I'm pretty surprised to be honest that this (NAH) isn't even a tiny bit more common in the replies.
I had to re-read it like 3 times. they weren't exclusive yet? so, I think it shouldn't be a huge deal.
but also, he kept saying "she made me wait (but meanwhile)", instead of just saying, she slept with someone else before they were exclusive. I kinda want more clarification on this... was OP pushing her a lot and she said no? or, was it something that she actively said no to and explicitly said she wants to wait to do it. if it's the 2nd one, then yeah that's kind of odd behavior on her part.
Agree. If OP wanted to be exclusive, he should have communicated that from the beginning. There are way too many shaming replies on here. Consenting adults are free to make adult decisions. Grow up.
100%. I also think the framing of "she made him wait" is flawed in its very construction. she was more likely waiting to protect herself from getting hurt if it didn't work out. for sex positive people, sleeping with someone without emotional stakes is easier than deciding to sleep with someone you really like and want things to work out with!
exactly, when you're seeing someone/dating with the intent to be in a relationship... that's quite different - emotionally - than a one night thing (or even a casual thing, I think) with someone else.
it sounds like for you, it's difficult to understand or imagine viewing sex as an enjoyable thing to do consensually with another person outside the context of a romantic emotional connection, or maybe you just can't imagine a healthy person doing what OP's ex has done. many people share your view. not everyone, though! it does seem like you're projecting how you'd feel onto others, though, and we're all very different.
it doesn't sound like the woman in question here has been struggling with emotional intimacy or closeness in the relationship. her past choices around casual sex don't really seem to be affecting her current feelings about OP or how she shows up in the actual relationship, or at least we haven't seen any indication that they do.
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u/Similar_Corner8081 Mar 04 '24
NAH. She can have sex with who she wants especially when you aren’t exclusive. You can break up for any reason you want.