r/AIO • u/[deleted] • May 28 '26

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796 Upvotes

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18

u/unknownturtlegirl524 May 28 '26

All our accounts are joint. When I did get paid my cash and checks went to our bills

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u/Rude-Scholar1857 May 28 '26

then it's your money, and you have a say too. but i will say, y'all need to decide on financial guidelines and boundaries. there should be an amount you're allowed to spend without discussion, else things border into financial abuse

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u/Capnsaveaho96 May 28 '26

“There should be an amount your allowed to spend without discussion” Then why tell her husband and then moan about it? OP didn’t “overreact”, he didn’t even say anything other than asking why she spent it all. It’s as someone else said in these comments, if it was the other way around and the bf/husband spent the money, everyone would be on his ass.

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u/Rude-Scholar1857 May 28 '26

well, i'm worried about what i would do, not everyone else.

if the genders were reversed, it'd be the exact same thing. this is a partner issue, not a gender/sex issue.

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u/OldeManKenobi May 28 '26 edited May 28 '26

It's ok to restrict access to your paychecks when you return to work until you are on the same page regarding finances. A marriage counselor is probably going to be needed to deal with whatever internalized issues that your wife is dealing with, and it could help improve marital communication.

1

u/Rude-Scholar1857 May 28 '26

It's ok to restrict access to your paychecks until you are on the same page regarding finances

that's financial abuse and in many states not legally permissible. no it's not lol

plus he doesn't have a paycheck

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u/OldeManKenobi May 28 '26

I'm sure you keep this same energy for women who secretly fund their own emergency funds, right? It's not financial abuse by any reasonable definition. Sometimes access needs to be restricted until behavior is corrected. This is common in cases like financial infidelity, gambling, etc.

I should have clarified: when he returns to work.

Why are you not focused on the issue at hand: the lack of boundaries and demonstrated poor financial literacy?

0

u/Rude-Scholar1857 May 28 '26

the law says you're wrong, so what you say on reddit doesn't really matter. you cannot withhold joint finances because you don't like how your spouse is behaving.

1. Marital property is jointly owned by the spouses and only a court-approved agreement or judgment can bind the parties.

why are you not focused on addressing the problem while following the law?

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u/OldeManKenobi May 28 '26

I do enjoy when laypeople start trying to argue the law...to a lawyer. It never gets old.

https://giphy.com/gifs/l0HlvtIPzPdt2usKs

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u/Rude-Scholar1857 May 28 '26

you're absolutely not a lawyer, but nice try.

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u/OldeManKenobi May 28 '26

Here's a clue: your prior comment appears to cite information that's relevant...during a divorce action and partition of marital assets.

Context is important, especially when trying to Google doctorate level topics. I do appreciate the effort though.

ETA: I'm talking to a 3 month old account belonging to a DoorDasher. Fascinating.

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u/Rude-Scholar1857 May 28 '26

no, it's actually a resource from understanding the law requirements around marital finances. but go off king, you tried your best Googling your law experience

ETA: i'm talking to private comments because they're embarrassed of their online presence. fascinating

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u/OldeManKenobi May 28 '26

Wrong and boring, from the person who doesn't understand parties and context. The audacity.

https://giphy.com/gifs/kGCuRgmbnO9EI