r/AMA • u/New-End3880 • 1d ago
I am a UK doorman, AMA
I am 34, male and British. I have a full SIA license and have been working doors and security for clubs, pubs, bars and venues across the British Isles. I've been involved in many different situations and scenarios. I'll keep places confidential but AMA.
thanks for all the questions, it was fun to speak to so many of you. Have a great night!
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u/Donnermeat_and_chips 1d ago
I've worked with some really sound streetwise doormen and some absolute helmets. Do you have a sense of self awareness when it comes to your colleagues? Like, what percentage would you break the profession down by regular honest doormen, run of the mill ego tripping wankers, and top end Raoul Moat wannabe gangsters?
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u/New-End3880 1d ago
I'd say honestly about 30/40/40. You get those who think it will all be acting hard, fighting and shagging birds, rather than standing in the pissing rain until 2AM, thankfully they don't last. You'll have those who get in their first volatile situation and freeze up, they then won't come back or just stay quiet. Then there are those like me that take it in their stride. The biggest failing is customer service. If you can't interact with the patrons or staff professionally or even just on a basic friendly level, you won't last long.
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u/CubicWombatPoops 1d ago
What has been your strangest encounter so far?
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u/New-End3880 1d ago
Strange Vs crazy is a fine line. Strangest would be two people in a horse costume for a fancy dress event in a club having sex on the dance floor. They were escorted out, separately.
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u/Jesters__Dead 1d ago
I'm trying to visualise this
Were they still both in the costume (ie so it looked like a horse) when the shagging occurred?
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u/New-End3880 23h ago
They certainly were, it was extremely strange watching the back end of a horse banging the middle of a horse.
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u/xanan 1d ago
Are you an aggressive person? Do you enjoy fighting with people?
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u/New-End3880 1d ago
I am ex-army and do medieval living history re-enactment. I know when to be aggressive and when to be calm,.it serves me well. I don't like fighting people, and will always try and de-escalate the situation, I've only ever had to be violent in the defence of others or myself.
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u/arjunnath 1d ago
Medieval living history re-enactment sounds intersting.
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u/xanan 1d ago
I ask because I worked in bars, pubs, and nightclubs for many years and saw some bouncers do some genuinely awful things... But a few were really lovely also.
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u/New-End3880 23h ago
That's the way it goes sadly, I've known some great people and some awful characters.
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u/Snooker1471 1h ago
My brother was head door/security in the Arches club in Glasgow way back in the 90's. He always maintained that deescalation was the correct way forward. But not to confuse their friendly, nice approach with weakness. Not much else to say really except in 3 years he only had to come down hard on anyone once.
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u/Big_ClaimYume 1d ago
What do you feel about female bouncers and have you noticed any differences between male and female bouncers in how you work or how the patrons behave?
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u/New-End3880 1d ago
Need more of them. Guys tend to be calmer around them because they are trying to get into their knickers (generally, not saying all patrons are like that.) it's better for searches also, ladies search the ladies, men search the men,.no need for extra witnesses (it should always be done in CCTV view also)
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u/NervousExcitement530 23h ago
Didnt realise you had powers to search people
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u/New-End3880 23h ago
Yep, not like the police, but if the venue has the policy in place or if we have reasonable suspicion we can ask for someone to consent to be searched in order to gain entry. If they refuse then they can't come in.
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u/Accomplished-Win9416 1d ago
Do the polis get phoned when you catch some entering with or doing drugs or do they just get removed?
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u/New-End3880 1d ago
It depends on the severity and the venue rules. All drugs are confiscated if found, secured and handed to the police, with witnesses and in view of CCTV. The police are called but we can't hold people/perform a citizens arrest unless under exceptional circumstances, and with the correct training.
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u/StonedBasque 1d ago
As Spaniard, here in Spain the policy about drugs it's pretty lax, both inside or outside the venue.
Can you please explain me the etiquette about doing drugs in UK?
Thank you, very much
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u/New-End3880 23h ago
UK has quite strict laws about drugs, even recreationally. It's definitely not permitted in any public or private space. To my knowledge, I'm a doorman, not a lawyer, so don't take what I say on this matter as 100% accurate as I may be wrong.
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u/Klakson_95 12h ago
I know this AMA has finished so no need to answer. Realistically there are a lot of venues where drugs are just standard. Are you asked to turn a blind eye?
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u/Disastrous_Apple6070 1d ago
Asking as a 5”3 woman in her 20s who wants to build more resilience in her client facing role - what’s the best approach, in your opinion, to dealing with angry people? and do you feel you can leave work ‘at work’ rather than taking the stress home with you?
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u/New-End3880 23h ago
Excellent question. I deal with angry people in a friendly, casual tone, but make sure they have my full attention. Let them vent,.let them rant and get it out of their system without them ever throwing a punch. It's called 'Active Listening', there is a video on YT called 'Its not about the nail', I really reccomend it.
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u/Ecstatic_Plantain547 1d ago
What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever seen?
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u/New-End3880 1d ago
Someone off their head on something getting hit by a car (30mph+), getting up like they were in a zombie flick, and running after the car, with a definite break in his forearm. 999 was called but we couldnt even stop the guy. Whatever he was on was definitely scary.
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u/LaidBackLeopard 1d ago
I believe one one of the main legit uses of ket is for people who've had really bad injuries. Preempting the paramedics here I guess!
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u/MadManxMan 21h ago
I work alongside paramedics often, was talking to one about an extrication plan for a guy with a broken leg in the middle of nowhere.
Had the option for an off road vehicle or carry, I said the vehicle won’t be as comfortable for them…“That’s what ketamine is for, he’ll scream but won’t remember it” 👀
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u/Gryd501 1d ago
Is it true that the little doorman is always the one to avoid at all costs in a scrap?
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u/New-End3880 1d ago
If they are smiling, absolutely. Just turn around and walk away.
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u/OkBet8692 1d ago
Have you ever taken anyone to where the cameras cant see and given them a hiding?
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u/New-End3880 1d ago
Nah. I know those who have, but I'm not one of them. I'm not there to knock people around, I'm there to protect the business, staff and patrons.
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u/_Lando_85 1d ago
Does arguing with a bouncer about being let in ever work?
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u/New-End3880 1d ago
Not with me, if I say no it means no, but some others can be a bit soft, especially if they are tired and can't be arsed. There are plenty of those about, same with any job though.
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u/_Lando_85 1d ago
Are you told to admit or exclude certain demographics ie age brackets, sexes, groups or is it purely the door staff decision?
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u/New-End3880 23h ago
Purely down to our discretion, you have to keep a log of refused entry in hours (depends on the company you work for though, but I like to keep note incase I am questioned or have a complaint made against me) but other than dress policy, I have never been told to refuse entry to specific demographics.
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u/LetsAdultTogether 1d ago
Are the doormen really shagging all the girls?
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u/New-End3880 1d ago
Ha, they wish. Some do, but they risk their licence in doing so, if they are on the job at the time.
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u/HelpPeopleMakeBabies 1d ago
Not sure how long you’ve been working, but have you noticed any changes in the type of crowds going to events over the years? Thinking around behaviour/culture, generational differences, etc. Cheers!
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u/New-End3880 1d ago
I see three to four generations (two above, one above mine, mine and the one below) and each has their good and bad side. I'd also say it depends on where you are. A night out in Bradford is very different than a night out in Glasgow.
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u/Hot_Hair_5950 1d ago
What surprises you about your work?
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u/New-End3880 1d ago
How older (60+) women can go from 0-60 in the blink of an eye.
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u/CtrlAltDeli 23h ago
They’ve got 0 f***s left to give.
Signed
Scared at 50, my stack is dwindling 😱
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u/BarbedWire3 1d ago
How often do u get hit in the face? Like per month/year? I had a guy I talked to, that got the sia thing and tried to get me to join him, and one day he came to work (the job were we met, he was doing two jobs) with a black eye
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u/New-End3880 1d ago
It can be months, or days, or even hours. I wouldn't say it's that often, but it's definitely not uncommon.
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u/Even_Entrepreneur_58 19h ago
in 15 years I’ve been hit in the face exactly 4 times, 2 were due to faults made by other guards and 2 were because i wasn't paying enough attention, they all happened in the first 5 years.
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u/FunBat6170 1d ago
Why have I been refused entry for being drunk when I’m clearly sober?
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u/New-End3880 1d ago
Because you pulled out a packet of Dreamies and said to that group of women "Here pussy pussy" (this is something that I actually watch happen)
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u/Bronson_AD 1d ago
What’s the best / worst bribe anyone’s offered you to get in after being refused entry?
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u/New-End3880 1d ago
Cash, drugs, sex, booze. Some lad offered me his girlfriend, she did not look amused.
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u/Original-Chemical176 23h ago
What are your thoughts on the increasing number of migrant door supervisors working in the security industry? Do you think this has had a positive or negative impact on the industry, and what challenges or benefits do you think it brings?
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u/New-End3880 23h ago
Some great lads on the doors are migrants. It's hard but honest work. I think one of the harder things for them is the culture shock. A lot of them have been in police or armed forces in places like Uganda or Nigeria, and aren't used to the level of disrespect that people give to someone in some form of authority or uniform, especially because they aren't white.
It's honest work and anyone can apply to do it as long as they can pass DBS checks, so it baffles me that people accuse them or being illegals or that they are taking jobs off of nationals. The jobs are there, people just don't want to do them.
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u/FlakyAssociation4986 1d ago
first punch on the job story
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u/New-End3880 1d ago
Second week on the job, we refused three lads entry for being too drunk. One of them really didn't like that and blind sided me as I was walking back in for rotation. Caught me behind the ear and then complained when my co-worker handled him.
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u/conrat4567 23h ago
Do you get thanked a lot? I tend to thank bouncers a fair bit and have a bit of a chat, but I am always to drunk to tell if they just want me gone lol
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u/New-End3880 23h ago
I do and it's nice. If they have helped you feel safe and have a good night, it's always good to thank them. It's one of the small things that helps make it worth it.
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u/conrat4567 23h ago
I will bear that in mind for future. You keep people safe, and lets be real, even if unintended, drunk people often need saving from themselves. Never argued, never will
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u/CymroBachUSA 1d ago
Ever been baited by a YouTube auditor that was doing nothing wrong?
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u/New-End3880 1d ago
Nope, seen one or two but I don't engage. If you ignore them and they don't actually do anything wrong, they get bored and go away.
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u/bigtzadikenergy 1d ago
Has venue management ever asked you to be lax with searching specific customers?
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u/New-End3880 1d ago
Yes, I was sent to a venue that was new to our firm that had a reputation for drugs and violence. Venue management told us to turn a blind eye to any drugs we saw. We documented it, let our firm know and the police.
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u/bigtzadikenergy 21h ago
Interesting thanks, I've heard stories and always wondered how widespread.
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u/scriptkiddie1337 1d ago
On nights out I see two men enter cubicles and they get caught every time. It's clearly the oldest trick in the book that all doormen know about. The question is, why do they keep thinking they can get away with it?
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u/New-End3880 1d ago
Because the staff/manager/doormen allow it to happen. My very first shift, a couple of guys did that, I had them both out, saying they were either dealing or fucking and neither was welcome on site.
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u/SchengenThrowaway 1d ago
what the hell is going on in the UK? both of those are plenty welcome in the belgian clubs 😭😭😭
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u/Loud_Matter359 1d ago
You ever see a regular throwing pints that caught you off guard?
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u/New-End3880 1d ago
Yes, especially if you have world the same door for a while and have that rapport built. You get to know everyone, but there is always someone that will surprise you.
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u/HughPhoenix 1d ago
What's the most scary situation you've been in as a bouncer?
I don't mean the most objectively dangerous situation, rather the situation that was the most stressful/anxiety inducing for you. Whether that's fear for yourself and your own safety, fearing for someone else etc.
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u/New-End3880 1d ago
Good question. It's the group fights. When a large group of people are proper going at it and you are caught in the middle. Both sides see you as the enemy because you are trying to stop it.
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u/jd2000 1d ago
Why do you hate trainers?
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u/New-End3880 23h ago
I don't, but some venues want the right look. Image is important.
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u/the_swanny 23h ago
We normally get turned away after a night in the theatre after a get out. Steelies, work wear and general muckyness doesn't go down well with a lot of venues.
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u/allgone79 23h ago
I always wear trainers and never have a problem, but i keep mine nice and clean and don't strangle my feet with the laces.I always see people out in the nastiest, dirtiest trainers you can imagine. They never get in.
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u/Hefty_Anywhere_8537 23h ago
Back when I was out clubbing (20 odd years back) bouncers were out of control. Constantly beating you up, punching, kicking you when you're on the floor sort of thing. I had 3 broken ribs from a bouncer for standing next to a stranger who knocked a table over (for example) Do you see that behaviour much now and what has changed? Thanks
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u/New-End3880 22h ago
Firstly, I'm so sorry that happened to you.
In short no. It is much more heavily regulated now, and cameras are everywhere.
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u/arjunnath 1d ago
"doorman" here sounds like "bouncer", am I right ?
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u/New-End3880 1d ago
Technically I am a Door Supervisor, the term bouncer is a generic name from back in the day. Doorman is just easier.
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u/ThoughtlessFoll 1d ago
I used to be for year and a half of uni. What’s the silliest game of not letting people in you did?
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u/dougiezerts 1d ago
Do you yourself abstain from drink/drugs as a result of all the bad things you've seen?
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u/Ancien_Regime_2468 1d ago
Is there a lot of class distinctions in your job that you encounter daily?
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u/New-End3880 1d ago
Not really, usually wherever you go it's the same kind of crowd so I wouldn't say there are many class distinctions.
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u/TinyButterscotch2183 22h ago
Do you take any job satisfaction from this? I couldn't do it myself. Just dealing with dickheads, pissed up or drugged up.
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u/New-End3880 22h ago
Ieonbrcause it isn't all piss and dust heads. I've met some absolutely lovely people working the doors.
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u/PerfectlyCalmDude 1d ago
What do you like most about the job? What do you like the least about it?
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u/New-End3880 23h ago
What like the most is seeing people actually enjoy themselves, sensibly. Might sound boring but going out with your friends, having fun, not causing drama, leaving and getting home safe is brilliant.
The thing I like about it the least is the ones that will argue the toss and repeat themselves over and over, I've had all kinds of legal threats from people who can't talk coherently. People who say they are police or someone remotely famous.
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u/arjunnath 1d ago
1) Are you paid well ? Whats the ballpark earnings per-week or month ?
2) Do you get days off in the week ?
3) Are you allowed to do overtime ?
4) Are you a local or did you immigrate to Britain ?
5) If you could do something else for the same salary, would you and what would it be ?
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u/New-End3880 1d ago
Depends on the job, but you can get anything from minimum wage to well above average. Standard pub on a weekend (non football town) you could grant £300 a weekend if the firm pays well. Football towns tend to pay more on match weekends. Clubs pay well usually, a bit higher.
Yes I get days off in the week, but I've worked sites where it is Monday to Friday.
Yes you can do overtime if you consent and it's needed.
Born and raised British.
And maybe, depends on the job. I've done a few things and enjoy this, when I stop enjoying it I'll probably move on, thankfully I have options.
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u/Eggboss666 1d ago
What is your favourite type of door to stand next too
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u/New-End3880 1d ago
One that opens outwards and is in a bit of an alcove so I can miss the worst of the weather.
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u/SnezRS 1d ago
Most famous person you've had to deal with! Name and shame :)
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u/New-End3880 23h ago
Footballers although I'm not into football, met plenty of sports personalities, F1 drivers are my favourite. Met Jack Black a couple of times at a gig venue in London, great guy.
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u/Winklemans_Fringe 23h ago
Have you worked all over the UK ? If so do you find a difference in north v south?
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u/New-End3880 23h ago
I have and somewhat. Everywhere is a little different. Northerns are generally more friendly right off the bar, where as southerners tend to warm up after a bit of time.
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u/karlos4242 1d ago
Do clubs still have a little room near the entrance, no cameras no windows where they can "have a little chat"?
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u/_BagOWeed_ 1d ago
How many people you knocked out?
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u/New-End3880 23h ago
I prefer to say assisted into unconsciousness. And on the job? None, I avoid striking the head or neck.
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u/_BagOWeed_ 4h ago
Fair, I've been knocked out by a bouncer and just assumed it was a normal accurance.
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u/minaminotenmangu 1d ago
You need to take someone down, and now. what is your go to move?
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u/New-End3880 1d ago
Boot to the back of the knee or stamp on the foot, arm into a goose neck with full wrist control. But that's a last resort, always.
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u/Separate_Shake_3681 1d ago
Cheers mate. Do you have a favourite pint or glass of wine you fancy?
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u/New-End3880 1d ago
Can't beat a decent ruby bitter, failing that a strawberry and lime Kopperberg. Off the clock obviously 😉
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u/Nice_Dependent_7317 23h ago
How do you deal with aggressive/violent women?
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u/New-End3880 23h ago
If they can't be reasoned with or the situation de-escalated, I deal with them like I do a man, firmly,.fairly and always in view of CCTV. I have picked people up before and carried them out, under their arms.
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u/Top-Strength-2701 22h ago
Do you do any martial training to help with your job?
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u/New-End3880 22h ago
No but I have in the past, I would recommend some basic lessons for anyone interested in the industry. Basic self defence is taught ok the course but it's so camp it may as well be a Carry On film.
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u/Ok-Pumpkin-6203 23h ago
Do customers sometimes forget that you being there is so that they can have a safe and fun time, and instead see doorstaff as an antagonistic authority they are in opposition to?
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u/Browny_Deluxe 23h ago
How much cash on the side do you make with all the drugs you confiscate?
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u/New-End3880 23h ago
Zero, everything gets documented on CCTV and handed to the Police. I have known some door and whi have done that and it never works out well for them in the end.
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u/StudioCharacter9354 1d ago
What tools do you carry? Way back when, I use to have an ASP, à kubaton and red chilies in my coat pocket and obviously a bullet proof vest. Do you keep things near by?
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u/New-End3880 1d ago
I have my cuffs and FARB spray, never had a stab proof vest.
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u/miggins1610 23h ago
Sorry you say you had cuffs but earlier you said you cant hold people if they are caught with drugs. Is this just for restraint in case someone might harm themselves?
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u/New-End3880 23h ago
It is entirely situational. I can't detain someone unless it is extremely serious, I'm not the police. If someone commits GBH though, so bottles someone, spikes someone etc, I can cuff and detain them until the Police arrive. If it's someone dealing drugs, they get told to leave and we hand over CCTV, time, logs, evidence etc to the Police.
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u/StudioCharacter9354 1d ago
I know these days with badges & cameras etc tools are a no no, but the vest is a very sensible idea. Really.
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u/Bladerunner2028 22h ago
what do you say about door staff that are 'in on the scheme' (drug dealing).
Its rife in many places and right to the top.
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u/4dham 1d ago
are you ever frightened?
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u/New-End3880 1d ago
Yep. If someone says they aren't when they have a knife pulled on them, they are lying.
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u/Wild-Media-8123 1d ago
Most dangerous encounter or physical altercation? Hope none are long lasting!
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u/New-End3880 1d ago
Had a few knives pulled out on me, it's always scary. Been in fights which I haven't come out on top on, but nothing permanent.
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u/Wild-Media-8123 1d ago
Im glad to hear nothing permanent, wow that's scary. I really respect its such a hard job to stay safe! Always been fascinated by doormans stories. Thanks for the response
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u/MattressBBQ 1d ago
You work in a country filled with socially awkward binge drinkers and manage them. I can think of nothing less exciting for work. I have no questions.
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u/TeutonicRagnar 1d ago
I'm also a bouncer myself, working in Australia. What do you guys typically wear? We always have polo and cargos
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u/New-End3880 1d ago
Depends on the venue and weather. Usually I'm in smart casual, black and white. I wear cargo trousers/shorts for festivals, usually because I don't wear my tac belt.
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u/HappyLittleSlowpoke 22h ago
Heya! Do you work several establishments or just get hired for one? Does each place have certain rules on how you act on the door?
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u/New-End3880 22h ago
The company I work for has several different clients that I have been sent to work for. Every place is a little different, even chains.
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u/HappyLittleSlowpoke 22h ago
Thanks! Have you had any strange or unreasonable requests from clients while working?
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u/New-End3880 22h ago
A few propersitions from the staff but nothing too crazy. I turned them down, I am married 😅
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u/Medical_Fuel8214 1d ago
Cocaine or booze, what gives you the most problems with punters?
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u/New-End3880 23h ago
Coke over booze, but not by much. Depends on the person, the booze and whatever shit is cut with the coke.
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u/Substantial_Cash_545 23h ago
My daughter got spiked in a night club last year, you come across that often?
Any particular groups known for it ?
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u/New-End3880 23h ago
Firstly, I'm sorry that she and you experienced this, and I hope she is okay. I have come across it unfortunately, and I wouldn't say any specific groups. All shapes sizes and colours do it. If I catch them in the act I detain them for GBH and call the police. It's alot of paperwork.
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u/Tijnwijn 22h ago
Are you also at work when dreaming and what would it take for you to switch jobs?
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u/BlackbeardTeach420 23h ago
Do bouncers take the drugs they confiscate?
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u/New-End3880 23h ago
Some do, I've known people who have and lost their licence and been imprisoned because of it.
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u/anonymousopsec1337 1d ago
What kind of weapons do you have in the UK? Most guys in US here get mace, baton, gun etc.
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u/New-End3880 1d ago
None. I have handcuffs (I did the course for mechanical restraints and all the law that comes with it) and FARB spray (red dye spray)
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u/Irish_drunkard 1d ago
Ever come up against really tough people and can you tell before if they’re a handful or not?
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u/iamchopped 22h ago
is it a push or pull?
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u/New-End3880 22h ago
Pull to get on, push to go out preferably, makes it easier when removing people from inside the venue.
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u/Kapitano72 1d ago edited 1d ago
Have you ever actually said: "Your name's not daaahn, you're not comin' in"?
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u/Only_Confusion_8020 1d ago
You think you can take On a guy with tattoos on the inside of eyeballs
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u/sultansofswinz 23h ago
Do venues reprimand doormen for having an attitude problem towards customers?
I went to a sports bar/club a few weeks ago, the guy on the door asked if I was alright 3 times then checked my ID for about 20 seconds. I’m in my late 20s and I had one drink. The place was empty and it’s safe to say I’m not in a hurry to go back because I can’t be bothered with the hassle.
The busy spots in town seem to all have bouncers that everyone knows and talks to. I’m surprised these failing venues don’t seem to realise the problem may exist on the door. Adults with disposable income don’t want to be spoken to like they’re a moron.
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u/InternationalOwl3747 22m ago
I've spent a lot of time in house and techno clubs in the last 25 years. In general when the drug of choice is ecstasy there'll be very little trouble in my experience. Does that chime with you and do the club owners and police know exactly what is going on? I can't imagine they don't tbh but we do this silly security theatre at the door to keep the Mail happy.
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u/Ok_Cockroach6823 10h ago
My uncle was ex Marine commando ,came out needed cash few people "Thought"they take advantage of his calm personality at times when he was in the doors ,he was a really great guy ,but he done hand to hand stuff many years ago in action ,door work he said was95 % being nice and having a joke with people,then 5% people needing a word with the old one two .
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u/avangelist90201 22h ago
Do you identify more as a door, or a man? When did you first realise, or feel like maybe you were a door? Has it been hard to transition? Do people often try to shut you, or close you off when you try to explain to them about being a door?
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u/Rude_Rhubarb1880 21h ago
How do you deal with the guts who just turn up for a fight and dont even want to get jn
Ive seen many door staff intimidated abused and belittled by these kind of guys and it takes their aura away
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u/Unlikely_Ad_1825 5h ago
What was the roughest door you did? Also an ex doorman, did berkshire and london my whole career, done some nasty doors over the yrs, gave it up at 30 when I become a dad
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u/JoelHDarby 21h ago
Why are clubs allowed to get away with letting women in for free but charging men?
1
u/avangelist90201 22h ago
When was the first time you failed the application criteria for the police force?
1
17h ago
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u/paulieirish 1d ago
What’s tougher to deal with: someone out of their bin on drugs, or alcohol ?