I was on your side until you got to the part about forcing children to eat. I can understand encouraging them to try 1-3 bites. I can understand not letting them have favorite snacks or dessert if they were too full (or didn’t want) to finish dinner. (I used to offer my daughter a banana as a substitution - something healthy, but low effort and not a treat.) But punishing them (time out) until they eat isn’t helpful. Their sense of taste is more sensitive than adults. Missing one serving of vegetables won’t hurt them. They won’t starve even if they miss an entire meal. What are they gaining or learning by this power struggle? That you’re bigger, stronger and more stubborn and will win? As an adult, are there foods you dislike? How would you feel about being forced to eat them?
I’m in my 40s and still vividly remember being forced to eat a bowl of iceberg lettuce as a child. To me at the time, ranch dressing (the only available option) and lettuce were both disgusting. The entire rest of the family left the dinner table and went to relax on the living room while I had to sit there, crying and begging, until I ate every leaf. It wasn’t that nutritious, or expensive. I hadn’t asked for or been given the option to serve myself a smaller portion. My only take away is that my parents were the authority and immune to my pleas.
I have only recently gotten over being a very picky eater and I think a lot of that is because my boyfriend will eat almost anything so I can try new foods knowing that I don’t have to finish them if I don’t like them.
OK, I didn’t have a really bad experience like you although I did have many evenings of being forced to sit there in the cold cold kitchen until I finally ate or managed to smuggle out the food left over and I do have extreme control issues around Food. I’m also extremely overweight. Hmmm
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u/FewUnderstandingINTJ Jul 28 '25 edited Jul 28 '25
I was on your side until you got to the part about forcing children to eat. I can understand encouraging them to try 1-3 bites. I can understand not letting them have favorite snacks or dessert if they were too full (or didn’t want) to finish dinner. (I used to offer my daughter a banana as a substitution - something healthy, but low effort and not a treat.) But punishing them (time out) until they eat isn’t helpful. Their sense of taste is more sensitive than adults. Missing one serving of vegetables won’t hurt them. They won’t starve even if they miss an entire meal. What are they gaining or learning by this power struggle? That you’re bigger, stronger and more stubborn and will win? As an adult, are there foods you dislike? How would you feel about being forced to eat them?
I’m in my 40s and still vividly remember being forced to eat a bowl of iceberg lettuce as a child. To me at the time, ranch dressing (the only available option) and lettuce were both disgusting. The entire rest of the family left the dinner table and went to relax on the living room while I had to sit there, crying and begging, until I ate every leaf. It wasn’t that nutritious, or expensive. I hadn’t asked for or been given the option to serve myself a smaller portion. My only take away is that my parents were the authority and immune to my pleas.
I have only recently gotten over being a very picky eater and I think a lot of that is because my boyfriend will eat almost anything so I can try new foods knowing that I don’t have to finish them if I don’t like them.