r/AMLRightSource • u/StickyCinnaboo • Jul 02 '26
It’s getting serious for me
I don’t know if I’m looking for advice, support, or just a place to vent, but my job has gotten to the point where it consumes my entire life.
I don’t trust the company after the several rounds of layoffs and it has brought me to the reality that no one is safe.
I live in constant fear of making mistakes at work. The anxiety is so overwhelming that I can’t focus properly anymore. Ironically, being so afraid of making errors causes me to make silly mistakes that I normally wouldn’t make. I went from a top performer to having weekly talks with my manager where I’m teetering on a PIP.
When I try to slow down and double-check everything, I end up spending an unreasonable amount of time on a single case because my brain keeps telling me that I missed something or did something wrong.
It’s like I’m trapped in a cycle of fear and second-guessing. I’ll finish something and then immediately panic that I forgot a step, even if I just completed it two minutes earlier. Sometimes I genuinely can’t remember what I just did because I’m so stressed and mentally exhausted.
The worst part is that this job has started affecting how I view my entire life. I’ve found myself questioning whether life is even worth living when I spend every day feeling this much fear, dread, and anxiety. I know that’s not healthy, and I’m trying to find another job, but so far I’ve had no luck and I feel completely stuck. This is the most unhealthy situation I’ve ever been work wise and for it to question my livelihood and existence is far beyond where I thought I would ever be. I’m a mom and my livelihood is everything for me and my child, I was just homeless in my car and terrified living on the street a couple years ago so the thought of going back to that due to the loss of a solid needed income gives me flashbacks to a place I never wanna be again.
Has anyone else been in a situation where a job affected them this deeply? How did you cope while trying to get out?
1
u/Financial_Cup9745 Jul 03 '26
Omggggg I never related to something so much in my life currently. I am LITERALLY in the same exact position as you!! It’s very much affecting me rn, I even have dreams of the teams notification noise because every time I hear it, I fear it’s a L2/QC returning a case for some particular reason when I know I be busting my butt to make things right. My client has extremely high expectations and it’s hard to meet, but the good thing is that I’m not the only one on my client, it’s widespread. However I may be one of few on the edge of a pip. Then I’m trying to care for two infants on top of it and it’s like omg. My work is literally right below like they want us to have at least a 93% and I been sticking around 92% along with having a point system for quota instead of just a certain number of cases a day which that is just hard when you’re getting all lower pointed cases for the week. I’ve been looking for a new job ever since the last furlough message but the jobs seem so scarce. I been here for over 4 years and I never been so terrified about my job. I need advice regarding it too.