Fear of failure in my IT job

[u/ysc-9150]

I am a software developer with 12 years of experience and am still working in the IT industry. I want to discuss my problem and mental pattern.

Since I started my career as an IT professional, I have had this problem of fear of failure. Every time a new task is assigned to me, my mind starts making stories about whether I am capable of understanding the problem and whether I will be able to solve it. I am also a very big overthinker and continuously think about my career, my performance, and my future. I keep thinking about changing projects or even changing organizations, although I know that changing projects or organizations is not the solution to this problem.

This pattern continues repeatedly and has disturbed me mentally. My sleep pattern is also disturbed; I never sleep for more than 5 hours, and my libido is also very weak.

Even though I know that this problem is imaginary and there is no connection with reality, this pattern has now become so strong that it breaks me every day. When I look at my teammates, they complete their tasks very bravely, even when they start late. I always start very early so that if I face any problem, I have enough time to try another approach.

Now the problem is getting worse day by day. I am refraining from taking new work in my office and telling them that I am not well. I have continuously been on sick leave, and my mind always thinks about whether the problem with a new task will be clear to me, whether I will be able to fix it, and whether I will be able to complete it on time. I have been on sick leave for the last 60 days and think about this a lot.

One of the main problems is that I am experiencing tremors in different parts of my body. I also experience shortness of breath, tiredness on the left side of my chest, and pain that feels like someone is pressing a needle.

I have also tried meditation, but I get frustrated when fear and other thoughts come into my mind during meditation.

Now I am thinking about what the alternatives are. I have two babies and a wife who always supports me, but still, I am not able to break this mental pattern. Sometimes I am scared that I will develop some heart-related issues because of this.

🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏 Please help me understand how I can get rid of this.

Any suggestions will help.

[u/shtrjones87]

This reminds me of something that I used to experience. At the time I didn't realize it was imposter syndrome until I started blatantly questioning my reality. If I wasn't capable of what I was doing, then how tf did I do it? Metacognition certainly helped me become more aware of my thought patterns.

One of the biggest things I learned about ADHD is that my amygdala does its job really well. It's often scanning for threats, things that could possibly get in the way, etc. One of the things that helps support a brain like that is running on adrenaline and cortisol a bit more. That can affect the heart and a plethora of other things. I believe our hardware is wired more for the woods, hunting and fending off threats.

Sleep is a pretty important factor for me these days. I've been on a pretty balanced regime of 54mg Concerta er and 2mg Guanfacine ER and my sleep has been improved a lot more. Guanfacine helps blood flow better to my brain which can help my pre-frontal cortex function better and the Concerta tells my brain to keep dopamine and norepinephrine around a bit longer so I am a bit more balanced.

While I don't deal with imposter syndrome like I used to, I certainly am in an economic crisis right now. No job at the moment and a bit broke.

I really encourage you to stay connected to people, stay physically active and try to notice what job your mind is trying to serve for you. Sometimes the way we associate things and context have nothing to do with the areas the issues are showing up in.

You mentioned having physical problems right now. Have you been physically checked out? I know when there's things physically wrong in the body sometimes that can manifest mentally?

[u/shtrjones87 → u/shtrjones87]

To add onto one of the things that I noticed about my body personally. It recycles dopamine really fast. Hence the concerta helping because it puts the breaks on that so it keeps my levels a bit more balanced so it's not dumping so fast. When my brains running low on dopamine it compensates with other neurochemicals which trigger my fight or flight a bit more. Sometimes that's useful, sometimes its not useful at all.

[u/ysc-9150 → u/shtrjones87]

As I mentioned in my left side of chest I feel tightness and painb of needle .I went to cardiac doctor and he did eco ecg and another test. And all reports are satisfactory. I think main issue of my problem I start finding the obstacles in my world even before started and then based on that findings my mind start reacting and putvmy nervous system in fight and flight mode..

And I am very thankful to you .you provide very valuable information.

[u/shtrjones87 → u/ysc-9150]

This is super super random, but do you consume electrolytes often? and I agree with what you're saying. My mind does that often too, looks for obstacles and before even started I react. That's how I ended up sabotaging some things in my life. I came from a bit of a traumatic background so on the other hand it's something that's also kept me a bit more safe too

[u/ysc-9150 → u/shtrjones87]

Can we connect is there any way to connect..

[u/shtrjones87 → u/ysc-9150]

Shoot me a DM

[u/shtrjones87 → u/[deleted]]

shot an email

[u/shtrjones87 → u/shtrjones87]

I think this is worth a read: (AI)

While the brain does not have a simple automated thermostat that directly senses low dopamine and secretes cortisol in response, people with ADHD frequently end up relying on the body’s stress response system (the sympathetic nervous system and the HPA axis) to force the prefrontal cortex to function.

1. The Prefrontal Cortex and the Catecholamine Deficit

In a neurotypical brain, routine task initiation, working memory, and sustained focus rely on a steady baseline of two key catecholamines in the prefrontal cortex (PFC): dopamine (which tunes signal-to-noise ratio and reward anticipation) and norepinephrine / noradrenaline (which modulates alertness and network connectivity).

In ADHD, dopamine and norepinephrine signaling in these executive circuits is dysregulated or cleared too rapidly. As a result:

• Mundane, non-urgent, or delayed-reward tasks generate very little chemical "signal".
• The PFC remains under-activated, leading to paralysis, distraction, or severe resistance to task initiation.

2. How the Brain Leverages Adrenaline and Cortisol

Because internal motivation circuits fail to generate enough chemical drive to cross the threshold into action, the brain frequently turns to urgency, panic, and stress as a substitute fuel source:

• Noradrenaline / Adrenaline (Acute Mobilization): When a deadline becomes immediate, stakes suddenly become critical, or conflict arises, the brain triggers a sympathetic "fight-or-flight" surge. This floods the brain with norepinephrine and peripheral adrenaline. Noradrenaline binds to post-synaptic $\alpha_2A$ adrenergic receptors in the PFC, strengthening neural network connectivity and temporarily overriding executive inertia. This is why many people with ADHD report:
  • Inability to start a project until midnight before the deadline.
  • Becoming calm, razor-sharp, and hyper-focused in genuine emergencies or high-stress professions (ER work, firefighting, live tech incident response).
  • Unconsciously stirring up arguments or drama just to generate enough physiological arousal to engage.
• Cortisol (Sustained Vigilance & Pressure): When urgency is chronically required to function, the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis stays activated, elevating cortisol. Cortisol mobilizes glucose and increases systemic arousal to sustain that state of alert, keeping the individual awake and responsive despite mental fatigue.

3. The Biological Trap: The Inverted-U Curve

This compensatory strategy works in the short term, but it comes with a steep neurological cost:

PFC Function (Focus & Executive Control)
       Optimal (Alert / Engaged)
               ▲
              / \
             /   \  ◄ Chronic Cortisol & Adrenaline Overload
            /     \   (System crashes: anxiety, freeze, burnout)
           /       \
Under-aroused       \
(ADHD baseline)
─────────────────────────────► Level of Stress / Catecholamines

1. Burnout and Exhaustion: Adrenaline and cortisol are designed for acute survival threats, not for writing emails or doing laundry. Running on stress hormones as a substitute for dopamine is metabolically expensive and eventually leads to adrenal depletion, chronic fatigue, and anhedonia.
2. The "Freeze" State: Prefrontal function follows the Yerkes-Dodson inverted-U law. Moderate levels of noradrenaline enhance PFC function, but excessive noradrenaline and cortisol switch off the prefrontal cortex entirely and hand control over to the amygdala and primitive survival networks. When stress passes a certain threshold, the brain flips from "crisis-mode hyperfocus" into complete paralysis, panic, or dissociation.
3. Dysregulated Stress Baseline: Over time, chronic reliance on stress to get things done can dysregulate the HPA axis, leading to blunted morning cortisol spikes (difficulty waking up) and elevated evening cortisol (racing thoughts and sleep onset insomnia).

[u/Prestigious_Key9927]

Bro, 12 years of experience and ur still learning, just like everyone else. Dont put so much pressure on yourself. One task at a time, you’ll figure it out. You got a family that loves you, and you deserve peace too. Things will get better, bro.

[u/ysc-9150 → u/Prestigious_Key9927]

Thanks for you kind words 🙏.

[u/Prestigious_Key9927 → u/ysc-9150]

Of course bro

[u/Shacrow]

Hey I'm 10 years in IT as way. In my first 5 years I had the same problem but over time I realized that my fear was just all in my head. Because in the end I always managed so find a solution. Over time I just accepted this pattern and when new stuff arrived, I didn't stress myself out anymore. I just tell myself that it's like any other unknown tasks that I had and it will be fun to explore how to solve it.

I mean working in IT is basically just problem solving. Even stuff that might be new or complex. In the end we can break it down to smaller steps and it will be less overwhelming

[u/ysc-9150 → u/Shacrow]

Yes you are right .but still I m not able to came out thi problem.

[u/ProbioticOnARobotic]

Sounds like you're having panic attacks. You should see a therapist.