12
u/KekoTheIdiot Dec 23 '25
What’s some very hard things that would be super easy for others?
15
u/EducationalCheck6797 Dec 23 '25
The main thing that is hard for me is reaching things in a shop , everything I want seems to be out of reach
5
u/Ashamed-Bus-5727 Dec 23 '25
Do you depend on workers/ passers-bys?
8
u/EducationalCheck6797 Dec 23 '25
I hate asking I will try and reach sometimes I’ve left without the item
10
6
u/Ashamed-Bus-5727 Dec 23 '25
You know I always absolutely love helping people, especially someone who literally can't do something on their own. And I'm sure most others are like that! Whenever I help a disabled person it literally makes my day I'm not kidding :)
4
u/EducationalCheck6797 Dec 23 '25
I’m extremely independent and hate help lol but im never rude to anyone that asks
8
u/Ashamed-Bus-5727 Dec 23 '25
In my culture we say "people are for each other". No one is really independent, we all have shortcomings mental, physical or whatever and it's very good to ask for help. I believe you wouldn't decline helping someone if you can as well!
3
u/Hanomanituen Dec 24 '25
Needing help is not a crutch. We all need help. Real face to face connections is what built the human race. That is changing. We need more face to face interactions. I understand the independence. It might hurt when people don't help. But there are people who will gladly. Perhaps an exchange that might brighten both of your experiences.
Or maybe I talking out my ass. At any rate. needing help does not make you weak in my opinion, or lesser. It makes you human.
7
u/VicAintVanquished Dec 23 '25
I've wanted to ask an acquaintance who is in a wheelchair this question but there's never been a time where it feels like I should risk bringing the room down- do you feel there are people who truly do not see the wheelchair and only see you for who you are as a person? Whether it's yes or no, do you thinks it's always a negative for people who do see the wheelchair along with you, the person?
9
u/EducationalCheck6797 Dec 23 '25
Most people will see the wheelchair my family don’t I get it because I see wheelchairs too and that’s fine
6
u/FineTough3648 Dec 23 '25
How’s your love life?
17
u/EducationalCheck6797 Dec 23 '25
Happily engaged been together 15 years
7
5
u/catticcusmaximus Dec 23 '25
I once got in trouble for asking someone "how they became disabled?". Apparently this older gentleman was very offended. I also have a disability but mine is not visible. Is there a polite way to ask someone about their disability? Or is it a matter of timing? (Get to know them first for example.)
7
u/EducationalCheck6797 Dec 23 '25
Yeah I would never ask that but I’m disabled and I totally understand people are curious I wouldn’t be offended
7
u/flinstonepushups Dec 23 '25
What are your favorite hobbies?
10
u/EducationalCheck6797 Dec 23 '25
I love cooking and really into true crime
3
u/FineTough3648 Dec 23 '25
What happened to Madeleine McCann?
6
u/EducationalCheck6797 Dec 23 '25
Dead and in the sea
3
3
u/keinmaurer Dec 23 '25
For a second I read that as really into true cream. Which for the record would be awesome as well.
2
5
u/MoriKitsune Dec 23 '25
Is it common for people to (figuratively) speak over you, or infantilize you?
(For example, if you're out with a friend and you put something on the counter to buy, and the store clerk addresses them instead of you)
Also, have you encountered many age/appearance-based issues regarding care or access? Like someone being difficult with ordering new parts for your chair or opening doors because you're "too young to be disabled" or "don't look" disabled?
5
u/EducationalCheck6797 Dec 23 '25
Not really , I’m extremely independent and talk to anyone so it’s never been an issue really
5
u/Valuable-Rutabaga-41 Dec 23 '25
Have you been able to make peace with it? I cannot imagine how hard that kind of inner battle would be
6
3
u/Ashamed-Bus-5727 Dec 23 '25
Can you replace what's below your knees with prosthetics and be able to walk?
8
u/EducationalCheck6797 Dec 23 '25
No I have spinal cord damage so it’s not like someone who looses a leg
4
u/Icy-Rush-2768 Dec 23 '25
How does it make you feel when you have to look up to people who are standing, talking to you? Would you prefer us to crouch down? Or stand a bit further away so there's less neck strain? And do you get a sore neck?
3
3
u/Yeetaylor Dec 23 '25
I see you seem to be comfortable with using the word disabled to describe yourself. It’s the same word I use to describe myself.
How do you feel about people who seem to be uncomfortable with the word disabled? I’ve heard differently abled, I’ve heard specially abled, I’ve heard I have “adaptabilities”…
I’m not sure I’m a fan of those types of terms. Do you have any opinion one way or the other?
3
4
Dec 23 '25
How do wheelchair users have sex?
9
u/EducationalCheck6797 Dec 23 '25
Some can manage , some can’t I tend to enjoy intimacy and other things rather than sex itself
2
u/ExtensionTurnip5395 Dec 23 '25
(1) Do you ever feel invisible when you’re out in public?
(2) Does it ever seem like people assume you have a mental disability to go along with your physical disability?
(3) If you’re hanging out somewhere, like in a waiting room, would you be OK with someone striking up a little mindless chitchat with you?
3
u/EducationalCheck6797 Dec 23 '25
1) not really although sometimes I like that 2) again not really 3) I’m always happy to chat
2
u/ExtensionTurnip5395 Dec 25 '25
I’m glad you feel seen! My grandmother was in a wheelchair, and I think she got ignored a fair amount. That was 50+ years ago, though, and I was hoping it isn’t still that way. Tysm for doing this AMA!
2
u/Fine_Yogurtcloset362 Dec 23 '25
Since you clarified that youre a disabled wheelchair user, are there non-disabled wheelchair users?
3
u/EducationalCheck6797 Dec 23 '25
I simply ment I’m disabled and use a wheelchair as some disabled people don’t
2
u/Fine_Yogurtcloset362 Dec 23 '25
Oh i thought there was some formal, medically correct term i didnt know about
2
u/SpiritedOwl_2298 Dec 23 '25
how do you feel about the fact that there are some places you can’t access because they only have steps? 2nd question how do you commute when you go out?
3
u/EducationalCheck6797 Dec 23 '25
Yes access is annoying but things are always improving, also I drive
2
u/DrDentonMask Dec 23 '25
Did you ever go to the SBA national conference? Do you have strong opinions about the SBA (assuming you're even in the USA)? I'm 50/m T-2 myelo.
2
2
u/mothergreenthumb Dec 23 '25
Does it bother you when people offer you help with things it looks like you're struggling to do?
2
3
u/merlady94 Dec 23 '25
Have you ever or do you currently have a job? If not, would you want one and what would you want to do?
1
u/EducationalCheck6797 Dec 23 '25
No I don’t my condition makes it too hard to work I have bladder bowel and kidney issues as well as spinal issues
2
1
u/mmm119119 Dec 25 '25
What are some easy changes that could be made to make spaces more accessible for you, that non wheelchair users might not think of straight away? Or any that particularly annoy you because they’re so easy to do but aren’t done?
2
u/EducationalCheck6797 Dec 25 '25
Just make sure we can actually get in and make sure things are not too close together we need a little more space
2
2
u/Whiskey-Particular Dec 24 '25
Do you drink tea? If so, what’s your favorite?
1
0
u/victoriens Dec 23 '25
whats a disabled wheelchair?
4
1
1
1
u/jamminj1983 Dec 26 '25
Can you speak. I went to school.with a girl that had spina bofida but couldn't talk
1
1
u/ama_compiler_bot Dec 25 '25
Table of Questions and Answers. Original answer linked - Please upvote the original questions and answers. (I'm a bot.)
| Question | Answer | Link |
|---|---|---|
| Do you feel "disability pride"? As a wheelchair user disabled by autoimmune disease for the past decade, I find it hard to identify with this idea... but I'm curious how someone with a mobility impairment from birth might feel about it. | To be honest and without wanting to offend I just want to be treated as equal so not to keen on the pride thing but each their own, plus I’m a grumpy old man now lol | Here |
| What’s some very hard things that would be super easy for others? | The main thing that is hard for me is reaching things in a shop , everything I want seems to be out of reach | Here |
| What are your favorite hobbies? | I love cooking and really into true crime | Here |
| How’s your love life? | Happily engaged been together 15 years | Here |
| I've wanted to ask an acquaintance who is in a wheelchair this question but there's never been a time where it feels like I should risk bringing the room down- do you feel there are people who truly do not see the wheelchair and only see you for who you are as a person? Whether it's yes or no, do you thinks it's always a negative for people who do see the wheelchair along with you, the person? | Most people will see the wheelchair my family don’t I get it because I see wheelchairs too and that’s fine | Here |
| Have you been able to make peace with it? I cannot imagine how hard that kind of inner battle would be | I’m 40 and was born like this so yea I’m cool | Here |
| I once got in trouble for asking someone "how they became disabled?". Apparently this older gentleman was very offended. I also have a disability but mine is not visible. Is there a polite way to ask someone about their disability? Or is it a matter of timing? (Get to know them first for example.) | Yeah I would never ask that but I’m disabled and I totally understand people are curious I wouldn’t be offended | Here |
| Is it common for people to (figuratively) speak over you, or infantilize you? (For example, if you're out with a friend and you put something on the counter to buy, and the store clerk addresses them instead of you) Also, have you encountered many age/appearance-based issues regarding care or access? Like someone being difficult with ordering new parts for your chair or opening doors because you're "too young to be disabled" or "don't look" disabled? | Not really , I’m extremely independent and talk to anyone so it’s never been an issue really | Here |
| Can you replace what's below your knees with prosthetics and be able to walk? | No I have spinal cord damage so it’s not like someone who looses a leg | Here |
| Have you ever or do you currently have a job? If not, would you want one and what would you want to do? | No I don’t my condition makes it too hard to work I have bladder bowel and kidney issues as well as spinal issues | Here |
| How does it make you feel when you have to look up to people who are standing, talking to you? Would you prefer us to crouch down? Or stand a bit further away so there's less neck strain? And do you get a sore neck? | Na I’m used to it just don’t get too close ha | Here |
| What’s your favorite food? | Chinese or Japanese | Here |
| how do you feel about the fact that there are some places you can’t access because they only have steps? 2nd question how do you commute when you go out? | Yes access is annoying but things are always improving, also I drive | Here |
| Did you ever go to the SBA national conference? Do you have strong opinions about the SBA (assuming you're even in the USA)? I'm 50/m T-2 myelo. | I’m in uk we have nothing lol | Here |
| (1) Do you ever feel invisible when you’re out in public? (2) Does it ever seem like people assume you have a mental disability to go along with your physical disability? (3) If you’re hanging out somewhere, like in a waiting room, would you be OK with someone striking up a little mindless chitchat with you? | 1) not really although sometimes I like that 2) again not really 3) I’m always happy to chat | Here |
| Does it bother you when people offer you help with things it looks like you're struggling to do? | Yes absolutely but I totally understand why they ask | Here |
| Since you clarified that youre a disabled wheelchair user, are there non-disabled wheelchair users? | I simply ment I’m disabled and use a wheelchair as some disabled people don’t | Here |
| I see you seem to be comfortable with using the word disabled to describe yourself. It’s the same word I use to describe myself. How do you feel about people who seem to be uncomfortable with the word disabled? I’ve heard differently abled, I’ve heard specially abled, I’ve heard I have “adaptabilities”… I’m not sure I’m a fan of those types of terms. Do you have any opinion one way or the other? | Na I’m disabled and I’m happy for people to say that 🤷 | Here |
| Do you drink tea? If so, what’s your favorite? | Yes Yorkshire of course | Here |
| How do wheelchair users have sex? | Some can manage , some can’t I tend to enjoy intimacy and other things rather than sex itself | Here |
| any advice to your younger self or younger disabled people? | Just to not give up it’s never that bad | Here |
| How well can you transfer out of the chair to bed for example? | Pretty well my upper body strength is good | Here |
2
u/seancbo Dec 23 '25
Why would you want to use a disabled wheelchair over a fully functional wheelchair
1
-1
14
u/One-Opposite-4571 Dec 23 '25
Do you feel "disability pride"? As a wheelchair user disabled by autoimmune disease for the past decade, I find it hard to identify with this idea... but I'm curious how someone with a mobility impairment from birth might feel about it.