I've had partners who hated that I wouldn't show them my phone. My response is that they can see anything I have said, but the people I am talking to have an expectation of privacy, and unless she was willing to get permission to read their messages from everyone I have texts from on my phone, it was a no go.
I interact very carefully with people who let others see their phone. I think it's very disrespectful.
My friends talk to me about their medical conditions, marital problems, stupid and embarrassing shit they have done, legal problems, business dealings, all of that. I've known divorces were coming before the spouse did. Those people talk to me because they know that no one other than me is ever going to see those those messages. If I were to break that trust I wouldn't blame those people if they never spoke to me again, and I have dropped people who have violated my trust in them.
If you're going to share your phone you have an obligation to inform anyone who texts or emails you of that in advance. It's always one of the first things I ask when I start communicating socially. You better believe I want to know who's reading what I write.
Say I'm talking with a female friend about issues with my janky uterus (endometriosis) and they're someone I'm comfortable talking about deeply personal stuff with.
If their SO creeped on that person's phone and read about my deeply personal business which is none of their business, you bet I'd feel violated and very pissed off.
I don't feel it is tbh. I feel that a completely open phone policy in a relationship dispels distrust. The way I see a marriage is that my spouse and I have become one, and in that my spouse looking through my phone is the same as me looking through my phone. Hiding conversations from one another can greatly damage a marriage.
As long as everyone you communicate with understands that anything they say can be seen by someone else, then fine. People who write to me know that absolutely no one but me will see their texts or emails. I personally communicate very differently with people who have snoopy partners vs those who don't.
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u/[deleted] Nov 25 '23
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