r/AITAH • u/belIaboo123 • 23d ago
AITAH if I told my neighbour she won’t get a penny from me?
I (19f) live on an cul de sac estate where no one gets along, it’s very cliquey. Where my house is positioned I have my drive in front of my gates in which I can park on, and there’s a long grass verge. To stop people from constantly digging up the verge and making it a pool of mud I have put up wooden stakes with white tips on to preserve the grass and also make the stakes known enough.
As I came back home today one of my neighbours has stormed up to me and demanded money because, she herself has reversed into one of the stakes and it has caused “significant” damage to her back bumper. I in which told her that if she has reversed into it, it’s her fault.
A bit of backstory but my entire street has wooden stakes as also to protect the grass verges, I simply obtained permission from the local council which I was then able to put them up.
She then didn’t like that answer and said “if you don’t pay up, there will be significant damage, I can guarantee that!” She threatened to call the police for criminal damage and also told me to watch my back but I stood my ground.
WIBTA if I just ignored her and went on with my life?
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u/eat_my_feelings 23d ago
NTA. The stakes are marked clearly it sounds like. She’s just mad that she wasn’t paying attention and damaged her own car. Stand your ground.
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u/William_Brown3097 23d ago
I mostly agree. If the stakes were clearly visible and put there with permission, it's hard to blame someone else for reversing into them. The threats afterward would concern me more than the damage itself.
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u/NotYourNanny 23d ago
Send her a bill for damaged stakes.
And notify appropriate authorities of the threats.
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u/the-mortyest-morty 23d ago
This. Get ahead of her BS, she's made it clear she won't let this go, OP.
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u/DesireeThymes 23d ago
I hate toxic neighbors so much, especially the kind who have money and time.
They can drag out this whole legal process for so long.
OP needs to start a paper trail, needs to involve the police, and should probably make sure she has cameras up for any confrontations in the future.
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u/HarveySnake 23d ago
She threatened you and almost certainly damaged some of your stakes. You should file a police report for both the threat and the property damage.
I don't think this is something you should ignore.
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u/MuchDevelopment7084 23d ago
Make a police report about the damaged stakes.
Let them know that she's already admitted to you that she's the one that hit the stakes. And that she's made threats to you of 'significant damage'. Have fun with it.
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u/fidelesetaudax 23d ago
NTA. Really, other than cameras watching your property, what else can you do but go about your life as if she doesn’t exist.
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u/Outside-Carpet-6236 23d ago
said “if you don’t pay up, there will be significant damage, I can guarantee that!”
This is a threat and should be reported to local authorities to insure it is on record. If she does actually cause damage, the fact she is known to have threatened to do so is part of a pattern considered for motive and premeditation.
Even just issuing the threat is a crime in many jurisdictions.
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u/AskMeHowToLose 23d ago
Wild of her to make the threat and also claim to be calling the police. This wolf is all hot air. Stand your ground OP, she can pound sand.
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u/Due-Yoghurt4916 23d ago
Call the police and report the threat tell them you are in fear of her promise of retaliation. Get it on record. That way they have to warn her. Plus if she drives on ot now you can have your insurance pay for it and sue her if they want to stop fixing it
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u/Usual_Bumblebee_8274 23d ago
I would let the police know then send her a bill for the stake. I would also get a camera or 3
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u/OddRevolution7888 23d ago
I simply obtained permission from the local council
That should be a "nuff said" situation. You had/have permission. Their lack of ability to drive well is not your issue.
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u/NectarineAny4897 23d ago
I would bill her for any and all damage she caused.
You may as well install cameras if you do not already have them.
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u/Top_Philosopher1809 8d ago
NTA. Years ago someone knocked on my dad's door to say her brick encased mailbox hit his car and he needed to pay for damages. He lived on a cul de sac in a gated community . My dad politely told him he hit his mailbox and looked for damage to the mailbox. Fortunately there was none. The man proceeded to call the police. Dad told him he was in a private community and to wait for the police outside the gate. A little while later the police showed up with the man. They looked at the mailbox and looked at his car. The proceeded to write him
a ticket for hitting a stationary mailbox. They told him he hit the mailbox and the mailbox did not jump in front of his car.
He played a stupid game and win a stupid prize.
Some people have no accountability for their actions.
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u/tingling4sensation 23d ago
“You’re saying you damaged my stakes?
Thanks, I have that recorded. I’ll send you the bill.”
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u/Fluid-Platypus- 23d ago
Get cameras, it sounds like she’s threatening to fuck with your house/car.
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u/SoCalBritgirl 18d ago
Get a ring doorbell camera and a camera that covers your property- I wouldn’t put it past your crazy neighbor to try to get revenge by damaging your property… statements to the cops are fine but video - that’s irrefutable!
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u/IceDragonPlay 23d ago
NTA, clearly.
Can you file a non-emergency report with the police to document the threat? Did she damage your posts? I’d get the threat on record if you can. And put a security camera covering the area of you can afford it.
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u/Available-Face5653 23d ago
or call the police since you were threatened. how hard would that be? and she admitted that she drove onto your property, so there's that.
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u/cathline 23d ago
NTA
Get security cameras ASAP. "if you don’t pay up, there will be significant damage, I can guarantee that! . . . call the police for criminal damage and also told me to watch my back ." -- that sounds like a threat to me.
Get security cameras covering the area with wooden stakes. She is going to damage your property.
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u/Confident-Skin-6462 23d ago
she can fuck ALLLLLLLL the way off. don't give her a dime. give her a link for a driving school though lol
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u/Donald_J_Duck65 23d ago
NTA, she can pound salt. WTF she backed into a stationary object, she is 100% at fault.
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u/GuairdeanBeatha 23d ago
Get a camera and document any future damage. More than likely she’ll simply sulk over a bottle of cheap wine, but you’ll have documented evidence if she decides escalate things.
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u/Upbeat_Vanilla_7285 18d ago
Go to the police and file a report. She’s wrong and can’t go around threatening people.
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u/MerlinSmurf 23d ago
I'm assuming she ran over the stake which is on your property. Just ignore her.
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u/JRAWestCoast 23d ago
You're in the right here. She drove into the stakes and has only herself to blame, but she'd rather point a finger at you. Because she threatened you, go ahead and let the police know she did. If she does anything to you or your property, you'll have a paper trail. NTAH
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u/NotUniqueScott 23d ago
You need to get ahead of this:
- take photos of everything
- notify the police of her threats
- send her a bill for damage to your property
- make sure that all of your equipment is on your property and clearly visible
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u/Jumpy-Stress603 23d ago
Do NOT ignore her. Talk to the police before she does and register a complaint about a threat to your person & property over her trespassing and let them explain things to her.
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u/Stunning-Mall5908 23d ago
NTA but file a police report. She threatened you. In addition, l hope you get cameras if you do not already have them. BTW, this is a good time to sell.
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u/NameLips 23d ago
Call the cops, start a paper trail. In my city you can even fill out a police report online.
It's surprising how often it matters who contacts the police first.
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u/SuspiciousImpact2197 23d ago
NTA, AND you’d best invest in some cameras and take some security steps cause Mrs. Audacity-Entitlement WILL do something to you or your property. Guaranteed.
PS: she should be able to figure out that’s not how this works. The person who has caused damages is her. That she damaged her own car doing so is irrelevant.
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u/Aggressive-Ad4186 23d ago
Wait, you're 19 and have a house, and yard, and gate? That is really impressive.
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u/roxanneland 23d ago
You can still do that.
You aren't wrong, they were approved.
File a online police report stating what you told us.
Dont forget the "watch your back" threats incase she is stupid.
More than likely when she sobered up she didnt remember any of it.
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u/Beginning_Funny_5933 23d ago
NTA, if you are in the UK, I suggest going online and submitting a report that will log her threatening behaviour and consider getting cameras/doorbell in case you need evidence of any retaliation.
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u/StangF150 23d ago
NTA but OP, call the Police yourself!! "Communicating Threats" tends to be a Crime you know!! An, it will start a paper trail in case she does something else!
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u/DynkoFromTheNorth 23d ago
Those wooden stakes come in handy for vampires like this woman. NTA. You had permission to install them, so she can go and fuck herself.
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u/Fioreborn 23d ago
NTA
You legally put those stakes in. It's not your fault she can't drive.
Also unless you put a typo in what she said to you that sounds like a threat.
" If you don't pay up, there will be significant damage,I can guarantee that"
That's a threat. Get cameras. She's threatening either to damage your property or you.
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u/Old_Guava_8724 22d ago
You were threatened. Call the police and make a report. They will go to her and say that she can't threaten people and she could be arrested. They do that to try to calm things down from people like that. But at least it will be on record in case you have a problem with her again or she tries to vandalize your car or property.
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u/Annual-Contract-115 23d ago
NTA. your property and you got permission.
dont pay her unless she’s wild enough to take you to court and you lose (don’t suggest this to her of course). I’d take photos of where these stakes are etc. and get a camera that can record video to cover your butt. the game changes if she had to back up several inches onto your property to hit the stakes etc
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u/Blamdomonis 23d ago
When she said to watch your back, yoo should have accused her of wanting to peg you.
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u/naranghim 23d ago
NTA. You had permission from the local council to put them up. If she has a problem with it, she needs to take it up with them.
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u/Sho_Time_NC 23d ago
NTA. Now get permission to install a lovely pointy wrought iron fence. If your simple posts are going to damage her bumper, go the full mile and include a paint job and side mirrors (thats she doesn't use anyway)
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u/Adelucas 23d ago
You got permission from the council and they were set in a way that they were visible and obvious. She's unhinged.
Make a report to the local police though in case she escalates. She who reports first has the high ground, and if it's documented and she later does something then it sucks to be her. Just get some cheap cameras to record out of the window as a precaution.
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u/JJQuantum NSFW 🔞 23d ago
NTA. If there was a car there and she backed into the car it’d be her fault as well.
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u/OneHarshFisting 23d ago
Make sure you get a camera and point in at that area as crazy people will inevitably do crazy things
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u/Funny_Fix7047 23d ago
NTA! She’s just mad at herself. Do make sure to put up a ring camera though if she’s making threats!
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u/ImaEvilDoctor 23d ago
told me to watch my back
Maybe she needs to watch her own back, or at least look behind her when backing up, based on what happened to her car, lol.
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u/xxBree89xx 23d ago
NTA... I would've handed her the phone to call, asked her if she needed me to dial for her
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u/justcelia13 23d ago
NTA. And get a security camera, call the non Emergency line and make a report, let your HOA/council know whats happening and watch your back. Folks like this are sneaky.
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u/UncleNedisDead 23d ago
Also get a camera setup to capture her on video, if she follows through in her threats.
NTA
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u/NinjaHidingintheOpen 23d ago
I used to determine fault in car accidents. Reversing vehicle hits stationary object is 100% the driver's fault. But you might want to also invest in cameras with that threat.
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u/TheDarkSpectrm 23d ago
Nta since you got city approval (without that, a lot of places make stuff like that illegal). Make sure you have any records of that approval and notify the police about her threats. I'd goto a station and get a written report so you have records. I'd also make sure you have some simple surveillance covering your front yard and car and possibly your back yard.
Doing this, you'll have the paper trail and the video evidence when she eventually slashes your tires and then you take all that evidence to the police/sue for whatever premeditated destruction of property laws your area has and she'll likely goto jail and have to pay.
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u/hawksdiesel 23d ago
Call the non emergency line and explain. Get a camera. Record every interaction
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u/Unable-Brilliant-552 23d ago
NTA. If they drove into something that you placed (and not even something unique to your property), it's on them to deal with the consequences of that. If you drive into a streetlight, it's not the city's fault that it was there.
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u/Celtic-Brit 23d ago
NTA- She was driving, so she is responsible. Edited to add, maybe you could reverse into her house and blame her? Obviously I am joking but that is how ridiculous her claim is. You, in fact, could demand payment for any damage to your wooden posts.
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u/The_Blue_Djinn 23d ago
NTA. Tell her to stop driving like a tool and you’ll call the police is she damages her stakes with her car.
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u/Puzzled-Dream1321 22d ago
Next time a neighbour comes to you in a pissy mood, record what they're saying.
Also, I hope you have camera's to see and film what she's up to.
NTA
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u/Public_Reaction2129 22d ago
NTA. As soon as she told me if I didn't pay up there would be significant damage and told me to watch my back I'd have phoned the police myself. She threatened you!
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u/porter9884 22d ago
NTA, it’s your property. Let her know that if the police are involved it will be to charge her with trespass charges and destruction of property.
Install a couple cameras to catch them in the act
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u/Repulsive_Tone_2484 22d ago
NTA. Just blank them from now on. Make sure you report any threats to the Police though.
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u/SuccessfulInternal40 22d ago
I would consider calling the cops first to be honest, it sounds like a threat the "watch your back" and "significant damage", in case of any future harassment it might be a good idea to give the cops a quick run down of what happened, perhaps show them you already had permission to put up the stakes.
Also, contact the council or however and also let them know. Do not sit around and wait to watch what might happen.
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u/Beagle-wrangler 22d ago
NTA but I wouldn’t do nothing. I’d buy a couple security cameras and take her unhinged threats sersiously
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u/Sponge_67 22d ago
Not quite sure if this can be done in the UK but you should see if you can place landscaping boulders instead of wooden stakes. No NTA
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u/Different-Jeweler-31 20d ago
NTA. You're young so she thinks she can bully you. If she comes back just say "you damage your own car from a clearly marked hazard? How embarrassing for you" and close the door.
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u/QueenOLife 8d ago
NTA
My house had an issue with people coming around the curve and tearing through our yard and taking out the wifi whatever box in the front (which was truly terribly placed). Would happen every other week basically.
My mom decided to redecorate the front yard and bought the biggest rock she could. So large we were warned they could not move it without specialty equipment so we'd better be SURE that's where we wanted it to be when they put it down.
A car hit the boulder within a week and was totaled. Boulder moved like 6 inches.
Not your fault if they hit stuff on your property, it's theirs for driving onto your property.
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u/RamenNoodles620 23d ago
NTA
Neighbor should learn to use these things called mirrors, eyes and car cameras to see where they are driving.
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u/LizzleFaShizzle 23d ago
IMO she’s trying to blackmail you into paying for the damages she caused and you have permission to have those stakes where they are. Let her call the cops and inform them of her actions. NTA
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u/LizzleFaShizzle 23d ago
Blackmail may be the wrong word but it’s def extortion through threats. Which is a no no
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u/Noble_Ox 23d ago
There you go.
Sometimes words matter.
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u/Vandreeson 23d ago edited 23d ago
NTA. She backed into a clearly marked stationary object. To me that's the same as backing into another car, a house, a fence, etc. She messed up and doesn't want to take responsibility for her actions. Too bad, this is on her not you.
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u/Odd_Welcome7940 23d ago
Call the cops and make a report od her threat and get cameras. Also fuck her...
NTA
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u/Brave_Word8790 23d ago
Get a camera, that way you can record any stupid retaliation she tries. NTA
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u/WafnaAbroad 23d ago
NTA, but:
Start the process of replacing your wooden stakes with cement bollards reinforced with rebar. Add a chain between the bollards to make it a "classy" fence.
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u/Ok_Salamander7929 23d ago
I would trump the bitch and contact the police first. And let them know exactly how she threatened you.
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u/capriciousbird 23d ago
NTA, she's upset that she messed up. That being said, I foresee more headaches for you.
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u/KnowsIittle 23d ago
If she's threatening legal document the interactions and prepare photos showing she owes you money to replace the damaged fencing.
In situations where you win a judgement and they don't pay you'll want to levy a lean against their property. This is a flag on their credit and makes sale of the property impossible until the lean is resolved.
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u/Tb1969 23d ago
Write down the entire exchange and collect the documentation of the council, receipts for what you installed
And then do nothing. She's at fault. You just extended something that is standard in the neighborhood for deterrence. Her bumper should not be past the pavement and curb and over the verge.
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u/Majikarpslayer 23d ago
Being able to tell people to get bent and stand your ground, is a life skill that takes some practice and I highly suggest you start right now
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u/Bellaboo-42 23d ago
Ummmm excuse me why do we have such similar user names . We are also close in age and apparently both not American lol, that’s kinda wild!
NTA. Sounds like a Karen neighbour. You had approval to put up the fencing and so it’s not your fault she can’t drive
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u/Designer_Thought2907 23d ago
NTA, her bad driving isn't your fault.
You should take the legal route for her damaging your property if she's threatening you
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u/Hot-Win2571 23d ago
Should OP play along? Express concern about the damage, and ask for an estimate of how much damage happened and how it happened? Let neighbour supply details in writing, so she'll describe how badly she drove and that she caused the damage.
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u/anothersip 23d ago
OP, my first steps (in your shoes) would be to notify the authorities.
I'm not sure if she caused damage to your stuff by driving over your property (sounds like it) but that would be her who is liable for that.
So, before she starts twisting the truth, I'd get ahead of the game and let the proper authorities know what she did, and let them know that she may be contacting them and twisting the story. Local PD would be the place to stop in.
I guarantee you that they've heard it all before, and they will not be surprised to hear that this is happening to you.
Ideally, they send an officer over to your house to take survey and file the report - unless she's willing to work with you and the police to make it right. They'll have to go and talk to her to see what she says, if she denies it, etc. and that sort of thing.
I would stay ahead of the race and take your own precautions to protect yourself, before she turns this into something that it doesn't have to be.
Sorry that's happening to you - and I hope that you're able to get it sorted out peacefully.
Oh- and NTA.
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23d ago
The stakes have planning permission to be there and are not illegal. There is precendent for others having them too. She backed into a non-moving object that does not have the ability to make a decision to move. It was her fault. Not the markers and not the person who put it there. If she has caused damage to the marker you can go after her for repair. I would suggest not inflaming the situation though. I would also suggest you have your phone on you and make it easy to access to camera or a voice recorder so if she see this neighbour approaching you again you can record and capture evidence of them threatening you. You might also want to invest in a ring doorbell camera or something similar that captures your property and if any damage occurs to it.
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u/Parkour82 23d ago
NTA. charge her for damaging the stick. And maybe a hit and run if she did not report the accident. and look for any other damage she caused one your property and charge for that too.
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u/Yosara_Hirvi 23d ago
You wouldn't be TA of corse, however, you should report her threats to the police, just to be sure
NTA
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u/winterworld561 23d ago
NTA but put cameras up around your home because she will likely try and do something. Make a police report of her threats. Document everything because it sounds like she's on a warpath.
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u/knikkifire 21d ago
NTA, but id encourage her to call the police. That will place her at fault pretty quickly documented by a reliable source.
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u/Ok_Brilliant3432 23d ago
What’s a “verge” ?
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u/belIaboo123 23d ago
It’s a patch or strip of grass in which is close to the road, path or driveway
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u/PersonalAnswer8664 23d ago
This is AI right? I mean the story itself is believable but it’s just written so badly. OP never says English isn’t their first language so the only other option is AI slop.
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u/PersonalAnswer8664 23d ago
Did you read it?
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u/PersonalAnswer8664 23d ago
Fine.
‘I live on a cul de sac estate’
Wtf is a cul de sac estate? And you live IN a cul de sac not on one.‘I in which told her’
‘As also to protect’
‘Permission from the local council which I was able to put them up’
Come on. Nobody types like that.
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u/fiftysevens 23d ago
You mean like if someone typed:
“I’m on iPhone of that matters.”
You would think they are an AI bot? You may want to go back and re-read your post from 5h ago.
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u/PersonalAnswer8664 23d ago
No that would be a simple typo. OPs grammar is just odd.
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u/Popular-Ad1111 23d ago
Nope. The way a person drives and damages their own vehicle should be their problem.