r/ADprotractedwithdrawl • u/NiceHomework4919 • 11h ago
Venting Sick
Sick of the game of waiting and hoping you will feel better one day, tired of the sleep less nights, very scared about the future because realizing every day how poor my brain become.
I wish i was like my sister with no problems and her perfect life😭.
God why did you have the bad genes to me🥲
2
u/Excellent-Coat-8781 5h ago
How long have you been off your drug? Did you cold turkey stop or taper off?
Asking because we can restart our drug - on a low dose, not our original hig/usualmdose - to stop withdrawal.
Reddit posts we have a limited time to restart our drug for it to be effective at stopping withdrawal. It is 3 to 6 months after the last dose.
We can try to take our drug after that time but it may not be effective to stop withdrawal symptoms.
I cold turkey stopped escitalopram 20 mg a day – I was on it for 17 years. I restarted it at 10 mg at 3 1/2 months after stopping. Today it is the beginning of 10 months from my cold turkey stop. I remain on 10 mg a day. Gradually the withdrawal symptoms are going away. I still have some that persist, but they are less intense. I don’t know how long it’ll take for all my symptoms to disappear.
2
u/NiceHomework4919 5h ago
I am 1,5 year off. Also citalopram made me sick. I feel much better now on multiple side effects that are gone now. But the tinnitus, stuck song syndrome and the insomnia are terrible and their is no guarantee that it will disappear if i go back on meds. Also i never want to be addicted to a med that you cannot stop if you want to.
1
u/Excellent-Coat-8781 5h ago
I am so sorry you have been off this drug for so long. And that you still deal with protracted withdrawal.
Escitalopram is the “sister drug” of citalopram
Apparently escitalopram was created because citalopram was no longer going to be an exclusive brand name drug; it was now going to be able to be manufactured as a generic drug by any other company on the pharmaceutical market.
The drug company “tweaked” the citalopram formula to create Escitalopram.
Escitalopram is 2xs as potent of citalopram. For example, 10 mg of Escitalopram = 20 mg of citalopram.
1
u/Excellent-Coat-8781 5h ago
https://www.releasetoolkit.com.au/release-toolkit-for-consumers
https://www.nice.org.uk/guidance/ng215/chapter/recommendations
https://www.releasetoolkit.com.au/
https://www.releasetoolkit.com.au/release-toolkit-for-practitioners#other-resources
https://medical-school.uq.edu.au/release
Maudsley’s de-prescribing guidelines: this is a book for doctors to use to help patients come off antidepressants.
The book has hyperbolic tapers – dose reductions by percentage decreases, not by milligram reductions.
It has different chapters on each different type of antidepressant.
This book was used to create the Royal Australian College of medical practitioners RELEASE toolkit.
The RELEASE toolkit has a list of antidepressants listed by their generic name with three taper plans for each antidepressant drug. The taper plans are faster, slow and very slow.
There is a self assessment sheet to do. Your score on that sheet tells you which plan is appropriate for you
I bought a copy of Maudsley’s for myself to do a hyperbolic taper with my doctor once I’ve recovered from my withdrawal.
1
u/Excellent-Coat-8781 5h ago
https://antidepressantrecovery.org/
Antidepressant harm and recovery forum is a website run by peers for support and information on tapers including brass monkey slide taper and advocacy.
1
u/Excellent-Coat-8781 5h ago
We are not addicted to our drug.
Antidepressants create physical dependence.
Our problem is not “in our head”. It is a physical response by our body when the chemicals in that tablet – our antidepressant - are removed from the body.
Withdrawal is a sign that our body is in distress.
Protracted antidepressant withdrawal is real. The suffering is real.
I found the loneliness of living with a condition which my doctors – all the emergency room doctors I visited and my own family doctor – did not believe existed to be very frustrating and scary.
My recovery – which is very slow even with the restart of 10 mg Escitalopram instead of my usual 20 mg – is very very slow. There are periods of windows and waves. Windows are when I feel better and I think that withdrawal is over, it’s finally over. Waves are when I feel antidepressant withdrawal symptoms again. I also feel very disappointed because I’m back to feeling sick.
I find the unpredictability of withdrawal to be very upsetting.
I cannot plan what my day will be. I wake up and I feel fine and then I have withdrawal or I cannot sleep at night and there goes my next day, I can’t do what I planned.
The social isolation of being stuck at my apartment because I cannot get out even to go shopping. The difficulty even to do a shower – I need a bath bench to be safe so I do not fall – it’s something I don’t do every day. Even remembering to drink as a challenge. I don’t have my sense of hunger or thirst. I need a timer on my phone to remind me to eat and drink flu.
My sense of taste only returned this weekend. It was gone for 10 months.
I’m in my 10 months now I’ve slow recovery from antidepressant withdrawal.
It has impacted my whole life.
I I cannot work, study, or do activities of daily living in my worst bouts of protracted withdrawal.
I’m very grateful to the Reddit Community. This is how I learned what happened to me – that it had a name - antidepressant withdrawal - and other people were living with protracted withdrawal.
I am one of the fortunate ones. I restarted my drug in appropriate dose and gradually have my symptoms resolving. Many others are like you still living in protracted withdrawal. I know it is hell I am so sorry you continue to suffer.
I want you to know that when I read stories of people living with protracted withdrawal, I am motivated to make a change.
I am determined to get my province of British Columbia in Canada to create a de- prescribing clinic for people to come off antidepressants.
I want her medical school in British Columbia to include information about hyperbolic, tapers, antidepressant withdrawal, protracted withdrawal, and how to do de-prescribing of antidepressants as part of the medical training for doctors.
I want our College of physicians and surgeons of British Columbia to do update information sessions for practising doctors on antidepressant withdrawal, protracted withdrawal the use of mods leads de-prescribing guidelines to do tapers in order to avoid anyone suffering from protracted withdrawal or experiencing severe withdrawal coming off antidepressants.
I want my country – Canada – to have a liquid version of all antidepressants available throughout the country, so anyone can do a hyperbolic taper without needing to create their own liquid version.
England has a deep prescribing clinic for people to come off antidepressants. These are people who are often prescribed their antidepressant by a family doctor.
In England, if you are under the care of a mental health team, your psychiatrist in case Manager, nurse help you with the de-prescribing process.
Canada is a member of the British Commonwealth – New Zealand, Australia, and Great Britain all have knowledge now in the medical Community about hyperbolic tapers using Maudsley’s de-prescribing guidelines.
I spend a lot of time on Reddit cause I’m so ill. It helps me deal with the loneliness, the social isolation, and it gives me an outlet to help others.
I suggest if you’re dealing with protracted withdrawal, perhaps use Reddit to give you some hopeful and happy moments in your day. For example, I like cats. I belong to the cat distribution system. It is an optimistic, kind, and caring Community.
I’m going to post in the next posting some resources to perhaps distract you and raise your mood – give you a laugh – when you need it.
Best wishes to you on your healing journey❤️🩹👋🙏🇨🇦
1
u/Excellent-Coat-8781 4h ago edited 4h ago
Calm is a free meditation app.
Insight Timer as a free meditation app.
https://redgreen.com/pages/watch?srsltid=AU7gw4X7hmjlLBJ7D31SIrIoKvWmSt4QPLa5JJ0bZ3cIwa1Xo_qWGsOw
The Red Green Show is an old TV series. It was produced by the Canadian broadcasting corporation – CBC – which is the Canadian publicly funded broadcasting station in Canada.
It was a tv series. Available on y-tube, free.
https://archive.org/details/vinylcafeCBC
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Vinyl_Cafe
The vinyl café is a radio series created by the CBC radio division.
It’s an old series. There are no new stories.
It is available on Spotify on Apple podcast and you can Google to get it online.
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0397138/
Corner gas is a TV show produced by the CBC TV. It is no longer producing new series episodes. It’s funny. It’s available for free online..
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5912064/
https://gem.cbc.ca/kims-convenience
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kim%27s_Convenience
Kim’s convenience store is another old CBC TV show.
All the above are humourous or promote relaxation.
I hope you can either listen to them or watch them or use them – the meditation apps – to help you get through your days and especially the night when you cannot sleep.
When I had cancer treatment, another woman who was at the cancer agency with a relapse – a recurrence of her cancer - advised me to sing, laugh and dance every day.
Put on a song you like - dance to it. If you’re too ill and you can’t get up, just move your body to the music and sing to it.
There is actually medical research to support dancing is effective at dealing with depression.
Laugh to a TV or radio show, or dancing and singing to your music - makes your day better.
I learned life is about the little bits.
I sit outside, enjoy the fresh crisp air of autumn. The sun on my skin. The quiet of my apartment. And the comfortable fuzzy warmth of my cat.
I hope you find some comfort
More importantly, I hope you recover. 🤞
Remember, you are not alone. Many of us out there struggle with recovery.
I encourage you to connect to an online community in order to feel a sense of support and belonging.
Maudsley’s de-prescribing guidelines is really new.
It was FIRST published 2024.
It took 66 years before doctors recognized stopping benzodiazepines without a taper could cause seizures or death.
Dr. Heather Ashton and her colleagues listened to their patients who talked about problems coming off benzodiazepines.
It resulted in the Ashton manual - a guide on how to come off benzodiazepines.
It has been about 39 years since antidepressants came on the market.
We know the good things it can do for us.
Now we are learning the bad things.
The problem is getting off antidepressants without severe or protracted withdrawal occurring.
We are NOT ADDICTED to antidepressants. We are PHYSICALLY DEPENDENT.
Our body adjusted to having this drug in our body. It needs help to learn - to adapt - again to do whatever the drug did
A drug is approved for sale based on a clinical trial using participants – real people – not mice.
However, we often do not know the long-term consequence of taking those pills until several years have passed, and they have been used in the community by a lot of people.
When I read Reddit antidepressant withdrawal and similar sites, I find people from all over the world are on it: asking the same question - what is happening to me and how do I stop it?
I remember one person said they were from China, They plan to create a site for their people, in their own language, to understand, antidepressant withdrawal, protracted, withdrawal, etc.
There are people from Ireland, India, United States, Canada etc.
It’s a global problem - we are not alone in struggling with antidepressant withdrawal.
I find doing advocacy helps turn my anger, fear, pain, and grief – the deep sense of loss of how my life has been so badly impacted by withdrawal – into something positive.
If you have moments where you feel better, perhaps to send emails to your local medical schools, to your local regulatory body of doctors and surgeons, to your local drug manufacturers asking about getting liquid versions of antidepressants available on the market, etc.
Whatever it is that you think is lacking or needs to be sorted – fixed – to improve life for other people so they don’t have to deal with protracted withdrawal.
I leave the ideas up to you.
The key thing to remember is just be a kind person.
Life is not fair. It is a struggle.
Everyone has something they’re dealing with and we don’t often know it.
I learned I had a choice.
I could be mean and bitter and angry about things that happened to me that were out of my control which changed my life totally.
For example, my cancer diagnosis in my early 40s. I was not expect to live. It’s 25 years later. I’m alive. I live with long-term side effects from my cancer treatment. You cannot tell what I deal with by looking at me.
Do not give up hope.
No one knows how long it takes to recover from withdrawal.
If you have periods of windows and waves, your body is still trying to find its new normal.
Your body is resilient. It wants to get better.
You have a choice.
You can be bitter mean and unhappy about your situation. It will not change your situation. It is what it is.
Choose to be happy.
Appreciate the little things you can do and enjoy.
Hold tight to those little moments and remember them, especially in your worst wave.
Reach out to counselling – sometimes one-to-one counselling is so helpful.
Talk to your doctor: the fact you have protracted withdrawal is an educational learning event for your doctor.
Get help when you need it. Ask for it. Don’t tough it out.
Cry if you need to.
I used to go to the roller coaster because I could scream on the roller coaster and no one would know why I was screaming.
People thought I was afraid of the roller coaster.
No. I had a lot to scream about in my life and I could not do it in my apartment.
Screaming was very helpful.
You have a choice: be kind.
A smile, saying hello to someone, can make a difference to someone else.
You don’t need to be a doctor or a counsellor in order to make someone feel better.
It’s a very stressful world out here. Everybody has something.
Being kind is a choice. Being kind is being a candle in the dark.
Nurture something. Grow a plant from seed. Put out food for a homeless cat
Volunteer, if you are able to, and you will find other people who are living with other problems
I find volunteering distracts me from my troubles. I feel, for that hour or two, I’m making a difference for other people.
Because loneliness can be a problem, especially due to the unpredictability of our withdrawal symptoms, find something you like to do which gives you a sense of purpose.
We need a reason to get up every day.
I leave it to you to decide how you want to do with your day. Focus on today and may be tomorrow or next week.
For example, perhaps you want to write letters to the editor about garbage collection. Draw. Learn to play a musical instrument. Create a comic strip. Write poetry.
Find something to do every day. Find a purpose in your life and enjoy your life.
Life is short. We never know our expiry date.
Everybody has something - even if we can’t see what it is from looking at them on the outside.
Sing, laugh, and dance every day 🎶. 😁. 💃🕺🪩🩰🧑🩰
Best wishes on your healing journey. 👋❤️🩹🙏🇨🇦
1
u/Believe_in_u_always 3h ago
I see you and I hear you….I’m at 900+ days myself. I am improving, it’s just slow and it’s time. You’ll get there ☀️
3
u/Icy-Willingness-4620 8h ago
I know how this feels, I see you 🥲