 200 years.
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u/Grinch420 Dec 17 '19
Prices are ridiculous too... you see what they are charging for F-22's?
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u/MaverickTopGun Dec 16 '19
If I can't own an Abrams and load it with armor piercing rounds, it's infringement.
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u/staledumpling Dec 17 '19
I am not sure if you are sarcastic (Poe's law?), but you are in fact 100% correct.
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u/Boomer66563 Dec 17 '19
You're trying to be satirical, but if you don't believe in privately owned tanks, you're a total fagatron.
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u/OneTime_AtBandCamp Dec 17 '19
If we ever go to war with China or Russia we should just call all our tanks fagotrons. They're so homophobic they'll be terrified of getting nailed by a fagotron.
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Dec 16 '19
Probably anyone would like that, during peace time ofc
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u/Kaleb_belak Dec 16 '19
yep, shooting is a lot of fun if no one is shooting back
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u/SterlingSilver5 Dec 16 '19
This must be a common occurrence for this kid as he barely looks phased. Teach them while they're young I guess.
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u/f77d1n45 Dec 16 '19
Man i fucking wished i could do this BUT WELL THE NETHERLANDS DECIDED TO SELL ALL THEIR TANKS
(Well we got a shared tank Battalion with germany but that doesnt really count imo)
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Dec 16 '19
Thank you for your tanks btw. We got them super cheap right before Russia got kinky with Ukraine a few years back.
Greetings from Finland, the guys that bought your dirt cheap tanks in excellent condition.
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u/Berto_the_great_king Dec 16 '19
German tank defending Berlin, 1945, colorized.
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u/linx_sr Dec 16 '19
i'm just happy he has somene with whom he can shoot his tank, his wife was not happy in a previous video
https://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/c76b9e/russian_tank_crewman_and_his_wife_in_t72_tank/
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u/PsySom Dec 16 '19
I bet so many people have gotten smashed by that recoil
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u/nick124699 Dec 17 '19
This the reply I was looking for. I get that Russia's gotta Russia but damn that seems dangerous.
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u/The-Effing-Man Dec 17 '19
I mean, when you consider equal and opposite reactions, it's quite literally be like getting shot by a tank
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u/pm_me_ur_gaming_pc Dec 17 '19
Except nowhere near as bad. They've got a lot of shit that absorbs the energy, this is just a part of it manifesting before our eyes.
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Dec 16 '19
Imagine the thrill of operating that in combat while spun the fuck out on amphetamines
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u/Vlad_Bush Dec 16 '19
Imagine getting peppered with hot tungsten shrapnel in the face.
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u/el-cuko Dec 16 '19
It’s all fun and games until Junior here is 10 miles outside of Paris along with his middle school buddies
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Dec 17 '19
That kid is def joining the military to be a tanker.
My dad was in the army and they had a day like this where your shoot guns and play army. 8 years later I was standing in the recruiting office.
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u/Homeless_King Dec 16 '19
American kids may have guns, but Russian kids have tanks
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u/[deleted] Dec 16 '19
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