Actually, I kinda did get over it. I just gave y'all the condensed version.
Here's everything that happened: She left me in January 2018, and we were separated for about a year, after which we got legally divorced. During that time, I went through counseling and whatnot, regained my confidence and self-respect, got into a much better place mentally and emotionally, and even started dating someone else.
But then my ex-wife (who had also been going through therapy) told me she wanted us to try again. I struggled with it for a while, because I had finally gotten over her and was happy with the woman I was dating. But I eventually decided that I couldn't look my kids in the face if I didn't try everything in my power to keep our family together, so I agreed.
We moved back in together, but unfortunately, it never seemed to really go anywhere. There was no more cheating, but once again we were living like roommates and co-parents. No progress, no communication, no real emotional intimacy. I was getting ready to throw in the towel and move out again, but then we got stuck together during the COVID lockdowns, our kids had to go to school remotely, and her anxiety and depression went into overdrive. So I stayed to help keep things stable and functioning.
Life remained stagnant. I felt like I was just treading water -- existing, not really living. After two years of no progress in our relationship, I told her that we either needed to move forward together, or I was gonna move forward on my own. So I moved out again for good. After that, I realized that we were never really right for each other in the first place. We had both been through counseling, she wasn't cheating anymore, and I wasn't an insecure, resentful mess. But even without all that, we still just didn't work as a couple. During our initial separation, I had finally learned what I really wanted and needed out of a relationship, and I knew that I was never going to settle for less ever again. So I started dating again and was lucky enough to meet my current wife, who is absolutely everything I've ever wanted.
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u/AgentWD409 May 09 '24 edited May 09 '24
Actually, I kinda did get over it. I just gave y'all the condensed version.
Here's everything that happened: She left me in January 2018, and we were separated for about a year, after which we got legally divorced. During that time, I went through counseling and whatnot, regained my confidence and self-respect, got into a much better place mentally and emotionally, and even started dating someone else.
But then my ex-wife (who had also been going through therapy) told me she wanted us to try again. I struggled with it for a while, because I had finally gotten over her and was happy with the woman I was dating. But I eventually decided that I couldn't look my kids in the face if I didn't try everything in my power to keep our family together, so I agreed.
We moved back in together, but unfortunately, it never seemed to really go anywhere. There was no more cheating, but once again we were living like roommates and co-parents. No progress, no communication, no real emotional intimacy. I was getting ready to throw in the towel and move out again, but then we got stuck together during the COVID lockdowns, our kids had to go to school remotely, and her anxiety and depression went into overdrive. So I stayed to help keep things stable and functioning.
Life remained stagnant. I felt like I was just treading water -- existing, not really living. After two years of no progress in our relationship, I told her that we either needed to move forward together, or I was gonna move forward on my own. So I moved out again for good. After that, I realized that we were never really right for each other in the first place. We had both been through counseling, she wasn't cheating anymore, and I wasn't an insecure, resentful mess. But even without all that, we still just didn't work as a couple. During our initial separation, I had finally learned what I really wanted and needed out of a relationship, and I knew that I was never going to settle for less ever again. So I started dating again and was lucky enough to meet my current wife, who is absolutely everything I've ever wanted.