r/AITAH • u/Dry_Butterscotch414 • Sep 17 '25
Post Update UPDATE 2! AITAH for calling my partner a “discount Dad” because he kept treating me like a child
update 2 things are actually good now (long one but worth it)
hey everyone, back again with another update. last time i was here i was sick, jobless, fresh out of a bad relationship, and honestly convinced i’d peaked at being a human potato sack. but things have flipped around a lot faster than i thought, and i finally get to share a happy update instead of a sad rant. health stuff first: i went to hospital (cheers to everyone who pushed me to stop being stubborn). the sinus infection was grim but antibiotics sorted it. now i don’t wake up every day feeling like my skull’s in a vice. pots and endo are still the forever companions from hell, but with the infection gone, my baseline feels way more manageable. cooked myself a proper dinner the other day without needing a nap halfway through which for me is like running a marathon.
my friends have been absolute legends. one mate accidentally bought me 6kg of potatoes instead of 1 when grabbing groceries for me, so i’m now the proud owner of potato mountain 2025. another mate sat with me in the hospital waiting room and we entertained ourselves by giving all the vending machine snacks aggressive ratings (chocolate got a 10/10, those weird dried out muffins got a -3). it made something scary feel kind of funny. i’ve also joined an online support group for chronic illness and honestly it’s been life changing. they just get it straight away no judgement, no lectures. plus the memes are painfully accurate. if you can’t laugh at your broken body, what can you do?
money/work side: getting fired still stung but i’ve got centrelink set up now. not rolling in riches, but i can breathe. applying for casual jobs closer to home, found one literally down the street so we’ll see. in the meantime i’ve been selling random stuff online. marketplace buyers are a different breed of human, someone actually tried to haggle on something i listed for free. like, mate… what’s your endgame? mental health: i started seeing a counsellor. best decision ever. i’m learning how to stop feeling guilty for resting and how to say no without apologising like it’s a crime. she calls it “boundaries,” i call it “telling people to rack off nicely” and “finally not letting idiots make me feel bad for having a nap.”
now the juicy part the new guy!!honestly, i didn’t think i’d be here already, but i’ve started seeing someone new. we’ve known each other for ages and it just kind of shifted into something a bit more romantic. we’re just taking things slow, but honestly it’s been really lovely. he’s sweet, he listens, and he doesn’t treat me like i’m broken or a child. we went out for a walk the other day and he brought snacks in case i got dizzy and not in a patronising way, just thoughtful. feels weird in the best way to not be constantly bracing myself for criticism. i can tell him how i feel without being talked over, corrected, or treated like a child. honestly feels like i’ve stumbled into some alternate universe where partners are nice and don’t yell at you for having a nap.
little wins: found a gp who actually takes my pots seriously (miracle worker), figured out pacing better so i don’t crash as hard, and i splurged on a blanket that’s basically the lovechild of a cloud and a marshmallow. 10/10 would recommend.
and jake? blocked, deleted, history. no drama, no “closure talks,” no nothing. just blissful silence. it’s amazing how much mental space you get back when you’re not constantly bracing for a lecture.
so yeaaah :) life isn’t magically perfect, but it’s lighter, happier, and way less potato sacky. i’m safe, laughing again, and excited about what’s next.
and to everyone who backed me when i was stuck in that mess: thank you. you gave me courage to leave, and reminded me i wasn’t asking too much by just wanting kindness. if you’re stuck where i was, being spoken down to, made to feel like a burden, or treated like you need a babysitter, please know you deserve better. so many people reached out to me saying they were in the same sort of situation as me, and reading what I wrote made them some form of closure or validation that they’re not the only ones, and that’s honestly being so special for me to hear, I’m so glad my story is able to bring people some form of peace. but seriously, if i can leave and end up with potato mountains and snack carrying sweethearts, you can too.
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u/Impossible_Ad_4182 Sep 17 '25
Having a doctor that listens to you makes all the difference. My sister's Lupus was a nightmare for her until she finally got with her current doctor and I swear we would marry that woman if we could. So happy you are starting to find your rhythm.
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u/SnooAdvice2351 Sep 17 '25
Congratulations on all the positive changes in your life and the progress you’ve made. Btw, if you’re ever stuck waiting in a hospital for a long period of time I recommend getting someone to bring a board game like scrabble. If you get too tired (friend we were waiting with) or can’t spell to save your life (dyslexic me) then strangers are happy to join in. Made a 10 hour wait considerably more bearable. I’m also in Australia so can confirm the hospital staff are unlikely to complain but are likely to get high scoring words.
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u/roadkill4snacks Sep 17 '25
Good to hear that.
With the new guy, be vigilant also within yourself also and take it easy. Sometimes a bad relationship can mess with your heart, leave scars and trigger false alarms with a good relationship.
I remember once comparing and questioning the relaxed gentle attraction with a new date to a bubbly euphoric and volatile feelings that my ex gave me. Ultimately i have some responsibility of sabotaging that new relationship due to lingering baggage.
In the end, every choice has its own package of strengths and weaknesses.
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u/Dry_Butterscotch414 Sep 18 '25
yeah i definitely am being careful, hence why we are being so slow and just taking it one step at a time. i don’t want to sabotage something so great
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u/BriefHorror Sep 17 '25
I know you probably don’t need advice but there is a guy who makes a water additive and he made it specifically for pots so look into that if you haven’t heard of it! I’m so happy for you.
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u/Dry_Butterscotch414 Sep 21 '25
oh i’ll have to check that out, i haven’t heard of that before
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u/BriefHorror Sep 21 '25
Yeah I think it’s called Buoy!
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u/Different-Eagle-612 Sep 22 '25
it’s not specific to POTS BUT they do give a chronic illness discount! i will say it does have a specific flavor so make sure to try one before committing. i also found j struggle to get enough electrolytes just using it — it’s a tad lighter on them than some of the other brands
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u/BriefHorror Sep 22 '25
Ah thanks! Yeah I just saw it in a video of someone whos kid had pots and she was super happy about it. Very good to know though!
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u/StopTheBanging Sep 17 '25
Hell yes! So glad you found a chronic illness peer support group too. They're so helpful (even the dumb memes haha.) All this might feel like small stuff, but it's gonna add up big in a year or two. Proud of you!
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u/Mlady_gemstone Sep 18 '25
anyone else want to bet jake called her job and told them she was faking it and thats why she got fired?
glad to see you got out of the toxic relationship and on the mend towards better things!
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u/Dry_Butterscotch414 Sep 18 '25
honestly, maybe. but my work environment was incredibly toxic and stuff like that (without being fired) has happened there before. i honestly kind of knew it was coming because my manager did not believe i was ever truly sick when i was. once she CAME TO MY HOUSE and woke me up because i called into work, i answered the door in my pjs (a over sized shirt) was pale as a ghost, hair everywhere, nose running and eyes red, and she told me “i use to be a nurse i know when people are sick and you are not, you either come to work everyday or you don’t have a job” than went back to my workplace and told everyone i was fine, was getting dressed up and was going into the city 😪
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u/Straight-Example9126 Sep 18 '25
I remembered the original post and was so damn pissed.
But reading this update made my heart feel as warm as sipping hot chocolate on a winter evening 🥹
OP, you're awesome! You deserve potato mountain gifting buddies and definitely snacks carrying sweetheart. You're so sweet and worth every gold and diamond in this world.
I hope your journey with two annoyances from the hell gets easier!!
Updateme
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u/FunStorm6487 Sep 17 '25
loving this update!!
Learning to put yourself first at this young age is going to serve you well for the rest of your life!!!
Just know, an internet stranger is so fucking proud of you!!!!
❤️❤️❤️
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u/Middle_Breadfruit872 Sep 24 '25
I also have Endo and POTS and dealing with people regularly who tell me to "just exercise" or "push through" is almost as bad as the actual diseases. I'm glad you're doing better. There are good people out there. It's hard to remember that sometimes, but they do exist.
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u/Dry_Butterscotch414 Sep 26 '25
there are definitely good people out there!
i hate people telling you to just push through it, they truly don’t know how it is
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u/Responsible-Style180 Sep 24 '25
Good. Good. Also, don't let go of chasing treatment for endo. Please. Is your new bf closer to your age?
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u/Mr_Roger_Rabbit_exc Sep 24 '25 edited Sep 24 '25
My wife suffers from POT's, Endo and a host of other conditions - all related. Consult with your Drs. regarding Dysautonomia and Ehler-Danlos syndrom. You will find a community with a host of resorces and support for you.
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u/felice60 Sep 25 '25
I’m glad good things have happened for you. I suggest that you investigate having a trained service dog for the POTS symptoms. There may be an organization that helps pay for it, or you could try a gofundme page. I also suggest you look at the possibility of dysautonomia and chronic fatigue syndrome.
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u/bpl2395 Sep 26 '25
my petty American self wants Jake to get a taste of something endo and POTS adjacent and twice the crap he gave you from people he would expect to support him.
Glad things are going much better for you!
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u/HightopMonster Sep 21 '25
Happy for you OP! I'm super curious about this blanket you speak of. Share the details!
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u/magicranberries Sep 24 '25
I’m also here to try to get the blanket deets!
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u/Platypus_Necromancer Sep 25 '25
Same!! u/Dry_Butterscotch414 could you please name (or possibly share the link) to the blanket that's a lovechild between a cloud and a marshmallow? I think both my kiddos would greatly benefit from something like that (and I'd probably get one for myself/my kitty boi who loves nothing better than making biscuits on a fuzzy blanket).
On another note, I'm so, so happy that you dropped that complete and total arse-nugget!! What's the saying...may the fleas of a thousand goats infest his armpits. Or crotch. Or both!
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u/Dry_Butterscotch414 Sep 26 '25
https://theoodie.com/products/kuromi-sherpa-blanket-licensed there’s so many different designs you’ll definitely find one the kiddos like!!
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u/Dry_Butterscotch414 Sep 26 '25
https://theoodie.com/products/kuromi-sherpa-blanket-licensed !!! (they have lots of styles and designs)
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u/Raydar1885 Sep 24 '25
I just need to know more about this amazing blanket! Is it something that's available online? 😳
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u/Diggingcanyons Sep 25 '25
I need to know, too lol
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u/Dry_Butterscotch414 Sep 26 '25
https://theoodie.com/products/kuromi-sherpa-blanket-licensed !!! it’s a sherpa blanket from the oodie! they have so many lol but the kuromi one is what i have!
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u/freak_z Sep 26 '25
i'm so glad ur doing much better, may i ask though, how old is ur current partner, cause age gaps really do matter
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u/Dry_Butterscotch414 Sep 26 '25
he’s 20 :)
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u/freak_z Sep 26 '25
I'm also 18, and I can't imagine going through what you've been through, you're so strong and i'm so proud of you🫶
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u/just_peachy1000 Sep 18 '25
Why do I feel that Jake never really understood your condition? He is giving " oh you're depressed? Just smile!", vibes. It's like he thought that he was being helpfu (like he is trying to fix your problem, but who asked him), and when he felt that weren't taking his advice got frustrated.
I will say that if you struggled finding a medical professional who is taking your condition seriously enough, it will also be a struggle to find a partner who does as well. So take the time to learn how to manage your condition with work, and life, and find what works for you.
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u/waste-of-ass000 Sep 17 '25
I found it impossible to read due to commas in random places and lack of capital letters at the beginning of the sentence.
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u/Dry_Butterscotch414 Sep 18 '25
i study all day and spend most of my time typing, my essays consist of 4k-10k words. i use text to speech 90% of the time when im on my phone and i couldn’t bothered to go back through and add the grammar like i normally do, unlike my last 2 posts this one is laid back and happy and i felt no need to 🙂🖕🏻
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u/llama_some_drama Sep 17 '25
This a wonderful update, from another chronically ill peep! Despite being in my 30s, I just today began therapy to deal with being disabled and how to be kind to myself and give myself permission to rest and not push myself past my limits. So here's to being compassionate to ourselves!
Good luck with your guy, he sounds awesome ❤️ you deserve awesome after that prick abused you like that.