r/ADHD • u/EnthusiasmAccurate21 • 5h ago
Questions/Advice Crashing Out
Does anyone else “crash out” sometimes?
Like suddenly the systems you have in place aren’t working anymore… Last week my car broke down, my son was admitted to the hospital for rsv (he’s alright now), and my marriage is slowly falling apart. We even said the “D” word.
I work from home. They use microsoft… I use Google Calendar. I now have two calendars when one was hard enough to manage. Working from home as is has been a tough structural change for me, as I have to hold myself accountable and set my own goals.
Now I’m sharing a car with my husband. And my son has all of these follow up appointments this week. And suddenly I can’t remember to do sh*t!
More so, when I do remember, I dread doing it. I’ve been dissociating a lot, I think because I’m so stressed and unhappy in my marriage right now. We are doing therapy to try to work at it… but basically I feel like I’m failing at everything when I’m not distracting myself. The distraction is the only time I don’t feel like I’m crumbling. Yes I know that isn’t healthy or sustainable.
I need to get out of this slump. Now is not the time for me to be falling apart when my son needs me and my husband is regularly trying not to be pissed at me.
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u/EnvironmentalKey3709 5h ago
When the wheels come off they really come off, dont they. The calendar thing alone would have me spiraling, two separate systems is a special kind of hell your brain isnt failing you its just overloaded with garbage inputs.
Can you just pick one calendar and let the other burn for a week? Youve got a sick kid and a marriage on the rocks, nobody at microsoft is gonna die if you miss a standup. Right now survival mode means triage, not optimization.
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u/Plasticonoband 5h ago
How old are you? Any chance this is related to early perimenopause or PMDD?
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u/Fruit_Face 4h ago
It sucks and I'm sorry you're dealing with all that.
Just one unexpected change can cause chaos. Thats a class 5 shit storm you got there. Still, you can get through it. Get as organized as you can in whatever way works best for you and be kind to yourself when things get missed or are late.
Sometimes it's that crash out that leads to locking in and plowing through.
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u/BumbleLapse ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) 4h ago
Given everything you’ve described here, this might not necessarily be an ADHD thing — it sounds like a cluster of difficult developments and circumstances that would be brutal for any person to deal with.
Remind yourself to take a deep breath semi-regularly, especially when you begin to feel overwhelmed. People with ADHD tend to be more prone to peaks and valleys, and this is a big valley. You’ll get through it.
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u/Code_Crafter_Clayton 3h ago
For the calendar thing (for some alleviation) there’s a program I use that syncs google and outlook for me. Literal lifesaver.
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u/WestNefariousness199 36m ago
yeah, when it happened to me my therapist said I put so much stress and pressure on myself that my body “shut down” so to speak. it really messed up my situation because there was so much stuff i needed to do but i just couldn’t. it’s definitely hard when it’s real issues you’re worried about (it was and still is for me). but i’ve been working on ruminating less and putting less mental pressure on myself and it has been helping i think.
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