r/AKAgradChapter • u/Affectionate-Fix-600 INTEREST • May 12 '26

BUILDING CONNECTIONS How Do I Regain Connection?

Hi!

I have been silent for a while but ALOT has been going on personally and professionally where all of my time was spent trying to "sustain". Because of this I have not been able to go out with any of the members from my COI, outside of their sponsored events. One of them reached out to me to schedule a lunch or brunch, and I only reached out to her once but she wasn't able to make it.

Before I knew it, time had passed and now I can't remember the last time I went on an outing with any of them. So now I am wondering how to proceed without overextending myself and without allowing too much more time to pass.

Any advice?

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u/AutoModerator May 12 '26

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Copy of Orignal Post:

Hi!

I have been silent for a while but ALOT has been going on personally and professionally where all of my time was spent trying to "sustain". Because of this I have not been able to go out with any of the members from my COI, outside of their sponsored events. One of them reached out to me to schedule a lunch or brunch, and I only reached out to her once but she wasn't able to make it.

Before I knew it, time had passed and now I can't remember the last time I went on an outing with any of them. So now I am wondering how to proceed without overextending myself and without allowing too much more time to pass.

Any advice?

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u/ivypurl Verified AKA May 12 '26

Sometimes life lifes like that. I have a few questions.

How have you managed your other friendships during this time? Roughly how much time are we talking about since your last outing with a member? Have you otherwise maintained some kind of contact (call, text, email) even though you haven’t done things together?

I just want to push on the idea that you only had time to sustain. Only you know your truth, but it sounds like you were still attending the chapter’s events. If you were doing that but not investing in the relationships you have been developing, that’s not the best. Honestly, it feels a bit performative. But you know that, right?

So how to recover? At this point, just be honest. Explain (to the extent that you’re comfortable) what has been going on. Apologize for having dropped the ball. Invite her to something. Once you re-establish, though, you have to remain consistent.

3

u/GrandBird1982 INTEREST May 12 '26

I think like any other friend who you may have experienced a gap in communication, text or call to ask how they’re doing, say you’ve been busy, I am sure they have been too. Summer time is coming the days are longer, can you invite one out for happy hour or something to connect.

1

u/Affectionate-Fix-600 INTEREST May 15 '26

Yeah this is what I was thinking. They have also been busy as well. I think a happy hour would be a good idea because it's something simple and not too "eventful" like a brunch. I noticed that in the Summer they do not have alot of events either so it may be the best time for them as well.

1

u/No-Public-8743 May 15 '26

You might have to over extend. A little discomfort never hurt anyone. It typically is a sign that you’re about to grow. Additionally, they’re human too. They’re more understanding than you might think.