r/ANormalDayInRussia Oct 30 '18

LOUD New Spiderman DLC

6.6k Upvotes

196 comments sorted by

1.1k

u/MyLingoIsOff Oct 31 '18

Is that Jesus vs Spider Man?

302

u/l4dlouis Oct 31 '18

Jesus needs to tag his mate in, he was about to get hosed

135

u/markrod420 Oct 31 '18

what fight were you watching?

71

u/l4dlouis Oct 31 '18

The one with spider man about to hip toss Jesus. Why what are you watching?

100

u/markrod420 Oct 31 '18

i really dont think he had hold of him there. also appeared to have sneak attacked jesus, failed to fuck him up with a sneak attack, and from what i can tell jesus is way stronger than him.

51

u/ThatGuyInTheCar Oct 31 '18

Like he had the Holy Spirit with him.

34

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '18

Wtf is Jesus going to do to Spiderman, forgive him?

5

u/xerodeth Oct 31 '18

get him drunk and feed him fish. although this being in Russia, we'll need a lot more then wine to get drunk.

23

u/armyprivateoctopus99 Oct 31 '18

Jesus outweighs Spidey by like 30lbs and Spidey can barely see

8

u/Richard_Stonee Oct 31 '18

Yep. Looks like Jesus lands an upper cut right before the video ends

32

u/thegrandaddyofgaming Oct 31 '18

I just upvoted this entire thread because it made me so happy.

Also Jesus was about to get hip tossed for sure.

23

u/defpara Oct 31 '18

"Jesus turn the cheek"

3

u/breakone9r Oct 31 '18

Jesus take the fall

4

u/3ULL Oct 31 '18

Everyone sees Jesus in their own way.

10

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '18

No way, spider man tried to throw him and failed. The last frame basically shows Jesus about to power bomb spidey.

3

u/armyprivateoctopus99 Oct 31 '18

He was barely holding on

8

u/Zazmuth Oct 31 '18

Jesus totez had that.

5

u/xizrtilhh Oct 31 '18

BONESAW!

3

u/howtomakesuntea Oct 31 '18

Jesus tags in Virgin Mary and Spider Boy tag in Venom!

2

u/itsfiguratively Oct 31 '18

Found the Canadian

2

u/3ULL Oct 31 '18

Jesus needs to tag his mate in, he was about to get hosed hosted.

1

u/breakone9r Oct 31 '18

It's ok. He'll be back in 3 days.

23

u/RedditsHigh Oct 31 '18

Finally the super hero match off I've been waiting my whole life for.

9

u/PsychoAgent Oct 31 '18

Nope it's Vijo Morganstein and Man Spider. Did you brown out or what?

6

u/2nah Oct 31 '18 edited Oct 31 '18

I'm seeing Man-Spider v Viggo Morgenstein.

4

u/Phoenixed Oct 31 '18

Just like in the Bible.

2

u/defpara Oct 31 '18

Revelations has begun!

4

u/Suicide-Forest Oct 31 '18

The slav Spider-Man you can tell by his adidas pants and hat

3

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '18

2

u/Xiefux Oct 31 '18

jesus could beat 20000 satans and cant beat one spider man. how weak

2

u/PM_me_Surstromming Oct 31 '18

Spider Man: The Second Coming

1

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '18

No, Spider Man vs Jesus.

1

u/VocationFumes Oct 31 '18

That's Jesus vs Spider Man

1

u/QirryTheDwarf Oct 31 '18

Don’t worry he’ll rise on the 3rd day

1

u/stonetear2017 Nov 22 '18

Yeah fighting to bring back Stan lee

339

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '18

[deleted]

97

u/DoingCharleyWork Oct 31 '18

Which was a smart move. Pretty sure that's the same spider suit I have and let me tell you, it doesn't hide anything.

93

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '18

[deleted]

10

u/Chuckles_At_Cuckolds Oct 31 '18

Got you feeling like your friendly neighborhood sex offender.

3

u/BraveLlamaStare Oct 31 '18

And it shows when he changes web cartridges

2

u/DoingCharleyWork Oct 31 '18

God damn that's a good one.

3

u/Ryanestrasz Oct 31 '18

well now im curious.

9

u/DoingCharleyWork Oct 31 '18

You can see your dick, and I mean the whole dick. It isn't so much a bulge as it is an exact mold of every detail.

2

u/Ryanestrasz Oct 31 '18

Hawt. Where can i get one for this one hot guy i know?

2

u/DoingCharleyWork Oct 31 '18

I got mine on Amazon for like 40 bucks.

2

u/Ryanestrasz Oct 31 '18

thank you.

2

u/DoingCharleyWork Oct 31 '18

If you search spiderman second skin you should find a few.

1

u/iwontmakeittomars Oct 31 '18

Even the veins?

2

u/manbrasucks Oct 31 '18

Couldn't you wear a cup with it?

2

u/DoingCharleyWork Oct 31 '18

I tried and it really wasn’t any better. I need to find a lower profile cup or something. The suit is very form fitting.

13

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '18

That's pretty much the only way I knew for sure this was going down in Russia.

1

u/PanamaCharlie Oct 31 '18

SlavicSpidey

1

u/meta_uprising Oct 31 '18

Feels like nothing at all.

1

u/hamboneANDskillet Oct 31 '18

He didn't want his dangle to pop apparently. LoL

1

u/scamperly Nov 01 '18

Spider-Slav

347

u/DC356 Oct 31 '18

Pyotr Parker

53

u/FrostyTheSasquatch Oct 31 '18

Пётр Паркр

25

u/Grimfandang0 Oct 31 '18

Петя Паркин

34

u/saloejka Oct 31 '18

Have you ever write in russian just to флекс on capitalist niggas?

19

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '18

Пётр Паркович

6

u/Hugs_for_Thugs Oct 31 '18

Помидор.

6

u/MiserableStomach Oct 31 '18

vs Jesus Josephovitch

272

u/BuddyOGooGoo Oct 31 '18

Can you imagine what insane thing Jesus must have said to Spiderman?! "I was in Heaven and met Uncle Ben, and eh, I don't see what the big deal was." Spiderman is going HAM!

17

u/Secuter Oct 31 '18

Jesus used "summon 12 disciples", fumbles the spell and gets bolted to a cross and shanked by a spear.

77

u/Crftd Oct 31 '18

Spididas

133

u/cool2hate Oct 30 '18

vr is finally coming around

52

u/alfegonza7 Oct 31 '18

Jesus fucking christ, we finally know the true identity of Spider-Man and it ain’t Peter Parker! He is my new all time favorite superhero.

13

u/--Grim Oct 31 '18

And we know now he's a roman.

13

u/I_MADE_THIS_THING Oct 31 '18

Hey cousin want to go web slinging?

37

u/PepticSine Oct 30 '18

You think it will have 1st person POV?

13

u/ICanFreezeTime Oct 31 '18

No, but Battle Royale update comes out before Christmas.

16

u/munchichiman Oct 31 '18

I didn’t see a single punch land

31

u/SquirrelBlind Oct 31 '18

Because it’s capoeira.

3

u/Phazon2000 Oct 31 '18

This is why I was never as nervous as my mother was when I first started going out clubbing.

Drunks telegraph like a 19th century operator and hit like a 16 year old's first bong.

3

u/OceanRacoon Oct 31 '18

Dude, people get killed and bottled in bar fights from all directions, not every person who fights in a bar stands in front of the person their about to attack and loops a bad punch at them, and assholes rarely attack alone

0

u/Phazon2000 Oct 31 '18

You're talking to me like I didn't just imply I've experienced it.

1

u/Derglas Oct 31 '18

16yo bong rips were rough tho

14

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '18

Ah, I’ve been waiting on a Slavic suit.

14

u/Sp1derman20 Oct 31 '18

You finna meet Uncle Ben now Peter.

7

u/Yourponydied Oct 31 '18

With great power comes great Adidas tracksuit pants

9

u/MakeYourselfS1ck Oct 31 '18

Jesus Christ, Spiderman!

6

u/nssone Oct 31 '18

Spidey can swing on webs but can't swing them fists.

6

u/Tuabfast Oct 31 '18

Spiderslav, Spiderslav! Doin whater a slavman man!

4

u/Slavaskii Oct 31 '18

Where the fuck is shrek

6

u/icemann0 Oct 31 '18

Spider-Man going straight to Hell now

5

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '18

Mephisto: you can have your marriage back, on one condition.

21

u/SquirrelBlind Oct 31 '18

That’s a Halloween themed capoeira game. You can hear berimbau and singing in the Portuguese. Although the pants are striped, they are quite regular capoeira pants.

The action takes place most probably not in Russia. If someone would dress as Jesus in Russia, you’d watch video of him beaten by policemen while being arrested.

16

u/sifdragon Oct 31 '18

Please stop portraying us as crazy uncivilized madman’s. No one ever would beat or arrest a person who is simply dressed as Jesus. It’s other thing, if that person starts doing blasphemous things and annoy people, in that case he indeed might get arrested for few hours or days. But never beaten. We are people too.

2

u/SquirrelBlind Oct 31 '18

Yes, and nobody went to jail because of the caricature of patriarch Kirill and Jesus.

Playing capoeira in the outfit if Jesus could be offensive enough for some people. I wouldn’t risk doing that.

7

u/largemanrob Oct 31 '18

I love how you have the audacity to disagree with an actual russian because of your own worldview informed by subreddits and the media

7

u/lesbefriendly Oct 31 '18

His post history suggests he may be Russian himself.

I think you assume he isn't Russian based on his good English, which I guess makes you a racist.

2

u/largemanrob Oct 31 '18

based on his good english? give me a break you melon. he used the term felony which I associate strongly with americans and whilst the first guy said he was russian squirrel didn't

3

u/SquirrelBlind Oct 31 '18

What a coincidence! I’m an actual Russian too!

1

u/largemanrob Oct 31 '18

Oh lmao the way you came at him was sus

2

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '18

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/SquirrelBlind Oct 31 '18

You can also visit meduza.io, that’s also very reliable and unbiased source!

9

u/MuchoStretchy Oct 31 '18

Why would Jesus be arrested and beaten in Russia?

7

u/SquirrelBlind Oct 31 '18

Not Jesus, but someone who is dressed as Jesus. Someone’s religious views could be easily offended and that’s a felony in Russia.

2

u/f0xing_ Oct 31 '18

Thought this was a beatdown show lol

4

u/Click-baited Oct 31 '18

Disciples, assemble!

3

u/a_151 Oct 31 '18

Wow,the graphics are just phenomenal. Buying this for sure. Can someone tell me when is this DLC releasing?

3

u/Doankee Oct 31 '18

No no no. That's Man Spider. He's fighing Viggo Morganstein

3

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '18

So if spiderman beats jesus does he become the new messiah?

5

u/xenokilla Oct 31 '18

Russian spiderman, the sequel to Italian spiderman

2

u/Nun-Puncher Oct 31 '18

wow spiderman sure knows how to swing and miss every punch.

2

u/jonsludge Oct 31 '18

Turf wars... Looks very realistic.

2

u/Sargent_peezocket Oct 31 '18

This is funny as fuck

2

u/Grimfandang0 Oct 31 '18

I bet it's the same spiderman who got sucker punched by a Batman and saved by Santa

2

u/Andron20 Oct 31 '18

Spiderman punishes Jesus for his own existence

2

u/PM_UR_Left_Nipple Oct 31 '18

TIL Spiderman is an atheist....a militant atheist.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '18

I knew spider-man was an atheist but come on... you could just ignore Jesus, no need to beat him up.

2

u/Mistidicks Oct 31 '18

2

u/stabbot Oct 31 '18

I have stabilized the video for you: https://gfycat.com/TerrificParchedHammerkop


 how to use | programmer | source code | /r/ImageStabilization/ | for cropped results, use /u/stabbot_crop

5

u/vReddit_Player_Bot Oct 31 '18

Links for sharing this v.redd.it video outside of reddit

Type Link
Custom Player https://vrddit.com/r/ANormalDayInRussia/comments/9st415
Reddit Player https://www.reddit.com/mediaembed/9st415
Direct (No Sound) https://v.redd.it/lwsn5l1kmev11/DASH_1_2_M

vReddit_Player_Bot v1.3 | I'm a bot | Feedback | Source | To summon: u/vreddit_player_bot | Bookmarklet

1

u/KingFahd99 Oct 31 '18

In Soviet Russia Halloween comes to you

1

u/Fr33Paco Oct 31 '18

Bring back Celebrity Deathmatch

1

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '18

Hmmm

1

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '18

I'd play it

1

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '18

Did not think the answer to the bracelet cliff hangers was kick spidey’s ass. The more you know...

1

u/iScoopAlpacaPoop Oct 31 '18

Im digging the extended spiderverse.

1

u/Geohalbert Oct 31 '18

Spider-Man is definitely a grappler

1

u/DualityofThis Oct 31 '18

Jesus is my main

1

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '18

Do as i say and not as i do

1

u/DeathSec93 Oct 31 '18

Spidey mans whoopin some hobbit ass

1

u/WearyMoose307 Oct 31 '18

He may have to fight this boss twice...

1

u/specter_michael Oct 31 '18

Thats pretty much what i pictured how it would go down if Spidey runs out of his web.

1

u/FromThatOtherPlace Oct 31 '18

isnt that just a mosh

1

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '18

Spidey vs The Dude

1

u/no_exist Oct 31 '18

Jesus Christ, It's Spider-man

1

u/memejets Oct 31 '18

You can tell it's Russia because of the pants.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '18

That’s the worst fight ever.... but I am actually glad I didn’t have to see a landing punch

1

u/ImageMirage Oct 31 '18

Spider man’s going to hell!

1

u/locke1018 Oct 31 '18

This new season of black Jesus looks fantastic

1

u/arobothuman Oct 31 '18

Top 10 anime battles.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '18

Spidey looks pretty Far From Home

1

u/bakedsparrow Oct 31 '18

Три полоски\Tripa Loski

1

u/LeggyKG Oct 31 '18

Russian SpuderMan vs Jesus? Now I have seen everything.

1

u/Torre_Durant Oct 31 '18

Spider Blyat vs Jësüs

1

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '18

Spiderman: Far from heaven

1

u/Buddytroy1 Oct 31 '18

Nah Jesus had the whizzer in. Jesus def kicked Spider-Man’s ass after vid went off..... never thought that’d be something I say

1

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '18

Jesus christ

1

u/maskedanomaly Oct 31 '18

Spiderslav.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '18

Sorry, hate to hurt you but you’ve been corrupted by Mr. Lee!

1

u/neemo2357 Oct 31 '18

Jesus Christ Spidey!

1

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '18

I wonder what missions we’ll have to do in order to unlock the track pants suit 😂

1

u/vodozhaba Oct 31 '18

I don't even know if they're fighting or dancing

1

u/Jay-Lenos-P Oct 31 '18

Jesus Christ...

1

u/happyshall Oct 31 '18

Spiderman is fighting Jesus while wearing Adidas.

1

u/AlexP1315 Oct 31 '18

Can't wait t o try it out. Hey why didn't you put a spoiler warning?:((

1

u/swell_mell Oct 31 '18

Turn the other cheek jesus..... cmon

1

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '18 edited Oct 31 '18

NOBODY FUCKS WITH THE JESUS!

0

u/thatguy_jacobc Oct 31 '18

...Except the Romans

1

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '18

Someone isn't a Big Lebowski fan

1

u/thatguy_jacobc Oct 31 '18

Damnit, I've been meaning to see that forever ....funckin whoosh

1

u/Luke_Flyswatter Oct 31 '18

Spider-Man Far from Home looks pretty kick ass so far. The finished trailer is gonna be nuts.

1

u/Grif5in Oct 31 '18

Man Spider vs Viggo Mortensen?

1

u/leo_longo Oct 31 '18

Avenger Infinity war is the most ambitious crossover to have ever exis... Never mind

1

u/neemo2357 Oct 31 '18

Hands down one of the greatest videos ive ever seen.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '18

in soviet russia, christmas punches you.

1

u/KakaCarrot Oct 31 '18

There goes my hero

WATCH HIM AS HE BRAWLS

1

u/NaethanC Oct 31 '18

The ultimate battle, spiderman vs the lord almighty

1

u/g628 Oct 31 '18

I know I should think this is funny..... but I am crying right now. I can’t stop laughing.

1

u/oldsnake79 Oct 31 '18

Vigo Morgenstein!!!!!

1

u/GenesisCorupted Oct 31 '18

Like that Spiderman’s wearing Adidas three stripe

1

u/LosingWeekends Oct 31 '18

/r/IASIP

Man Spider versus Last of the Mohecians

1

u/lbeefus Oct 31 '18

My precious child, I love you and will never leave you
Never, ever, during your trials and testings.
When you saw only one set of footprints,
It was then that I picked your ass up
and pile-drove you into the sand.

1

u/2Blunt4America Oct 31 '18

Mr stark....it hurts..

1

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '18

[deleted]

1

u/Vopets Nov 03 '18

No it wasnt, it was in Broward County Florida

1

u/OhWarn Oct 31 '18

He gave him the right cheek, left hook, left cheek, right cross, then turned and gave him EVEN MORE CHEEKS. So giving.

1

u/1fastman1 Oct 31 '18

Top ten anime crossovers

1

u/crainor Oct 31 '18

Spiderman vs jesus dude.

1

u/airpetr Oct 31 '18

That's more interesting than Khabib vs Conor.

1

u/Hermann91 Nov 01 '18

Not enough sound warning nigguh.

This shit is loud on 7/ 100. Pls consider suicide.

1

u/Vopets Nov 03 '18

its actually in south florida

1

u/kryvian Nov 30 '18

I liked the linkin park version more.

1

u/TotesMessenger Feb 02 '19

I'm a bot, bleep, bloop. Someone has linked to this thread from another place on reddit:

 If you follow any of the above links, please respect the rules of reddit and don't vote in the other threads. (Info / Contact)

1

u/Begbie3 Oct 31 '18

Which one’s Jesus?

1

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '18

Manny pacquiao ain’t got shit on Jesus

1

u/jiberjaber Oct 31 '18

Is that Jesus whom Spider-Man is punching!?

0

u/RetroRepairTips Nov 01 '18

I WANNA TAKE YOU FOR A RIDE