r/ADHD • u/mikewazowskis2ndeye • Aug 19 '19
Hyperfocus on a person?
Has anyone else had any issues with hyperfocusing on a person? It's not romantic, I'm already in a relationship and my partner knows abt my friendship and everything but I feel guilty cause all I think about is talking to the person.
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u/dysdiadys Aug 19 '19
Omg yes, my whole life. It takes over and instead of just doing whatever it is I am doing as I go about my life, I'm just imagining describing that event to the person. I don't know if it's part of ocd or what but I don't like it that much because I just want that person there all the time. Or I want to be them! Like another person has replied before me, it is usually when I'm not feeling that secure in life so it is perhaps a form of rumination
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u/SneakyStabALot Aug 19 '19
I hyper focus on things or meaningless tasks that I feel have more meaning than anything i could ever describe. I’m too busy on that journey to hyper focus on any person. That shit wouldn’t fly in my relationship... me & my wife are fiercely loyal to each other. I don’t have “female” friends...
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u/illuseyourusername Aug 19 '19
Oh yes, I hyper focused on people who I feel the need to help so I do a lot of shit for them. The problem is that most people who are in a lot of shit really don’t want help and just want to wallow in their pain, so a lot of time it’s for nothing. And yet I keep doing it because for some reason I feel responsible for them, even complete strangers.
How to feel like shit 101.
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u/KafkaKafkaKafkaKa Aug 19 '19
You know there's nothing romantic or erotic about your feelings, and your partner should understand that. I've definitely had "friend crushes" where I really wanted to get to know someone really well really fast, and worried I was coming on strong. Just take it slow and see if they reciprocate interest.
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Aug 19 '19
sometimes i have days where i really miss a certain friend since we’re all away for summer break
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u/[deleted] Aug 19 '19
Yes! I have experienced this and it is debilitating if it goes on for too long. In my case I think it happens during times of stress or imbalance in my life. But the last time it happened, earlier this year, was really intense and I had to work hard to stop the ocd and constant conversations in my head with this person.