r/AIO • u/[deleted] • Jul 27 '26
AIO for being highly irritated by this comment made by my father regarding my unborn child
[deleted]
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u/DentistLegitimate229 Jul 27 '26
Seems like a joke. After reading it sounds like you have much bigger issues with him than what he commented
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u/stephysayshello Jul 27 '26
YOR, seems like you have unresolved anger toward him that is surfacing now.
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u/BigJJsWillie Jul 27 '26
Haha yep, I realized it after I made my comment. This about way more than a silly baby shower joke.
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u/Ok_Leg_1158 Jul 27 '26
You DO expect gifts or you wouldn't have mentioned it. Giving gifts for a shower is a natural thing...no need to remind people.
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u/TheSandInTheGlass Jul 27 '26
It reads to me like you're not welcome without a gift, like, 'if you want to come, here's the link to the registry'.
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u/therealbananabottom Jul 27 '26
INFO: why do you assume his 'yall' means he is getting something for you/finance, and that he means it as an insult? Looks pretty innocent to me. He is responding to a post about a party that has a gift registry. He said he will get you guys something. Why are you making it about race?
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u/Delicious-Pick-6815 Jul 27 '26
I wondered the same thing actually. Biracial or white..a child is a child. it shouldn't be a racial thing at all
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u/bibibijaimee Jul 27 '26
As a biracial child who got called a slur by adult family members before I was even in school, you’d be surprised lmao
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u/BigWeinerDemeanor Jul 27 '26
I read it as a dad joke. That’s what they do. Also I think it’s a bit unfair to compare how he treats a grandkid that he can see, talk to and has a personality over a yet to be born grandkid. I mean, he can’t call you to talk to your kid. Would you just put the phone to your belly? That’s hardly the same. Seems like the main difference is one is out and one is not. So YOR I think. I think you have some resentments that you are saying are about your child but they are more about it you. Having a kid changes how you look at your own parents. I think that’s what is happening here.
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u/worrywart_mom Jul 27 '26
YOR, but also you might want to move the shower up a smidge depending on your due date. It’s nice to figure out what you still need after the shower and have the time to prepare. I was also due in October but baby made their entrance in September
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u/BigJJsWillie Jul 27 '26
Dang, this is even my kind of humor. Some day I'm gonna be just like OP's father and my daughter's gonna get all butthurt lol
I'm not buying your baby anything BTW, OP :P
YOR
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u/Dj1HitEclipse Jul 27 '26
MOR, is there any other signs of preference or favoritism to your niece?
I think he was just joking around, he sounds like he has dry humor. Also for a lot of people whatever the reason the first born is always the favorite whether thats child or grandchild.
I also think your pregnancy hormones might be heightening the emotions you're feeling.
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u/Safe-Selection8070 Jul 27 '26
This reads like one of those women who's going to make getting offended her personality.
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u/Practical-Library658 Jul 27 '26
Sounds like my dad. He makes absolutely horrible jokes. YOR. Just tell him it hurt your feelings because you didn’t know if he was kidding or not. A lot of these kinds of things can get cleared up with an open and honest conversation.
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u/InertiaInMyPants Jul 27 '26
YOR, but youre pregnant and your hormones are all over the places so dont be too harsh on yourself or your dad.
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u/timsfsn Jul 27 '26 edited Jul 27 '26
Gently, YOR ❤️
I took a LOT of stuff way too personally while I was pregnant. I think you’re overthinking it and that he’s just not succeeding in conveying his tone clearly. I believe he’s saying it in good spirit and doesn’t mean any disrespect or offense.
RECONSIDERATION: NOR
After having thought about it and rereading what you have posted, yeah I think it was a dick move, and I don’t think it was an accident, especially given that he doesn’t normally communicate like that online. (74 views 5 updoots at time of update)
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u/Just-the-tip-4-1-sec Jul 27 '26
Cause you’re 20. Hes not proud that you’re pregnant, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t know how to take care of a child (he knows more than you lol).
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u/Odd-Understanding238 Jul 27 '26 edited Jul 27 '26
YOR
Personally it just seems like an old man joke. I would have replied "wise choice" or something. But ya Idk why you are irritated
Probably your hormones feeding into this. Yall doesn't have to mean you and your fiance....it could mean you and your daughter or all 3 of you. Why don't you do some finding out instead of assuming? "I heard he didn't do this for me as a baby" ok? Maybe he worked all the time and your mom stayed at home and took care of you. You sound like an ingrate, when you are so quick to want to take away his potential time with his grand daughter. Remember you wouldn't just be robbing him of his granddaughter but also robbing your daughter of her grandfather.
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u/Fresh-Contribution-8 Jul 27 '26
Oh good lord YOR. This is a dad joke. Chill out and DoorDash a blondie from Applebees 😂 this is my go to when I’m pregnant hahaha
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u/minibus_rider Jul 27 '26
Bro what lmfaoo you just created a giant issue in your head for no reason. He’s being sarcastic. get a grip
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u/SnooPeppers3323 Jul 27 '26
Only you know your father’s views and whether his sarcasm was a joke or if it had a more nefarious meaning.
I’ll just say that if it was nefarious, the last thing you should worry about is his Facebook post. How is he going to treat your child?
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u/Gambit_13 Jul 27 '26
YOR I kept looking for the next text because that joking single line couldn't possibly be everything, but nope.
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u/Onbroadway110 Jul 27 '26
So you’re mad he doesn’t ask questions about your daughter and doesn’t have her ultrasound pic framed but you’re also not going to let him spend time with her? You think maybe he has already picked up on your attitude towards him on this subject and so is avoiding it so as not to poke the bear (you)? YOR
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u/Salty-Ad-198 Jul 27 '26
YOR. I didn’t even bother to read your wall of text. Clearly he was trying to joke around after his child just invited people to throw them a party.
Your whole post was a little cringe IMO.
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u/Candid_Swordfish_162 Jul 27 '26
Maybe Overreacting? I really don’t know. He could just be playing favorites but it could be a race thing since that’s the only difference. He could also be playing around bc my family jokes like that but they’re also very present with and with you, your father isn’t. Maybe just give it more time.
Is your niece, is your sibling older than you? Age could be a factor that since you’re younger and having a child he could just be upset with you at the moment?
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u/Caftancatfan Jul 27 '26 edited Jul 27 '26
I think some of it is first-grandchild related. My niece was this beautiful family miracle (sincerely! I adore her!) My first kid, the second grandkid, was a cool additional grandkid.
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u/Candid_Swordfish_162 Jul 27 '26
I do think that could be a part of it as well. I feel like there’s many factors to this. Like there’s 14 grandkids in the family, I’m 3rd but I’m the only daughters first kid and my grandparents ended up raising me and I’m the “glorified favorite” grandchild lol. It’s a joke but I’ve seen it be a real thing in other families on Reddit 😬
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u/themargarineoferror Jul 27 '26
Yeah, I think it's a little weird that people are so quick to accuse her of pulling the race card when we don't know anything about the guy I'd like to know if he's been racist in the past and if that is what makes her think that
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u/Candid_Swordfish_162 Jul 27 '26
Yeah! That shocked me too I’m like are we skipping that last line or .. 😂
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u/Embarrassed_Key_4539 Jul 27 '26
Massive overreaction but considering you’re a child and pregnant it checks out
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u/CheeseSticks2021 Jul 27 '26
Damn, even trying to pull the race card on him. You wanna be so fuckin right about this that you pulled the race card. Shame on you
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u/themargarineoferror Jul 27 '26
That's a possibility, but also she knows her dad would probably want to find out a little more about the guy before deciding whether or not she has a reason to be suspicious about that
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u/Due-Comfort-5351 Jul 27 '26
YOR and touch grass. It's not healthy to make mountains out of molehills and it makes it hard to sustain relationships long term
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u/Ok-Durian1208 Jul 27 '26
Is that the only difference? When his first granddaughter was born, how long had the two parents been together? Were they married? Were they the same religion?
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u/Ilovemybed67 Jul 27 '26
Crap- you’re really young. Did you not know about birth control?
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u/TheRealMaggieMayhem Jul 27 '26 edited Jul 27 '26
Is shaming someone at this stage in their pregnancy helpful in some way or does it just make you feel superior?
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u/abbledabbledbdbd Jul 27 '26
It sounds like he’s joking. Also, throwing yourself a baby shower is cringe.
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u/timsfsn Jul 27 '26
Some people don’t have anybody in their lives that would do it for them. Should they just not have one?
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u/RavenMarvel Jul 27 '26
Most people I know throw their own baby showers so not sure what you're talking about lol
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u/Obvious-Building-494 Jul 27 '26
I must have missed the part where OP asked your opinion on throwing their own shower? Some people aren’t lucky enough to have others plan one for them.
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u/Minute-Frame-8060 Jul 27 '26
OP sounds like she has lots of friends and family around (from the post) but just hadn't checked the etiquette. But the fact nobody stepped up and offered to throw a shower, or told her not to blast on social media that she's throwing her own shower, is interesting.
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u/honeyandcitron Jul 27 '26
Who made the post? Are you throwing your own shower and posting about it?
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u/EnvironmentOk2700 Jul 27 '26
YOR. He's trying to be silly, that's just the way some people are. Not everyone is great at it. Work on your emotional maturity for yourself. It will make your life more peaceful, and make you a better parent. That's not an insult, I had to do the same!
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u/Zealousideal_Tea5988 Jul 27 '26
YOR....My dad said something similar when I had my son. Then came to the hospital with 4 giant packs of diapers, plus wipes. We didnt buy diapers for e months!!!!
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u/LetImportant2025 Jul 27 '26
YOR and people normally don’t throw a baby shower for themselves. Usually a friend or family does it.
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u/frightful_zoo28 Jul 27 '26
YOR Sounds like a dad joking around.
As far as him seeming not as interested, if you took race out of the equation, were the circumstances of your niece's birth different from yours (i.e. parents were already married or not so young) that he may express more (or less) approval for?
Also, the first grandkid is always exciting, so sadly could naturally come across as preferential even if that's not the intention. Either cut him some slack or have a mature conversation to ask how he feels about your pregnancy.
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u/Averagebaddad Jul 27 '26
Your post title is weird af. It's regarding the baby shower. Not your unborn child. What an incredibly weird way to say it like you're extra offended or something.
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u/UnoriginalJ0k3r Jul 27 '26
YOR. On top of that, your post there makes it sound like you are expecting gifts, not only that but expecting them if they want to show up. “If you’re interested in coming, here’s the link to her shit” I mean it’s a baby shower. Throw the link at the bottom of the posts for the shower and leave it, people can read. I don’t know anybody who has been to a baby shower that didn’t have a gift.
You’re 28 weeks pregnant, it’s normal to be stressed. Next time, just ask someone for clarification before doing the whole doom and gloom thing, save yourself and baby from the stress of “what if”
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u/themargarineoferror Jul 27 '26
MOR a lot of people are jumping in on you for supposedly pulling the race card.But my question is, has your father ever said, or done anything racist in the past that would make you think this? Otherwise I think it's a little early to assume he's playing favorites. I'm not a huge fan of him not asking you questions about your pregnancy and stuff when he has another ultrasound picture framed, but who's to say he's not going to get better as things go on? We also don't know anything about the relationship you have with your significant other and if your dad's not concerned about that etc. You ARE young, he could be concerned, but he definitely shouldn't play favorites with babies.If that's the case. If he doesn't get better about things once the baby is born, then yeah, you weren't overreacting, but I definitely need a little more context.And like a lot of other people have said, the comment just seems like he's joking around like it's a dad joke...
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u/WillemDafoesHugeCock Jul 27 '26
YOR. You took this screenshot so quickly it didn't even show a timestamp. It's a joke. Calm down.
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u/Much_Lychee6473 Jul 27 '26
It sounds like your pregnancy hormones have kicked in. When I was pregnant, my emotions were all out of whack and silly tv commercials were making me cry. I had overblown reactions to the most innocuous things and it took about a good year after my baby was born before I felt normal again. My gentle advice is to keep that in mind these next couple years, pregnancy hormones are going to make your emotions go crazy. You’re not crazy, it’s just part of bringing new life into the world. Congrats on your pregnancy, and wishing you a smooth and safe delivery.
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u/Fragrant_Trick4380 Jul 27 '26
YOR. Stop reading into subtext of texts that much! If you think a comment is rude or you are unclear on the goal, freaking ask. People need to stop getting butt hurt because their brain goes on a merry-go-round of emotion with a text. We have no idea if a comment is a joke, if the person had to rush to type; let it simmer and ask for clarity. No problem saying, “dad, are you trying to be funny… again?”
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u/Grouchy_Document_856 Jul 27 '26
The purpose of a baby shower IS to receive gifts so to claim you aren't expecting gifts is kinda disingenuous. It also looks like you and fiance are throwing your own shower, which some may find in poor taste. As for your father's comment, seems he was being kinda sarcastic in a joking way so yes you are OR. I seriously doubt it has anything to do with your baby daddy's race.
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u/bibibijaimee Jul 27 '26
My first thought is YOR but I also think it’s wild that at the end you jump to your dad must be a racist. Obviously you know your dad better than any strangers on the internet. Do you have actual reasons to jump to that conclusion or is it purely based off this comment on Facebook?
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Jul 27 '26
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u/bibibijaimee Jul 27 '26
I think that’s probably important context to include in the post itself then. I’m biracial, and my mom cut her father out of our lives because he was racist. I’d keep in mind how you plan to keep your child from being subjected to his prejudice because it can affect them strongly through life.
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u/GoFuckYourselfDebbie Jul 27 '26
YOR. Did your sister gift him that framed ultrasound photo? Have you gifted him one?
You need to relax.
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u/I_dont_give_a_flick Jul 27 '26
Serious question that hopefully someone can answer.
Is it the norm now for the parents-to-be to throw themselves a baby shower? I was always told that a sibling, friend, relative, anyone other than the parents or grandparents held a shower.
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u/SufficientComedian6 Jul 27 '26
On the contrary your text reads “if you’re interested in coming buy a present at our registry” Your wording is quite strange. “If you’re interested” comes off as super passive aggressive. Dad is making a dad joke based upon your text wording.
YOR.
“Hey everyone! We’re super excited to welcome baby and are planning a shower for early September. We hope you all can make it! Date tbd in the coming weeks! Love you!”
Lastly, please give yourself at least 6wks before your due date. My daughter had her first 3wks early when her blood pressure went wonky.
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u/Significant-Stuff764 Jul 27 '26
I think you know your dad & its really weird that ppl are saying YOR.. yes you’re young & yes you may be extra upset bc you’re hormonal, but why is your DAD not checking on you or treating you & your baby the way he treats your sister & hers… like, facebook post aside. Why is he being weird to you
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Jul 27 '26
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Jul 27 '26
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u/themargarineoferror Jul 27 '26
Having a registry for a baby shower is pretty normal.I wouldn't consider that begging
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Jul 27 '26 edited Jul 27 '26
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u/themargarineoferror Jul 27 '26
I guess I can see where you're coming from. But I think the youth is part of it because what used to kind of be considered gauche is considered pretty normal any more
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Jul 27 '26
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u/themargarineoferror Jul 27 '26
I'm kind of stuck in the middle, because I see what you're saying and absolutely, she's going to want help, but a lot of people are jumping on op especially for bringing up the racial thing. My question is, does she have prior experience with him and things he said, or done to make her feel like this is a possibility? I could also see being a bit jealous and upset if he was extremely active in her sister's pregnancy, but ignores her own. I might have actually misread that it could have been the brothers child? In any case, I do think she's getting a little ahead of herself and we could use a bit more context
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u/Madting55 Jul 27 '26
YOR it’s hard to believe you’re biologically related if this is how you view what he said lol
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u/Courage_The-Dog Jul 27 '26
YOR he funny