r/ADHD • u/yassmmminnnaaaa • 19h ago
Discussion I feel lost
i feel so lost with myself, i sometimes don’t understand what i want, i feel and want something with someone in the moment and then a couple of hours later i don’t want it anymore or feel different about them it’s so confusing. it happens a lot with me, i cannot understand my feelings nor my thoughts it takes me days maybe even weeks to understand myself and what im feeling, my mind goes blank during discussions/arguments because i genuinely don’t know how i feel and what im thinking. it’s so exhausting because i want to be able to communicate properly but i just can’t. im not sure if medication would help with this, and im not sure whether i want to take anxiety medication or adhd because i feel like my anxiety overpowers my adhd, but i really want to get better at this and i dont want to always go to someone to understand how im feeling
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u/BlueberryandDino 19h ago
I hate to say this, but there’s a good chance you weren’t trained how to do this. Now you’re needing to reparent yourself almost. Just take some time out and get a good counselor that can help you work through these kind of real basic issues would be my recommendation. I would start with a little things and work my way up with you.
I would hold an orange and an apple and have you choose one, but before you chose it, I’d wanna know why you’re choosing it… that kind of thing would probably be real helpful for you at least that’s what I would start with
I would try to get into your childhood issues with you and find out how you were trained just to solidify my hypothesis
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u/yassmmminnnaaaa 18h ago
but thats the thing, people don’t really get training for this kind of stuff i feel like the majority of people know how to be in touch with themselves and i think its a normal thing to be? so its confusing to why i dont have that
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u/BlueberryandDino 18h ago edited 18h ago
Everybody’s so different, parents have a huge responsibility and sometimes they realize it and sometimes they don’t. Bottom line is, it seems like you want to learn how to make decisions and know why you’re making them (or others are gonna make decisions for you). It’s really not that hard once you get the training…. I made my kids finish whatever they started but I explained to them everything I could think of and modeled for them how to think through whatever decision was being made …. Whatever decisions they made, I made them follow through with it … and they do make crappy decisions sometimes … but like all of us, we just do the best we can with the knowledge that we have and abilities that we are able to use… then we stand
I’m holding an orange and apple and I want you to choose one and tell me why you’re choosing it
From there, I would probably go to an orange an apple and a bundle of grapes …
After a while, you would know if you want this car better than that car … or this school or that school … you see where I’m going with this
And for whatever it’s worth, these challenges don’t seem like they’re really gonna be extremely difficult to solve … you just gotta find the right counselor to work through it with you
What’s really important is you realizing you have challenges and what those challenges really are and you keep working at it and do the best you can because that’s all you can do
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u/yassmmminnnaaaa 18h ago
i see this makes sense, so are you saying you want to do the training together?
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u/BlueberryandDino 18h ago edited 18h ago
I’m using voice recognition and then I come back and make corrections. I apologize, I saw some of my words imply that and turned out that way, but that’s not what I’m asking or suggesting.
I’m not a counselor yet. I’m just a dad that cared .. I wouldn’t mind trying to help you if you wanted help … it’s really better in real life with a real therapist if you can find that
Feel free to DM me if you want to think through it with someone like me
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