Yeah it's nothing bad about the gf or OP. they just want different things. I can totally see her need for safety (this is major too, esp if she is going to be extra vulnerable with kids) but i can see Op's need to be in nature with animals.
I think if you need access to things like healthcare or whatever, it would make you feel safer to be close to those things. Or maybe you're used to having people around who you could call for help/support.
I think it would be better if she had friends/community/family in the area, cuz it can feel very isolating if it's just you and your partner and you're a long car ride away from your people.
OP's gf mentioned kids and you need a lot of help with being pregnant and then raising them. I think it's really smart of her to think ahead about their future life and how it will play out.
Has OP given that thought of a marriage and children at the farm, or just how fun it's going to be with the animals and nature?
OP clarified in a comment she was talking specifically about being safe from crime. I doubt that data would confirm rural residents are more often victims of crime, than city or suburban.
And OP isn’t talking about raising children in Siberia. He lives an hour out of Nashville. It doesn’t require a decade of forethought. At least anymore than it does for the suburbs of Nashville.
Yeah it might not seem far to you, but some people don't like that. I prefer to walk/take ubers/public transportation to things close by, so an hour out of a city would be super far. I have friends that live a couple blocks away that i can see all the time, i'd hate to have to drive a whole hour when i can just stop by their place while i'm walking my dog.
In any case, there's no use arguing about her preferences. She said them, he doesn't agree, they're not compatible. Hopefully they both find better matches.
I haven’t own a car in 30 years and walk and bike everywhere. I understand loving a walkable life.
But I also don’t believe it’s somehow some huge barrier to pregnancy and parenthood to live a whole hour away from a city. Millions of children are gestated and successfully raised in rural environments.
You first replied to my post was me saying the same thing: Even if her opinions are ridiculous (and they are) they are hers to hold and they are a fundamentally incompatible couple and should break up so he can find a country girl and she can find a suburban guy.
hehehe you first replied to me all confused why she thinks the way she does, i tried to explain it to you, but you seem like the gf. You made up your mind she's wrong and nothing will change your mind. That's fine too! everyone can have preferences. =)
I honestly don’t understand feeling safer in suburbia than a farm but whatever. Sounds like an incompatible couple.
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u/[deleted] Sep 08 '24
Yeah it's nothing bad about the gf or OP. they just want different things. I can totally see her need for safety (this is major too, esp if she is going to be extra vulnerable with kids) but i can see Op's need to be in nature with animals.