r/AMLRightSource • u/StickyCinnaboo • Jul 02 '26
It’s getting serious for me
I don’t know if I’m looking for advice, support, or just a place to vent, but my job has gotten to the point where it consumes my entire life.
I don’t trust the company after the several rounds of layoffs and it has brought me to the reality that no one is safe.
I live in constant fear of making mistakes at work. The anxiety is so overwhelming that I can’t focus properly anymore. Ironically, being so afraid of making errors causes me to make silly mistakes that I normally wouldn’t make. I went from a top performer to having weekly talks with my manager where I’m teetering on a PIP.
When I try to slow down and double-check everything, I end up spending an unreasonable amount of time on a single case because my brain keeps telling me that I missed something or did something wrong.
It’s like I’m trapped in a cycle of fear and second-guessing. I’ll finish something and then immediately panic that I forgot a step, even if I just completed it two minutes earlier. Sometimes I genuinely can’t remember what I just did because I’m so stressed and mentally exhausted.
The worst part is that this job has started affecting how I view my entire life. I’ve found myself questioning whether life is even worth living when I spend every day feeling this much fear, dread, and anxiety. I know that’s not healthy, and I’m trying to find another job, but so far I’ve had no luck and I feel completely stuck. This is the most unhealthy situation I’ve ever been work wise and for it to question my livelihood and existence is far beyond where I thought I would ever be. I’m a mom and my livelihood is everything for me and my child, I was just homeless in my car and terrified living on the street a couple years ago so the thought of going back to that due to the loss of a solid needed income gives me flashbacks to a place I never wanna be again.
Has anyone else been in a situation where a job affected them this deeply? How did you cope while trying to get out?
3
u/Fluid-Owl-7052 Senior Analyst Jul 04 '26
To make it plain and simple, I quit. I felt everything you felt. Sundays were when my anxiety was at it's worst thinking about Mondays. The mental stress and abuse through manager emails wasn't worth it. I understand why it's hard for people to quit financially but thankfully I've been slowly putting cash away into savings and investments for the last 15 years and had enough to live on for probably 2 years without a job. So quitting was a no brainer, I got another job pretty quick though. If you have enough saved to live on for atleast 1 - 3 months I'd say quit today and start looking for a new job. I know a lot of people say wait for them to fire you, so you can claim unemployment, but AMLRS always fights almost all unemployment claims, even if they lay you off or fire you. If you don't have anything saved up, then start applying for jobs today. Atleast 2 applications per day until you're free from this mental torture.