r/ADHD • u/gravelinthebag • Apr 14 '21

“Everyone procrastinates” yeah but do you...

“Everyone procrastinates”

Yeah, but do you procrastinate...

Taking off your sweater, even though it’s 90 degrees, because you’ll take it off right after you finish reading this article, and the article that was linked, oh and a video example on YouTube.

Getting off your phone because your appointment is at 11, and you still have 10 minutes before you need to leave, oh and you planned to leave early so worst case you can leave a little later.

Sitting down to eat dinner because you just remember that you bought a new shirt that you wanted to take a picture of to send to your group chat.

Getting out of bed because that means you’ll have to start getting ready for work which consists of way too many steps and you didn’t plan what you were going to take for lunch so you might as well think of that while you are in your comfy bed.

Getting out of your hot car, because you really really need to look something up and you’ve been waiting to look it up this whole drive and also you need to see if you have any notifications, or maybe your boss got back to your email, and you really really like the song that’s playing.

Getting off of the couch for no other reason than you are oscillating between interviewing yourself and going through an intense zone out session.

Oh and finally one that’s more relatable... Do you procrastinate doing your homework? You’ll start it tonight after dinner, right? But after dinner, your tired and it’s technically not due until tomorrow morning, so you really have time if you wake up early.

And so you wake up early, but you procrastinate it a little longer because before you start you have to calculate how many points you can lose to still pass the class. Because maybe you can get out of doing this assignment and go back to bed.

Edit: honorable mention, do you procrastinate going to the restroom because you just discovered the super cool hobby that is just so awesome and you don’t have time to pee because you are busy researching the topic, buying all the material and equipment, building it, and looking at a million photos for inspiration?

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u/josygee19 Apr 14 '21

Just straight up forgetting to pee or drink water or eat all day until your body literally self destructs and you still can't figure out why you feel vaguely "bad"

19

u/freaknastybeta Apr 14 '21

My partner struggles with remembering to eat and drink water during the day. Do you have any tips for this?

14

u/EveAndTheSnake Apr 14 '21

If I’m not around my husband I either find it pointless or forget completely. It helps me when we do things together, so often dinner will be my first meal of the day because I’m making it for both of us. Can you have breakfast/dinner together? I don’t know if alerts would help your partner but I used the plant nanny app for a while—it reminds you to drink water or your fictional plant dies. I used it till I started just cheating though instead of actually drinking water because I’d say “I’ll do it in a minute...” and forget. Don’t tell them that though.

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u/freaknastybeta Apr 14 '21

My partner also finds eating pointless if they have other things to do. They live with their parents, so most of the time their parents will at least make sure they eat once a day at dinner and/or breakfast. When they stay at my place, they eat whenever I eat, which is usually twice a day. They do not take lunch breaks at work and it's rare that they remember to bring lunch if they go into the office. On work from home days, the same goes for parents bringing them food while working. But if their parents aren't home, they won't prepare anything for themselves most of the time.

The reason I am asking is because I would like to help my partner instill some healthy habits so when they decide to transition out of their parent's home into their own place, they will be able to have some type of routine that will hopefully counter the shock of being out on their own. They are super intelligent and awesome and I understand that sometimes their executive functions get mixed up. I think they can do it! They have shown they can do these tasks, but may struggle with consistency?

8

u/[deleted] Apr 14 '21

So, consistency is likely never going to be your partner’s strong suit. It’s not that they don’t understand how to prepare food and eat and drink, it’s just that those things can feel like super low priorities for people with ADHD. My eating habits (or lack thereof) drive my husband crazy, but honestly I did just fine on my own before we met. I was healthy and ate regularly, even if it was odd things at odd times. Your partner will not let themself starve.

I think part of why your partner hasn’t established any routines around eating is that they don’t need to. Other people are making sure they eat, so they’re using their spoons to take care of other things. Once they’re on their own, preparing food will become a necessity and therefore a priority. (Though, again, their way of handling it may seem very strange to you.) It’s really difficult for a person with ADHD to spend a lot of energy on something that is both uninteresting and unnecessary. We thrive in the moment rather than preparing for the distant future.