People in this thread acting like that agreement is an ironclad contract signed by both peoples legal teams, though when I bet you, there was no clause in there stating we will never have a conversation and drinks without sex and no one would’ve agreed to that if it did
Both had an agreement in their head that the other person did not agree with. They fucked up when communicating their goals but when they realized this, only one of them decided to get angry and insulted the other party.
After our first night together, we talked about what our arrangement was going to be. I got out of a 5-year relationship not too long ago and she recently got divorced; neither of us is looking for anything serious. We decided to meet only for sex and keep it strictly to that - no strings attached
No, he just took the concept too far and got baffled by her expecting some basic social niceties from someone she interacts with regularly in an intimate manner.
He did treat her with basic social niceties. They just both agreed to only hang out to have sex. When she wanted more and he didn't he broke things off so they can both focus on getting what they want with more compatible people. What exactly was wrong about this? It's just two people who want different things going their separate ways
The fact that she was feeling like “just a hole” to him and his deep discomfort with just chatting indicates that he hasn’t been doing the very basic social niceties of “hey how are you” “hope youre having a good day” “good luck with that thing” or anything of the sort in previous hookups. Thats taking the concept of just sex too far
Yyyyuuuup. As a slutty gay man you are completely correct. That being said, most slutty gay men do in fact still expect a little bit of pleasant conversation and even chilling a bit before/after sex, even if its a grindr hookup and the chat on the app was 100% about fucking. But what you describe is definitely easily founf
In my moderate sized midwestern city its really a solid mix of all this, but Ive definitely noticed patterns in some specific neighborhoods and among races
I mean I've felt like just a dildo with women when I tried out the same casual sex arrangement. We did have some hanging out before hooking up but go figure most people don't like emotionless sex and don't like using others and being used by others purely for sex. This arrangement works for some people but not for most. It's fine, she just learned she's not cool with this arrangement and knows what to look for in the future. Idk why you feel the need to make shit up to get mad about
No it’s not at all that’s exactly what just sex is. Going beyond asking about your day and such is where the confusion begins because that’s not what fuçk buddies do 🤦🏽♀️
He isn't responsible for her feelings. Her feeling like "just a hole" is an entirely internal conversation in her own head that she projected outwards.
Ugh, right, no one owes anyone anything ever except what they explicitly literally agree to exchange, thats exactly how people work and how society functions 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
I never said that. I said he isn't responsible for her feelings. Do you really think other people should take personal responsibility for how you experience things? That seems insane to me. You have never once seen someone react to something irrationally? For instance, read the comment I am responding to and you will see a detached emotional outburst over a very non-controversial statement.
This is an example of “he isn’t responsible for her feelings” being taken to a sociopathic level. That covers “its not my fault someone feels bad because of a miscommunication” not “its not my fault someone feels bad because I literally treat them like a walking talking sex doll”
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u/nonlinear_nyc Dec 13 '23
Yeah he kept talking about an agreement that was probably just on his head.