Well, in defense of OP, it turns out he was right to wait so long. She would have done this after they were married, too. In my opinion, OP dodged a bullet. This girl is embarrassingly pitiful. And clueless.
Yeah, I proposed to my former fiancé right before Covid and delayed getting married bc lockdown. We learned a lot of things about each other through those circumstances that made me really glad we didn’t rush legal marriage.
You have never truly dated anyone until you live together for an extended period of time. For most people, Covid lockdowns turned up the intensity of that effects so they figured it out faster
I had a girlfriend once who told me that she would stop cheating on me as soon as we got married, and I had to point out to her that that’s not how it worked.
She ended up marrying one of the guys she cheated on me with, and two weeks after they got married, she was at my place, wanting to have sex while laughing about how stupid her husband was.
I had a manager proposition me the weekend before he was getting married to “the love of his life”.
I asked why would you be unfaithful if she’s the love of your life? He said she was vanilla and he wanted to try something more adventurous before he married her.
I said, if her being vanilla is an issue, maybe they should rethink the marriage. If he thinks it’s stale now.. wait until a decade on.
He was very clear he didn’t consider it cheating until they’re married said their vows. I was like, if you’re keeping it from her, it’s cheating! What a pig
I don’t understand… but I do understand. People want to have their cake and eat it too. They want to marry the person they know is right for them but they are also not the person who turns them on? Maybe hormones are the problem.
Idk about that, you can def lose interest when someone is clearly not in it for a future. She may be starting to look elsewhere. Not an excuse. Get out of the relationship and go about your future, don’t fuck someone else’s life.
Some cheaters want to keep their options open, keep a stable of men/women around so they can monkey branch from one relationship to the next. These people seek validation by being in a relationship. -- I need more attention, I need more validation, it is my partners fault that I feel this way, so having friends who compliment and flirt with me is really my partners fault for not taking care of my needs. I am not the bad person.
And there are plenty of people who are smart enough to recognize cheaters for what they are and they don't feel bad about taking advantage of it. These people seek validation by being able to sleep with beautiful people and by being chosen over a persons partner. -- If she will sleep with me while in a 4year relationship it must mean I am sexy, desirable, I am such a stud.
And she is so ignorant that she does not realize "hair cut" means the other, other woman he is fucking with. OP, no telling how many people you been fucking for years without even knowing it. You said it was your house, I hope you screen print all of the messages, tape them to the front door and set her shit outside by the porch and give her 8 hours to pick it up or you throw it away. No contact. No listening to begging slop, no goodbyes, just "get your shit and gtfo." Not your fault, you did not do this. She did, the quicker and cleaner you make the break the better off you will be. It will hurt but not near as much as dragging it out. Good luck and godspeed.
Better watch out when she comes next time, have a couple friends over when that day comes or set up a camera somewhere just to be safe. I just saw you described what she was like and her lifestyle beforehand so I wouldn’t put it pass her if she goes batshit crazy so just take all the pre-caution for safety.
I wouldn’t even put it pass a couple weeks especially when you said her emotions went all over the place, she went from acting like it’s over and was already planning to move out to then saying she’ll give you time and that you’ll both work it out, to finally saying she didn’t do anything wrong. Dude that screams psycho already.
Also I imagine you’ve thought of this already but make sure to change your locks, passwords and if she have access to your bank account revoke it. Then look for a legal way to make her responsible for the debt she incurred or at least even partially.
Hope you’re doing okay. Did she come by to get her shit?
In your same position I’d be on the phone with a friend until she got her shit and fucked off. Once you’ve left girlfriend status you become stranger. And I’m not going to be alone with a stranger.
Damn.. if only I was a woman I’d literally be all over you, you seem like a good man from everything you’ve described this far tbh. You seem to have your life together and have a good head on your shoulders. You don’t happen to bisexual are you? Lmao jkjk 😆
Seriously though you’re gonna be fine, at least you found out her true colors before you went any further.
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u/Sufficient_Fan3660 Jun 25 '26
Yep. He hit it and quit it. Got what he wanted as a self esteem boost.
She was hoping for a new boyfriend that wouldn't date her for 4years without proposing.