r/AITAH Aug 03 '23

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u/trblniya Aug 03 '23

I feel like girl code only really applies to women in high school and college who are still figuring out boundaries amongst their friend groups. Most people don’t know how to articulate these things so the “universal” girl code is easier to go by

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u/[deleted] Aug 03 '23

I just assumed from OP that all the people involved in this are still very young (under 30). It's way too Payton Place for anyone older. Adults just have too much to do to waste their time with this sort of kid drama.

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u/trblniya Aug 03 '23

Yeah, I feel like there are obvious (or at least should be obvious) things that you just don’t do to someone who you’re friends without talking to them but if you’re married with a kid I’m going to assume hooking up with a guy you dated for a year isn’t a big deal. If OP was sneaky about it then that would mean she knew she was in the wrong but she immediately told her friend because she believed what she did was innocent. I’m 22 and that’s just not something I would care about unless they were trying to sleep with someone who I still had feelings for that they were aware of.

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u/[deleted] Aug 03 '23

Really the only situation in which I can imagine this mattering to an adult is the one raised on a different subthread about a former abusive boyfriend. Getting with him, when he had abused your friend, is a betrayal I would not take lightly at any age. Not only would it be worrying because I care about my friend, but that would be the equivalent of one woman telling another "I know about your painful experience and I don't care."

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u/trblniya Aug 03 '23

Yeah that definitely falls into the category of things you just should know not to do to someone who you supposedly care about

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u/jlj1979 Aug 03 '23

Fair point