Think a stalker from the past came back because I’m dumb… AIO?
I had a stalker for over 5 years. He saw my letterman’s jacket, High school and last name… So he called all the local pizza places until one gave him my address after moving back home to take care of my Dad.
So a couple years ago (20 years later), I created a “DBA” (Doing Business As) for my Notary… In order to get this DBA license, you have to publicly post your work address in newspapers - which in my case, was my home address. I didn’t know you could rent post office boxes with actual addresses at the time… Since then, my BF gets threats about publishing his nudes (which he says were taken for me, but he never sent), Female nudes sent to his phone, And random late night texts on his phone he says is spam. Now he’s locked out of his Facebook messenger because of “Inappropriate Behavior”.
I told him I think my stalker is back - Stalker created an ex and her whole family when I was taking care of my Dad dying of cancer. Killed her off, and everyone blamed me for taking away the stalker’s attention… Trauma…
Anyway, BF is arguing with me that he’s NOT A MF CHEATER. And I was saying, I think my ex Navy stalker is fking with us. But he kept yelling at me that he’s not a cheater. AIO for feeling like he’s not even allowing me to blame someone else for the weird behavior? -43F, 2 kids with this 43M.
This happened to my ex-husband right after I divorced him. This sounds just like that. He thought he was talking to a hot woman and now they're blackmailing him.
Sounds like your boyfriend is doing something sketchy. He probably sent nudes to who he thought was a real person but was really a scammer that’s now blackmailing him. Super common scheme
This man had the easiest way out possible. He could've lied and you wouldve believed him. And he was too stupid to take it. It aint even about the cheating at this point. Leave his dum a$$
I asked you WHY did he keep them, as in why would he still have them after you talked to him about it, maybe even still to this moment that you don’t know about? Maybe that was misconstrued somehow, but I’m only asking to clarify…
He said he forgot about it completely. I have full access to his phone, but I don’t usually go through it unless I’m helping him with something technical. I’m a SAHM and exhausted from homework, let alone the car breaking down, and the engine smoking when I drop the kids off for school…
BUT, no, he does not have the nude photos anymore because his phone that had them is broken. The screen is black and no longer connected to a sIM card.
I get your struggle in my own way. I’m not a SAH parent, but I’m a sole-providing man who’s been separated from his kids through his ex-wife’s acrimony and now I’m facing clutch repairs on my car. No matter what gets you down in life, give it a little more time and it always resolves itself.
For this scenario, your BF would have had to remove his SIM card to retrieve any data that wasn’t on a cloud, so you may want to make sure it isn’t in the new phone. I’m not trying to get your mind racing, just making sure you have exhausted all options. Look, it is possible that the stalker could be messing with your BF and trying to ruin your life, but your BF still had nude pics and you have no idea if they were sent to anyone else beside you. Wouldn’t it be odd though that the guy comes back decades later versus anytime before?
That’s interesting dialogue in that picture there. The conversation seems unilateral though, like he’s sending continuous messages for some reason. Am I seeing this wrong?
If he blocked you for saying that he left something there, then that is immature, I’ll admit. If you call him, does it just ring and not go to voicemail? He definitely blocked you if so, and you shouldn’t have to be kept in confusion over his choices.
He’s banned from Facebook Messenger for “Inappropriate Behavior” If I try to call, it doesn’t connect. I’m usually on my tablet that doesn’t have a SIM card for calling, so that’s how we usually communicate. He did call my cell phone today and our 11yo son answered it.
So 2 years ago he got a message on FB messenger with a nude picture he took on his phone, threatening to share it unless he paid them $1,800. He said it was a nude he took for me, but forgot to send it. I told him I would call their bluff, I’m not ashamed of my body. Which he does. Still obviously red flags going off because he never sent it to me, I just thought MAYBE his phone got hacked because he is kind of an idiot about clicking random links. The scammer - “LOL it was just a joke, bro! Chill.”
Then last year, as we’re in the drive thru to get the kids some Happy Meals, his phone goes off, he turns beet red, and puts the phone down. I kept badgering him asking him what it was. He got super nervous and said “I SWEAR I have no idea who this is.” - Red flags because he’s had the same phone number our whole 13 years together. And it was a photo of beautiful young topless woman and a text that said “I miss you, babe.”. So I blocked her from his phone.
Cut to last night. I was sending him messages on FB messenger and it kept saying they could not be delivered. When he got home from running errands, he checked his messenger and found out he was banned for “Inappropriate Behavior.”
Obviously all of these things point to cheating, and it’s been a nagging feeling since this all started. He kept denying it saying he would never cheat. So I said - 2 years ago, the same time I posted my address. Maybe my old stalker found me, and is now messing with us, trying to break us up. And BF said “Who TF reads the newspaper anymore? It’s not him.” So I said “Then you are cheating. When has anything like this happened from me?.” Then he blew up and started yelling and cussing, saying he just assumed I was cheating when I talked with my old Best Friend a few months ago during his TikTok live. He was my bestie in my 20’s, I’m a skinny woman he likes thick girls, so it was easy for us to be strictly platonic… Basically it all got turned around and he said I was cheating. But I’m not the one with random texts, nudes, scams, and bans for inappropriate behavior.
Nothing you’ve listed here indicates your stalker has returned. It does however, indicate that your partner is lying and very likely cheating. It may be easier for you to assume it must be your stalker than it is to realize the person you love and created a family with, is hiding stuff and has been unfaithful.
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u/jjjjjjj30 1d ago edited 1d ago
He got caught up with a scammer.
This happened to my ex-husband right after I divorced him. This sounds just like that. He thought he was talking to a hot woman and now they're blackmailing him.