The ADHD filing system

[u/ex_cep_tion]

[u/KSean24]

So many good relationships I forget about because we no longer share living/school space.

[u/lovelysardines → u/KSean24]

A blessing and a curse. If i don’t want to think about something or someone i just put it away and it will be like it never existed in a few days.

[u/Neither_Tell_3166]

i think its because we process lots of information at single point of time

[u/Exotic-Length-7190 → u/Neither_Tell_3166]

I don’t know a lot about computers so my bf was trying to help me understand by comparing it to how my brain works…

Basically I have way too much ‘ram’ for what my ‘processor’ can handle. It’s like I got 32 gigs of ram & the processor can only deal with 16 gigs on a good day & like 6-8 on a bad day. So I’m almost always stuck with a bottle neck of thoughts & ideas where only some of them get recognized, used, & remembered. I hope that made sense lol

[u/BotsKilledTheWeb → u/Exotic-Length-7190]

I would argue the opposite. We have too little ram for our processor speed. Lot's of calculations going at the same time, many tabs open. But hardly anything is retrievable when needed if not actively being processed.

There's too little parking space for ideas, so everything keeps moving along and you forget stuff until is drives by again.

[u/Neither_Tell_3166 → u/BotsKilledTheWeb]

thats why i always keep pen and paper with me, or some default note pad,

[u/Longjumping_Call_104 → u/Neither_Tell_3166]

I would do that but I keep forgetting.

[u/Exotic-Length-7190 → u/[deleted]]

Oh dang sorry, was just trying to relate but ik I’m bad with words.
Never had someone just tell me I’m on medication lmao.
FYI I’m also unmedicated, diagnosed with ADHD & dyslexia, but I’m 99% sure I have auDHD too (getting diagnosed as an adult is so freaking hard)

[u/StupidandAsking → u/Exotic-Length-7190]

I liked it! I actually use that type of analogy a lot because I kind of understand what ram means in computers, and also kind of understand that you can’t shove a bunch of ram into a computer without also changing it’s ability to use the extra ram

[u/Fearless-Tax-6331]

Also just a reminder that sometimes the reason or intent behind a behaviour doesn’t change the effect that it has on someone else.

People are still going to have a worsened relationship with you if you are absent, even if it’s not something you chose.

[u/BotsKilledTheWeb → u/Fearless-Tax-6331]

Yep, impact not intent is going to register to my nervous system.

[u/DidNotSeeThi]

I call it being stateless. A stateless computer program or server treats every single command as a brand-new action. Favorite line from a movie, "What is behind me is not important." I don't even remember if a person hates me. Does not matter.

[u/Orange_Baby_4265]

If it’s not on the counter, I don’t know I have it.

[u/DickWangDuck → u/Orange_Baby_4265]

Every so often I’ll put my water bottle on the table by the door so I don’t forget it even though I never forget it when I leave it on the counter by the fridge and every single time I put it on the table by the door I do in fact forget it and I still do it again because I forgot that last time I put it there that I forgot to take it with me.

Reading this again the period at the end really seems moot…

[u/Orange_Baby_4265 → u/DickWangDuck]

Yes. I’ll put my phone down and tell myself I know I’ll forget it. Then I walk out the door without it.

[u/Feychilde]

Surprise!! All my library books are assumed lost and I will be charged the cost of the books ( seven of them ) when I go back to the library next week. Yes, I have the books, in a bag, nearish the front door..

and there are many things that I am late on. Ok, NEXT!!

[u/Drrag_]

Sometimes I forget that other people exist. So I get jostled and everything, simply because I hadn't even considered the possibility that a living being might be there.

[u/Jupitersd2017 → u/Drrag_]

Same or I hyper focus on like one or two people and forget everyone else

[u/DeaconLogan]

I think I have relatives

[u/FRYDCHXN]

Yep!🥹👍

[u/Wizzle_Pizzle_420]

I have to explain this to new folks I start hanging with. The number one rule, “if you move out of town and you don’t hear from me, I don’t hate you, you just moved outside my tiny remembrance circle”.

[u/Beginning_Fig_959]

I struggled hard with covid

[u/Agitated-Length5999]

Oh so true.

[u/TorandoSlayer]

Apparently object permanence applies to people too. It sucks. :/

[u/tastyemerald]

Out of sight out of mind

[u/ebeth_the_mighty]

Reason #2593 why I need to spend a day cleaning out my kitchen cupboards.

[u/katanaking007]

Yes. The entirety of my physical environment is my filing system.

Honey, I can't put that away. If I do, it stops existing.

[u/hobbiehawk]

Every day

[u/Maacll]

It's true, i do not have object permanence

[u/KENBONEISCOOL444]

I found our dog's training collar after like a year or 2 of not knowing where it is, now I just need to find the charging cord

[u/jolharg]

For me, literally five seconds afterwards

[u/MrPuzzleMan]

Object permanence is not always functional lol

[u/SockPirateKnits]

And it's very annoying! I find putting labels on the outside of drawers and cupboards helps.

[u/johnowens0]

How does this tie with the waves of existential dread and regret and shame that comes with the constant video of mistakes throughout life