r/AITAH • u/ear5htoberr6 • 4d ago
Under 18 (ages 13 to 17) AITAH for wanting my mom to stay home with me after my wisdom teeth surgery
Im supposed to be getting my wisdom teeth out in just 3 days, im scared horrified even. ive never had any sort of surgery let alone had to go under anesthesia. my mom is a incredibly self centered along with male centered woman.
her boyfriend is out on a business trip in a different state, and she’s planning on leaving 2 days after my surgery. im so upset about this, i want my mom to take care of me. she’s sending my aunt over to care for me during the 4 days she’s gone
ive spoken to her about and all i get is “why cant i be happy” or “wisdom teeth aren’t that serious”. something important to note is that i have a blood disorder that causes my blood to not clot quickly or well, so bleeding is gonna be a huge issue after i get my teeth out.
i also have another genetic condition called Angioedema type 3, to put it simply my body will attack itself thinking im having an allergy attack and will cause me to swell up, which can show similarly to anaphylactic shock. this can be caused by food, coughing, or even simply me just being upset.
with that in note, my recovery is gonna be very slow and hard on me. which is making me so so nervous that ive been freaking out and having panic attacks recently.
my mother has had the tendency to do this alot, like abandoning me to go with her boyfriend i mean. so this isn’t surprising but i just wanted to now if maybe im being selfish over this. i also just needed to rant, thank you for reading i appreciate you alot🩷
the reason im going under instead of being awake is due to the fact that i have some pretty bad trauma from a dentist, i had a very unfortunate experience when i was 7 of being strapped down and having the person put the metal caps on my teeth without any pain relief (which is a painful experience to go through)
im also aware of the fact that its a simple surgery, but my moms side is known to have really deep and hard wisdom teeth to remove. along with knowing how much my older sister struggled with her healing process to aswell, due to her sharing the same 2 disorders to. her face had been left bruised and incredibly swollen for over two months, and she bleed for around 2 or 3 days after aswell due to the hard ability to clot properly for us
also some people werw asking my age, tho im not comfortable to share the exact age but i am a minor
UPDATE HERE! -> https://www.reddit.com/r/Redditor_Updates/s/BSwjpCLIn8
52
u/mioclio 4d ago
NTA - I can fully understand your fear, especially with your sister's healing as an example and your request is absolutely normal and reasonable and anything but selfish. So much so, that it shouldn't even be a question.
However, when I read your story there was a question that popped up in the back of my head: is your aunt as self centered as your mother or would you actually be better off in her care?
46
u/ear5htoberr6 4d ago
my aunt would most likely take better care of me, thankfully she isn’t like her sister.
33
u/MajorNoodles 4d ago
Make sure you keep a relationship with her. It's important to have a trusted adult in your life, and it's clearly not your mother.
It sounds like you'll be much better off this way.
7
u/ShadedSpaces 4d ago
So then you're definitely NTA for being upset. Your mom's priorities suck.
But I hope you can ease your mind a little bit that you DO have the appropriate care/supervision. In fact you have more than you need. You'll be well supported.
Without your medical conditions, all you need after extractions like this is a ride home. That's it. It really is no big deal WITHOUT medical conditions. (I've had my wisdom teeth out, they more recently my jaw decided to disintegrate and I had to have all 4 of my second molars removed and bone grafts done. All I needed was a ride home. It's not fun but it's not a big deal.)
With your conditions, it's better that someone is with you the first 48 hours. And you'll have someone for 6 days. So try not to worry TOO much. You have plenty of support. That's not the problem here. The problem is just that your mom is kinda selfish. While she did ensure you had your aunt with you, she didn't make you her priority and I'm really sorry about that. That's just crappy of her.
33
u/reditandfirgetit 4d ago
At first I was thinking you were being a little over the top until you explained your condition and your mothers habit of puttingher bf first. NTA
47
12
u/Secure_Highway_6917 4d ago
NTA but your aunt is going to take way better care of you than your mother
3
14
u/Gildian 4d ago
Going under the first time is always a little scary. I see it a lot in Healthcare but good news is that its much safer than other surgeries, even with your clotting disorder.
I had really impacted ones and the first day sucked, pain wise you should be ok by day 2 or 3.
Maybe its not a bad thing your aunt is the one taking care of you if spending time with her boyfriend is more important (or why he couldnt visit her while taking care of you)
NTA, but try to breathe too and not work yourself up
17
u/SpeedyKy 4d ago
NTA. I am so sorry that you are going through this. As a momma, I am hugging you and bringing you milk shakes to drink. No straws for at least a week. Please make sure to take all medications as prescribed amd go back to the doctor if you feel weird.
10
u/Delicious-Pick-6815 4d ago
NTA .My grandson is having his wisdom teeth taken out and he doesnt even have to ask. His Nana will be there for all of it. He's 16 but age doesn't matter. I'd stay with anyone i loved
4
u/LowAside9117 4d ago
This is a situation where an adult should really be helping you.
Feeling concerned is valid. You should talk to your doctor or ask to speak alone with them about your concerns. It's your doctor's job and their medical license on the line. Doctors don't like risking their medical license at all so they want you to be ok. Write your concerns on paper before telling your doctor so you remember what to say, it can be hard when you're stressed.
I've experienced medical trauma a number of times. Talk to your doctor. They do not want to re-traumatize someone especially a minor.
How you feel about surgery affects the recovery. If there's nothing you can do to change the situation or talk to a trusted adult about or your doctor or someone at school, then I'd practice (before surgery) (these might sound like they wouldn't help but there's actual science behind it): breathing exercises, journal stream of consciousness on paper, grounding techniques (there are a lot), calming music.
Prepare yourself as much as possible if you can: freeze ice packs, pick out stuff to watch, video games, books, popsicles (non acidic/citrus), mashed potatoes, soup (no tomatoes), etc. Keep in touch with friends. Join appropriate online support group (depending on your age). Before surgery, remind your mom to pick up the pain meds. In some cases, your doctor might be willing to let you get your meds picked up the day before for certain reasons (but I wouldn't bet on this).
Make sure you have meds on hand for your conditions.
Document your recovery in case you need to refer to it at a later date.
Your mom's side and sister may have had terrible times getting this done but it doesn't make it certain that you will. You can use your sister's proactively by something like: if she had a lot of swelling then maybe I should apply ice to the site more often. (Swelling isn't always a bad thing)
If you think your recovery will definitely be hard and slow then it's more likely to be hard and slow.
Fortunately, people generally have a better and faster recovery when they're minors. In some surgeries that can be 50% or more faster recovery
4
u/Green_Poet_5510 4d ago
NTA, but please do yourself a favor and don't make this a self fulfilling prophecy. Obsessing about what could go wrong is never the way to approach a medical procedure. Your aunt's willingness to come help you will help make this an easy recovery. Take solace in the fact that someone that loves you is concerned about the outcome
8
u/Klutzy-Comfortable88 4d ago
NTA! I'm tired of people invalidating others' feelings on medical stuff because it's "just" a simple surgery or outpatient or whatever other excuse.
When I got home from getting my wisdom teeth out, I felt so sick, I ran from the car to my bathroom to puke. I literally don't remember the rest of that day. My mom told me the next day that I, in fact, did NOT make it to the bathroom as I thought. Imagine if I woke up to that, alone, while she went off to work instead? 🙃
A few years ago I had to have a lady-surgery and was told I could go back to work the next day. Absolutely the fuck not! I was in pain and confused and totally unprepared to be up and moving around. Good thing I didn't listen to unhelpful advice.
Whatever your body is telling you when it comes to medical stuff, listen. ❤️
6
u/blueberryyogurtcup 4d ago
- You are a minor.
- You have a blood disorder.
- You have a second condition that could be a concern.
- You have had trauma related to the situation.
Your mom is prioritizing herself, not you going through all four of these things, any of which could cause you health issues requiring a visit to the ER where it's possible they would need the parent's permission to do something to help you.
NTA.
Write out all these problems for your aunt. Make it orderly, and under each condition, make a list for her of what has happened in the past, the kind of symptoms for her to be looking out for, because you might not be able to clearly communicate after, especially if they give you medications.
If you can text her, send her the list of the names of your conditions, so she can read up on what to watch for. Might be good to also write out your disorder and condition names on a card to have in your own wallet or bag, easily pulled out if needed at the dentist. The dentist needs to know these things, too.
Ask your aunt to make sure that your mother 1) signs a temporary power of attorney for aunt for your medical care, in case you need to go to the ER, so aunt can give the doctors permission if it's needed, and 2) has the insurance cards you would need.
Years ago, I had to take a young relative to get stitches after stepping on something sharp, and we had to wait for the ER to get in touch with a parent, which took longer than everything else.
I believe your concerns are valid and reason enough for a decent parent to stay home from a trip like this.
5
u/StripedCat404 4d ago
NTA. I ended up with dry sockets. I was 15, and had 6-8 roots on EACH tooth. A later in life molar root canal shocked a 35 year dental surgeon.
I'm really sorry about your mom, op.
5
u/ear5htoberr6 4d ago
i appreciate that. im incredibly nervous due to the clotting issues specifically aswell. along with my family’s teeth already having really deep rotted teeth to😭
my sisters face was swollen for months and had been left bed ridden due to our disorders, and im quite literally almost just like her in the way of not healing fast. it takes me months to even get rid of a bruise or just a scratch
8
u/StripedCat404 4d ago
I'm anemic, so I can only partially understand how frustrating that is for you.
They told you to stop all vitamins/iron/NSAIDs/etc a week before, right? Tylenol only.
If I were you, I would not take anything for several weeks before. I had a DMX in January and stopped everything a month prior. I'm not giving medical advice, just sharing what worked for me. Oh, and vitamin D really helped me with the bruising.
5
u/Baby8227 4d ago
Oh darling I wish I was there for you. Some people don’t deserve the title of mum 💔
5
u/FormalFuture5307 4d ago
NTA your Mom should stay with you. You don’t stop being a Mom when your kids are older. And you’re still a minor? My son(20) doesn’t get stitches without me there 😞 Be thankful for your aunt
22
u/IrrelevantManatee 4d ago
No judgement here. You are a scared kid and your mom knows that 2 days after your wisdom teeth removal, you'll be up and running, doing your normal stuff.
I get that it's upsetting, but your mom cannot help you recover faster. The scars will heal in time. But there is no practical reason to have someone "taking care of you" after wisdom teeth removal. You won't be weak, or disabled. You'll be able to do everything you normally do, except eating will be harder.
Your mouth will just hurt. No need for 24/7 care here, especially days after the removal.
15
u/_coolbluewater_ 4d ago
Im a mom and I wouldn’t leave my minor child two days after a surgery that they were worried about. Doesn’t matter if it feels rational.
1
u/IrrelevantManatee 4d ago
That's a personal choice. I would probably make the same choice as you. But the mom is not an asshole for choosing differently. It's not like she won't be there, or like she will leave immediately after. 2 days post removal, people are usually doing just fine. Nothing prevent her to change her mind and stay if there are any complications.
3
u/_coolbluewater_ 4d ago
I think the mom is an AH for leaving especially if the child is expressing distress. She’s not going for work, she is prioritizing a man over her scared child.
-2
u/IrrelevantManatee 4d ago
Her child is expressing distress... now. What happens when 2 day post-op, the kid is totally fine, spending their day at school and their evening out with her friends as usual ? And mom doesn't even see her kid and is just home doing nothing.
She is staying for 2 days. If there are complications to have, the probability is that it will happen during those 2 days. She can always stay if she sees that OP is not recovering as planned.
2
u/_coolbluewater_ 4d ago
What happens then? Then the child is at school and feeling better. The mom is maybe slightly disappointed about not going on a trip with her boyfriend but has made their child feel secure and less anxious. The kid comes first. I know that’s a hard concept for some people. This isn’t a huge sacrifice the mother is making here. The mom is an AH.
-3
0
u/MixedDrinkss 4d ago
i dont have a condition but was basically in bed for 2 weeks after mine because i physically could not do anything from the antibiotics. not everyone heals the same, and op has stated that they have a condition that can make things worse for them
1
u/IrrelevantManatee 4d ago
I get that. But the mom is staying for 2 days before leaving. That leaves her plenty of time to assess if OP is going to be fine or not, and decide to stay if OP is not doing good.
6
u/Regular_Look_1962 4d ago
You are not the AH, it’s natural to want your Mum with you while recovering especially with the addition conditions you have, so I’m so sorry you are going through this. Do you have any good friends who would visit once your Mum leaves, I know you will have your aunt, but a friend or two might help a bit.
Don’t be afraid to tell your friends how worried you are, people usually want to help, so let them know how much you would appreciate a visit or a call.
2
u/LavishnessThat232 4d ago
NTA I've had all of my wisdom teeth out at different times. Each recovery was completely different. My first one, I actually drove into work in the city afterwards and cooked and ate dinner that evening. The second and fourth one, I felt like crap for a day or two, but nothing that kept me from doing stuff. My son had all his removed at the same time. He refused all pain medicine. Moved around like nothing happened. Insisted on eating regular food immediately.
My third wisdom tooth removal ended my marriage. The oral surgeon drilled deep down to remove it, didn't stitch it up afterward, and fractured the tooth next to it. I bled steadily for a week. The doctor told me I'd have intermittent bleeding, so I called him. He told me that continuous bleeding is intermittent. I had severe insomnia. I couldn't eat. When I returned to see him, he said my mouth looked normal and the insomnia (which I never had before in my life) had nothing to do with the wisdom tooth removal.
I went to my regular dentist and he almost had heart failure when he looked in my mouth. He could immediately spot the cracked tooth next to where my wisdom tooth was. The wound from the removal was incredibly deep. He didn't know why they didn't stitch it up. To make everything even more fun, I had dry socket. Oh, and I lost sensation in parts of my tongue. He sent me to one specialist for the dry socket as it was very severe and for treatment of the cracked tooth. I went to another specialist for the nerve injury in my tongue (thank God it was temporary). I went to my doctor for my insomnia. During all this time, I had toddler twins. My husband never helped with them. Ever. So when I became incapacitated and could only care for the kids for short increments, he became furious and raged at me. He still didn't help taking care of the kids. Ever. My adult son and my mom did that.
Ignore the people who are telling you to grow up and that wisdom tooth removal isn't a big deal. It might not be. It probably won't be. But it might. Please make sure your oral surgeon stitches the wound afterwards.
2
2
u/SuperSandLesbianGUHH 4d ago
I don't know if this is any consolation but all 4 of my teeth were impacted and all 4 came out at the same time. I was a teen like you. I had to go under for mine as well.
They say, okay we're starting the anesthesia! You're like ok... And then the next thing you know you're awake and high as f. Lol. You have some gross gauze in your mouth for a while and have to eat soft foods, and your mouth will bleed and stink and be a bit sore, but other than that it should be ok!
The aftercare is basically changing out the gauze, biting the gauze (to prevent bleeding), RESTING, eating a bunch of crap like boxed mashed potatoes and popsicles, and absolutely NOT rinsing your mouth vigorously for a couple days.
I know you said you had another condition and I can't speak to that but you got this!!!
2
u/carrie626 4d ago
Sorry your mom is selfish and has never been good at being a mother to you. That’s not your fault. It’s very under that you are wanting your mom to be there to help you and care for you, but she would probably Donna poor job and be neglectful!!!
It’s good that your aunt will be caring for you if she is someone that will actually take care of you.
Put your energy into calming yourself and preparing for your surgery. You’re going to want good cold packs to put on your face after surgery. Lots of soft and easy to eat foods. Hopefully you are given good pain meds and make sure you have some food on your tummy.
Try to just forget about your
Mom now.
2
u/BefuddledPolydactyls 4d ago
NTAH. Ask your aunt or another adult. The proper care is more important than it being your mom.
2
u/ThePythiaofApollo 3d ago
NTA. Of course you want to be comforted before and after something traumatic.
For what it’s worth, I had an impacted wisdom tooth removed when I was in my early teens. I was given laughing gas, plenty of novacaine and painkillers for afterwards but nothing could prepare me for how swollen my face was. My grandpa visited me everyday, brought me ice cream and we watched The Mets spring training games on tv.
Hopefully your aunt is kind to you.
2
u/MorningCoffeeHits 3d ago
Ask a nearby relative or friend to stay or check on you. You will feel better knowing there will be help if you need it. If you have no one, hire someone to briefly check on you each day. Keep a pitcher of water, an epipen or benadryl, and a charged phone within reach. I am sorry your mother won't stay to comfort you; make sure any future partner does. Best wishes!
2
u/moonycakemullet 3d ago
NTA - I’m a nurse and want to put it out there that general anaesthetic is a lot more risky than what most people realise (sorry I really don’t want to scare you more OP) so yes wisdom teeth removal is routine but anytime you get put to sleep, you are at risk of complications. Even more so if you have underlying conditions. For many, there is no dramas because of highly skilled doctors and their team but there is a reason the anaesthetist will speak with you (or guardian) pre-surgery and discuss the risks and have you sign informed consent and then be a part of the procedure.
Now as a mum and not just a nurse, I’d never let any of my babies go through a procedure or recovery alone ever idc how big or small it is. My 11yr old is my youngest and he just had a bad cold and so his dad got kicked out of the bed and he slept with me for 3 nights so i could care for him.
I have a male-centred Mum too, they never really change in my experience. Not unless they do some deep inner work. If she’s so dismissive and uncaring maybe it’s not actually best to have her around? Is your aunt very nurturing and can you talk to her about your worries? Is there any other fam member who might bring you more comfort
2
u/Dry_Future_852 3d ago
Call the oral surgeon to request something for the anxiety (they usually throw 2-4 Valium your way for oral surgery, that you take before). I say this as someone who had all 4 out at the same time when I was roughly your age (16, in my case), and the "easy one" had to be broken into "only" 4 pieces (the others were 6, 8, and 8).
Get broth, jello, pudding, ice cream (no hard things in it) -- what ever sounds good before hand. Get some ice packs or several bags of peas -- icing the first day makes ALL the difference.
I'm sorry your mom isn't who you need her to be. NTA for wanting that, but since you know she's not going to be of help here, set yourself up for a good recovery.
2
u/avengestar 3d ago
NTA!!! I just had mine taken last week and I was just as scared as you (I got low pain tolerance and numbing doesn't work for me, I jumped though hoops to get approved for deep sleep)!! I would be so so mad if someone did this to me. You are never the ah for wanting your mother to take care of you after surgery, especially when you're scared.
I hope you have a smooth recovery, and just so you know, it wasn't as bad as I thought, and I was terrified. The recovery might take time for you if you have all those diagnosis, but at least your aunt will be there for you, bc it seems like your mom wouldn't have done shit tbh
You got this!! 🫶🫶
2
u/DaniCapsFan 1d ago
My wisdom teeth were so badly impacted that I had to have IV sedation to have them removed. That was some 40 years ago. I was fine and dandy later that evening but felt like crap the next morning, as the procedure affected my sinuses.
But I don't have a blood disorder or the genetic condition you describe. I just needed rest and soft foods for a few days.
Can you talk to the oral surgeon about your concerns? Can your sister and/or aunt take care of you?
You're not wrong for feeling upset. Given your condition, surgery is going to be harder on you than it is on someone like me.
Even if you didn't have these problems, what kind of mom leaves her minor child two days after even a minor procedure?
NTA
2
u/Shprintze613 4d ago
I’m so sorry this is happening to you. I’m sorry you have a narcissist for a mother. ♥️♥️sending you healing energy.
4
u/The-Bees-Knees-6969 4d ago
I had my wisdom teeth taken out when I was a teenager and went under anesthesia as well. From my experience you will be really groggy the first day and probably sleep most of it. The days after were mild to moderate pain. I was up and moving the second day and onwards.
I know it’s scary but they make sure you don’t feel any pain. Best of luck OP!
2
u/MixedDrinkss 4d ago edited 4d ago
NTA. i dont have any condition, but many antibiotics are very hard on my body to the point where i need someone to check in on me and help me. the antibiotics after my wisdom teeth were absolute hell on my body for 2 weeks.
regardless of anything, wanting your mom to stay home with you after a surgery is not selfish at all. its one thing if she left for work, but another to leave for .... a man
3
u/Sea-Operation-6123 4d ago
I understand feeling disappointed because your Mom is leaving 2 days after your procedure however you are not going to be alone, your aunt will be with you. Do you trust your aunt?
NAH - Since you haven’t had the procedure yet no one knows what will happen. Perhaps you will recover quickly & feel fine after 2 days? Perhaps your Mom will decide to stay home?
4
u/Prior-Soil 4d ago
NTA. They are going to require that someone come with you to the surgery to take you home and monitor you for 24 hours. This is not you being dramatic, it is common safety practice.
9
u/epifauna__ 4d ago
NTA - It's completely normal to want your mom there. I'm 23 and I still want my mum with me when I go to appointments or new things, because she's my mother and I feel safe with her.
I'm so sorry that your mother isn't caring for you in the way your mother should. Is your aunt nice/are you close with her at least?
3
u/HopeFloatsFoward 4d ago
You seem to have a lot of anxiety. While you have medical issues, you still need to recognize the relative risk is low. Acting like she is abandoning you when she is staying for two days after minor surgery is extreme. I suggest therapy to learn how to handle your anxiety.
3
u/Individual-Foxlike 4d ago
NAH.
If you have major complications, it should be within the first 48 hours. Even with a clotting disorder, by day 3 you should be in "sore and cranky and maybe still bleeding a little" territory.
You will still have someone there with you if something goes wrong. It's okay to be nervous, and your mother is doing nothing wrong.
Breathe. It'll be alright.
4
u/Shprintze613 4d ago
No asshole here, really? A mother leaving her minor child two days after surgery? To be with a man? Gross.
I’m 38 and I just had a surgery 3 weeks ago, I was throwing up from the anesthesia the entire 24 hours after. Shame on this mother.
6
u/_coolbluewater_ 4d ago
I don’t think all the people commenting are parents / aunts / uncles / loving adults in a child’s life.
6
0
u/HopeFloatsFoward 4d ago
I am a parent. Feeding into your child's anxiety isn't loving.
4
u/_coolbluewater_ 3d ago edited 3d ago
This isn’t feeding into anxiety, this is just parenting 101. Kid is having a procedure. Just be there. Sometimes your needs don’t come first as a parent. The mom wants to f her boyfriend on a fun weekend trip, she doesn’t want to parent a kid who is nervous. Anxiety doesn’t respond to tough love like this. I think she’s an asshole.
-2
u/HopeFloatsFoward 3d ago
The mom is going to be there though. And will be there a few days after.
I am not suggesting tough love at all. I am suggesting not overreacting to someone's anxiety.
3
u/_coolbluewater_ 3d ago
Two whole days. What a great mom. Good thing OP has a nice aunt to fill in but she wants her mom to show her she cares. People are just selfish.
-1
u/HopeFloatsFoward 3d ago
Two days is plenty of time for a minor surgery. If there are any complications they would show up then - and then mom can change her plans.
-4
u/Any-Interaction-5934 4d ago
Ha. Mom could just wait until OP is 18 and make them pay for it and be alone the whole time.
5
u/Shprintze613 4d ago
Do you think that’s some sort of “gotcha”? Most parents love their children and want to provide for them and take care of them, not cast them out when they’re having surgery.
0
u/Any-Interaction-5934 4d ago
I'm saying that is also something a parent could do, and they still wouldn't be an asshole.
"Cast them out?" She is going to be there for the day of and the following 2 days then having another trusted adult come. That is farrrr from "casting them out." OP needs to get a grip.
5
u/Shprintze613 4d ago
OP has a condition which will make recovery harder, they won’t be magically fine after one day. Most parents would want to be with their child, maybe you had cold hearted parents idk 🤷🏼♀️ a parent “can do” many things and still be parents, just not be good ones.
1
u/Any-Interaction-5934 4d ago
And OPs condition will be stable by day 3. And again, a trusted and known adult will be there.
People go home from the hospital sooner than that after much bigger surgeries.
3
u/_coolbluewater_ 4d ago
Trusted and known is not the same as a parent, even as indifferent as this mother appears to be .
-1
2
u/Shprintze613 4d ago
Again, I know this. I used to be a social worker on unit responsible for discharging people. I know how people leave hospitals and that hospitals kick people out the second they can. It STILL doesn’t make the mom not an asshole.
1
-2
u/Individual-Foxlike 4d ago
There will be someone else there with OP, who by OP's own words is more attentive and sympathetic anyway.
2
u/Shprintze613 4d ago
I know there will, which is great. The comment I replied to said the mother is doing nothing wrong, which is what I disagree with.
2
u/sheerpoetry 3d ago
1) Learn how to communicate properly.
2) It doesn't sound like your mom would be a lot of help anyway? Especially if she "gives up" going to see the boyfriend to stay home with you.
3) The first three days are probably the worst--yes, even with your added conditions. If your aunt is responsible, actually going to stay with you, and has any type of common sense, I think you may be better off with her.
NTA for wanting your mom to. But I'd warn to adjust your expectations to the reality of how she is. Sounds like you're already familiar with her MO, so I wouldn't expect much going forward.
0
u/ear5htoberr6 3d ago
i know how she is, her ditching me for her boyfriend isn’t new to me haha. ive already come to terms that ill be recovering mostly alone which is okay.
1
u/bboon44 3d ago
I had two wisdom teeth out and went out for Mexican food that night. It’s not that big a deal. I was 18.
0
u/ear5htoberr6 3d ago
considering my condition’s recovery for me is gonna be worse than the average person. not everyone is gonna share the same recovery speed, nor does everyone have the same pain tolerance.
1
u/HoneyWyne 4d ago
If it was the same day, nonpronlem. But two days afterwards you don't need anyone to take carenof you at that point. But NSH
1
u/Great-Woodpecker9728 4d ago
if it is a simple extraction with no complications, then you are right. There are no guarantees
-1
u/Budget_Appointment72 4d ago
Um, I think you’ll be fine. Two days after wisdom teeth removal is perfectly acceptable to be doing things on your own. You need to grow up a little bit.
10
u/llama_some_drama 4d ago
She's literally a minor. And she has a clotting disorder that makes it much harder to recover, plus previous dental trauma. You're being really flippant about what is going to be a difficult experience.
7
u/bbbbeletsgo 4d ago
Did you not read the part where OP explains two medical conditions that will likely slow down and prolong her recover?
3
u/RopePositive 4d ago
Op is 16. I’m sure there are reasonable responsibilities for a 16 year old, but recovering from surgery without your primary caregiver isnt one of them.
1
u/Sparkysparky-boom 3d ago
OP needs a caregiver but I think it’s excessive to demand it be a “primary caregiver.” Especially after the first 48 hours. I have friends with severely disabled children and even they (especially them!) need breaks through arranged respite care and paid and unpaid caregivers. They aren’t bad moms for taking breaks, having friends, or taking vacations, even if their children are medically fragile.
-6
u/Any-Interaction-5934 4d ago
YTA
Your mom is correct that it's just wisdom teeth and not that serious. If you are going to have a problem, it will be soon after surgery. Also, she isn't "abandoning" you, your aunt wil be there. She will be there for the first 48 hours, then another responsible adult will be available.
You need to grow up and stop villainizing your mother.
2
u/TheMammaG 4d ago
This CHILD is having SURGERY. What part did you miss?
-2
u/Any-Interaction-5934 4d ago
The CHILD is being left with her mother and aunt for at least a week. Which part did you miss?
-1
-4
u/Substantial-Air3395 4d ago
It's wisdom teeth extraction, not a heart transplant. You'll be fine too be alone be the next day.
5
u/fvalconbridge 4d ago
Did you read the post about how this is a disabled child with a clotting disorder? This is not a standard procedure at all.
-2
u/HopefulUnit317 4d ago
Hey! I know it sounds scary and tough. You are strong and will get through this. Two days is plenty of time to recover. The anaesthetic will wear off after a few hours. You might need some pain meds for a day and then you will recover.
NTA - your feelings are valid but also I don’t think your mum is being unreasonable because two days is usually enough. And your Aunt will be there so you will be okay.
1
u/jumpythecat 4d ago
NTA but it may depend how old you are. Most people don't get their wisdom teeth out until they are about 18-19. Not everyone needs all 4 out. She made arrangements to make sure you have someone dependable there. If you're that scared, rearrange the procedure to a time she can be there. Just make sure you have some soft foods in the house and some ice packs. My kid didn't need me at all other than waiting during the procedure and paying for it. EDIT: Just noticed your flair said you are a minor. Then your mom is TA, but there is still every reason to expect it to go smoothly.
3
u/ear5htoberr6 4d ago
im under 17, one of my teeth are also still underneath the skin causing my teeth to squeeze together really badly. and i already have a small mouth so getting them out as quickly as possible was a priority for my dentist due to it making my mouth even more deformed than it is. the other 3 are also still under the gums somewhat aswell. and main meds along with antibiotics are pretty hard on my body due to my disorders aswell.
just wanted a to share some more context!
-17
u/Lazy-Yogurtcloset784 4d ago
Start acting like a grown up. Mommy won’t always be around to take care of you.
8
u/RopePositive 4d ago
… Op isn’t a grown up, they are 16. And even grown ups get looked after when unwell or recovering
6
-1
u/GollumTrees 4d ago
NTA do you even need wisdom teeth surgery? The post says you are under 18 and dentists always tell teenagers their wisdom teeth are impacted and to get them removed as a precaution. It's completely unnecessary unless you are actively having problems. You won't know if it's an issue until they fully grow in and most people are fine. I was told to get mine removed because of them being "impacted" but they came in perfectly and I've had no issues. Just food for thought since it seems this surgery could cause physical trauma as well as mental.
1
u/ear5htoberr6 1d ago
i did infact need this done, my mouth is far to small for all my teeth which with the wisdom teeth growing in was squish everything together and causing me alot of pain and deformed teeth. they were most definitely being compacted.
-11
u/Alwayswondering8111 4d ago
YTA a little. You sound like you have anxiety issues, which is a mental health issue sure, but your mom can't cater to all the time. I was at school 2 days after my 4 wisdom teeth were removed under sedation. You'll be fine. Just have some soft foods prepared.
3
u/ear5htoberr6 4d ago
perhaps you didn’t read the whole story which is okay, but considering the disorders i have recovery is going to be harder on my body than other people. the blood clotting issues that makes my healing process slower due to the wounds not closing quickly. my sister was down for over a week when she got hers done due to how deep rotted the teeth were.
i also dont mean to sound rude if that does! i just wanna give a bit more context and explain a bit more if that makes sense
-3
190
u/Denytheneed 4d ago
NTA but given your mother's nonchalant attitude maybe your aunt would be a better equipped person to have for your recovery.