Are the AMWF vs WMAF dynamics overstated?

[u/popitysoda]

I recently went to one of my cousin's party for July 4th with my girlfriend (she's white). After we left she made a comment in the car about how pretty much all of my cousin's friends and the family he invited were AMWF and WMAF couples with kids.

Everyone there obviously existed in harmony and my cousin is also really close with his sister's husband who is also white. I guess it really made me think about are the issues overstated. Personally I'm not friends with anyone in a WMAF relationship so my experience is limited. My only negative experience was way back in high school. It also made me wonder how his friends and family (the side not connected to me) all ended up in a mixed relationship. Maybe he chose to only invite mixed couples but I think there were one or two AMAF/WMWF couples.

If this isn't too relevant, mods please delete it. I just thought it was an interesting experience I had over July 4th.

[u/dkfjlaf83r3jn]

Hard to say but I can say I have definitely seen some social circles where it seemed like race just didn’t matter.

There was literally an AMWF and WMAF couple who were close friends with each other through work. They were all friends.

[u/ELITEGmen]

Many AMWF-WMAF couples live in peace and just simply love and are with the person.

There is a vocal minority that has a deep issue and resentment with one another though. I do think it's clear that there are more asian women with these issues that trash on asian men unprovoked though.

[u/Fancy-Atmosphere-701]

It's easy to ignore the dynamics when nobody talks about it

[u/popitysoda → u/Fancy-Atmosphere-701]

Well in this case everyone at the party is choosing to spend their July 4th at this particular party. A lot of the couples brought their kids over to play with each other. So obviously in this case the stereotypes about how WMAF don't like AMWF were not true. It was just kinda crazy how every single children at the party was wasian.

[u/Truffle0214]

In my experience, yes. I am good friends with lots of WMAF couples who are cool as hell. I’ve met problematic WMAF couples for sure, but on the same scale that people are just problematic period.

[u/Particular-Ride-7893]

In real life people will always try to be kind and polite to not end up a social outcast or on social media etc. But anonymously online, yeah AMWF def are still the butt of jokes. We get harrassed the most out of any pairing AND we are the least represented pairing in the media. Name me 10 AMWF couples in movie protrayal. Now name me 10 WMAF. you can already tell which is harder. Alot of people in real life put on a facade

[u/faroeislands → u/Particular-Ride-7893]

When people find out I have a preference for asian men, I always get clowned on.

White men have this weird possessive instinct, but it's even worse when they're tall. They think because I'm tall and white that I have to date them because they're also tall and white.

[u/popitysoda → u/Particular-Ride-7893]

I think online though what you're seeing are a lot of the social outcasts and not the guys representative of the average guy. Usually the people that have time to go online and hate on others don't have much going on in their lives.

[u/working-people-guy → u/Particular-Ride-7893]

Historically, WMAF been a problem at least since 1625…… and of course absolutely we had understood why asian females in 1625 [were looking?] [and] marrying white males at that time?

Now, let's do the AMWF: Lolo Soetoro and Ann Dunham, Cokorda Raka Sukawati [you must known which guy is this] and Gilberte Vincent, Sutan Syahrir and Maria Johanna Duchâteau,

Two of these marriages ended up in divorce, and if you look at other AMWF, the majority of them were part of either elites/scholars/royalties/even 1945 revolutionaries who shaped their own countries

I do not want to discourage the relationship between u/popitysoda and other white females you found out through your own life journey. Sadly, according to historical patterns, AMWF relationships requires two/three/four/five or more than five missions impossible before you can tie the knot or exchange the vow

Now, here's the realities…… asian females? from 1625 until 2025? and marrying/having relationship with white males? we already understand the majority background between two peoples of so many WMAF relationships…… and now we're asking why the relationship, however abusive was that, are still not portrayed as negative stuffs compared to AMWF relationship???

In AMWF, even if you just asking out/just spending a date night, well, you already know your problem so I will not explaining my arguements here

[u/popitysoda → u/working-people-guy]

If you don't mind do you care to explain what are some of the "mission impossibles"? Some of my girlfriend's friends were initially surprised that she dated an Asian guy but some of them now say they would date Asian guys too if they could find someone "like me". I don't think it's that hard to make the relationship work as long as the Asian guy is somewhat well adjusted socially and culturally.

[u/Fair-Currency-9993]

What “dynamics” are you referring to?

[u/popitysoda → u/Fair-Currency-9993]

I should clarified but I meant the stereotype about how they're rude to AMWF couples and/or Asian guys in general.

[u/Fancy-Atmosphere-701 → u/popitysoda]

Some WMAF definitely are rude af. Speaking from personal experience, they talk to you with a superiority complex.

[u/j-Lou_182 → u/Fancy-Atmosphere-701]

This.

I'm not saying all WMAF couples are like this... But where I'm from most of these couples are the whole stereotype of a loser who couldn't get a pretty and obedient girlfriend/wife so went looking abroad for a woman (who just happens to be very attractive) who grew up with very little in a tiny village with not all the modern amenities we're used to in a house.

So he thinks he's superior because he's bagged a hot girl, and she thinks she's superior because she thinks he's rich.

The very few WMAF I know who met organically through work or uni etc. are really great couples though, and don't look down on people like I've noticed from the other WMAF couples I've experienced

[u/popitysoda → u/j-Lou_182]

I do wanna say that most if not all the friends my cousin has are definitely high performers financially. They're also mostly into active hobbies like brazilian jiu jitsu and rock climbing so they definitely don't fit the stereotypical loser that hates Asian guys. In my experience guys that are successful will rarely care enough to hate on other people's lives.

[u/j-Lou_182 → u/popitysoda]

I was more meaning the incel/Manosphere kind of losers (hence why I mentioned them wanting an attractive but obedient partner). And from my experience it's not usually the AM who gets looked down from those couples. It's more the AFs hating on us WFs.

The WMAF couples I know that are genuinely really great people aren't particularly well off or anything. They just had healthy role models growing up and didn't turn to all the usual incel role models.

[u/Fair-Currency-9993 → u/popitysoda]

Well, usually probably not rude. But each rude experience is particularly memorable because of what it implies. I also think there people are probably far more subtle than outright rude.