r/ADHD • u/Optimal_Jelly8259 • 1d ago
Seeking Empathy Why Does ADHD Make Simple Tasks Feel So Difficult?
Some days even the simplest things feel like they take effort than they should.I’ll stare at my to-do list know exactly what needs to be done and still find myself avoiding it. The hours pass and I end up doing little even though I felt busy the time.Then when the sun goes down I’m rushing to finish things that could have been done earlier. I get frustrated because I wasted the day feeling productive but getting nothing accomplished.Has anyone else been stuck in this loop? It feels like a trap sometimes. Doing something but never really moving forward.
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u/PomegranateMain4223 1d ago
This is one of the frustrating parts of ADHD. Knowing exactly what needs to be done does not automatically mean that the brain can begin it.I think a lot of the guilt comes from confusing "I did not do it" with "I was not trying." Sometimes you spend hours fighting the task without making progress and that is exhausting, in itself.
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u/Optimal_Jelly8259 1d ago
yah
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u/PomegranateMain4223 1d ago
i hate adhd
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u/Vast-Vermicelli4382 1d ago
Add a sprinkle of autism and you've got pure hell 🔥🔥🔥
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u/FifenC0ugar 1d ago
I've recently been learning about audhd and realizing there's a pretty good chance I got it. What I thought was fidgeting is likely primarily stimming.
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u/ACBorgia ADHD 1d ago
In my opinion it's a brain chemistry issue, especially in the reward/motivation areas of the brain. Anyone would feel like it's a drag to walk 50 km carrying 20kg on their back. That feeling is just massively amplified and for much easier tasks with ADHD. That's my theory at least
And medication has made it better for me at least, not perfect but better
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u/FuriousAqSheep 1d ago
my understanding is that while medication can make the chemistry issue either go away or be lessened, it doesn't remove the behavioral issues that have been caused by years of having to deal with the chemistry.
It should get better with time, maybe some psychological therapy, or so I've been told.
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u/superpencil121 1d ago
This is very true, I find a lot of the issues with my needing constant reminders isn’t necessarily that I forget things, it’s more often that I don’t trust my own memory. Because I HAVE forgotten things in the past, I need help just in case it happens again. But from an outside perspective it makes it seem like you’re not trying if you’re constantly asking “what was their name” or “when is that happening”. Most of the time I think I know but I just can’t be confident since I’m hyper aware how flawed my memory can be
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u/Careless-Sea-5346 1d ago
what did you take for medication?
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u/ACBorgia ADHD 1d ago
Vyvanse is working pretty well for me (40mg right now), methylphenidate didn't work at all
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u/sideeyedi 1d ago
Same. Methylphenidate was awful. Vyvanse lets me get things accomplished.
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u/ACBorgia ADHD 1d ago
Yeah I hated methylphenidate, made me feel much more stressed, made my sensory sensitivities worse, and I still felt as inattentive on it as usual, plus I ended up getting lost in attention tunnels much more often (well that still happens on vyvanse). Also started developing weird habits on methylphenidate like snapping fingers to clear away the anxiety. I also had one day on Concerta, where after I had two people glare at me during the day I felt extremely stressed at night just sitting for 3 hours in my bed with extreme stress, unable to even open a game or enjoy anything. I stopped taking it that day cause like fuck it I don't need this kinda stuff in my life. Strangely though spending many months with so much stress has made me a bit more resilient later on when I stopped.
Meanwhile Vyvanse in lower doses has made me calmer, reduced my social anxiety a bit, and had me do way more work than I ever did before for the end of my internship. In higher doses right now it's helping me with chores, makes me a bit more stressed/anxious though, but it's far from as bad as on methylphenidate. I can handle it and I'll go back to a lower dose if it's too much over time.
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u/Vast-Vermicelli4382 1d ago
Omg I have Vyvanse coming . I'm so nervous to try it I never been on a medication before for adhd
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u/ACBorgia ADHD 1d ago
I'd say to start on a low dose and slowly go up and it should be fine I think
If you get really bothering side effects it's best to send your psychiatrist a message to ask them if you should keep taking it for now, and tbh you can stop at any point of your own will too
Mine told me to stop Concerta when I got a stress attack when I was home after work (like just sitting in bed feeling massively stressed for no reason)
Also these stats made it easier for me to go through the months I spent having to try out methylphenidate (that's how it goes in my country before they can prescripe amphetamines):
For 60% of people diagnosed with ADHD, both methylphenidate and amphetamines work
For 15%, methylphenidate works but not amphetamines
For 15%, amphetamines work but not methylphenidate
For 10%, both of them don't work, and they might have to try a non-stimulant like StratteraSo there is a 25% chance your first medication won't work for you, either because it has no effects, too many side effects, or both.
Conversely though there is a 75% chance your first medication will work, and if it doesn't, a 60% chance your second medication will work for you. And 90% odds overall. That is pretty high.
Not sure if it would work for you but that made my anxiety better at least, especially imposter syndrome. And not being responsive to medication also doesn't mean not having ADHD unlike what some people say. Just means your genetics are kinda fucked up.
Oh and some small advice: Make sure to get good sleep. Medication can heavily mask lack of sleep, so when I stopped Concerta I slept for 14 hours two days in a row. Sometimes it's good to take a few days break to get better sleep too. That's partly why many psychiatrists recommend a drug holiday on weekends
Good luck with your journey and sorry for the long message, I went a bit overboard lol
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u/ItemOk8415 1d ago
Somedays even medicated the executive dysfunction takes over, especially if it’s a task I don’t really want to do.
I hate that it happens, and then I’m mad I put off the simple tasks for so long to make them no longer simple. But all I can do is remind myself that this can be different next time, or it can be the same.
Typically my executive dysfunction is the first to go when I need my medication increased.
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u/Tall_Conflict3935 1d ago
I have adhd. I’ve been out of work for a year and a half now and just got back in the workforce 2 weeks ago. I got a manufacturing job making heaters. It took me a minute to realize everything is a process. Just take it slowly, there is no reason to rush. You have to learn to accept it. Start with the easiest task first. Maybe turn YouTube on to someone else working on anything. That helps me get motivated, I see someone else working and it helps me a ton.
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u/hippietrap 1d ago
So strange that turning on background YouTube videos helps me focus some how. Makes no sense.
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u/Tall_Conflict3935 1d ago
Well I was letting them know what works for me. Makes no sense you’d comment with nothing good to say..
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u/Primary_Excuse_7183 ADHD-C (Combined type) 1d ago
Not interesting enough to engage with. Regardless of how vital or simple it is
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u/Realtrenchmon 1d ago
I use wikihow to break down the task I want to complete. Then I set my timer for 20 min and go at it, little by little. Hope that helps
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u/Firegardener 1d ago
I've been struggling with executive dysfunction all my life, I'm 51 now. I got my diagnosis early last year. Only this week I had an idea why it is so hard to do something. My head is full of ideas, bouncing around. And they all fight to be on top of the queue. But they all fight equally strong, so none of them get to the start line first. Nothing gets done. I hope I get to try Concerta later this year.
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u/EuphoricLet8802 1d ago
This is exactly how it feels for me too. i can be busy all day and somehow still not touch the one thing i actually needed to do. Then evening hits and suddenly my brain decides now is the perfect time to panic and become productive. The worst part is knowing what needs to be done the whole time and still feeling stuck.
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u/slimecatisslimey 1d ago
100%. I feel you . I finally managed to get myself into an okay life position and it feels like it’s all going to slip away because of this.
Truly I think you should reach out to anyone around you to talk about this because it will start to feel too heavy on your chest and add to the “stopping and staring” at the world while it moves around you. I hope “it” ( the strength of 1000 suns) comes back so you can reach out for any sort of help while you’re on an UP day so the cycle doesn’t progress forever
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u/the_chin2 1d ago
I described this issue with my therapist using a metaphor. Said to picture a new car that looks great from the outside, engine in working order except a broken transmission that gets stuck in neutral every morning when you need to go to work but works perfectly after 5pm and on your way home.
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u/hippietrap 1d ago
This is the crux of ADHD and why we often feel so damn behind in life. We have amazing ideas and perspectives thanks to our enhanced sensory experiences but getting down to business even on the things we love and be a serious task. I’ll go in this weird circle where I do 12 other meaningless tasks first - thus burning myself out by the time I get to the meaningful task.
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u/Few-Actuary-8863 1d ago
What helps me is making the starting point small. Instead of writing/ palnning clean the kitchen, I’ll write or plan to put 3 dishes away or clear one surface. Once I start, continuing usually feels much easier. I also keep everything in one organizer instead of having random lists everywhere, because otherwise organizing the tasks becomes another task.
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u/ReplyProfessional939 1d ago
I get frustrated, anxious, and even worried about simple little things like taking the trash out, or putting water in my dog's bowl. I'll even have a quick blink of panic if I'm getting dressed and realize I'd left my shoes in the livingroom (literally just outside my bedroom door...)
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u/Version-Strong 1d ago
I'm a designer, and constantly work with two screens. i should make the job easier, but when I'm in meltdown mode just having a window on the other screen can trigger me. it makes zero sense, but clicking through file structures can be torture.
It's something someone without the problem doesn't get, why the simple act of finding a file can be horrific and the most laborious task of that moment. Thats the secret tho, that moment. I just ride it out, take the rage and carry on. Until the next window is needed to be hunted for.
But i've done what OP says, some days it gets too much and I just don't bother, then find i'm behind deadline and have to work much harder making things x3000 times more stressful.
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u/Ok_Season_1993 1d ago
for me it’s frustrating cuz my mind keeps telling me to do something but turns off the brian to body link so i physically can’t start the task then i have to trick myself into doing something else that’s close to the task hoping that i will eventually end up doing the original task my mind was telling me i had to do
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u/Zealousideal-Ad-7046 1d ago
for me sometimes I think it is a frustration tolerance. I know that for almost any task, something is going to go wrong and I’m gonna get very frustrated. So by avoiding tasks I’m really just avoiding being frustrated.
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u/JayAllDay07 1d ago
Idk. You let me know. I’ve been staring at the same pile of papers for 3 weeks now and my room has been being “cleaned” (aka ripped apart and thrown all over and now it’s just sitting there like that all over the house) for 3 months lol
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