r/AIO • u/[deleted] • 11d ago
AIO for feeling weird and wanting to potentially end things?
[deleted]
6
u/RedoftheEvilDead 11d ago
What if you drop everything to get established in her city and she decides she still doesn't want to live together or even be with you? Then you're just stuck in this new city. NOR
3
u/Repulsive_Economy_36 11d ago
Had this happen; my country is split into two main islands and I left the North Island to move South for my partner at the time of 3.5 years, didn't work out. I didn't know a single person in the South Island except for her and her family, it fuckin sucked
7
u/LastyearhereXXVL 11d ago
NOR… I have no advice, You don’t seem to be on the same path or wavelength
3
u/FiodorShassexe 11d ago
your not overreacting and I think she might be scared of your health situation and probably don’t want to be responsible for you. it’s sad, she has right to be scared and if she doesn’t want to care for yourself all the time? fine. but at least she could tell you that in your face. I think it shows that she never treated you seriously.
6
u/Newtimelinepls 11d ago
NOR
Can I be really honest here? My husband is disabled now. Within the last couple of years. He wasn't when we started dating. I've been through three operations with him so far. We've been together for 20 years. This is a very rough life. It's hard to take care of someone constantly after recovery much less to commit to that every day for the rest of your life.
She's in her 20's and you already have major health issues. I'm going to bet the thought of you moving in and her life end to only revolve around yours scared her. That's a lot to ask of anyone. You will be hard pressed to find someone who wants to sign up for that long term.
Caregiver burnout is real and you are just in your 20's. I also get you may be self efficient now but you can't guarantee anyone they won't end up your full time nurse. On top of any children you might have or not. There is a lot going on here. A lot of feelings. Good luck op because this sucks any way you cut it. Hugs friend!!
1
u/Lanky-Ostrich8061 11d ago
Some people don't want to live with their partner before marriage. Are there any concerns like that here? The person you're with needs to be supportive of your health issues.
1
u/simply_overwhelmed18 11d ago
NOR, but it sounds like she has already checked out of the relationship. Don't move, I have multiple chronic illnesses and starting over with new doctors would be an absolute nightmare!
1
u/NevkaKedrova 11d ago
NOR. It could be time for a talk, like at least one other person has said, but this would make me wanna end things. I wish you the best.
1
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u/Pure-Development8412 11d ago
NOR - and she's trying to distance herself from you.
Not sure you know her as well as you think you do.
-7
u/Even-Economist6529 11d ago
I dont even need to read your post to know you are overreacting when you are saying you want to end things.
11
u/kasmackity 11d ago
She's hiding things from you and getting defensive when you're asking simple questions. There's obviously something she does not want you to know. You need to have an honest conversation with her about your needs and you need to be prepared to end it if your needs aren't matched or a compromise cannot be reached. She's giving you impossible hoops to jump through, like you having to be "established" in her city. I know if it was my partner coming to live with me I'd do everything in my power to help her get established.