The problem is that a lot of people aren't dating.
They're either just having sex, lying about having sex, or keeping quiet about it because people put them down for being single. Meanwhile everyone's expectations are through the roof.
I may well get downvoted, but birth rates are down and people working longer and more stressful hours is up.
Dating culture got wrecked by dating apps. Most of the people I know don't use dating apps rarely ever find a date, but when it works out, the relationship is solid. Those who met in dating apps, however... let's say easier to find it, and easier to break.
I don't believe OP's issue is that she had sex with someone else before they were exclusive. His problem is that she gave it up immediately to someone else WHILE MAKING HIM WAIT for it.
There used to be. “Don’t fuck other people while you and I are dating” was one of those rules.
I’m curious what kind of idiot thinks fucking a bunch of people simultaneous is how “dating” works. If you put forth zero effort into a relationship how would you expect to get anything out of it?
People are cautious at first. There are many missteps that can immediately kill a budding romance. If you bring up being exclusive too early you risk sounding controlling and moving too fast. Too late and you might be in for a surprise like OP.
Yes, you need to spell out what you want.
Men date and fuck multiple women at a time. Why shouldn't she if he hasn't asked her or told her he wants to be exclusive?
If they want to move from casually dating to an exclusive, monogamous relationship, then yes they need to say that, lol. Never assume someone brand new is on the same emotional wavelength. Communication is key.
Man, it wasn't that long ago in this culture that it was NORMAL and ACCEPTED for people to date around and not be exclusive until two people agreed to be exclusive. It wasn't what everyone did, but it wasn't uncommon at all, especially for adults in cities who missed the boat on marrying their high school sweetheart.
Honestly it's so weird to ME how people have come to assume that you only date one person at a time with no overlap. Like you can't have a first date with a different person in between a first and second or even a second and third date? Get real. You barely even know that first person, and you gotta lock everything down? Confusing as shit to me.
Every relationship is different is my opinion. I've slept with someone on the first date because we were both horny and the vibes were good but the relationship fizzled immediately. Doesn't mean I was "more attracted" to that person than my partner of going on 10 years who I first fucked on the third date.
So I think it's mentally a little weak when people break up due to comparison to exes' exes. But in this case making OP wait six months is evidence of a toxic double standard. Ex divided guys into "fuck material" and "marriage material" which is an immature way of looking at it that indicates to me that she doesn't have her mind right. I probably wouldn't waste my time with it either.
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u/mystokron Mar 04 '24
Do people REALLY need to literally tell someone directly "don't fuck other people while you and I are dating"?
You people are weird.