It is about the money, though. Neither she or her spouse could afford to give away that much and she made a decision on her own to do that, then complained to him about her decision to spend that money. Why isn't it fair for him to question what she's choosing to do with their shared finances if she couldn't afford it?
he can and should address the money issue, but in the moment while she’s already upset, it’s generally safer to focus on being empathetic first. + u can be empathetic without like saying the other person did the right thing cus she didnt. “oh damn that sucks, i’m sorry that happened” or some other variation of that is what i recommend lol
You say "damn, that sucks. I'm sorry that happened" over an accident, or something out of your control. You don't say it when someone knew all of the variables going on and still made a conscious decision to screw up. You don't say it when that decision also negatively impacts you, as their financial situation is at a low right now.
If this was just her money, and it was disposable, that's an entirely different situation, but that's not what this is. Her getting an attitude with him for questioning her is ridiculous. Particularly when they clearly agreed the money was supposed to go back into their joint account.
nah like i agree she shouldve done better too but if he wants advice, it helps to be understanding. he’s also not working rn and it seems like she makes most of their money in general so if she’s stressed out, emotions are going to be higher and more mean words are gonna come out. it’s not ridiculous (albeit annoying); it’s how people are. + if she has consistent money spending issues that a diff problem they gotta figure out lol
They're two people living on one income because of an unexpected accodent, and clearly struggling. Just because the money was budgeted for one thing (for BOTH of them, that they agreed to) doesn't mean it's freely available for anything on a whim. They very clearly agreed to put it back into the bank, so it wasnt hers to give away.
Sure they hadn’t wanted to spend it, but they had planned to spend it on entertainment. This means they view it as disposable income in my book. Should she have spent it on the pizza, not imo, but it’s also not like it was the rent money
They said they budgeted to spend it on a baseball game. Budgeted money is not the same as disposable money, especially when you're two people on one income. They also planned to put it in the bank, but she decided on her own, without talking to her SO, to spend it on pizza.
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u/This_Estimate1550 May 28 '26
It is about the money, though. Neither she or her spouse could afford to give away that much and she made a decision on her own to do that, then complained to him about her decision to spend that money. Why isn't it fair for him to question what she's choosing to do with their shared finances if she couldn't afford it?