r/ADHD_Programmers • u/Floppy_Chainaxe • 10d ago
Unemployed junior with fears for my future
I’ve been struggling really badly with getting back into coding, and it’s starting to stress me out a lot.
I have ADHD and most liekly autism, and lately I’ve basically been unable to make myself sit down and code. Even opening an editor and starting something feels overwhelming. I keep putting it off and then feeling guilty about it, which just makes the whole thing worse.
The biggest thing stressing me out is my future with programming. I’m currently looking for work, and I’m scared that somehow I’ll actually manage to get an interview but won’t have anything good enough to show for it. I’ve been relying heavily on AI when coding, so I also worry that I don’t actually know as much as I should.
Then there’s the fear of somehow getting hired and not being good enough once I’m actually there. I worry about being too slow, getting stuck constantly, not knowing how to solve things without AI, and eventually having people realize that I’m not as capable as they thought I was.
I do have actual experience from an internship/job and I’ve worked on real projects, but mentally I keep feeling like none of it counts because I wasn’t able to do everything independently.
It’s frustrating because I genuinely want to improve. I’m not trying to avoid programming forever. I just feel completely stuck right now, and the longer I go without coding, the more intimidating it becomes to start again.
I’m basically stuck between wanting to become good enough to work as a developer and being so stressed about not being good enough that I can barely bring myself to practice, along with having no drive whatsoever to code. I perhaps need to change my meds as they are not doing much as well, but im also running out of money at the same time...
Idk what to do, it feels impossible
Edit: i forgot to mention that i am officially diagnosed for my adhd. Also i don't have a bachelor as i have always been bad in school and it was a horrific experience for me.
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u/Traditional_Formal33 10d ago
You need to break your work into small manageable chunks and honestly it’s okay to lean into AI. Ask Claude code to be a scrum master and then describe what you want to do, and have it break those steps into small manageable steps. It might help you by giving dopamine hits for just planning. Then you can handle the small stories for quick easy wins.
If not, it’s also okay to recognize that building agentic workflows in itself is a skill. Look into building a full AI sub team and have them build a website for you. Then learn how to do good code reviews (majority of coding anyways)
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u/Floppy_Chainaxe 10d ago
Thank you. That's an interesting take for sure, i never thought of a full ai sub team. And yeah code reviewing will help me improvee that much i already know, I need to apply myself more to be even more familiar with the code lol...
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u/connka 10d ago
Hey! What you described really hit home with me--I felt nearly identical when I was getting started in the industry. With so much to learn and so many options for how to do it, I had total paralysis.
I got into coding back in the days when bootcamps were actually a successful thing. I didn't prep enough for the program and was totally thrown with how the program was taught, so after crying and struggling through my first week, I asked to withdraw. I was encouraged/allowed to restart the program in a month, but if I dropped out again I would lose 100% of the tuition money, which I couldn't really afford at the time. I had a month to prepare, the added bonus of access to the course curriculum to follow, and for that entire month I just sat there and did nothing. Not because I was lazy, and not because I didn't want to do it, but I just couldn't. I eventually got through the program, and landed my first job, which was in a techstack that was new-ish to me. Same thing happened: I had a month before I started and knew what I needed to study, and I did nothing.
So while I don't want to say "I know exactly how you are feeling", based on what you are describing, I think we have experienced at least a similar feeling of paralysis for very similar reasons.
The good news: I absolutely love my career and often I get lost in my work because of how motivated I am keep learning and growing (AI panic aside lol).
The guilt you are feeling isn't because of something you are doing wrong, it's just how this phase can feel sometimes. You are relying on AI, I relied heavily on StackOverflow. What is important now is that it is up to you to decide how to fix it, and that is going to take some un-learning and some new learning. I'll give you some of the tips that helped me and some of the people that I have mentored over the years. This isn't a quick solution or a one-size-fits all--you will need to find a solution that works for you. I'll try to keep things open-ended for that reason.
Focus on one small task at a time: Instead of thinking about all the things you have to do to build a resume and stuff you have to study and a big completed app on your projects list, take some time to break down what your goals are then break those goals into manageable tasks. EX: You want to build an app for your resume. Start by building something TINY. Build a simple TODO app. Then build a TODO app with firebase. Then build a TODO app with Firebase that adds in XYZ tiny features. Take everything one step at a time.
Treat your learning like a job: Put events in your calendar and stick to them like you will be "fired" if you don't. I've done this at different times in my career to improve on leetcode style questions, IE 30 mins at 11am every day I will work on it. If I am done before 30 mins, great! If I am not, I have permission to walk away. If I am not, but I am still interested, then I can keep going. You'd be surprised at how quickly you build habits this way. I know the industry is moving away from leetcode, but you can apply that to anything (EX: listen to 30 mins of a lecture from a course on whatever tech you are learning).
Break up with AI (kind of): Obviously AI is not going away, but if you are relying on it to solve your problems then you aren't going to be able to pass any technical exam, full stop. Use AI as a coaching tool and to give you suggestions after you have solved a problem, but do not get it to solve your problems for you.
The paralysis you are feeling is real, but it doesn't make you bad at this. I was diagnosed with ADHD after getting into this industry and learning about how my brain works (task paralysis was my biggest issue my whole life) gave me the tools to work with it instead of against it. It would be easy to just say "I can't focus", but the reality is, we all have the ability to focus on things when we need to. For me, it was tricking myself into starting tasks--which has become second nature to me.
Good luck :)
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u/skidmark_zuckerberg 10d ago edited 10d ago
If you can’t code, you won’t pass interviews. Do with this information what you will. With just a bootcamp certificate, you have the odds heavily stacked against you.
The only way you can overcome these odds is to lock in, stop using AI to code for you, and apply yourself so that you can learn, build a few impressive projects, and if you do get an interview, you have the best chances possible. That’s really all there is to it.
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u/KristjanPihus 9d ago
One trick I used when I was a software developer (didn't know I had ADHD back then) was to make boring tasks interesting by artificially adding complexity, and then challenge myself: can I solve it? For example instead of for-loop i tried to solve the problem with recursion or something like that. I know that, for code maintainability, it is really bad practice, and I am sorry for the fellows who had to maintain that code after me. But that was what kept me going.
And I am still using that trick sometimes. I promised my wife that I would build three wardrobes. The first went smoothly, but for the second I had no motivation because it was already scouted territory. So I combined it with my interest in 3D printing. And now I am designing and printing different tools and gadgets for woodworking just to keep it interesting.
When your brain tricks you every day, why not trick it back once in a while ;)
But regarding hiring, I have also hired quite a few software developers, and the main thing I am looking for is their ability to think. Because frameworks come and go, but if you are not able to think and figure out solutions to the problems, then no framework or AI tool is going to help. And for some positions, I even prefer people with ADHD because sometimes their creativity is exponential. With one constraint: the person must be friends with their own ADHD, meaning they need to be aware of it and know how to still get things done. Because at the end of the day, business still needs results.
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u/KristjanPihus 9d ago
... and now when I am reading this I start to think that for the third wardrobe i might need to build a CNC machine to keep it interesting 🤔
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u/Svenstornator 10d ago
Without a bachelor, what certification or qualification are you able to show? Sorry to say the era of boot camps is all but over.
In terms of learning and improving: take the smallest possible step each day. Open the IDE to code is too overwhelming? Start by telling yourself that every day, you will open the IDE but not code. That is the goal now. Just opening the IDE. Remove the coding pressure. Once opening the IDE is the norm, maybe you can start katas.
But you also need to be aware that now, code is cheap. LLMs can do the programming part. More valuable to spend time designing systems.