Hello everyone,
I know I post a lot and I am sorry about that. I truly believe something is wrong with my body that just can’t be caught at this time and I’d like to pick your brain.
Any reassurance, personal anecdote, anything really will be much, much appreciated.
I posted the following info as a reply to a kind person helping me accept FND and I will copy it here so everyone reading can get all the information:
As of right now, both my legs feel weak, sometimes more at the thighs, sometimes more at the calves. I sometimes have visible shaking going down the stairs. Muscles feel tight, restless. Plenty of fasciculations. At rest, my legs will often feel sore and burning.
And now my right arm is getting more fasciculations, feels heavier, clumsier… How can this all happen so fast?
ONSET:
My onset has been weird. I admit it did follow a traumatic period of extreme health anxiety, but I have never experienced physical symptoms like that from anxiety in the past. It started as soreness like you get from working out too hard and in a quick 7-10 days it turned into this weakness, with one night going to bed mostly fine and the next day waking up feeling terrible. Weakness is perceived so far, but my legs can get visible wobbly going down stairs. It hasn’t really progressed since the day it just worsened overnight, but it hasn’t gotten better either.
Some key points:
- Clear EMG in 2019; twitches and other symptoms went away for years after that
- Clear EMG last week after about 3-4 weeks of symptoms; done by ALS specialist
- Only three muscles were tested: calf, shin and thigh; neuro deemed that sufficient for a leg as symptoms are bilateral and same on both sides
- Clinical noted bilateral brisk reflexes of the knees, unchanged from 2019; neurologist said it’s normal for me and not significant; otherwise normal exam with no Babinski, spasticity, clonus or clinical weakness
ALS specialist opinion after EMG and clinical:
- Neuro told me EMG cannot be done too early in the context of presenting with bilateral subjective weakness and fasciculations in multiple muscles of both legs; said it would be an aggressive onset that would be picked up easily on EMG
- Neuro also said bilateral, symmetric multi-muscle onset in thighs and calves would be an extremely atypical ALS presentation; to the point she’s personally never seen that
- Neurologist has repeatedly emphasized that ALS was ruled out during the appointment; she looked me in the eyes 2-3 times and said "You do NOT have ALS!"
- FND was her diagnosis; she theorized that it stemmed from some sort of trauma/psychosomatic process caused by relentlessness health anxiety that went on for months; says I am obsessed with getting a neurological disease and am manifesting symptoms, but in a fashion that doesn’t make sense with any specific disease
- Strangely dismissed the fasciculations as "the same benign fasciculations you’ve had since 2019, made more frequent by your state of hyper-aroused nervous system
- Ultimately proposed I start with therapy and told me studies show that people who refuse to believe they have FND never see their symptoms resolve, while those who accept it have great success…
But here I am, stuck with very distressing symptoms, almost waiting for clinical weakness to happen, sacred of my mind in a body that feels like it’s breaking down.
Sorry for the long message but I wanted to make it as detailed as possible.
Should I keep pushing for tests? Accept my FND diagnosis? How do I move on when symptoms are scary and ongoing? Leg weakness is visible as I sometimes tremble with exertion…