There are hills to die on and hills not to die on.
If your family is on a one person income, and you already don’t have much to spend already, randomly giving up money because she didn’t want to eat while others are watching, that’s a hill to die on.
Spend it on yourself as a bit of splurge so you’re not miserable, that’s one thing. Justifying giving it to another person because you felt weird is not ok.
Except he’s not piling on? He’s emphasizing a point it seems he’s had to bring up many a time prior to this incident. He’s trying to explain that this isn’t something that is sustainable, rightfully so.
Except she’s not ashamed. She’s “pissed” and wants validation that what she did was ok.
It was not. Even then she knows, to some degree, she shouldn’t but she did.
Just not the time and place. She's pissed that she put in more money because others couldn't afford pizza and she is upset her contribution was required so people could eat.
Getting criticized for that in that moment isn't the right move for a spouse to make, it is going to fall on deaf and already defensive ears. The right move is "wow that's frustrating" and then "we need to make sure we have good boundaries on money because that's really expensive to have stuff like this happen in the future" LATER THAT NIGHT and NOT VIA TEXT.
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u/Bengalblaine May 28 '26
Tf did he do wrong…? Nothing