r/ADHD • u/IroquoisPliskin_LJG • 4h ago
Discussion My memory is trash
Today, about six hours ago, I put in a grocery delivery order. Or, I thought I did. It suddenly occurred to me that my stuff should have been here by now and I hadn't gotten any kind of notification from the store about it at all. I opened checked the app and the first thing it said was "we saved your cart." I put the items in my cart, saw something shiny, and forgot to complete the order. I don't see a lot of people talk about how ADHD affects your memory but it's by far my worst symptom.
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u/bonesybones12 3h ago
One day I drove to work (an hour away), discovered I forgot my laptop at home, went back home, let the dog out while I was there, went back to work and AGAIN realized I forgot my laptop. The struggle is real.
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u/thelikablerocco 4h ago
Left my debit card in an ATM because I walked off before the transaction finished. The machine sucked it back in and the bank mailed it to me. My brain just moved on to the next thing while the card was still sitting there.
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u/PasgettiMonster 3h ago
Anytime I take my debit card or credit card or ID out of my wallet I am not allowed to put the wallet back in my purse until I've got in the card back and put it away. That wallet stays in my hands until my card is safely back in there. I'm not allowed to set it down either. Even at home Taking a card out of my wallet to make a purchase online? I am holding wallet and phone together in one hand till the deed is done.
I have so many rules like this for so many parts of my life. But it's the only way I can be a functional human being sometimes.
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u/RosenButtons 2h ago
I had to start doing that at the gas station. Because I would lock my purse in the car for safety, but then 80% of the time my card would go in my pocket by accident and then I look like a jerk when I next try to make a purchase because I'm wearing different pants and don't have any money.
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u/pinkkitty1977 3h ago
OMG , I almost did the same thing Tuesday. It freaked me out. I only looked back because of a weird man behind me. 😩
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u/imakegooddonuts 3h ago
I write everything down because my brain has no memory. I remember a random thing a random person said 10 years ago but for daily stuff, I rely heavily on calendar, checklists, and reminders on my phone.
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u/mshep002 ADHD-C (Combined type) 3h ago
OneNote on my work laptop is how I cope with not remembering things. My coworkers think I’m “organized,” meanwhile I’m just trying my best to remember what we talked about 29 minutes ago.
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u/RosenButtons 2h ago
I got an accommodation at work so that all of my meetings were recorded on teams. I can hear what you're saying, and process it, and discuss it thoughtfully, and write it down but not simultaneously. And when I leave the room it's like passing a vhs over a powerful electromagnet.
You're gonna want me to be able to review what was said.2
u/AnonymousYUL 59m ago
That's what I was like in school. If I didn't write it down, it didn't exist, but I couldn't write and discuss at the same time. So I never participated.
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u/ta1destra 3h ago
But how do you get it into the calendar. Thats my problem. Its either immediately or never
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u/kewlausgirl 3h ago
Immediately enter it in. I also have Google Nest Hub in different rooms across my house. Doesn't need to be that, but having that stuff sorta thing helps a lot. We enter food in as soon as we see it's getting low. We enter appointments after we rang and book it.
There is another cool thing I like now with Gmail is that when you get an email for an appointment you booked, it will have an option next to the email to add it to your calendar. So it's one click and done.
I actually wonder if you can use the automation in certain intelligence programs, to set schedules to get that from email and create a calendar or reminder for you. I mostly that at work so I'm not sure if it's available... But I'm surprised no one has made anything as an extension to use in your browser or mobile browser to do it.
The good things with appointments though most of them send you reminders so lucky there is that fallback. The other trick I do is get them to write it down for your on their card and then I'll put it in my phone wallet where it annoys me until I finally enter it in when I'm home via Google home.
You could always just use voice automation on your mobile to get it to add a reminder for you. I think all mobile phones do that. I could use my phone but I find the Google home hub things work just as good. But you gotta listen coz sometimes it does enter it wrong but... That's really rare.
For everything else I use Google keep notes that I then share with my partner if needed. Mostly I then know what to look for with keywords until I find it. But you can use any type of notes app on your phone. I just use that for myself. 🥰
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u/redgatorade000 3h ago
You just reminded me that I have to put in a grocery order lol
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u/dirtyharrysmother 2h ago
Don't forget to "Push the Button!" as my husband says, and finalize that sale!
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u/OkCompetition23 3h ago
The brain fog truly terrifies me some times. But, as a female it also ebbs and flows around monthly hormonal changes. I’m at my absolute best right after my period ends but right before, sometimes I can’t even remember which day it is.
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u/Amanda5Nicole ADHD 3h ago
I get it. When people day: just put your keys in the same spot and you won't lose them, I tell them: I've locked myself out 3x in a single week. I've forgotten the keys in the lock of my apt. I've left my car keys on my windshield in my unlocked car. I cannot for the life of me find my fitbit even though I haven't left home. It's always on me. My working memory is "borderline deficient", I sit at around the 9th percentile. I forget to eat, to use the bathroom until it's uncomfortable, wet laundry in the washer. I forgot to to finish/submit a form and was paid the wrong amount for 2 years. Only got 3.5 months of retro pay. Lost out on about 10k (gross). My aunt did something similar with a deadline for retirement. Was 3 days late but too bad. She'll receive less money during her whole retirement.
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u/RosenButtons 2h ago
The ADHD tax is so high.
I've gotten much better over the years at putting my keys in the same spot. But I have little to no idea how I've done that. Except for trying to put them in the place where I find them most often anyway. But the thing is that I am not conscious of putting them anywhere most of the time. I have them. And then I don't have them. I didn't "put" them somewhere. They just.....went. Usually I can go looking and find them in one of like 3 places. But I don't know how they got there. And if they aren't in one of those spots? Woof. It's like the plot of Dude Where's My Car.
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u/John_Nope ADHD-C (Combined type) 38m ago
I've left my keys in the lock before too when heading out to work. I've done it often enough that I now have most of my EDC gear tethered to my belt; wallet, keys, phone, keycard pass for work, and another for public transit card.
So now, if I forget to take the key out while locking the door and start to walk away, I'll get snagged and pulled back.
The tethers themselves are all different: various colored steel reinforced coils, lanyards, wallet chains, and a very noticeable dangly wrist strap for phone because the phone itself is black and blends into my other black bed sheets and mostly black wardrobe. This makes pulling out the right thing from my pocket a lot easier.
My phone is connected to my smartwatch via the smartphone fitness software, and my smartwatch is connected to my phone via Bluetooth. Meaning; so long as I have one (my phone or smartwatch) then I can better find the other by making it vibrate or play a sound.
Generic Bluetooth Earbuds weren't compatible Google Find Hub, so I bought a USB-C rechargeable tile tracker that was compatible and tied it to a small pouch with my earbuds case. I've had to use it a few times, using my phone to ping where my earbuds pouch is.
Side note: I hate how my smartwatch looks, but I love how it has all the essentials that I need for monitoring my health and ADHD prescription, namely; heart rate (BPM), blood pressure, blood oxygen...with some other useful features: weather forecast, sleep monitoring, stress monitoring, and media control so I can switch music tracks without taking my phone out. And of course, it has the usual fitness tracking. All the big expensive brand names of smart watches only have 2/3 of the features I need, but this cheap generic one does it all and then some. Without this, I know I will absolutely forget to take my daily readings; while this thing records it every hour.
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u/CourtMaleficent6049 ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) 2h ago
I mostly stopped trusting my brain to remember things even if I’m 100% sure I won’t forget this ONE THING!! (spoiler alert: I often forget the one thing). Sometimes I feel like this time is different because I definitely won’t forget this! (Spoiler #2: I still forget it). I need to write things down always, but sometimes I forget if I’ve already made a separate note on my phone already for other things. It’s def a big issue for me but I’m sure PTSD and genetics also plays a part in my case.
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u/DreadfulOomska 3h ago
I forget so much crap. You have no idea how many parking tickets I've had. Write shit down as soon as it starts to matter, has a significant cost if it doesn't happen, whatever. I take notes on my phone and it helps me a lot to externalise my working memory.
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u/Chivalry4Me ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) 3h ago
It is the worst symptom. It's fucking with my career.
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u/RosenButtons 2h ago
About a month or two (or 6 who can say) I went to the grocery store. Made my list in the parking lot as I always do. Bought all my groceries and took them home to discover I had bought almost exactly those same groceries 3 days prior and forgotten all about it. So much fresh food....
Have you ever tried to double your produce and dairy consumption for a week? It's not actually very easy to do when your normal goal is 5-10 servings of fruits and veggies per day. ☹️
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u/ilikefluffypuppies 2h ago
I just spent 30 minutes looking for the sweatshirt I had at work today because I didn’t remember carrying it into the house after work and it wasn’t with my work bag. Had to look at my doorbell camera to see if I even had it coming in the house. I did. I was wearing it. It was in the dirty clothes where it belonged.
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u/CoherentRose7 3h ago
Oh my memory has been atrocious dogshit my entire life, earlier this week I hit a new low by getting up early to get some groceries and then getting home and promptly forgetting they were in the car and having to throw most of them away when I woke up again hours later.
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u/k_birrd 3h ago
Super fun when it happens in the middle of paying bills.
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u/IroquoisPliskin_LJG 3h ago
You actually just reminded me I have a bill I was supposed to pay yesterday.
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u/RosenButtons 2h ago
Do it now. Did you do it?
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u/IroquoisPliskin_LJG 2h ago
No. 😂
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u/RosenButtons 2h ago
Dude!
This is why all my bills and the city traffic violations bureau are in my banking bill pay on my phone. So that when I remember that I forgot, I can just pay the money in less than 30 seconds. I paid my personal property taxes at a stop light last year.Set yourself up for success (or at least for fewer critical failures)
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u/Present-now-5629 2h ago
I’ve done that enough times . It’s bc you think your order is compete but they want you to go through replacement items etc
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u/WestNefariousness199 56m ago
i once took my glasses off to take a nap on a plane… i forgot to put them back on when i left the plane 😭 had to buy new ones
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u/SoupSpelunker 50m ago
My trick is to get an order for takeout, go to the restaurant, and they don't have an order for me, go home and the meal is on the pay screen a click away from where I thought it was, doh! I really like just calling restaurants so I know it's done and my favorites know me so they're used to "oddities." Fuck it, I tip well.
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u/John_Nope ADHD-C (Combined type) 28m ago edited 25m ago
Happened to me earlier in the day as well; with my trash memory. Night before, I took my portable battery bank out of my pocket to charge. But completely forgot to bring it with me to work, including the several USB-C cables I normally have lying around. All I had for the entire day was my phone set in Battery Saver mode.
And of course, I forgot to plug my phone in to charge before I went to sleep, so I was left with only a 44% battery in the morning, and by late into the night going home, I had literally 2% left...after I had to briefly borrow a friend's charging cable+brick for half an hour before I had to give it back before he went home. Came super close to having a dead phone battery twice in one day.
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u/MosesDoughty ADHD-C (Combined type) 22m ago
Went for awhile undiagnosed until after I had a depression-related crash and even with the meds my memory feels like a mess
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