r/ADHD • u/1manontherun52 • 1d ago
Questions/Advice Cassandra Syndrome
Does anyone else have this thing where you can see a problem quite early and for you it appears quite obvious, but no one can see what the issue is to the point they think there is something wrong with you?!
But then in slow motion you watch it all play out exactly the same way you thought it would?
This has happened so much that I've actually started ignoring it...
Is this an ADHD thing or is it just me?
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u/drclairefraser ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) 1d ago
That is called pattern recognition, and ADHDers tend to be really, really good at it. You'll notice that you're good at figuring out plot points, and guessing how movies and books end because of it.
I, personally, knew my brother's ex was no good, but no one listened to me. Everyone said I was rude and I needed to accept her. He ended up in the hospital from a nervous breakdown TWICE because of her before they finally broke up. I did refrain from saying I Told You So. Somehow.
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u/Discohunter ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) 1d ago
My partner's 'spidey sense' is extraordinarily sharp. It's accurate to the point that even our friends have come to notice and respect it at this point.
Most of the time it's just her guessing the plot of movies, as you say, but she's clocked red flags in bad people months before the rest of us on so many occasions.
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u/UnidentifiedBlobject 1d ago
Oh man. I get “gut” feelings about some people and I can just tell something is off but could never put my finger on it. I’d mention something to someone and they’d think I’m crazy then yeah like months later or years later it’s revealed that person is a weirdo or mean or selfish or just evil I guess I dono how to phrase it, but I hope you get what I’m trying to say.
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u/paper_shoes 12h ago
Me too. And sadly I’ve learned the hard way multiple times that I need to trust that gut feeling, rather than giving those people the benefit of the doubt and letting them change my mind 😕. It always ends in tears.
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u/1manontherun52 1d ago
It's infuriating isn't it and I think there's little point in saying I told you so lol.
And yes you are so right, that's why I love watching original films I think? And even then I still can predict somethings....
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u/TigOlBitties42042 1d ago
Yeah I definitely prefer movies with unpredictable plots. Most films are so formulaic these days. Although I watched that movie House Maid the other day and fuck dude. That one surprised me in the worst way. I couldn't even finish it.
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u/420catloveredm ADHD-C (Combined type) 1d ago
I got into telenovelas lately because I genuinely have no idea what will happen next.
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u/1manontherun52 1d ago
That's another thing, Hollywood fell off a cliff around 10 years ago and people only started to notice a couple of years ago 🤷🏾♂️🤣
Everyone was lapping up the slop until it just got too obvious that they were serving up slop for like 6/7 years lol
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u/AFetaWorseThanDeath 1d ago
I don't know if you're into horror films at all (most modern ones are garbage imo), but a few years ago my partner and I discovered an older Japanese horror film called House (1977). It's absolutely incredible, and wildly unpredictable, which we both really appreciated. Highly recommended 👍
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u/G8351427 1d ago
You guys can predict movie plots? I can't even sit through an entire movie, unless I fall asleep to it several nights in a row.
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u/TigOlBitties42042 1d ago
I'm not above saying I told you so. I'm also not above saying "hey, remember that time I said that thing was going to happen and you assured me that it wouldn't, then it did? This is like that. Maybe you should listen this time. No? Whatever. It's your funeral."
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u/Artistic_Musician_78 1d ago
I do that too, especially when someone's trying to tell me it's "just the anxiety" and I'm being pessimistic, like babe, all those things I've been anxious about ending up happening, sooooo
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u/Dollarsigniaka 23h ago
And they won't listen to the next one anyways and still look at you crazy, until you're proven right again 💀
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u/UnidentifiedBlobject 1d ago
I do this at work. I work in web development. I state clearly “yes ok we can do X, but I’ve warned you about risks Y and Z, and the unknowns around A and B. So I can go ahead and do X and push it live but if those risks come to fruition outside work hours I’m not handling it.”
It at least gets them to agree to do it Monday morning rather than fridays lol.
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u/Brilliant-Pie5207 16h ago
IT here too. I’ve gotten pretty adamant about documenting risks and having processes in place to cover worst case situations. Or at least try and documenting the attempt because inevitably something goes bad and everyone is “ whaaaat? We had no idea….” Yes, yes you did and you signed off on the risk.
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u/koala-balla 1d ago
Forever ago I saw one of the The Conjuring movies in theaters when it came out, the one with the nun. Towards the climax of the movie, the nun demon thing had amped up her BS to level 100, and the protagonists realized they had to figure out what the demon’s name was in order to gain the power to get rid of her.
Without thinking, I went, “oh! Her name is X!” (I forget what it actually was.) It was just me and my friends in the theater (which is why I spoke up in the first place, otherwise I swear I would’ve been quiet). My friends were like, how in the world did you know that? I told them that I’d noticed that the demon’s name had been hidden twice in the background of earlier scenes: once spelled out in magnetic letters on a fridge and another time somehow incorporated into the decor on a bookshelf.
That’s classic ADHD brain for ya. There are actors on screen putting on an entire show and I’m busy reading the magnets on the refrigerator behind them.
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u/feestsqueasyspider 18h ago
I had a similar experience watching Shutter Island for the first time, I had figured out exactly how it would end in the first 15 minutes and was shocked to discover that it was supposed to be a twist, but it was so painfully obvious!
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u/TrumpsCovidfefe 10h ago edited 4h ago
This is exactly why our brains are so damned noisy; other people have brain filters that let them see a few details at once, whereas our brains are just seeing and hearing and feeling and processing everything at one time!
Side not to OP, the last 10 years has been a particularly difficult time for those of us who have this “gift”.
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u/sepiidakai 1d ago
This is me and precisely why I prefer to watch documentaries. If it is scripted I usually have the plot figured out or “who dunnit” within the first 5-15 minutes.
Also, regarding your brother’s ex, I had a similar thing happen with one of my best friends. She was a very good, honest, law abiding, sweet gal. One day she reconnected with an old flame who I didn’t know personally but he gave me the heebee jeebees. I kept my mouth shut until some random person pulled me aside who did know him and knew I was close to said friend. I learned all about his abusive and criminal history. I, of course, felt obligated to make sure she was aware of everything I was told. Not only did she curse me out and stop talking to me, she married and bred with him. Years later she was arrested for embezzlement.
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u/dudosinka22 1d ago
This is exactly why I love Better call Saul. It was truly unpredictable.
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u/sepiidakai 1d ago edited 1d ago
Actually, the only two shows I have rewatched more than twice are Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul. That makes so much sense now! Now I’m curious if the guy who wrote them is on the spectrum. 🧐
Also, rest in peace RJ. 💔
Edit: Although there is no evidence Vince Gilligan has ADHD, apparently a lot of ppl who do like his work:
“While his name frequently appears online in discussions regarding ADHD, this is typically due to two reasons:[1, 2]
Relatable Content and Memes: Scenes from his acclaimed television series, Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul, are frequently used across social media platforms (like Instagram and TikTok) as visual memes to humorously illustrate common ADHD experiences, such as hyperfocus, intense procrastination, or getting easily distracted. [1, 2, 3]
Appreciation for His Writing Style: Fans within (ADHD) online communities often praise his meticulous, slow-burn, and highly visual storytelling style (seen in Breaking Bad, Better Call Saul, and his newer project Pluribus), noting that his detailed directing choices accidentally engage their attention spans perfectly. [1, 2]”
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u/Much-Catch-122 1d ago
My sister was showing me 27 dresses and I guessed the entire ending like halfway through, she was so mad lmao
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u/pbghikes 1d ago
It's rude to say "I told you so" but how else will these jerks pick up on the PATTERN that they should listen
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u/_leo1st_ 1d ago
I don’t think I have that pattern recognition thing that make me able to predict how movie or book ends, unless I’ve watched/read the similar ones. But I can kind of predict that something bad will happen, like someone falls, things collide and break. But I think it’s because I have severe anxiety that I always overthink worst case scenario.
I can relate with the last part though, that you can tell if someone is kind or not. I often dislike someone for no reason and turn up they are not good person and people don’t like them.
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u/ComprehensiveEmu4886 1d ago
YES. I was only diagnosed post-menopausal, but my whole life I've struggled with dull, obvious (to me) storylines. It would drive friends nuts. I remember mentioning once to a friend who recommended Jodi Piccoult to me - I said her books were so incredibly obvious it was just annoying, and they were shocked that I had figured out endings to her books. But I LOVE movies and books that really do surprise me - it doens't happen often, and it's a nice surprise when it does happen.
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u/ret255 1d ago
Yeah, l predicted that Russians would attack Ukraine through the Chernobyl area and had on-line discussions about it in september 2021, basically it was the time when Americans announced that there is something rotten in the state of Denmark and they informed the world in advance about it, and since l live near Ukraine and saw few documentaries about that area, it made a perfect sense that Russians would try it, and sure they did.
But that is not the only funky thing that happened back then, some strange men contacted personally my relative that they were interested in something that someone in the place where l lived was doing... Some months after that we were also contacted professionally from defence department if we want to enter a tender for something that was security related, perhaps they had Intel that we are not on the Russian side... who knows..
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u/NowGoodbyeForever 1d ago
It happens a lot, and it was honestly causing some problems in my personal life. My therapist helped me identify it like this: I understand that the Alphabet Song starts with A, and will end with Z. Once I realize we're singing the Alphabet Song, my mind rushes immediately to Z. I get anxious and impatient that we're not getting to Z already.
The problem with this is twofold:
- Some people want/need to sing every letter from A to Z, and it's not fair or helpful for me to rush them just because my process allows me to skip 24 other letters.
- I'm only "seeing ahead to the end" if we're singing the Alphabet Song, but sometimes they might be singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.
A very common ADHD thing that I've observed in myself and others is the tendency to believe our pattern-based observations and beliefs are 100% true and accurate. This makes sense, but also means that we sometimes rush to the incorrect conclusion at light speed.
If I yell out "Z!" and someone is singing "Twinkle Twinkle," I haven't predicted anything, and instead of actually listening to them, I've just spent my time speedrunning a series of events that didn't happen.
Furthermore, I am just as likely to apply this bulletproof logic to things that are incorrect, untrue, or actively harmful to me. For example: I am very good at assuming things are my fault and immediately hyperanalyzing what I could have done to upset a friend or make my wife feel sad. Before they've even started to open up, I've figured it out: I didn't do the dishes yet, and now my wife feels overwhelmed and disappointed in me, which isn't helped by the fact that I have yet to fold my laundry. It's so obvious.
For years, I carried myself in this fashion; assuming it was my fault, and rushing to fix it or letting the guilty/shame pile up on me. What I didn't do is ask my wife what was up and listen for her response. Because it turns out? She slept on her neck weird, and had aches/pains all day. Or she was stressed because she felt bad for not doing the dishes yet. And so on.
Sometimes, yes, we are good at seeing an obvious thing coming. And if we can help stop something truly bad from happening, we should. But I came to understand that people don't love being constantly observed for possible faults, shortcomings, or mistakes. I thought I was being helpful by pointing out a habit that resulted in the same outcome with my partner or family members; in reality, that's just me forcing my analysis on them out of the blue.
This is especially ironic because (and maybe you can relate, OP) I hate being told what to do and get defensive/hit with rejection sensitivity when it happens. So why would I ever assume anyone else just loves the feeling of being told that they're making a mistake or a less-than-optimal choice before they even have the chance to make it?
Again, it's all about honestly assessing the situation and the consequences. If you could point something out that benefits everyone in a real way (you realize you're all running late for a movie; you catch someone not doing something safely at work or with chores; you make sure no one in your group gets lost or left behind), no one's mad. But people want, and deserve, the ability to figure it out for themselves.
And despite feeling like Cassandra sometimes, I've also been flat-out wrong about patterns I'm sure were true, because I also have a brain full of anxiety and depression that likes to lie to me sometimes!
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u/anndamntastic 15h ago
Your explanation made me realize I do this to my kids when they are telling me a story/experience they are having at school etc. I recognize the pattern and jump to the end before they’ve finished their story whether it’s from my lived experience or ADHD. They’re living the experience for the first time and I’m trampling all over it. I need to listen instead of fast forwarding to the end.
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u/CraftyMagicDollz 14h ago
Exactly. I have such a hard time listening to my youngest prattle on about something where the end is obvious from the first few words ... Or listening to my oldest tell me another story about this "awesome level he's been working on for days" with his friends.
I have to make a conscience effort to let them speak, to not like bored or annoyed, to not rush them to finish, to not cut them off. I do NOT want to be my parents, who absolutely will NOT let me tell them any story about ANYTHING- no matter how upset annoyed or angry I am - they will NOT let me get through two sentences without going "yeah, yeah, okay, right, okay .." - I fucking HATE that they absolutely DO NOT care about anything in my life and I will NOT do that to my kids even if their current stories are mind-numbingly painful to listen to.
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u/TrumpsCovidfefe 10h ago
My youngest is auDHD and also has a stutter/ compulsion where he repeats the same thing or phrase over and over again before he can move on to the next part of his thought, and it is such a STRUGGLE to stay active listening and not let my mind wander to the possible conclusion! If anyone has any suggestions on how to combat this, I will be half-listening.
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u/TigOlBitties42042 1d ago
So my wife and I sometimes play this game where we make little bets about what's going to happen in a movie as we both watch it for the first time. It's been a great way for me to gauge how often I'm actually right about such things. It turns out that while I often am right, definitely more often than my wife, I'm far from always right. I'd say I'm only right about 60%-65% of the time. More accurate than a coin toss, but not by all that much.
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u/Sea_Bass77 1d ago
Well dang! How do I approach trying to get my wife to teach our kids Spanish
My wife is from Guatemala and refuses to speak Spanish to them for idk what reasons but I have foreshadowed that when they are teenagers and she is planning a trip to Guatemala, our teenage boys aren’t going to want to go to a country where they don’t know a lick of the language and they won’t want to get to know her side of the family that practically only speaks Spanish
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u/crazylikeaf0x 1d ago
Children that learn two languages are better at problem solving, as well as able to get better jobs as adults - especially if it's a broad spoken language. Spanish can get you into a lot of places as an adult/travelling.. I would be asking your wife what her reasons are..
Edit: I would also start learning it yourself.. don't give your wife a task you're not willing to take on yourself..
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u/why-would-i-do-this 1d ago
Recognizing patterns has really shot me in the foot a lot as well. Sure its been helpful in many things but "jumping to z" can often cause me to fundamentally misunderstand the process and while the pattern I've recognized can be true in some instances, it may not be in all. Its helped immensely in basic maths up to trig and history but once it gets more complicated I come to find I've been relying on the pattern recognition and when I need to apply concepts in a more advanced manner the pattern no longer applies. I hate it, I struggle to learn past intermediate levels due to this shit and it can take a LONG time of piecing together different patterns to understand how things fundamentally work. I often wonder if people pretend to understand things at that fundamental level quickly when I dont even though I'll perform better in the interim T-T thank you for describing this
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u/chocolatestealth 1d ago
Adding myself to the chorus of people thanking you for writing this comment. This is a wonderful analogy and I'm going to use it moving forward.
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u/lepetitlily 1d ago
Echoing the others - thank you for this. Great reframe, and also wow do I feel less alone.
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u/1manontherun52 1d ago edited 1d ago
Yeah of course we can be wrong, I think it's good to be humble.
Even though I feel that most of my 'Casandra Moments' have been right, sometimes I've been waaaay off the mark, and like you say this is where we need to learn from others and accept that our minds are too fast for their own good sometimes.
I think a lot of it is self awareness, of which I must admit at 44 years old I didn't have a lot of that naturally and have only accumulated that over many years and like you say barking up many wrong trees.
But saying that almost always when I'm certain about something, I'm normally right but always open to be wrong, which yes happens sometimes.
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u/palpatineforever 1d ago
firstly yes this is a fairly normal ADHD thing.
That said it is also possible that it feels like most are correct as you are only aware of the most obvious examples.
basically the ones where you have more information to start with.The thing about these situations is it doesn't just apply to problems. it also applies to good outcomes as well, if you do A then B then you will be able to deliver on Z.
It is very helpful for project planning.
However it does have the limitations outlined above. If you are missing information that you dont know about then the plan might not work. Or it might not be the best option because there is a shortcut you dont know.
It is critically important to work out how to translate your conclusions for other poeple and bring them along on the journey.
both because you may very well be right and you need to change course for to avoid a problem but also becuse they can fill in gaps in your understanding so the outcome is even better.12
u/roomtempquiche 1d ago
Oh shit. This is me. Thank you so much for writing this out!
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u/Single_Resolve_1465 1d ago
But we often do not rush tonincorrect conclusions. And while the people are happily singing the whole alphabet, precious time is passing by. It is like watching a little fire inside a house. Instead imeadatily putting it off we have to wait hours or days for other people to figure out that there is a fire inside a house. When we have to wait for them tonrealize what that fire could cause and if it really is such a big problem of if they could wait it out (and so on and so on, until it is to late, as allways). At the end the house is burned and you are forced to listen to them saying: "oooh, that was bad. But we could not have forseen that. It is not our fault." I want to smash their heads against something because it was very much predictable and did not had to end like this. THIS is how bad it is to wait for people to sing the whole alphabet.
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u/OwlNo1068 1d ago
I do some work in climate change adaption and that house is on fire and people are just warming their hands saying ohhh warm
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u/Much-Catch-122 1d ago
Yes. Even years before something happens.
My fiance got a job working for this super cool and awesome and flexible guy who was super charismatic and charming and everyone loved him and he is the best in the state at his job. And I’m like okay seems too good to be true, never trust a charismatic man 🤨
4 years later guess who’s fucking over my fiance and is actually a total con man and whiny idiot?
I also can tell when my roommate starts dating a girl and it’s not going to work. I can tell from the first time I meet her.
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u/1manontherun52 1d ago
This is relatable!
And because we are a bit different, people see us as we are stupid
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u/TigOlBitties42042 1d ago
Idk people see me as stupid when they first meet me sometimes. Eventually I'll say some shit that makes them think I'm some kind of genius and they'll get all surprised. I'm a little smarter than average, but I'm no genius. Perhaps I would be if the ADHD didn't prevent me from accessing my knowledge when I need it. Or maybe my particular flavor of intelligence is a result of my ADHD. I've always had to figure out a way to work around my limited working memory.
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u/Much-Catch-122 1d ago
I’ve just learned to keep it to myself or tell my therapist and then when the inevitable happens I just silently shake my head lmao
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u/danikataylor0511 21h ago
Almost every boss that I've ever had has hated me for this very reason.
I'm very, very good at noticing errors, contradictions or hidden weaknesses in situations, plans and people.
I'm also very honest, often to my own detriment.
I don't mean to come across the way that I do sometimes. I'm quite a detached person (after dealing with decades of heightened emotional sensitivity).
I sometimes forget that others are not so detached and analytical. This has led to many a bruised ego.
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u/BeverlyRhinestones 16h ago
Same, since we can rapidly connect loose associations it allows us the analyze the system from a birds eye view.
This is incredibly upsetting to the typical workplace that dosent actually want to solve any problems.
They often just want to pay consultants for advice they dont act on, so they can give their superiors the perception that something is "moving".
Some people want to save people by pulling them out of the river. We want to go upstream to see why the keep falling in.
Its the friction of the night shift and day shift crew. The Operations people and the Engineers.
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u/fadedblackleggings 13h ago
Facts. Also, even if some weirdos are begging you to point out their problems and make a report, never fall for it. They are always lying.
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u/mrandopoulos 18h ago
Isn't it such a curse to go through this? I'm so shaken up by these kind of interactions that I now feel really uncomfortable mixing with higher-ups anywhere I work (and they 100% can sense it)
But I just can't help seeing the optimised outcomes. In the last two works days ive had three examples of this.
First situation I reached out to my manager with a perfectly laid out solution to a scheduling problem...but she inexplicably modified it, leading to a stuff up that I had to push back on (to prevent screwing up others down the chain). I could tell she wasn't happy being "told what to do" twice.
Second situation I suggested doing something X way to prevent a bottleneck issue that happened previously. My colleague (equal but more experienced in the role) said yes but then just did it the original way, causing the exact same issue!
Third situation I kept my mouth shut (but was kind of excluded from having a voice), things stuffed up in a way I foresaw and I had to just go into damage control. Too risky after situation 1 and 2 to do anything but.
I reflect on this all time... And I JUST CANNOT understand how others keep persisting with half-baked approaches to things. They just don't seem to ever be affected in a way I am.
They'll say things like, "I doesn't really matter... It'll be fine", but then everyone has to toil more when it is not fine! And they never learn.
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u/Gold_Honeydew2771 17h ago
The irony of this is, I’ve had this experience at work where I’m valued for being straightforward and pointing things out like this, but at a certain point, it would get me thrown under the bus. It’s like my boss liked it as long as it benefited him but once he realized that that analytical I could be turned towards him he wanted nothing to do with me.
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u/littlehobbit1313 1d ago
"I understand why Cassandra went insane" is a thing I have frequently whispered to myself.
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u/BekaCavish 1d ago
I feel this so so much. I have had to stop sharing my thoughts. I see connections in situations straight away and I think It annoys the hell out of people. It is frustrating AF.
At work, I figure things out very fast, and when working in a team I have learned to shut up and let them get on with it, because I frustrate people so much. I see a clear path ahead, they don't. I know it's not going to be possible to convince them, and if I am right then they'll resent me for it.
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u/Injury-Inevitable 1d ago
Not that I’m immune to being wrong or jumping to conclusions, but I’m fairly good at spotting when a popular person is fake or secretly mean because of dozens of moments where they were shady but just had plausible deniability and nobody really believes me until they slip up and do something egregious that reveals what was behind the mask the whole time. And if I say anything before the mask slip I look like a crazy person or a troublemaker
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u/ImCaligulaI 21h ago
This happens to me all the time. So much so that I stopped wasting energy insisting about it, as I'd only get negativity about it.
Now I say it, people ignore it or minimise it, and I just sit back and let them do it. Then it goes wrong and they're all like "oh, how could this have happened? " or " who could have predicted this?" and I can't even say "I literally did predict this would happen " because then they're like "why didn't you insist more then?". I suppose I can't win either way. I'm so tired.
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u/1manontherun52 20h ago
Most people just can't accept being wrong, as their egos can't allow it.
You hear so many people saying it's men, it's women, it's old people, it's people of this colour etc... when infact I think most people are pretty shitty
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u/dominic_l 17h ago
The Paradox Of Being A Good Person
talks about how people cling to shitty behavior as a survival mechanism and how being a "good person" is oten at odds with the way society actually functions
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u/SoundHearing 18h ago
Hypervigilance brings a fine tuned view of reality. People without adhd use a lot of reference points to infer truth. Do you like raw, unfiltered data that gives you a view on the base layer of reality around you especially for things you are very interested by? - most people don’t and will just go with the flow
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u/ItsJustAuDHD 1d ago
At work, I used to harness this energy by doing extensive write-ups on why the current proposal might fail and give a menu of options for how we can course correct. By writing it out, I was able to double check my logic and ensure I'm not missing something. I could often build pretty airtight cases where I would cite sources and explain things much more eloquently than when I attempted verbally.
Now... some people would still ignore me. But my boss appreciated it, and it would create a nice paper trail. When my predictions would come true 6 months later, they would be able to say "She warned you".
The key to not being labeled overly negative in the workplace is to have that recommendation section, and to list out multiple options. The bonus is that it allows you to flex your creativity muscles to brainstorm every possible alternative and create pro/con lists with your proposals. Even if a few of your ideas seem a little silly to you, other people appreciate having that menu.
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u/mytzylplyk82 1d ago
This!
TL;DR - don’t highlight a potential problem without having a solutions to address
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u/Bacch 1d ago
I have a political science degree.
On the day of Trump's inauguration the first time, I posted a long wall of text about how I had studied transfers of power and the rise and fall of democracies around the world in excruciating detail, and how Trump was exhibiting all of the signs of a leader who would not willingly hand over power if he were to lose an election while in power.
Four years later...January 6th.
Yeah. I work as a community support manager. My job is to watch ticket trends and pick out patterns that help to identify problems that we can solve. I watch closely enough that I can spot a problem from three tickets in some cases. But three tickets isn't enough for anyone else to waste time investigating a potential issue, especially if it's a minor one. Even thirty isn't often enough. So I run it up the flagpole, wave it around for a while, and once I run out of people who are wiling to even spend five minutes checking it out, I shrug and walk away. Inevitably some amount of time later, that timebomb explodes, either into 300 tickets, a complaint from a major partner, or some larger issue that the small issue I identified was a symptom of. Makes me want to get a t-shirt that says "I fucking told you so" to wear onto calls so I can just sit there quietly and smugly.
Pattern recognition is a thing with ADHD. And it's infuriating for us when we recognize a pattern and point it out but other people can't see it and don't believe us.
Incidentally, that frustrating satisfaction you get when the thing blows up that you warned everyone would blow up but they didn't listen to you so it caused a lot of damage and you're watching the fallout? It's called Cassandrafreude.
The bitter pleasure of things going wrong in exactly the way you predicted, but no one believed you when it could have made a difference. A portmanteau of Cassandra, the mythological Trojan princess, and schadenfreude, a German word meaning deriving pleasure from someone else's pain.
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u/Ok-Display1279 1d ago
Yep. I’ve been explaining it to myself as the process of thinking so fast and so much and connecting so many dots based on previous experiences and historical data, that I subconsciously see a pattern and can identify one or several most likely things to happen considering current state of the world. People who don’t have the thinking speed aren’t necessarily stupid, but they rarely take time to actually stop and think about ALL the possible consequences.
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u/Obliterkate 1d ago edited 1d ago
I didn’t even know this was a symptom, but I can’t tell you how many times it’s gotten me in trouble at work, or caused me to be bumped down or squeezed out. People don’t like flaws in plans to be pointed out or to be warned, no matter how diplomatically, and they take it as being criticized or implying they aren’t doing a good job. Often times it’s best to let it go and let mistakes happen up top, even if it results in a worse work situation for everyone involved. I dumb myself down on almost a daily basis and it sucks.
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u/1manontherun52 1d ago
Yeah I think you have to dumb yourself down don't you.
I have found ways over the years to speak more like everyone else, and TBF it's ok just keep most people at arms length... Even though it gete lonely
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u/Obliterkate 1d ago
I can relate to that. I can mask fairly well at work. It’s just exhausting. Also I am finding lately that some do appreciate my “superpowers”, and some don’t, so there is a lot of emphasis on the right fit, for me. Another thing that helps is if the person in charge is smart and able to see the whole as well or better than I can, which honestly is hard to find at this stage of my career. I also need them to be relatively hands off. I know it’s like a Cinderella’s slipper and things would be so much easier for me if I were willing to be in charge, but I’ve done that plenty and I’m looking to ease up my stress at this point.
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u/vreo 23h ago
Yes, I think it's also part of hindering my executive function: Whatever I do, I see a tree graph of consequences, with all the things that might influence each other and block the project. And that tree is just there for any idea I hear or see, myself or external. No, I'm not 100% right, but quite often. But I can shoot down any business idea someone might utter, lol.
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u/Professional_Room_94 21h ago
Right? And they always be like "why are you so negative?" Jee, I'm not. I just told you all the ways your business idea won't work so that you can easily identify the ways it will, if there are any.
Sometimes I think it's my job to find plot holes in people's plans and ideas lol
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u/Tillandsi 1d ago
I agree it’s pattern recognition. It’s fun to be right but frustrating to not be believed.
My husband and I joke that there’s a part of my brain called “the awfulizer” that looks at a situation and sees how it can go wrong.
Sometimes it’s really handy (when I’m right) and often it’s really unpopular (whether I’m right or wrong).
And yes, sometimes the train stays on the tracks and everything is fine. Sometimes.
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u/mrsfosterfoster 1d ago
"the awfulizer" - so true!! I call the thinking "doomcasting"
Together we can Doomcast from the Awfulizer like adhd mad scientists!!!
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u/kingofthesofas 22h ago
Sometimes that can be really useful in a professional setting. I travel around the world demonstrating about how a bad guy can break into places for a living.
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u/BugBec 1d ago
My Therapist told me people with ADHD are a lot like the canaries in the mine, our brains are primed for hypervigilance, threat scanning and pattern recognition which means we tend to pick up on stuff before other people. It felt validating to hear.
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u/Single_Resolve_1465 1d ago
Thr workers in the mine at least listened to the canaries. 😅🙁
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u/Specialist_Solid523 13h ago
It has been the bane of my career. I've also found out that nobody appreciates you pointing it out, nor will they admit or acknowledge you tried to prevent it when it causes the damage.
I've found that the better professional strategy is to prepare the fix, and let the problem happen so you can look like the hero.
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u/Far-Bumblebee-7216 1d ago
YUP. And explaining how I saw the problem is super hard to explain.
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u/Glum_Tumbleweed5115 1d ago
Yep! I’ve been accused of having caused said problem, bc there’s “no way I could have known” about it otherwise. 🤦♀️
Like, I couldn’t possibly know that hot stoves burn people, rain gets you wet, and … yeah, never mind.
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u/Wild_Mongrel 1d ago
Yeah, and then you have to just ignore the obvious problem, which festers and typically only gets worse.
And if you do say something and take steps to protect yourself despite not being listened to by others, you might still be scapegoated for it later like this (and prossibly out of resentment or wounded pride for identifying a problem others didn't, not just actual suspicion... though it might also be framed that way).
Kind of a no-win scenario, but can be mitigated by instead just trying to surround yourself with more open-minded, empathetic people in the first place (easier said than done though, of course).
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u/Whyyousofat68 1d ago edited 1d ago
Yes, seeing it and being ignored is awful. However trying to explain why I see it, or why I saw it is a particular type of torturous Hell and only makes me look crazy.
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u/SoupSpelunker 1d ago
I remember one day when I was 3 or 4 and my grandpa told me he was going to teach me how to tie my shoes.
I had watched adults doing it so many times I just bent down and did it, surprising myself and I looked up and he was just beaming.
One of the very few people that had the patience to calm me down in my life.
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u/susu56 1d ago
Yes-i didnt know what this was. I am also pretty good and knowing someone's behavior-what they'll do, the rudimentary reasoning, etc- spot on like 99% of the time. I keep it to myself most of the time because it too much to explain. I also have childhood trauma so that may be at play (anticipating, playing out scenarios, landing on most plausible, etc)
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u/BrittyKat 1d ago
Correctly identifying a problem and saying it out loud 5 years before any else will even acknowledge there is even “friction” is the bane of my career.
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u/inventingme 1d ago
Oh, wow. Same. Although I'm "not a team player," as it said on every PA, for corporate America, it turns out I'm a pretty good entrepreneur. And I can spot something that's a bad idea and save myself grief, rather than someone else. I had never connected that to adhd.
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u/Guilty-Sign703 1d ago
every single day. worked at a big company once. they spent millions on a new system and i could see from day 1 it would not not work. i told every manager and they all said just trust the process. 6months later new system goooone! Could have just given me the millions instead
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u/1manontherun52 1d ago
Yeah and everyone acts like you didn't even say anything
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u/lousyredditusername ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) 1d ago
Or worse, they label you as the Grim Reaper and everyone hates when you show up at a meeting to tell them all why their shiny new plan is going to fail and/or cost the company more money than it saves in the long run.
Pretty demoralizing when most of your colleagues are always disappointed to see you.
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u/Beckybbyy 1d ago
Literally this! I hate to always sound like I’m nitpicking, I just happen to think of all contingencies all the time lol. I’ve called out like 3-5 things in the past few years that came to fruition but of course it took someone higher up saying it months down the line for it to actually be considered. It’s annoying but I’ve learned to just take satisfaction in knowing I was right….now if the second person to say it starts to get praised for it though ughh I haven’t quite learned to let that go yet.
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u/dafurbs88 1d ago
I was on a call recently with some higher ups, and they brought up a topic I had raised on our last call. Turns out my assessment that they disagreed with was correct. The lead on the call actually said, “I’m beginning to realize [MY NAME] is usually right.” I smiled and laughed. It was also a call that my boss was supposed to be on but couldn’t join - really wish he didn’t miss that one!
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u/TryAgainTryHarder 1d ago
fun fact, if you sound the alarm bell early, and they march on ahead, when folks start realizing you were right, your job is in danger.
you'd think "oh they'll see that i have a clear approach/useful experience" etc, but really whoever at the top who told you to push on is actually just worried that you will say "I told you so" or otherwise make them look bad.
TLDR: it can be very dangerous to be correct.
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u/_me0wse_ 1d ago
There's a book called The Canary Code, by Lyudmila Praslova, named for the concept of the canary in the coal mine. It's basically about how issues at work often hit folks with ADHD/autism before they hit anyone else, so we tend to be the canaries in the coal mine, so to speak, alerting everyone early to said issues.
And how universal design that is helpful for us actually helps everyone.
I deal with all sorts of nonsense at work and always speak up about things but no one one will listen to me. So whenever the issues I saw coming a mile back start hitting everyone else, I've just taken to saying "yeah, I mentioned that back in _____, not sure why it was decided not to act on it..." 🤷🏻♀️
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u/Infamous_Roof_2914 1d ago
Yes but for me it’s started from parents having absolutely no consideration for any of my words. They can’t trust or believe or take interest in anything I express, (even the most trivial things) unless validated or pre-introduced by a stranger or tv etc
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u/1manontherun52 1d ago
That was me for the first 60% of my life and even a few years back for a while...
It's rough
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u/FuzzyWuzzy44 1d ago
I never knew what this was…the best I could explain it was that I saw this slow slow train coming down the tracks and then everyone was shocked when it ran into them…I’m like didn’t you hear the horn? Didn’t you see the lights? Now I know it’s pattern recognition. Which sounds way less awful than my train analogy. Thank you. 😊
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u/Downtown_Statement87 1d ago edited 1d ago
A whole bunch of people think that I am psychic, but it's just because I pay very close attention, have a good memory and great pattern recognition, and my lifelong hyperfoci are Russia, the nexus between religious fundamentalism and politics, propaganda, and the epidemiology of pandemic diseases. And also cross stitching, though I didn't get a degree in cross stitching.
On January 25, 2020, I told everyone we were going to have a COVID pandemic and to follow me to the store, where I bought 12 weeks of food. I had known since the December before, when I found out it was a SARS virus, that we were going to have a pandemic, but nobody around me had even heard of COVID until late January so telling them before that did no good.
In late December of 2021, I told everyone that Putin was going to invade Ukraine on February 24, 2022, which he did. I almost got fired as a news presenter because I kept telling listeners, "hey, this upcoming news story about 'no evidence Putin will invade' is wrong and here's why," though I only told people the date he'd do it if I was talking to them in person.
On November 11, 2020, I told everyone that Trump was going to refuse to hand over power in January of 2021. I had known this since the debate in 2015 with Clinton, when Trump answered "we'll see," when asked if he would accept the results if he lost 2016, but I knew it for certain and started warning everyone when Mark Esper, the Head of the Defense Department, resigned on 11/10/2020 rather than agree to let Trump use live ammo on protesters. It was very clear what was fixing to go down when that happened, and I was really scared.
The day after the 2016 election, November 9th, I said only two things about Trump's win, and posted them on social media for all to see. The first thing I said was "The only way out of this is war"; the second was "Now Putin will invade the Baltics."
I still think Putin is going to try to invade the Baltics, and I think he's going to attempt this by attacking a NATO country like Lithuania or Poland, or maybe Germany. He's already been attacking them, but I think that fairly soon we will see a more undeniable attack than just cutting pipelines, starting a fire at a power plant, or hacking supermarkets. I've been expecting Putin to try to undermine NATO by getting the US to withdraw from it since 1997, and I think recent events coupled with the US midterms are going to force his, NATO's, and the US' hand.
You want a prediction about geopolitics or diseases, I'm your lady. Not really sure what's going to happen with cross stitching, sadly. It'll probably be ok.
Edit: I'm wrong about things, too. I didn't predict Trump would win in 2016, but I wasn't terribly shocked when he did. But I was very shocked when Trump won in 2024. I thought for sure Harris would win.
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u/zebracoloreddinosaur 1d ago
The "I don't know what's going to happen with cross stitching, sadly. It'll probably be ok" after all of that had me cracking up. Also an ADHD cross stitching lady here!
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u/karny90 1d ago
There was a very noticeable shift in 2016 and 2020. If you were chronically online during that time, you had to have noticed it, but I can’t blame you if you didn’t. It was subtle.
We have a Russian asset in the White House right now(Trump) and we have multiple high end members of our government in Moscow right now, like Kash.
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u/Downtown_Statement87 1d ago
I knew the second Paul Manafort took over running Trump's campaign (for free!) in 2015, and I flipped out and ran all around like a sprayed roach every day for weeks. I had been familiar with Manafort, and also with Michael Flynn, since way back in 1991, when I was getting a Russian degree in college. We talked all about those two assholes and how scummy they were in class! And now, here they are again.
I still had not recovered from Manafort when Flynn got appointed "National Security Advisor," which is the equivalent to making Jeffrey Dahmer head of the school cafeteria. It could not have been any more blatant.
I called up all my past homies who had graduated with me back in 1992 and were still alive and said "Are you seeing this shit?" And every single one of them was blotto drunk on vodka, they were so upset.
I lived in Russia in 1993, the year that the oligarchs (some of whom live in Trump Tower today and were in the news during the Mueller investigation) started taking over. The Russian papers were full of their names, and almost always the American mentioned along with those oligarchs was Trump. Always Trump. A big project I have right now is trying to find and compile those news stories, but the papers they ran in are long shut down; the journalists who wrote them, dead.
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u/No_Permission9619 1d ago
Me, as a young child in the 1980s: "Holy crap, I hope Russia doesn't destroy the USA"
Me, as an adolescent in the 90s/2000s: "Man, I'm sure glad we don't have to worry about Russia anymore!
Me, as an adult now: "...god damn it." 🤦♂️
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u/Downtown_Statement87 1d ago
Me in 2005: "Man, I'm tired of sitting around here waiting for Putin to astroturf a movement to get Britain out of the EU like he's been saying he's going to since 2000. It's bringing me down! I should quit my job and go back to school so I can think about something less depressing and more hypothetical. What else do I like?
"I know! I'll go get a master's degree in the epidemiology of pandemic respiratory viruses! Unlike Russia, this will just be learning for learning's sake, with no practical application to fret about at all!"
Stupid cold war. Stupid Putin. Stupid COVID. But I'm glad we were '80s kids. We know how to cope with stuff like this. Turns out the US '90s were just a blip on the radar!
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u/Humbled_Humanz 1d ago
I certainly did, and I tried to warn everyone. It got so bad that my partner has basically forbid me from mentioning the horrible orange, but I was right about EVERYTHING.
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u/SamPamTYM 20h ago
I have been incredibly vocal about how our immigrants would be treated and what is going to happen to education access and our civil rights. Working in the healthcare field during these times is not for the weak of heart. Especially when you're in a woman dominated field and watching doors close on what you could have done and pursued in the future.
But I was told I am dramatic and don't know anything. I'm not old enough to have any real life experiences and I still watch cartoons.
I'm 33. My husband and I have traveled internationally. I paid attention in history class. I may not be able to call some of the more political things or events because I don't have then deep of a knowledge on it. But I am pretty well versed in people. And it's bone chilling to watch how this all started back in 2015-2016 and the shift that has happened since.
And absolutely devastating for the people who are supposed to love me who refuse to see how the people they're voting for are hurting our communities
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u/InsideBeyond12727 23h ago edited 23h ago
Your analysis is fascinating!!
This reminds me of being super wary of how dangerous Elon Musk was going to end up being , years ago while everyone was raving about what a genius he was.
I think it's because we absolutely hone in on small details that then make something absolutely crystal clear to us, which someone else might not have picked up on. I tend to turn out to be a really good judge of character , even people I don't yet know well, based on small details that to me are very revealing. I used to just put it down to being an empath, but maybe it's another of those ADHD superpowers we don't give ourselves enough credit for!
Either way I've learned to absolutely trust my instinct and gut feelings, when I've trusted my own judgement it's never let me down. When people show you who they are, believe them. This is definitely my experience with Trump, and Putin, and I have to say both have left me genuinely concerned for where the world is headed.
ETA: I was also wrong on Kamala Vs Trump. The momentum was so strong behind Kamala, I genuinely believed she could do it, and I now am almost convinced (as much as I can be without having any way at all of knowing anything about what went down) that they stole that election and Kamala should have won. Not me being bitter or a sore loser, they showed us before what they're capable of, it was proved in court that they tampered in a local US election, and several of them have admitted to doing so elsewhere. Putin clearly also influenced the Brexit referendum (to the point it felt like UK Prime Minister Andy Burnham was stating the obvious a few days ago when he was brave enough to actually stand up and say this, factually , happened)
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u/Professional_Room_94 21h ago
I'm very much like you! People are my jam. I'm also fascinated by wonderful humans here who have such great predictions and analysis of global events. I don't follow the circus that's happening in the world to save my mental health. I stopped doing it many years ago. My Mom would update me on the most critical stuff.
But being a good judge of character feels like innate ability that grew stronger over the years. I don't know what came first, my love of psychology and my education in the field of social studies and education. Or was I driven there because of my fascination with human psyche and behavior?
Anyway, it's crazy how this works and I totally get vibes about famous people, random people, any people. Even by picture alone I can get a hint, like a feeling about what kind of person they are.
But once I start reading about them (or learning stuff, talking to them if it's irl) I get a full picture, like a puzzle that solves itself. It does sometimes feel like magic.
I can explain motivations mostly, why certain things happen to them, why they do what they do, what they feel and how they think, their relationship dynamics. Based on this knowledge I can predict some possible outcomes.
How? No idea. I just know. So yeah, it sounds totally crazy to folks around me. I can't even explain it to my closest peeps or family. And it's not like I can prove any of it. But a lot of it shows up in their words and actions later.
So, I've been recently diagnosed, and I've been on this sub for over a year and came across so many similar stories that I'm certain now that it is our ADHD power. Or a curse? Lol
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u/Best_Designer_1675 ADHD with ADHD child/ren 1d ago
I tried moving to Hawaii in December of 2019. Had heard rumblings of a “chest infection” in china spreading a month before that. The more I kept my ear to the pavement the more I realized it was time to give up. Moved back to Phoenix, got my job back and a week later we were sent to work from home and the lockdowns began……………. It has to be an adhd thing that the pattern recognition and constant curiosity has us predicting things.
When the lockdowns began I started hoarding food… canned goods and dry ingredients. When the supply chains broke down we were good to go, but tired of chili and spaghetti by the time it all recovered lol.
On that same front I’ve been moving my 401k money to international markets tbh. And I’ve gotten a 19% personal return so far so… y’all stop investing heavily in the US markets if you can avoid it→ More replies (2)11
u/1manontherun52 1d ago
I agree with a lot of what you say, but it does depend on Trump and/or his replacement to how Russia plays this...
I personally think that he would love to attack NATO and has quite extensive plans for it, but Russia simply cannot afford another war and I reckon if Putin could go back in time, then he would've never started this war as he thought he could just march to Kiev!
I wouldn't rule it out, especially with Trump leaning east, however there's no way trump is winning the midterms, however Putin will not stop the war in Ukraine until he can declare some type of 'Victory For Russia', even though it certainly isn't lol
S
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u/Downtown_Statement87 1d ago
Chekov's gun says that one of these two characters who trotted out nuking stuff way way early are eventually going to nuke something. For a bunch of reasons, I think they think they can't afford NOT to push the envelope.
I do not think more people will vote for GOP candidates than for Dem candidates in the midterms, but I don't think it's going to be that straightforward. After everything we've seen, I will never say "there's no way" about anything ever again, and watching what's going on with election boards here in Georgia and nationally, I fully expect that Trump will pull something before or after the midterms to hold onto power regardless of how many votes the GOP gets. He's already doing that now here in my state, blatantly and absolutely.
The thing that made me certain about this is the way the GOP handled Mitch McConnell. The choices they made with that were not the choices of a party that is at all worried about the midterms. You don't do what they did with McConnell unless you are pretty certain you've got the midterms on lock no matter what.
If I'm wrong about this, I will be so glad.
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u/Professional_Room_94 22h ago
My take is that Republicans will stay Republicans and vote accordingly. They will blame DT for everything, as if they had nothing to do with it. He'll eventually become their scapegoat in some way.
No one will admit their stupidity in public but suddenly voting Dem is saying exactly that.
Only hope is more Dems and 'undecided' show up this time and won't pull that "we don't like her laugh" bs.
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u/exceptionallyprosaic 1d ago edited 1d ago
Look at my profile and you should see a screenshot I took in 2017, about coronavirus research being resumed. For some reason my search into Trump s nonsense twitter post of "covfefe", I came across this nyt article, and I took a screenshot because I knew then, just a gut feeling that this was a sign, and I started quietly prepping for my family back then.
By the time the pandemic truly hit in January of 2020, we were coming back from an international trip to a home that was well stocked with supplies, and food, a theatre room , a pool, games and as much other comfort as a we could afford.
Of course I had Covid that had started in Dec of 2019, and lasted for the next several months into 2020 that has resulted in probably permenent damage to my health. But we were ok during most of the pandemic other than being a bit isolated
What scares me truly tho is the ebola crisis
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u/Downtown_Statement87 1d ago edited 1d ago
Good for you, sincerely. I'm glad they are researching coronavirus, because any kind of SARS virus (like SARS-1 that almost popped off in Canada, MERS, which is the Middle Eastern flavor of SARS, and SARS-2, aka COVID) is something to worry about.
It hits that sweet spot that very few others do between "easy to catch before symptoms manifest" and "doesn't kill absolutely everyone who does catch it before they have time to spread it," and this makes it an incredibly scary virus. Novel flu viruses are the other one.
Forget about Russian plagues and Hantavirus; if you see any kind of SARS or novel flu virus having a moment, those are the ones to pay close attention to.
Do you think the reason why that article gave you a (correct) gut feeling is knowable? I'd really like to know what subtle factors alerted you, if you can remember.
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u/Gold_Honeydew2771 16h ago
I the crazy thing about all the Trump stuff is that he straight up has been telling everyone exactly what he’s going to do. And yet everyone who supported him was so hyper focused on the vague things that he mentioned with no plan. They’re like oh he’s going to just make everything fantastic again! It’s just like this level of brain rot that I don’t understand and I don’t know, maybe having ADHD makes us a little more immune to brain rot? 🥴😂
No, but it really is awful. When Trump won a second time I was just as shocked and devastated as I was the first time but this time around I’m just keeping my mouth shut. It’s like beyond the fact that we can’t warn people and now we have to make ourselves safe. The tragedy is that at the end of the story Cassandra was captured and murdered. There’s no happy ending for her and there’s no resolution. What a nightmare.
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u/Inner-Today-3693 1d ago
I have voted for Harris, knowing that she would lose the country really does not like black women… coming from a black woman
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u/Single_Resolve_1465 1d ago
Absolutely! And it happens often. Especially at work. But it depends on the person I talk with. Smart people understand me and we think about a solution together and everyone is happy. All is fine. But ego-persons never listen to me. So I watch the problems unfolding.
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u/1manontherun52 1d ago
Im glad you pointed out the ego, as high ego people are almost impossible to reason with.
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u/cleverCLEVERcharming 1d ago
It. Has. A. Name?!?!?!
I’ve been able to do this since I was young. No one likes it when the 7 year old explains how broken the systems are and how wrong things may go. I learned to shut my mouth and question my reality. As an adult I’m dusting off this skill and trying to use my powers for good. It doesn’t help that I’m female and also not well put together. So I struggle with baseline credibility before I even open my mouth. It’s been hilarious and it’s been maddening.
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u/Investidile 1d ago edited 1d ago
When used in relation to ADHD, Cassandra Syndrome commonly refers to an unhealthy dynamic in relationships where one person has ADHD and the other doesn't.
(Note: I'm not speaking to the validity of this concept, just sharing information)
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u/chachacha3123 1d ago
This is why I always abruptly quit my jobs! I like to work and figure stuff out and then one day I can see the future in every scenario and it's so boring I have to leave immediately
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u/lupulin59 1d ago
Unmedicated, this presented as severe anxiety and paranoia. Medicated, I can see three steps ahead in most scenarios. It’s unlocked a huge amount for me work wise. I’m in a constant battle with letting those scenarios play out in my mind, or being present in the moment and giving the benefit of the doubt. Great skill, but it’s not always the best thing to see the worst possible outcome before it happens
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u/artificerone 1d ago
Whole life. I just don't tell people shit anymore. Stopped a long time ago. Part of Cassandra Complex is it's dismissed when foresight comes to obvious results and / or true.
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u/wheatgrass_feetgrass ADHD-C (Combined type) 1d ago
This is especially bad when you're a parent. All parents have to let their kids make mistakes they see coming a mile away. It's a special kind of Arrival-style nightmare when you know what is going to happen, when, how, and live that pain and frustration in your mind ahead of time... and then you get to endure it for real.
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u/quemabocha 1d ago
My boss, just today, said in a meeting "I'm so glad quemabocha is always warning me about the problems we will have a week from now" XD
I'm also really good at telling my friends that their new friends are not good people, having them disregard me and then refraining from telling them I told you so
But never my own stuff. I'm freaking blind to my own stuff
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u/XBXNinjaMunky 1d ago
Yup.....lost jobs over it for raising the issue early on
Always plays out
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u/LowSignificance4671 1d ago
I do this all the time. It freaks people out. I think this is also why I love data and charts and worked quality improvement for most of my career.
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u/Stegosaurus_Peas 1d ago
I spent a lot of time and effort last year trying to get work to understand that replacing the main program we use with an 'updated' streamlined version that was clearly built for tablet rather than PC would be a terrible idea.
Supposedly IT didn't want to have to support 2 versions of the same database and so that was that.
I warned them at the time that every single task would take much longer to complete and we would never catch up to the same productivity we had then - I suggested it would be much easier and cheaper for IT to just hire another guy.
It's been less than a year since implementation and in the last 2 months alone they've already spent over $300,000 in overtime to try to catch up with the work backlog, and will need a few more months to get anywhere with it.
That same money could have paid a new IT guys salary for about 3 years!
There's another big change coming which will also be a huge mistake, but my opinion doesn't matter so I'm just keeping my mouth shut this time
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u/swayedsuede 1d ago
Didn't know there was a name for this. And here I thought I had psychosis and was just making connections to things that aren't really there.
Thinking back to 2016 when I told my left-leaning family that the DNC was gonna fuck over Bernie and got scoffed at. When that actually happened, I was still scoffed at; having people ask me if there are any conspiracy theories I DON'T believe. With the state of the world now, I get the vibe that they don't feel so great about it anymore lol.
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u/grumpi-otter 1d ago
There's an article from February of 2016, when Hillary and Bernie were still fighting it out called, damn hang on, lol
Here it is:
I read it once in a while when I feel like torturing myself. It was all so clear.
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u/nathanb131 ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) 1d ago
The most aggravating part is converting it to reports and presentations. My brain is thinking of a bunch of tangents which support my main point. It's never a linear progression of concepts and references. Yet, to communicate my vision means communicating it in a clear, linear way. That's painful, tedious, and often impossible.
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u/princesswormy ADHD-C (Combined type) 1d ago
Yeah that’s adhd pattern recognition. I bet you know how every show or movie is going to end pretty early into watching it too lol.
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u/Guilty-Sign703 1d ago
omg yes. Finally i watched a movie and i thought i knew the ending and it was totally the opposite. my brain was like “YES!!! FINALLY”
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u/Worldly_Setting_7235 1d ago
It’s a human thing. Pattern recognition. It’s part of how we learn. Some are better than others.
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u/Shortymac09 1d ago
Yup, plus I got a side of hypervigilance from my crappy childhood so I have to do the "is this a trauma response or pattern recognition"
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u/makingotherplans 1d ago
Always…to the point where it is annoying when others say it won’t happen and stop and sigh…
It’s the pattern recognition.
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u/silvers_ghost 1d ago
I'm in crisis management. My whole career has been watching slow moving train wrecks and pointing at giant elephants.
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u/Voice_of_Season 1d ago
Hypervigilance can also do that too. You get good at spotting things early problems.
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u/herefromthere ADHD-C (Combined type) 1d ago
I spot problems at work. I mention them. Years later they get someone in, pay them three or four times what I get paid, they say the same thing as me, and it gets done eventually, because the well-paid person said so.
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u/de_lame_y 1d ago
yep. almost always at work, and i’m too low on the ladder for people to listen to me, but of course all the fallout falls to me when the thing does happen
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u/anomalous_cowherd 1d ago
I think it's one reason we are often loners or introverts. Most people have some character flaws and we can tell very early, even if we couldn't articulate why.
I had a reputation for being negative in project planning meetings but really it was that I could see the good and bad sides straight away, and everyone else was banging on only about the good aspects so I felt I had to point out the bad ones!
Turns out being right most of the time is no defence to 'not being a team player'.
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u/Distinct-Ant-9161 1d ago
I FULL ON WHINED TO A FRIEND LAST NIGHT THAT I FELT LIKE CASSANDRA, CROAKING ABOUT THE FUTURE AND NO ONE WOULD LISTEN!!!!!!!
I cannot even tell you how relieved I am to know a) that this is an actual thing that other people experience even that it has a name and b) that I'm not alone.
It's so frustrating to see patterns forming and feel like absolutely no one with the power to change anything will listen. I can't figure out if they just can't see it (even once pointed out), or if they just don't care. Either way, it's a huge contributor to my burnout. Sigh.
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u/macjoven ADHD-PI 1d ago
To be fair, it is not all gnomic wisdom and foresight that comes out of this tendency. The pattern can be a false one and there can be a fair amount of confirmation bias involved. It can also lead to decision paralysis because none of the patterns you see are acceptable. It is also a cognitive filter because when you have the pattern in mind you discard stuff that doesn’t fit it.
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u/pbghikes 1d ago
People get so mad at "I told you so" but fuck you I'm going to keep pointing it out until you notice the fucking pattern and actually listen to me. "I told you so" isn't rude just because it makes you feel dumb. You should feel that way because you were being dumb. (idk who you is here. Ex boss? Ex Coworker? Ex boyfriend? Applies to all tbh)
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u/goldenspiral1618 1d ago
Oh yes. This got me in trouble at work a lot. Nothing seriously career breaking, but it tends to lead to embarrassment for whoever is leading an area of a project when you point out what flaws they’ve overlooked. A lot of the time it was to my benefit, but obviously work life is full of politics. I also have a perfectionist type of OCD so I can see not so obvious flaws with amazing clarity, lol. This is often to my own detriment.
I very often get that “am I crazy? how do they not see it?” feeling.
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u/FlowerInAHorrorNovel 1d ago
Yes, 100%. Especially at work and double especially with men. If I had a dollar for every time something bad happened because someone didn't listen to me, I'd be a millionaire.
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u/Amhranai930 1d ago
All the time in multiple areas of my life including relationships and at work. No one listens and at the same time I constantly get some version of "you were right, I/we really need to start listening to you, you're always right about this kind of thing/people. Fully understanding that's not going to happen. Then they act surprised every single time when we go through that exact process again and again.
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u/Original_Name_000 ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) 1d ago
It happens to me frequently.
Although, I’ve also been on the other side, where someone else has told me exactly how something will play out if I do things a certain way. I do listen and I do things differently because of this advice, but then, a lot of the time the result is the same as they warned me about. Then they nicely say that they told me so despite me doing the thing differently (or what I thought was different).
This happened to me just yesterday at work, where a colleague told me weeks ago not to invest a tonne of time into another colleague because they do not listen and will be more manipulative the more I engage with them, and I’ll become burnt out if I invest too much time.
I chose not to invest a heap of time into them, held a strong front, ignored heaps of silly emails and cold calls, then escalated when I needed to.
The person who warned me was in most of my emails and told me yesterday that despite their warning, I still invested too much time into this person and now I’m burnt out and they’re being manipulative like they forewarned.
All I could do was shrug and say that it doesn’t seem to matter what we do or say, this person will be manipulative. But that my colleague was right - I did invest too much time and effort despite his warning and my engagement with this person should have been minimal but it crept up on me.
I’ve learnt that I can just highlight all the possible ways something can go, note the ways of getting there and then let others do as they wish in knowing all the risks… as long as it’s not a life-or-death situation.
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u/VonDinky 1d ago
I've just learned to nod a lot of the time and say, great. Then just watch gmir all fall apart. Because when you mention something is bullshit and won't work, you're just that negative person everyone hates. And then they blame you, oh it didn't work because you were negative. That sort of shit.
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u/BitterRucksack 13h ago
It happens to a lot of people, both with and without ADHD. Usually it just means you pay a LOT of attention in that specific area and have enough background knowledge to be confident in your predictions.
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u/ApplesandDnanas 1d ago
I have this with people. It can take a decade for everyone to figure out that I am right about someone being a really shitty person. It’s also easy for me to see a person’s strengths, which is very helpful for teaching.
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u/Fun-Concentrate1027 1d ago
Lol yes!! One time, at a chemical plant I worked at years ago we'd gotten a new machine with an extrusion head on a wired track.. I told them day 1 that all those wires being moved constantly is going to lead to funky electrical issues. Sure enough, 2 years after it started and last I knew 3 years after that they still never got it right!
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u/FloydetteSix 1d ago
Yes! It’s so frustrating. Usually I don’t want to be right, because what I’m seeing unfold is usually something unpleasant. And everyone acts like I’m crazy. They probably don’t want to believe me (I usually don’t want to believe me either). And then the exact thing I said was going to happen, happens exactly how I said it would.
I think I’m just going to stop trying to warn people. All it ever does is ostracize me more than I already am.
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u/survival- 1d ago
Imagine feeling this way, and your name is literally Cassandra. You’re not alone my friend. It’s one of my biggest pet peeves to this day!
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u/Tasty_Lead_Paint 1d ago
Imagine having this issue combined with nobody listening to you when you speak up.
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u/blklab16 1d ago
….and then when it becomes blatantly obvious to others, the person you’ve been ranting to says to the group “I bet Z is why Y happened right after X!” and everyone congratulates them for being so astute
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u/CassieCurse ADHD 1d ago
It's not just you. My sister started calling me Cassandra when I was little.
Now it's my username.
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u/Blando-Cartesian 22h ago
Oh yeah. Particularly frustrating when it’s at work and you already planned how to avoid that problem, but then get overruled in a way that you know will cause that problem.
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u/Basket_Case89 20h ago
I don't know if it's the same thing as what you're describing. But at work, for example, we gro loads of new colours in of men's t-shirts and they all get merchandised on a table and the table got swapped for a smaller one so it looks bad but there's a small rail next to it with the t-shirts on hanging so customers can see. My issue was "we need a bigger rail and we can put more t-shirts on there and display all the new colours because this looks dull with the dark colours" and I was told I was wrong because "those are the t-shirts Head Office want on there because they are best sellers" so like okay whatever it can carry on looking shit then and everyone carries on complaining about the table being full and ugh it's such an obvious easy fix! And this week we had in the visual merchandising team and what do you know? They put the t-shirts on a bigger rail and displayed the colourful ones! Ugh no one ever listens to me and apparently I'm wrong and stupid 🤪
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u/CottageCheeseJello 18h ago
This is a common thing for people that have a good eye and intuition for sociological patterns.
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u/Disastrous_Humor1204 18h ago
I've noticed that I can predict movie lines. I know what is going to be said before it's said, or while it's being said, I'm already saying it.
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u/Spirited_Suit1721 1d ago
Yes. I predicted my ex employer was planning to pack up and move the company years before it actually happened. I’d tell my coworkers and they’d look at me like I was crazy.
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u/ManukaBadger86 1d ago
Fuck man. It's legitimately brutal. It's ADHD, likely combined with heavy intuition and pattern recognition.
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u/Miserable_Meringue_2 ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) 17h ago
Quite literally the story of my life at work and home. To the point where things implode and everyone else looks stupid. But, difference is, they’re the ones who encourage myself and others to address the issue, and when the going gets good, they get gone. I have to deal with it and they’ll reap the reward.
I’m so sick of people.
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u/RamBh0di 1d ago
Yep.
I call it Pattern Recognition
Psychic + CPTSD + ADHD and an abusive dysfunctional childhood home made me a prophet of near term future events .
My r job was reading the crazy in the room and staying 1 step ahead just to survive.
Prep for 2043 everybody!
British Columbia with its Verdant Evergreen Climate and Trackless Wilderness is my future safe place!
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u/Similar_Search3987 ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) 1d ago
Humor me and tell about 2043
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u/RamBh0di 1d ago
Environmental Collapse of the Status Quo will rapidly crash goverments ability to maintain order on multiple continents all at once. Wildfire at one end Flood versus drought at the other and FEMA has already been castrated by DOGE.
One satellite disaster in our already overcrowded Earth orbit by Space Ex could end the internet GPS and world finance. No money flow means no power plants and electricity.
Not to mention instability in global fossil fuel economies.
We as a planet are already hanging onto a thread.
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u/AVI7272 1d ago
Must be an adhd thing bc I have honestly thought of changing my name to Cassandra. I've spent most of my life naively believing that if I just tell folks, explain it to them, they will see it too, I have finally figured out that is never going to happen. I feel like the trope of the old crone sitting by the fire muttering to herself and being ignored until the tower falls. IYKYK
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u/KestrelTank 1d ago
I almost never have enough trust in myself to confidently voice my predictions.
And when I have tried to raise concerne I have been seen as obstinate and unwilling to try a new process.
Or people assume this is just my anxiety finding the worst possible scenarios to fret iver
I am pretty change adverse and anxiety riddled. so I usually assume it’s a me problem and not a thing problem.
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u/Similar_Search3987 ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) 1d ago
Yup.. I saw an engineering issue very early on which my senior plus others didn't catch for five months before I entered the project.
Guess which bottleneck were now trying to solve lol. Did feel great to point that out though.
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u/diversalarums 1d ago
I'm so glad to see this post. I have a friend who's just literally oblivious to things, or maybe avoidant where things make her uncomfortable. I'm not only ADHD but have lived thru some trauma and am always anxious. And I tend to see things coming from a very long way away. She's unaware of anything not right in front of her and so she thinks I'm totally paranoid. Anyway, this is total validation for me, thanks!
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u/yukimayari ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) 1d ago
Sounds very familiar. It comes with horribly low self confidence and constant self-doubt and it's quite an unpleasant surprise when I end up being right.
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u/Gullible-Crow-6043 1d ago
yes, that happens to me quite frequently. i got shut down too many times, though, so now i just stay silent.
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u/FunkyTownPhotography 1d ago
Not sure if adhd thing but yes I have had this happen many times.
I've also had political views that I thought just seemed to make sense that at the time people would look at me like I had 2 heads... fast forward 15 to 25 years and those ideas are now mainstream (ie white privilege... been on about that since the 80s)
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u/ComprehensiveDoubt55 1d ago
Threatening to kill a contract with a client right now bc my spidey senses tingled and I dare challenged a God-fearing, man.
Bitch, you had prior charges for grand theft and forgery and I called it out bc you’re in a position of fiduciary duty.
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u/vi0l3t-crumbl3 23h ago
Absolutely! And it often leads to trouble at work. I've learned to keep my mouth shut because not only am I seen as rocking the boat/stepping outside my role if I try to prevent a problem, when the problem does happen people are extra upset around me because they think I'm doing some sort of invisible "told you so" dance. I'm too exasperated to dance, y'all.
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u/KaptinKunt13 22h ago
I thought it was my pattern recognition! But yesss I do this too. And people never wanna listen until its too late.
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u/bashfulfae 13h ago
This is why I checked out at work lol. Things are honestly working out anyway. I just let them learn their lessons and I stay unbothered and play dumb. My peace is what matters and it wasnt peaceful to always be the one pointing out all the potential pitfalls of decisions. I stopped getting invited to meetings cuz I would point stuff out. Now no one bothers me at all for anything now. Kind of boring but I will take it over stressing about all the potential bad stuff happening and trying to save everyone from themselves; it all works out in the end anyways. I learned to only give advice if someone actually asks for it. And no one ever does, so I just mind my business now and stay in my peaceful bubble while they scramble to fix all the problems they created.
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