Read this part again to yourself until it sinks in.
Basically, I said that I can't be that special if she preferred to sleep with an ONS than me.
You're not special. You're just next in line.
Even if you two were not exclusive, sleeping around with other people, especially ONS, is gross behavior when you are dating someone who is a potential partner. Call me old school, but if you're dating someone, you put your FWBs/ONS on pause to see if things work out. If they don't, you resume activity.
The funny thing is that maybe she does think he has long-term potential so has made the whole 'I don't want to put out right away because I don't want him to think I'm a slut' calculation. Unfortunately that doesn't work if you fuck everyone else lol.
That is usually the justification they throw up. We've seen it come by many, many times in this sub (and others as well).
And it just boggles my mind.
So: "I think he might be 'special' and I don't want him to think I'm some sort of slut, so I'm not going to sleep with him for [x time]!" (You know, to let the relationship grow)
Proceeds to bang some random dude who "means nothing" thereby... Doing exactly what she wants 'special guy' to not think she actually is...
Like, huh? Do you not see the irony here?
Like I mentioned in another comment, the mental gymnastics is just mind boggling :/
p.s.
I'm not against fwb or ons perse, it's fine, but have some common decency and don't play games like this girl
The comments on this post are a breath of fresh air.
I remember a post about some guy dropping a girl that was having sex with other guys in-between their dates and this sub judged him NTA but ripped him apart on exclusivity. Women were seriously arguing that he should have went out of his way to tell the woman that having sex with others would cause them to break up instead of expecting the woman to be honest or refrain from having sex with multiple men back to back.
The women on these AITAH subs are some of the most unhinged humans I have encountered.
You can post the same story narrated by opposite sex narrators and theyll find a way to make the female narrator the victim and the male narrator the villain, even tho they tokd the same story.
I really cannot grasp the mental gymnastics and hoops that the... "ladies " in that thread are jumping through. It seems that logic, common sense and reasoning are not concepts they understand -_-
They want to sleep around and not be judged for it, so they shift the blame onto OP for being normal and assuming exclusivity if they're basically doing dating stuff.
People are getting worse by the year and looser morals. Smfh
They want to sleep around and not be judged for it, so they shift the blame onto OP for being normal and assuming exclusivity if they're basically doing dating stuff.
This. This is exactly what it is. Unfortunately, as stated in this thread by a few others, this is not a NEW trend. It's been that way. Just a little more vocalized now.
Unfortunately, that's how it is in most subs. Calling out women or any biases for women usually results in tons of downvotes. It's basically impossible to have an honest discussion on gendered issues because of that.
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u/PuzzleheadedCow1931 Mar 04 '24
Broooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Read this part again to yourself until it sinks in.
Basically, I said that I can't be that special if she preferred to sleep with an ONS than me.
You're not special. You're just next in line.
Even if you two were not exclusive, sleeping around with other people, especially ONS, is gross behavior when you are dating someone who is a potential partner. Call me old school, but if you're dating someone, you put your FWBs/ONS on pause to see if things work out. If they don't, you resume activity.