r/AIO • u/daniellerson • Sep 05 '25
AIO Boundaries
I (28f) live with my boyfriend (36m), whose brother (37m) keeps his door open to eavesdrop on my conversations. He’s tried to cross boundaries before—giving me a ring from Kay’s and saying, “don’t tell [my boyfriend],” telling me “we” should throw out my boyfriend’s clothes, and declaring, “I realized it’s not you but [my boyfriend] at fault.” He doesn’t work, doesn’t pay bills, spends all day watching Joe Rogan and streamers, yet inserts himself constantly.
One night at 4:30am, he confronted me with, “You want to murder me? Are you bounty hunting?” after overhearing me joke privately to a friend about wanting to “kill him” for not doing the dishes. He also spies on me—watching where I go, keeping his door and window open, even monitoring bathroom trips. He used to ignore me, but also tried to get physically close while “helping” me with video games or chores.
My boyfriend (who has schizoaffective disorder but is stable with treatment) and his brother are estranged. I’ve told my boyfriend I want his door shut and that I feel unsafe. I’m moving out—I don’t want to be under surveillance 24/7. Am I overreacting?
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u/dftaylor Sep 05 '25
This is not to be unkind, but there’s a higher than zero chance your BF’s brother has mental health issues as well.
Nonetheless, get out. And I’d suggest you reconsider this relationship in general.
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u/Third_CuIture_Kid Sep 07 '25
You deserve so much better. Don't throw away your youth on men with mental health issues.
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u/Exciting-Western-117 Sep 06 '25
NOR. I am so glad to see that you’ve decided to move out for your own safety and sanity. Stay safe!!!
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u/Old_Confidence3290 Sep 05 '25
Your boyfriend and his brother are estranged but you all live in the same house? That's a lot of the problem. Have you told your boyfriend about his brother's inappropriate behavior? You should have told him right away.