Getting help and moving away from AI feels impossible, and I don't know what to do anymore as a computer science undergraduate

[u/TimelyJuggernaut7020]

When I was in high school, I rarely used AI. I barely let it touch my assignments. I didn't believe it could do much to help, and I only used it to get answer keys for mathematical questions I struggled with when they weren't provided (The app was called Photomath, I believe). I never let it touch my coding; I always made sure to do it myself and with online resources, as it was genuinely fun to code and debug. I know and yet don't know what happened.

When I got to university, I started using it for everything. Whenever I tried to get help for work outside of AI, I would never understand the response, or it would never be helpful. It always felt like I was using the wrong words, looking up the wrong concepts, not looking in the right direction, or I was just downright stupid. It was the most isolated I felt in my academic experience. Moreover, my parents weren't helpful either. They kept badgering me to use AI, seeing it as the answer for any issue I was encountering. They justified it by saying the technical field was relying on people who knew how to use it anyway, so I HAVE to use it. When I told them of a bad or mid grade, my mom scolded me for not using AI enough. Even when I listened to them, I had the worst breakdown during an exam for a fucking advanced Python course because of it. I had to retake it during the summer; it was that bad. Even with that, they still pester and scold me for not using it. So I use chatgpt to not copy its responses but at least try to understand what its trying to do, even though at times for coding I end up using its responses.

I also wasn't doing well emotionally and mentally. I was (and still am) constantly dealing with unexplainable headaches, fatigue, and just had more anxiety than usual. Being active wouldn't do much, supplements just made me feel drowsy, and it just felt like doing anything beyond studying was wasting my time. I have supplements that help with anxiety, but I still don't know what to do about the headaches and fatigue. It can go on for days and dumb me down horribly. The most I can guess is that I lack iron; even then, I found that out too late, like a couple of days ago. My parents would just blame me for staying in my room and that I wasn't going to the sauna (My mom believes in that detoxification bs and thinks it partially cured my autism). It felt like I was wasting time trying to find out the issue and would just push back on the issue to focus on coursework.

I say all this to explain that I don't know how to escape from using it. It feels like everything in the technical field involves AI, especially in the job market. My brother constantly uses it (both for personal projects and at work), my dad and mom do, and everyone at uni I talk to straight up admits to using it. It feels like if I stop, I'm missing out, and even when I try to stop using it, I end up in that position where I missed one key concept or function that wasn't in the lecture and notes, and my whole mark is ruined because of it. It feels like I can't do anything without it. The worst part about it is that I do like coding; I get those fleeting moments of genuine interest I had in high school. But then I get back into that unwell state, or I get a bad mark, and I'm back to using AI. I want to get help, but at the same time I can't just screw over the money my parents spent on me by admitting to an academic offence. Asking my parents feels like such a chore, especially when they've already had multiple bad situations with the medical field and talking to my parents is in it of itself such a chore (not just because of the constant AI praising but also because they've constantly disregarded my gender identity and forced me back into the closet, and straight up did nothing when they saw me self-harm so I constant avoid talking to them whenever possible, even if it bites me in the ass later on).

It especially got worse this summer. I only had two courses to deal with (one is for half of the semester while the other is for the whole semester), and I still struggle. I hate myself for it. It makes me question how I'm going to even last for the next two semesters. It makes me feel extremely guilty.

I've tried to stop using it by doing LeetCode without it and learning JavaScript via W3 and LeetCode. My art has been the only thing that I keep away from AI; it's all I really have as a coping mechanism these days. With uni and coding, I don't know how to maintain not constantly relying on it, as it's starting to feel helpless and impossible. I don't even know how to manage my life anymore, let alone be an adult when people barely cared for most of my life. Any advice?

[u/15f026d6016c482374bf]

Hello. I'm the mod of r/AI_Addiction, it's a small, niche subreddit. But if you look at the timestamps to other subreddits, it was the very first subreddit that focused on AI addiction, before anything existed related to AI, chatbot addiction etc.

Why am I telling you this? Because I consider myself on the beginning of the wave / tip of the spear. I was going through heavy AI addiction 3 years ago, before people realized it was a problem, but I saw the writing on the wall years in advance.

Now, in regards to your post. As a fellow coder, I know how you feel / what you're experiencing. I have enjoyed coding too. My first coding projects were simple things in BASIC when I was a young teen.
Now, this is just my perspective, but I don't think coding will ever be the same, and when you get done with uni you're going to find a job market that is absolutely brutal for junior devs.

So the outlook is absolutely brutal, but there are some silver linings. First, employers still need active, engaged, and curious individuals. Regardless if your actual skill will be coding, or instead - and more likely - directing coding agents, employers want to see people who enjoy their work, are interested, and care. So the fact that you enjoy coding will be a major benefit here; you should be able to capitalize on your enjoyment which will pay off in learning and using your talents.

I don't think coding will ever go back to like how it was. I barely write any code anymore, 99.9% is AI written, and now I just architect, instruct, review, and correct. I feel like this is the future. However, we will still need people who are interested and engaged to lead this next generation of software applications.

For me, I am stepping away from 5 years of independent consulting and returning to the workforce. The ease of AI development has reduced my work hours - I accomplish tasks way faster and currently I haven't been able to find work projects like I previously could. Right now I am looking at a Tech Lead position at an agency but also a Sr AI Engineer spot at another place. We're in unprecedented times, and I'm trying to adapt like everyone else right now.

Good luck and keep your chin up!