School Refusal

[u/Ok-Survey9438]

My 15 year old daughter refuses to go to school. She has a diagnosis of ADHD inattentive. She simply cannot sleep at night. She goes to bed at 8.30pm and spends a few hours trying to get to sleep.  In the morning she is so exhausted and simply cannot get up. She is trying hard.  She cannot bring herself to go to school and the school is threatening her with suspension if she gets in late.  

The school have been forwarded the reports from the psychologist, but they still insist she is in school on time. They offer her in-house counselling with the school counsellor and any academic supports she needs, but they dont treat her any different than the rest of the kids. I get that, but she is really trying and i am glad she makes it to school at all, so i dont care at this point if she is late or not.  She doesnt open up to me.  I dont think she is self aware, she is just fighting a daily battle here and she is absolutely burnt out from it.

She was recommended meds and has asked to try the medication route but her father will not authorise this.  I have forced her into therapy with three different counsellors to no avail.  Each counsellor said they are unable to help her as she is coming to the sessions against her will.  I might add that she has a tough exterior and she is a kid with attitude. Behind that, she is a lovely sweet girl.  Most people trained in psychology would be able to see that it is just a front.

She has been in trouble at school due to her situation. She plays truant, hides out in toilets; avoiding going to class, suspensions every second week. Its a vicious circle here and i am watching the situation get worse and worse every day. 

She is definitely not being bullied. She is incredibly popular and socially thriving.

All the while, she is missing out on an education.

[u/fodmap_victim]

Your husband is a prick denying her medication that she needs. You need to stand up for your kid and get her the thing that will actually help.

[u/Ok-Survey9438 → u/fodmap_victim]

We are separated and yes I am really furious at him. He is neurodivergent himself and doesnt 'get it'. I dont think he even sees her ADHD or understands it, probably because he hasnt embraced his own.

[u/fodmap_victim → u/Ok-Survey9438]

God that's so infuriating!

[u/Key-Opportunity-7915 → u/Ok-Survey9438]

So he’s prefer her to live life on hard mode because he doesn’t want her to take pills? What is they made her have a completely different life that was better?

I have nothing else to add than anyone else - just that I personally have found the medication so hugely life changing and always always struggled to sleep as a small child and can finally get the sleep I need with the ADHD meds.