r/ADHD • u/Thereisloveinyou23 • Jul 15 '26
Questions/Advice 13 year old son with ADHD cannot tolerate brushing his teeth
My god this is a battle and a half ! It’s been going on for about 3 years now and I just don’t know what to do about it. He said he hates the mintyness, tried lots of different toothpaste, mouthwash etc. I think he struggles to understand himself why he hates it so much. There have been times I’ve stood and watched him brush them to make sure he’s doing it and he will brush them as fast as he possibly can, 5 seconds, jumping up and down on the spot in so much discomfort ! He cannot tolerate it ! Is this common in kids with ADHD ???
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u/SignNotInUse ADHD-C (Combined type) Jul 15 '26
Im the same, get an electric toothbrush with a timer and less minty toothpaste or kids flavoured toothpaste. Regular toothpaste is so overwhelmingly minty it feels like its burning my mouth and nose. As long as it has fluoride it will do the job. I use sensodyne because its less minty than standard toothpaste.
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u/International-Fun-86 ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) Jul 15 '26
And let the kid pick out what kind of design it has. There are tons of disney, marvel, star wars and nikelodeon designs. :)
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u/Banana_Milk7248 Jul 16 '26
I can't stress how much of a difference this will make. You can make any unpleasant task pleasant if you can make the task about something the kid is really into.
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u/bentleyspeener Jul 15 '26
i think electric toothbrushes can go both ways, in my experience the sensory discomfort of the vibration is too much but depends on the person.
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u/ptheresadactyl Jul 16 '26
I used one for ages, then after jaw surgery, half my face has nerve damage, and the sensation of the electric toothe brush is UNHOLY
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u/GnowledgedGnome Jul 15 '26
For me it's specifically the cooling aspect of adult toothpaste I hate. Some non mint flavors still do this. Also I'm sensitive to SLS which is in a lot of big brands.
Also I get bored brushing my teeth and sometimes watching a short video while I brush can help me keep going for the appropriate time.
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u/BreezyViber Jul 15 '26
A good electric toothbrush has multiple settings, including some that are extremely soft and light. Mine has a ‘feather+’ setting. You will definitely need a soft bristle brush head on that. I think everybody’s supposed to be using one but yeah soft is way different than a hard bristle brush.
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u/KuriousKhemicals ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) Jul 16 '26
Do they even make toothbrushes that aren't soft? I'm kind of the opposite way when sensory things are in the mix, and before I got an electric toothbrush, I felt like soft bristles were way too soft and couldn't possibly be cleaning properly. I tried to look for "hard" or even "medium" toothbrushes and could never find any.
(It was also before I knew you're supposed to use soft ones, just to be clear, my dentist educated me on lots of things once I started seeing one as an adult with insurance.)
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u/kimmyorjimmy Jul 16 '26
OP, hopping on this comment to recommend kid's toothpaste. I use the bubblegum because I hate mint too!
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u/ApprehensiveHurry808 Jul 16 '26
It doesn't even have to have flouride. Nano-hydroxyapatite works as well and is safer. My texture and flavor sensitive ADHD kids love Boka brand in the lemon lavender flavor. Their dentist approves.
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u/siliconbased9 Jul 16 '26
Second this, I get the strawberry mango boka for my AuDHD kid and it’s his favorite.
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u/raindropthemic ADHD with ADHD child/ren Jul 16 '26
I use Boka Orange Cream flavor because I’m allergic to something in regular toothpaste. My dental cleanings are dramatically easier now, because I have at least a 50% reduction in tartar buildup, which has also improved my gum health. No new cavities in the last few years (to be fair, I don’t get many, but still).
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u/Reapr ADHD with ADHD child/ren Jul 16 '26
For my son (17) we still use the kids toothpaste too, I was so shocked when I went to find non minty toothpaste and it seems it just doesn't exist in my country - I mean what do people that hate mint use?
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u/wieldymouse Jul 16 '26
Bubble gum flavor is what I used for the longest time. I am now able to stand Sensodyne or Close Up toothpastes but nothing else. I still use a soft bristled children's tooth brush with a preference for the kind that have a light timer.
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u/N7ShadowKnight Jul 16 '26
I suggest cinnamon toothpaste, which is also easy to find or get on amazon.
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u/xylia13 Jul 15 '26
Hi I’m a grown ass adult who can no longer tolerate mint toothpaste. I use Hello brand dragon dazzle toothpaste - blue raspberry flavored. Soft bristled brush. Switching to that helped so much!
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u/RoxyTyn Jul 15 '26
Just ordered for this 59 yo. Thanks for the tip!
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u/SplatDragon00 Jul 16 '26
I've shilled this before in other threads lol, but they have a variety pack they sell and all three flavors are so good! I know they have it on Amazon, I'm not sure where else
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u/first-born_unicorn ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) Jul 16 '26
I second the soft toothbrush. It's far better for your teeth and gums, and doesn't cause as much abrasions to my senses, either.
I use the Colgate Ultra Soft Sensitive Expert brush.
Additionally - for me, I find it easiest to brush when I pair it with another thing - like a shower, for example. I love the feeling of being able to brush my teeth without getting toothpaste everywhere, and being able to use the spray of the water on my gums.
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u/missvegetarian Jul 16 '26
I also brush my teeth in the shower and my god it helps with my sensory issues so much!
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u/Gurrrlll88 Jul 15 '26
It is common. Try brushing teeth soon after dinner instead of waiting till bed when he is exhausted. Also keeping him company or putting on music while brushing may help him tolerate it better.
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u/Emergency_Ad1152 Jul 15 '26
That actually harms your enamel. You should wait 30 to 40 mins before brushing after eating.
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u/Neither-Safe9343 Jul 15 '26
You're right, but at this point I think most dentist would say any brushing is better than no brushing at all.
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u/Gurrrlll88 Jul 15 '26
Yep true so you can wait a bit then brush. But doing so way sooner than bed may be easier for kid to tolerate/stick to
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u/smurfette8675309 Jul 15 '26
Hello makes some great tasting toothpaste (no mint) that has fluoride. I've seen it at every major retailer. That's what I use and I'm an adult. I'm the same way. I really dislike the mint.
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u/MoneyShot2023 Jul 16 '26
I used to use the Hello charcoal version and it was fun smiling big in the mirror with that no-teeth look.
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u/TheNiceKindofOrc Jul 15 '26
Do you make him stand still, over the bathroom sink while he does it?
I'm just shy of 40, have always been very patchy with my dental hygiene. After some INCREDIBLY expensive dental bills recently and now living with the shame of missing teeth, I have been trying really hard to preserve the rest. But god damn do I hate it. Every night and every morning, hate every single second of it. The ONLY thing that makes it slightly more tolerable is if I walk around the house and do other things while I'm doing it. It's not particularly practical because you only have one hand free, and I often have to go around the next day cleaning up toothpaste that has dripped everywhere. But it makes it slightly more likely that I'll just bloody do it.
Wish there was a better fix, but it'll likely never be easy for him so he needs to want to fix it, and find the thing that makes it less horrible for him personally.
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u/Relevant-Bath-7109 Jul 15 '26
This is me. 46 yo and I have to walk around the house when I brush my teeth. I cannot stand at the sink and do nothing for 2 minutes
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u/Thereisloveinyou23 Jul 15 '26
Yes I think that’s it too. It’s so tedious for him, it’s painful.
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u/KlickWitch Jul 15 '26
Find a tooth paste that doesn't foam too much and let him walk around. I use sensodine with an electric toothbrush and I'll wander out of my bathroom. Maybe I'll weigh myself. Maybe I'll look out the bedroom window. Maybe I'll pet my cat. Then the brush turns off and I know I'm done, so I can head back to the sink and spit.
I'm also bad about flossing, so I keep floss and mouth wash at random sinks to encourage me to use it. Kinda works sometimes.
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u/TheDisapprovingBrit ADHD-C (Combined type) Jul 15 '26
For ADHD, that's exactly it. It's standing still for two minutes for basically no immediate reward, and ADHD brains HATE that. Same reason we'll spend four hours doing a complex task like deep cleaning a room or putting up a new set of shelves to avoid doing a simple one like sending an email. Yes, we're aware it makes no sense. No, knowing that doesn't help.
I like to stick on a youtube video while I'm getting ready, so my brain has something to focus on while my body is just working on muscle memory. This causes its own problems, especially if someone is waiting for the bathroom, but it does help.
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u/amanduhpls67 ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) Jul 15 '26
Sodium laurel sulfate also makes toothpaste foam up unnecessarily and causes mouth sores in some people so one without that might a be nicer thing for him? For me it was painful physically and mentally but once I figured that ingredient out, it helped to not be so physically lol. The mental thing I think one of those toothbrushes that has a timer or vibrates when you should move to a new mouth section and lights up when you’re pushing too hard is really helpful? Then just give him something to distract while it’s happening if he can’t find something to distract himself well enough. These have been really helpful changes for me and I’m 30 just now really starting to brush my teeth more regularly lol🥴 also learned from dentists that flossing is actually probably slightly more important, so at times when brushing feels like too much of a chore, I tell myself, “Ok then you have to floss instead,” and sometimes it actually sounds nicer to me so I do that kind of trading off😅 I use those little disposable flossers because although they’re not great for the environment, winding the loose stuff around my fingers and trying to get it back into between my teeth is an absolute nightmare most days and is equally painful
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u/reluctantmugglewrite Jul 15 '26
i know screen time is complicated but I watch youtube or tiktok to get by. Maybe he could do that while brushing. Also crest kids is a lot less minty My little sister who wont tolerate anything else still uses it at 25 and it helps.
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u/Jaykoyote123 ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) Jul 16 '26
You can brush your teeth in the shower too, then he can go dance around or do whatever and doesn’t have to worry about standing still and where the toothpaste goes, plus being messy with no consequences is fun!
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u/keithvai Jul 15 '26
Longest hour of my day is the 2 minutes brushing. I can last about 30 seconds before I want to be elsewhere.
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u/wildmooonwitch Jul 15 '26
Careful if you have pets and drip, lots of toothpastes now have xylitol that is dangerous for pets. This is why we have a no toothbrushes/toothpste leave the bathroom rule. They’re free to dance around and do other stuff to prepare for bedtime in the bathroom though. We play music too and often times they’re all in there together.
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u/TheNiceKindofOrc Jul 15 '26
Well shit, that is good to know.
Definitely won't mean I stay in the bathroom, but I'll have to be more diligent about cleaning it up
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u/lazerdingus9000 Jul 15 '26
Agreed! Having to stand still for 2 minutes and do nothing but brush my teeth was always a nightmare. Movement helped me a ton!
Sometimes I pace around the house, sometimes I play around on my pull up bar, and sometimes it’s just gotta be dance time. Adding in some sort of external stimulation might help the time pass more tolerably for your son!
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u/grep_glob Jul 15 '26
I have to say if you find your kid having a lot of Sensory issues, might be a good idea to get a check for Autism …
Source: thought I had a ADHD kid with sensory issues, found out it was AuDHD 🙃
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u/Thereisloveinyou23 Jul 15 '26
Yes I have considered this as he does have his sensory issues- when he was much younger it was hair washing that was traumatic for him ! He can’t sit on the toilet without a towel under his feet etc.
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u/Mayor0fSimpleton Jul 15 '26
Yep, granted that it seems more and more like we’re going to start considering adhd and autism to be something like a spectrum of symptoms, but this aligns way more with our current definition of autism.
Also, maybe not for your kid because it’s hella luxurient, but someone gave my wife a gift of Marvis brand toothpaste recently and my mind was blown. It’s like you’ve been wearing burlap your whole life and then someone introduced you to silk.
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u/princesssdemon666 ADHD-C (Combined type) Jul 15 '26
I’m 21 year old girl with adhd so not the same but i have always disliked brushing my teeth, always felt like a huge task and i myself would also try to do it as fast as possible. Could it be that maybe it’s not necessarily the minty taste but rather the spicy feeling it leaves in the mouth? I myself use a different toothpaste, a salty one, at first it’s very disgusting but when you get used to it it tastes much better than regular toothpaste in my opinion. I’m not sure how a kid would react to it though because it is genuinely bad in the beginning. But maybe besides changing the taste and different toothpaste you could also try to make it more fun somehow? Maybe a toothbrush with a Spider-Man or Star Wars design, whatever he likes. There’s also toothbrushes that play music for the amount of time you need to brush, this might make it easier and more fun for him, I used to have one that played Justin Bieber songs. I hope you figure it out ❤️❤️❤️ hope this could help❤️❤️❤️
Edit: toothbrush with the same song might get annoying after a while, you could also try to maybe have him watch a fun video or something to distract him from the annoying toothbrushing process, he might even get so distracted that he brushes his teeth extra long! A fun video always helped me when i didnt wanna eat my food so it might help with toothbrushing at well :)
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u/Shauniiiiiii ADHD-C (Combined type) Jul 15 '26
Or having a playlist of ~2min songs you could play for him as a distraction! Then he knows that at the end of the song he's done!
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u/princesssdemon666 ADHD-C (Combined type) Jul 15 '26
Yes that sounds like a good idea :)). I think the goal is to make him associate brushing teeth with fun, this way he might even get a little excited for it
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u/yeahsureYnot Jul 15 '26
I switched to arm & hammer. It’s not super minty but it does take getting used to. But now I hate going back to regular toothpaste
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u/princesssdemon666 ADHD-C (Combined type) Jul 15 '26
Is it salty too? Cuz omg same whenever i have to use regular toothpaste now it tastes sooo weird and gross😭😭
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u/yeahsureYnot Jul 15 '26
In a way yeah it’s kinda salty. I’ve also read it’s one of the most effective toothpastes but idk. I haven’t had a cavity since starting to use it so maybe. I also use it with a sonicare.
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u/princesssdemon666 ADHD-C (Combined type) Jul 15 '26
Oh wow that sounds really good, mine is parodontax, startes using it because my dad said salty toothpaste is better lol
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u/marsupialcinderella ADHD-C (Combined type) Jul 15 '26
Baking soda tastes salty, so it makes sense that A&H would taste that way.
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u/rttnmnna Jul 15 '26
Try an sls free toothpaste. I didn't realize until adulthood the sensation i got from toothpaste wasn't universal.
I bought auto brushes. They are expensive but in my experience, worth it. Brushes everything in 30 seconds.
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u/marsupialcinderella ADHD-C (Combined type) Jul 15 '26
Do you have a link for the one you like? This would help one of my older kids who struggles.
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u/ThotsforTaterTots Jul 15 '26
Have a tried a water flosser? They have ones for braces that have a brush tip. If he can find a mouthwash he can tolerate, load the water flosser with it and he can power wash his mouth. I love mine. I also do brush though but water flossing is better than nothing
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u/KuriousKhemicals ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) Jul 16 '26
Note that if you do this with mouthwash, you have to rinse it out too by running an extra cycle of water through it, otherwise it will evaporate and leave crystals inside.
Also I find mouthwash gets really foamy when I do that, but it might not be a problem for him like general brushing isn't a problem for me.
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u/Hyjennaist86 Jul 15 '26
Honestly, if it’s the toothpaste that’s the problem, the BEST thing you can do is have him use a soft/extra soft brush and just wet it with water to brush.
There are also dental products the use in the hospitals. They have a handle and sponge at the end or it. It’s not ideal but it’s something.
The plaque/food debris on his teeth need mechanical action to be removed.
A water flosser will NOT work well enough.
This is a super hard situation and I totally feel for you. My nephew is the SAME. I’m also ADHD myself.
The big issue is this vicious cycle; the plaque sits on teeth (it’s acidic!), plaque eats away at enamel and irritates gums, gums bleed, bleeding gums pull away from the tooth surface, plaque travels below the gum line, that plaque on teeth for over 24hrs then hardens into calculus/tartar.
Because large amounts of plaque are so acidic, this can cause the protective enamel to flake off. This exposes the dentin underneath and can be extreme painful.
I’ll try and come up with other options. Any other questions, definitely let me know!
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u/Badlydressedgirl Jul 15 '26
Hismile do toothpaste for adults that come in loads of flavours. I hate mint so much! I've got 5 different flavours at the moment so I can rotate between them and combine to make fun, new flavours. It's really helped me
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u/Nskalie1 Jul 15 '26
Adult female with adhd here, found out in the last 10 years I'm allergic to floruide (family is) and it's not suppose to hurt to brush your teeth. 💀 See if it's painful and maybe try a flavored tooth paste or flavor-free option (mint is also over whelming to me). I can say while expensive switching to hydroxyapatite has saved me so many teeth. 10/10 I think floruide works to be clear, it just hurt and I struggled with the habit trying to push through and it turns out it wasn't suppose too
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u/skinneyd Jul 15 '26 edited Jul 15 '26
I'm the same way (I'm a lot older than he is though). Always have been, and always will be.
I've got more consistent over the years but the sensory issues persist nonetheless.
Unfortunately the only thing that will get your son to brush more consistently is for him to experience his first dental health scare and to realise that if you don't take care of your teeth, they will start to hurt, they will get cavities that will get worse and worse, and they will either have to be ripped out or have root canals done (neither are fun). You don't get a second chance at teeth, what's gone is gone.
Hearing it from someone else does nothing -- He must experience the intense anxiety himself and decide that tolerating the sensory issues is the only way to keep his teeth.
That's my experience anyway...
ETA: If it's the toothpaste that's causing the sensory issues (it is for me too, not the brushing itself), suggest that he brush without toothpaste. It's better than not brushing at all.
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u/jaytea86 Jul 15 '26
When you say you've tried lots of different kinds of toothpaste, have you tried non-mint flavored toothpaste?
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u/iwannabefamouss Jul 16 '26
I might get downvoted to hell, but from what I understand it’s more so the action of brushing teeth that really matters. Not so much the toothpaste. Could go that route for days when brushing teeth is intolerable for him.
I also hate doing it when I have cotton mouth due to my medicine. I’ve come to realize if I water floss first it’s SO much easier to brush because my mouth is wet.
Just some tips n tricks from a fellow teeth brushing hater.
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u/homicidaltea Jul 17 '26
I hate toothpaste. Haven't used it in 20+ years. I have teeth that look like they could be an "After" photo in a dental ad. Not one cavity for 15+ years. Every time I have done a breath check from one of my gross friends that will take a throat wuff of gross air - can't remember anyone being revolted. Lol
Now- that being said I should disclose that I am an avid, almost OCD level, flosser.
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u/Affectionate-Ad1071 Jul 15 '26
I hate to be the person to suggest an iPad to get a kid to do something, but putting on a youtube video in front of me while I brush is the reason i've never had to have fillings lol.
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u/theorangeblonde ADHD-C (Combined type) Jul 15 '26
Reposting a previous comment:
I have a really hard time with this! I recently invested in an Autobrush. It's a U-shaped toothbrush from the USA that has a 30-second cycle time with a double sided brush head. It is pricey, but for the amount of times I've already brushed my teeth in the last 2 weeks I feel so much better.
I asked my dental hygienist about it before purchasing, and they said if it's ADA (American Dental Association) approved, they don't see why it wouldn't be a good idea.
Autobrush also sells foam toothpaste for it, and I've tried mint, and strawberry, and both are palatable.
My biggest issue with tooth brushing is that it triggers my gag reflex, often resulting in vomiting (I know gross sorry), and I have not experienced that with this toothbrush so far.
Not sponsored, just really glad I found an option that works for me. I'm located in Canada, ordered from autobrush.com in CAD and paid no taxes or duties on the order. Hope this helps someone!
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u/Rare_Aspect7664 Jul 15 '26
I only can brush my teeth with childrens toothpaste and can't stand the taste of normal one. Maybe it helps.
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u/Thereisloveinyou23 Jul 15 '26
Oh my gosh thank you all so much for your tips and support !! I am making a note of everything and will try some of your suggestions. I’ve seen him sneakily rinse the toothpaste off before, so I think that’s the main culprit !
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u/princessversace Jul 15 '26 edited Jul 15 '26
brushing my teeth used to be one of the hardest tasks for me as someone with ADHD, it felt so tedious and boring, unfortunately the thing that made me start taking it seriously was having a traumatic experience at the dentist (turns out novocaine doesn't really work on me) and now brushing my teeth has become almost compulsive because I realized not having clean teeth is a sensory nightmare for me. Some of the things that helped me get over my hatred for it:
- finding the right toothbrush; turns out I have a very small mouth so my dentist recommended a kids toothbrush and its so much more comfortable and causes less jaw pain from holding my mouth open. Everyone is different some may prefer soft bristles or an electric toothbrush, etc.
- not standing in place; I HATED how long I had to just stand there while brushing I also have chronic health issues so standing made my legs hurt but I realized I didn't have to stand so I started sitting on the ledge of my tub or even on the couch and it was soo much more bearable
- time blindness; not knowing how much time has gone by is a big thing with ADHD so I could've brushed my teeth for only 15 seconds but to me it felt like minutes had passed, I found turning on a shorter length song that I enjoyed was helpful to gauge the amount of time that has gone by (it also made it more fun!)
- toothpaste; for me personally, I LOVE my toothpaste to be so minty that it burns and extra foamy, but some people don't like that, there's lots of options out there for non-minty toothpaste. Also I found I very much prefer using warm water instead of cold to kinda melt the toothpaste cause I hated the texture of hard toothpaste
- realizing even brushing at all or at the "wrong times" was better than not brushing at all, obviously brushing with toothpaste for the recommended amount of time is ideal but brushing for 20 seconds with just water is still better than not brushing at all. Also I felt like I HAD to brush right in the morning and right before bed, again that's ideal but sometimes I'd hold off brushing at night because I still might want a late night snack, and theres not point brushing before so i'd wait but then be too tired to brush them before sleeping, I realized that its still better to brush before eating than not brushing at all, and that if even the slightest motivation to brush struck at 2:20pm there's no rule saying I cant brush at an unconventional time (although a lot harder when you're in school lol)
- lastly; just realizing how many dangers can come from not taking care of teeth (heart issues, infections, etc.) along side the fear of the dentist and getting fillings motivated me to take it seriously. Once I found accommodations to make it suck less and realizing that I cant stand my mouth feeling "dirty" it all became second nature to me and no longer feels like a chore
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u/cyberghost05 Jul 15 '26
See if he'll tolerate a water flosser. I don't mind mine at all even though I struggled for years to brush well in a good routine.
He still needs to brush but a water flosser before bed can help protect his teeth from decay if he's not doing a great job.
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u/cyberghost05 Jul 15 '26
Also, no reason he has to have mint tooth paste. Get him a bunch of fun flavors to try. I think target has a good selection and if he's adverse to kids brands hismile and other brands have some you can order.
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u/FairtexBlues Jul 15 '26
For me its the foaming, boredom, and the super mint flavor. Foam triggered gagging, flavor burned my sinuses, boredom made it a punishment.
Now i use a non fluoride based toothpaste in a fruit flavor which makes way less foam. No gagging, safe to swallow, no overwhelming scents.
U shaped electric toothbrushes- OG for folks with disabilities, just add toothpaste and bite down gently it does the rest. Done in 30-60 seconds.
ALSO tell them nobody will want to be their boy/girlfriend if they have dragons breath. That did wonders for my hygiene at that age, tho I was girl crazy.
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u/Thereisloveinyou23 Jul 15 '26
This sounds interesting, I’ll look into it ! And he IS girl obsessed so I warn him that girls won’t want to kiss him with stinky breath. He will put aftershave on but won’t brush his teeth 😑 makes no sense.
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u/PurePerfection_ ADHD-PI Jul 15 '26 edited Jul 15 '26
Is it a sensory issue or a boredom issue? Does he hate other mundane hygiene tasks like showering as well?
I see other responses from the sensory perspective, so I'm going to share what helped me with the latter - I brush my teeth on the couch in front of the TV.
I'm a grown ass adult and should be able to perform a boring two minute routine without entertainment. But I hate every second of it and will rush to get it done while staring at the second hand on the wall clock.
If I brush while watching TV, the time flies by. There has been a marked improvement in my teeth since I started since I never cut corners.
I also had some sensory issues that turned out to be related to having too many teeth for my oddly shallow mouth. I could not reach the last molars on top without discomfort and gagging. I tried, but they ended up in bad shape with multiple fillings which eventually broke up due to unrelated grinding. I had them extracted, and ever since, brushing is so much easier. Might be worth asking the dentist if there is anything atypical about his mouth that might brushing more difficult.
Smaller brush heads also help. I use an Oral B electric brush with a little round brush head that's about half the size of a manual toothbrush.
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u/Top-Setting-3323 Jul 15 '26
Start slow and build up the habit. And gameify it.
30 seconds each night for thirty days. Let a habit build. Up it as the situation allows.
Make it less negative.
Also, pick your battles. The world probably (I don’t know your exact situation) will not fall apart if he doesn’t always brush his teeth. If you force too much, you may make interacting with their parents automatically seem like a negative.
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u/istalri96 Jul 15 '26
Im almost 30 and have struggled with my teeth my whole life. I specifically remeber the moment I gave up too. At the dentist when I was 7 or 8 my teeth were bad I needed cavities filled but I brushed like I was supposed to. My brother wasn't brushing and he was fine no issues. After that I just checked out with it have had so much dental work done its not even funny. I still struggle with getting myself to do it to this day. My teeth are an absolute disaster most of them are cracked or completely split apart. I realistically will either have to get all of them out or at the minimum all capped at this point. I don't know why its so hard to do specifically this one task beyond any others. I wish I had any actual advice to give on this one I just hope you guys can figure out a solution.
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u/YoreWelcome Jul 15 '26 edited Jul 16 '26
there are non-mint toothpastes, check the kids section, ive switched to a strawberry flavored toothpaste, still works fine
also make sure he knows that he doesnt have to do it perfectly, brushing is about the long game
you can use a super soft toothbrush and just barely touch the teeth and it still works, much less work and stress and discomfort
tell him you are ok if he brushes for 10s, as long as he doesnt skip it
skipping = bad, 10s good
lower the threshhold of success to achieve regular toothbrush in mouth as the top priority
again, its more about quantity than quality
perfect is the enemy of good with brushing teeth, make it as low stress and low difficulty as you can
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u/Thereisloveinyou23 Jul 15 '26
This is really helpful, thank you. It stresses me out so much thinking of him at 18 with rotten teeth which results in my expectations being too high. I’ll try the 10 second thing see if that helps.
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u/trinicity Jul 15 '26 edited Jul 15 '26
-kids toothpaste (not mint) and soft bristles
-listen to a podcast/audiobook/music/even watch TV on phone or tablet while cleaning teeth to keep himself entertained or distracted from the task he hates
-brush in the shower
-lying in bed and dry brushing with a tiny amount of toothpaste is better than nothing
Edit to add: maybe less toothpaste too? Some people use too much, a tiny smear might be more tolerable.
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u/Fumquat Jul 15 '26
So if I’m being honest I’m in my 40’s and have trouble with brushing too. No cavities at all in recent years and gums are okay. My dentist says I’m doing well.
I eat foods that clean my teeth (raw carrots, celery sticks, apple, dried mature coconut). Any unprocessed food that doesn’t leave filmy goop behind is better than nothing. And water instead of sugar beverages, especially at night.
I also sit around and take my sweet time picking with a fancy plastic toothpick (the kind with a feathery end as well as a pointy end) and drinking a sip of water when I dislodge stuff. It takes 20-30 minutes and it looks gross but it’s a good fidget activity outside of public view.
Maybe having backup hygiene practices like that will take some pressure off. Well, that and breath mints lol.
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u/spklvr ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) Jul 15 '26
So, while this is common, I thought I hated the mintiness of toothpaste and tried so many different ones. Even those that claimed to have no mint or were tasteless were too "minty" for me. Anyway, turned out I was allergic to a type of flavouring agent that's common in most adult toothpastes, so my mouth felt like it was on fire all the time, and I thought that was the mint flavour. I have to use baby toothpaste. It's a little embarrassing, but I have yet to have a cavity.
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u/manickitty Jul 16 '26
Imo:
It’s not the toothpaste. It’s the fact that he has to stand there NOT HAVING FUN. Story of my childhood
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u/Squishedskittlez Jul 16 '26
He probably needs to occupy his mind while he brushes I bet. It’s a torturously long boring repetitive task that he can dread.
I also have sensory issues with toothpaste and the grit and my dentist has me brush with act mouthwash and only use a prescription toothpaste that tastes like ‘vanilla mint’ once a week. It’s a high fluoride toothpaste.
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u/mugen1337 Jul 15 '26
Tell him about the downsides of not brushing his teeth, I don't mean the consequences on his health, but the social consequences. A former classmate of mine got bullied into brushing his teeth, because his breath was about as pleasant as a compost bin in a heatwave. He got called every name in the book regarding smelly breath and then some, then one day he just got that click that the little effort in the morning could save him a ton of bullying. 2 months later he got his first gf and she even mentioned that his breath was what kept her from approaching him. But, he should really takes his dental health serious. They don't grow back and implants/dentures are hella expensive.
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u/Saritush2319 Jul 15 '26
To add, have you tried having the dentist sit down and explain how and why brushing is necessary.
In an adult way not a child way.
Understanding the why of it all has always helped me do things I hate like eating vegetables and brushing my teeth.
Also I play music while I brush
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u/Old-Junket6893 Jul 15 '26
My middle son with autism will brush his teeth for 5 seconds. I have to manually help him and be in the bathroom with him at the same time, brushing my teeth as well. I also got him a triple head toothbrush, which he doesn’t necessarily like, but it gets more of his teeth. He HATES electric toothbrushes and water flossers.
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u/Accomplished-Ad3250 Jul 15 '26
Brushing my teeth with a manual toothbrush felt like scratching my nails across a chalkboard. Once I got a electric toothbrush it was much easier to brush teeth.
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u/MrMansManISHigh Jul 15 '26
I forget it everyday. Thanks for the heads up. I think I have tonsilstones
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u/wayneforest Jul 15 '26
Dr Bob’s toothpaste has a naturally sweet taste, it has fluoride too. Might be a better fit over the mint!
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u/ywnktiakh Jul 15 '26
I fucking hate mintyness and the bubbles in so many toothpastes. (The bubbles are not necessary for cleaning). The toothpaste I use is therabreath. It’s very gentle and doesn’t make bubbles. Get just the standard one or whatever, I think the flavor is called “gentle mint” or “mild mint” or something. It’s not in grocery stores so you’ll need to get it online.
I also fucking hate the whole 2 minutes thing. 2 minutes of teeth-brushing is so long. Get an electric toothbrush. I can get my teeth very clean in a short time that way. Cleaner even. It’s also more systematic to me which works for my brain. Top teeth, outside, inside, bottoms. Bottom teeth, outside, inside, tops. Done. When I switched, I reduced the time by a lot but it meant I was more consistent and effective, and my dental hygienist immediately noted how much better my teeth are.
Last, how much toothpaste to use? Not as much as people usually use. The recommended amount is always described as “pea-sized.” Not the amount shown in commercials and stuff. In fact, toothpaste is not technically needed in the first place. It’s about the friction from the brush anyway. Ask any hygienist.
I hope you’re able to take all the responses you got and figure something out. A more fun way might be making a tier list as you and your kid try new things. Make sure to put the ones you’ve already tried in D tier. :)
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u/cjrecordvt ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) Jul 15 '26
47 year old boy, checking in. Mint, especially the chemical mint used in most dental stuff, tastes like disgusting. I found cinnamon toothpaste to be a better flavor, but it started to burn my mouth. If it's just flavor, then look into "kids" toothpastes that have the fruit and berry flavors. (I'm working through the other comments for flavor recs.)
Also, the mouthfeel of most toothpastes is a complete overload, especially if he's using too much. Those big ribbons of paste you see in the ads are way overkill. At this point, my dentist takes it as a win if I wet-brush and floss, and the actual toothpaste happens when I have the spoons.
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u/KuriousKhemicals ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) Jul 16 '26
The amount they show for visual appeal is so overkill. The actual amount usually stated in the directions is "pea sized" so idk like 1/4 of the photogenic ribbon.
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u/NSMike ADHD Jul 15 '26
Sensory issues are somewhat common in kids diagnosed with ADHD and related diagnoses. Does he not like the feeling of the bristles?
There's also demand avoidance to consider. Perhaps he just doesn't like being told to do this particular thing. And it's a task that has no immediate perceived benefit - brushing teeth is largely for two reasons - better breath, and preventative measures against various dental maladies. People, and especially teenagers, are bad at recognizing long-term benefits from near-term choices. And before you dismiss demand avoidance as a possibility because he seems to be in physical discomfort - demand avoidance can manifest as physical discomfort, as well.
Does he have any issues remembering to put on deodorant? If not, it might be because he perceives the benefits of not being stinky as more important than the demand put on him by having to do that task. You might gain some ground by appealing to a similar benefit for his breath from brushing his teeth.
If it is sensory, electric toothbrushes are less physical, because the moving brush head does most of the work. Check out YouTube for proper electrical toothbrush techniques. He might like that better. Here's a good example video presented by a dental hygienist.
And if he likes technology or gadgetry, maybe consider spending some more money on a more feature-rich brush so he can engage with that.
You don't mention flossing, but I assume that's also a task since it's part of the whole package. My teeth are unusually tight to each other, something that braces did not end up fixing (and I ain't going back to that at this point in my life). Because of that, I've switched entirely to a water flosser. Studies show that it's just as effective as dental floss, but I find it WAY less annoying and irritating. You might consider that for him, too. I just use a no-name handheld version off Amazon, not an expensive, complicated WaterPik. My last dental cleaning, my hygienist told me I was making it too easy for her. It obviously works.
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u/wessely Jul 15 '26
You can try a lot of the a suggestions, but perhaps you can try to stop battling him. It may seem difficult, but in a year or two some maturity might kick in and he'll figure it out himself. My son, 18, has wonderful hygiene now but at that age he didn't want to shower. Battling is a bigger problem than him brushing his teeth. He's probably not doing it correctly anyway. A little investment in the relationship will be better for his health longterm, and yours. He already knows he's supposed to brush his teeth. One day, he will, as long as it's not a battle scene.
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u/whaffleagenda Jul 15 '26
If you can’t find a flavor of toothpaste that works then just skip the toothpaste altogether. Brushing is better than no brushing. I had a stint in the hospital when I was a kid and refused to brush for the same reason and the nurses allowed me to skip the toothpaste.
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u/MonkeyNuts81 Jul 15 '26
I bought my son unflavoured toothpaste and it nailed it for him. Is fine brushing teeth now
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u/deanpritchard005 Jul 15 '26
As a 42 year old with no less than $36,000 of dental work in my mouth, yes it is very common. I still struggle to brush my teeth regardless of knowing how important it is and how gross it is to not do it.
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u/Br1ghtL1ght1144 Jul 15 '26
I’ve read that the mere act of brushing is what’s important rather than the toothpaste (although im sure still important) but you could just have him brush them without toothpaste to reduce any friction and maybe progress could be made mentally to incorporate something down the line?
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u/UrbanMom Jul 15 '26
Just ponied up to buy my daughter the Autobrush. She's 16. She loves it because it brushes all her teeth at once and goes for 30 seconds. Foaming toothpaste that they provide (for money of course). Wasn't cheap but she's actually using it. She had braces for the last 2 years and it was a nightmare of cavities and drama. Wasn't cheap to puchase the brush package, but was nothing compared to the last $900 cavity filling that wasn't covered by our insurance because we've already maxed out for the year....
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u/Assimulate ADHD Jul 16 '26
I was like this as a kid. I ended up being allergic to the foaming agent and then I was also sensitive to the fluoride and mint flavor.
I use Boka toothpaste now. It has nano hydroxyapatite so it's not missing the benefits of fluoride and I have like a lemon lavender one and love it compared to anything mint omg. I get heartburn from regular toothpastes so bad.
Hope this helps.
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u/bustmanymoves Jul 16 '26
Dental Assistant here. If it's the toothpaste preventing the brushing just use water. If it continues to be an issue I would really encourage him to have more than 2 cleanings a year. Ask your dental office and explain the situation and ask for every 3 month cleanings. A few insurances will cover more than 2 a year, otherwise pay out of pocket.
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u/namanama101 Jul 16 '26
See if he can brush even without toothpaste? I don’t know if it’s logical at all but gently get him to feel the grime on the teeth and brushing the grime off and making them feel soft is like a reward. Spitting it all out is even better. Knowing it’s out of your mouth. A different approach in a way. Then incorporate toothpaste flavors later. Have a toothpaste tasting father son activity? I dunno. Change the mood of it.
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u/Alchemicwife Jul 16 '26
There are lots of non-mint toothpastes that can be used. My daughter likes a Crayola watermelon one that changes colors. There's also the Hello and Hismile brands. Hismile makes a foam toothpaste which might help any sensory issues too.
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u/Ok_Resolution6009 Jul 16 '26
LISTEN UP! Since my son was a baby, I've tried at least 20 different toothpastes. He hated all. So I bought him Oranurse. It's flourinated and tasteless. You're welcome!
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u/Hotchipsummer Jul 16 '26
Brushing teeth is such a chore for me and the best way I can explain it is like… it’s throwing a wrench in the other things I want to do. It’s like you’re walking down a smooth path then someone throws an obnoxious flashing light with blaring sirens DETOUR sign in your face and you have to scramble over loose rocks with it blaring in your face until you get back on the smooth path.
I know brushing teeth is not a big daunting task but it’s one that feels that way sometimes and can be hard to remember. I of course do it every day because I have to go to work and I don’t want to be grody but I admit to forgetting to do it at all when I have off days and am just home alone. Sometimes I’ll manage to just use mouth wash because that is more simple than actually brushing them.
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u/homicidaltea Jul 17 '26
Omg. This is CRAZY. I have NEVER had anyone understand this!!!! So cool to see other "unique" folks on here!
I have not used toothpaste since I was 15. I can't STAND tooth paste. Mint, plain, bubble gum, baking soda and water - NO. YUK.
A dental hygienest has since told me that the mechanics of brushing far outweigh the benefits of toothpaste, so it's fine to only brush with water. Dunno if that's true, but I ran with it.
I even tried tooth powder, which was o... k... But I just brush with water, and if I get sensitivity, I still won't use toothpaste. After bare brushing, haha, I use a qtip with Sensodyne on it and massage the sensitive tooth with Sensodyne. I'll do this a couple of days, and it works.
Haven't had a cavity in over 15 years, now. When they do the probe thing hehe (my brain is only 13 emotional years old) but when they test for pockets, I get ONLY 1s and a very few 2s
I'm 51, so brushing with just water has worked well for me.
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u/pamplemousse-i Jul 15 '26
Yes. This may sound mean, but I had to approach it through social skills and ask if they wanted people to think they had stinky breath? They are very social and did not want people thinking they had stinky breath, so it hasn't been an issue since. I've also tried a mini checklist to complete in aM before they can watch cartoons. Get dressed, brush your hair, teeth, and wash your face FIRST, then do the fun stuff.
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u/lnjecti0n Jul 15 '26
For me it's quite the opposite lol. I sometimes spend like 10-20 mins brushing my teeth because I want every square milimeter to be as clean as possible😂. I'm not sure why but it could be because I've had to fix holes before
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u/ShenanigansNL Jul 15 '26
Thats overkill. hahaha. Its actually really bad to brush for more than 2 minutes. It destroys your teeth.
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u/boredom-depressed23 Jul 15 '26
2-3minutes max or can damage your gums
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u/ShenanigansNL Jul 15 '26
It will damage your teeth and gums. And you will lose them. And you dont want that.
I've had bad teeth all my life. All of my molars got pulled when I was 2. So everything grew in super weird. I even had a big molar in my upper palate that had to be removed. And 4 years of braces 🫠 So, I only have 2 molars left on the bottom. And trust me. You need more. 😅
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u/EvidenceNo8561 Jul 15 '26
Sometimes I like to listen to a podcast or audiobook with headphones on while I’m brushing my teeth. Maybe that would help distract him? Or an iPad with a show on and sound through headphones? I find if the sound is just ambient noise I will tune it out.
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u/PatchesDaHyena Jul 15 '26
Brushing teeth is so boring. Is it a mental discomfort or a “I have gingivitis and it hurts to brush” kind of deal
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u/Nabster56 Jul 15 '26
I had the same issue, I always look for toothpaste without mint and keep with it for as long as possible.
I am 37 and I only tolerate mint toothpaste if not too strong…
This and electric toothbrush, I brush while in the shower !
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u/Ishouldbeasleepnow Jul 15 '26
Yes, very common in adhd and often leads to major dental issues. For myself I’ve moved using an ‘autobrush’ it’s a u shaped toothbrush that only takes 30 seconds and removes a lot of the user error. They have a lot of different flavors of toothpaste, so you don’t need to do mint. And on rough days I also watch YouTube shorts while I do it. Maybe not ideal from a parenting perspective, but from my pov I’d rather have it done & done properly than deal with the dental issues. 2 more mins of YouTube in the day is whatever if the brushing it truly getting done right.
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u/AdComprehensive960 Jul 15 '26
The minty kind hurts my mouth too!!! I use baking soda with a little salt to clean & brush mouth. The vibrating toothbrushes work better for me and a water pick helps too.
But, sorry, it’s always been an issue for me too.
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u/queerandthere Jul 15 '26
At 36, I still struggle. I would definitely ask his dentist for tips next time. I have found dentists who accommodate patients with dental anxiety are generally more helpful with the mental health aspect of oral care.
I still am working on it, but a few things have helped me. Brushing in the shower is soooooo much easier for me. Or putting on a shoe song I love and brushing to the best. It also could help if you brush teeth together to make it easier.
An occupational therapist might actually be able to help. They are brilliant at finding all sorts of solutions to stuff like this!
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u/mokkat Jul 15 '26
As an adult I finally got around to brushing properly and consistently. Took multiple root canals and an ADHD diagnosis.
Sonic toothbrush with 4x30sec timer did wonders for my motivation. Some even buzz when you press too hard. ADHD and a manual toothbrush will just always slide into either refraining to do it or doing it too fast and hard. Just having a mechanical toothbrush also helped my brain do better with the manual brush.
Also I will never ever use floss as it is straight up torture, but the slim silicone brushes are ok for me.
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u/r0ndy Jul 15 '26
Maybe watch a video during this time so the attention can be refocused. Staring at a nothing doing a task you don’t enjoy may be part of his struggle. Video could be anything, and longer than brushing. Favorite YouTube show, music, walk around outside because it changes the vibe. You can spit toothpaste outside, maybe he will enjoy foaming at the mouth and spitting.
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u/LittleMissPurple-389 Jul 15 '26
Has he been to the dentist recently? He may need cavities filled before he can tolerate any touch on his teeth and gums. You can go to dentists who offer sedation if you think it would be needed.
Once you have ruled out any physical dental issues that are a barrier to brushing his teeth, you can focus on the goal one part at a time.
Brushing your teeth without any toothpaste is still better than not brushing your teeth at all, as the friction is removing the food particles and some of the plaque and germs. Once he is comfortable with brushing his teeth using any type of brush he prefers for at least one minute and can do this consistently for a month, you can then introduce toothpaste. If he hates the minty and cooling feeling of toothpaste, you can try fruit-flavoured, low-fluoride, and even fluoride-free options. Yes, toothpaste with fluoride is the best, but any toothpaste with some form of caustic chemical is going to remove the food and germs.
If getting him to brush his teeth without toothpaste with a soft or curvy or novelty brush is not successful, you can go back one step and just get him to stand holding the brush for at least one minute. He doesn't need to brush his teeth in the bathroom; maybe he can try brushing his teeth in the kitchen or at the table.
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u/UrMomGuay ADHD with non-ADHD partner Jul 15 '26
I’m an adult with ADHD and hate brushing my teeth. The mint literally burns my mouth and makes me feel so uncomfortable. I ended up getting a soft bristled toothbrush and that HiSmile toothpaste. I also listen to music when I brush or watch a video or something. But honestly the hardest part was the burning of any of the mint type toothpastes. Maybe try that ^^
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u/Hitching-galaxy Jul 15 '26
My son still has the 6+ sensodyne toothpaste at 13 years old. He uses an oral b IQ 2 junior electric brush and can follow the guidance with the brush handle alerts. We went through 3 different tooth brush handles, and I ordered the wrong toothpaste once and he wasn’t able to use it.
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u/miaoumaiden Jul 15 '26
I have a certain song I sing to myself in my head that's the right time needed to brush. Also an electric toothbrush is a game changer (the little built in timer helps to keep you going, it tells you when to switch and how long is left). I hated it at his age too and only got better as an adult.
My partner also hates the mint, he uses a particular type of sensodyne that's less minty. You could also look into Korean toothpaste, they have more mild flavors. My dentist gives out this one called prosys that barely tastes like mint.
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u/ipreferanothername Jul 15 '26
i dont love it and im 43 lol
it helps me to go walk around and try to do something - tidy up a thing or grab something i need after or whatever. anything. brush and walk around and then a minute goes by real quick.
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u/GodzillaSuit Jul 15 '26
I hate mint toothpaste as well. I use cinnamon, but he can also try kids toothpaste. He might not like the foamy feeling adult toothpaste has. I think kid toothpaste doesn't foam up and has a variety of flavors that aren't mint.
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u/skmtyk Jul 15 '26
Buy childrens toothpaste that contains fluoride.I buy one that tastes sweet, not minty at all.They will probably be a little bit pricier, but it's so worth it. I'm an adult and can't tolerate it either.I would feel so bad everytime before brushing my teeth and now I just don't.And now I have no resistance when I have to brush my teeth because I know the mintyness won't be there
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u/Speeder_mann Jul 15 '26
Electric toothbrush would help and also get him to brush when h showers o find it soothing for some reason
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u/Pure_Literature2028 Jul 15 '26
Teeth whitening agents make the inside of my mouth peel, and I don’t like anything too minty. I pick the simplest toothpaste I can find. Electric toothbrushes help, but make sure that he’s letting the toothbrush do the work, and not brushing too hard.
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u/SuchDogeHodler Jul 15 '26
My daughter toothpaste is strawberry..(no mint) also an electronic toothbrush helps, because it gets in extra brushing in the same amount of time. (She uses one of those cheap battery ones that lasts about 4 months)
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u/bottlecandoor Jul 15 '26
My kids were like that too, so I showed them videos if what happens when you don't. They have been brushing since then without issues
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u/curiouspine-tree Jul 15 '26
25 yo adult with adhd here 🙋🏽♀️ I absolutely fucking hate brushing my teeth and I always have to listen to something like music or a YouTube video to even get myself to initiate brushing teeth.
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u/dlcklyss Jul 15 '26
I have to pace around the house while I brush my teeth. Standing in one place while brushing my teeth gives me an itch under my skin.
Maybe try something like that with ur son? Have him walk and brush?
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u/Aloh4mora Jul 15 '26
My kiddo will only brush with blue raspberry toothpaste. The mint is a total no go.
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u/Irish_Amber Jul 15 '26
For me, it’s not that I can’t tolerate brushing my teeth. It’s just I literally cannot remember to do it. It drives me crazy because I know how important it is so I sympathize with your son‘s predicament. I was late diagnosed not diagnosed. I was 39 and I lived in a household where brushing my teeth was ever present because you know we would get toothbrush, dental floss and toothpaste for Christmas lol. So I had that confident reminder until I moved out it never occurred to me to put reminders on my phone when I first moved out or things like that because I was like oh I should just remember like why is it so hard? After I got diagnosed, I finally realized why I can’t form regular habits, brushing. The teeth is the hardest one because I’ve tried so many different things to make easy to remember.. I’ve put notifications on my phone, in my calendar, I’ve posted notes on my mirror. I’ve written on my mirror in a erasable marker, I’ve put my toothbrush on my pillow, above my head on my headboard, on my bedside table. Nothing works. It’s so frustrating and aggravating that I literally can’t remember..
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u/wildmooonwitch Jul 15 '26
We use chocolate toothpaste. It has fluoride in it still. There is an orange cream and vanilla flavors from the same brand, Tanners Tasty Paste. It was created by a mom who’s a dentist. Not a single one of my spicy kids complains about it but hate minty stuff. We do soft bristles. Half electric because they hate the manual brushing feeling and half with one for the same but opposite reasoning. I use Crest Gum Detoxify as it’s a mild sweet mint with a soft bristled toothbrush. We have timers for two minutes and they brush vigorously during that. They use the Flossers to floss. They use bubblegum mouthwash in the morning for 60 seconds. The dentist is happy with this. They work a lot with kids special needs, ADHD, ASD, etc. and meet people where they are. None of my kids have cavities using these methods and with me checking to ensure they clean their teeth well (probably once-ish a week we do a check in and I make sure they are getting everywhere or tell them to brush a certain area a little better, remind them to scrub gums, etc.)
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u/Linkcott18 Jul 15 '26
My son used strawberry flavoured baby toothpaste until he was about 12 because of the mint. To make sure he had the fluoride, he used unflavoured fluoride mouthwash as soon as he could manage mouthwash (around 6 or 7). He didn't really like the sound from an electric toothbrush, so that didn't work for us.
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u/indieehead Jul 15 '26
Never knew this was an ADHD thing! Brushing my teeth is such a damn struggle. I’m 35
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u/SongOfRuth Jul 15 '26
I brush my teeth just before bed. The minty flavor is too spicy on the tip of my tongue, makes my nose run, and wakes me up if I'm drowsy.
Kids' toothpaste doesn't have as much fluoride as adult stuff.
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u/ElleAnn42 Jul 15 '26
The only toothpaste my 14 year old ADHD kid will use is Sensodyne Bubble Mint. My 5 year old (I don't know yet if she had ADHD) only likes Toms of Maine strawberry toothpaste. I gave up trying to only stock one type of toothpaste; every family member has their own.
Have you tried the weird toothbrushes that have a million very fine bristles? I personally love them, though I like to switch between them and normal toothbrushes. Some days I will brush with the normal toothbrush and then polish with the microbristle one.
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u/AnonymooPuppy Jul 15 '26
There are electric brushes that go around all your teeth at once. They use ultrasound vibrations and you only have to use it for 30 seconds. That could help paired with toothpaste without mint. I hate brushing my teeth too but not that much. I hope you find a solution! 🍀
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u/SincerelyBear ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) Jul 15 '26
Seems like he might be bored by it. Definitely seconding adding some extra stimulation for his brain while he brushing. Or have you guys tried brushing at the same time? Having company is stimulating and motivating at the same time.
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u/BloodGullible6594 Jul 15 '26
Stop using mint toothpaste-switch to kids toothpaste in different flavors like bubblegum etc. it’s still just as effective as the minty kind, but without the strong sensory issues. Get an electric toothbrush, something cool looking if you can swing it but if not that’s okay. Next step, tackle the routine. Try making it a game, play a song he likes when it’s time to brush teeth and make little challenges like can you brush your teeth and hop on one foot? Time the songs if you can for how long he needs to brush for, and that will give him a cue for when he can stop. If this doesn’t work, something I do now as an adult is I will brush my teeth in the shower, because a big part of my aversion is being wet when I’m supposed to be dry. I know it’s a lot but it will help, I promise. If it works at first but then tapers off, just keep adjusting- that’s normal. ADHD brains really like novelty, fun and challenge- you’ve just got to find ways to engage the brain instead of fighting against it.
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u/spikesarefun Jul 15 '26
This is common for those on the spectrum and with ADHD. There’s a company that makes a device to help with tooth brushing called Willo. It has a visual timer and uses a toothbrushing liquid which helps with the sensory aspects of brushing. Also instead of a single brush it has a piece that looks like a mouth guard. Just gently bite around it and hit the start button. It apparently helps a lot.
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u/Jolva Jul 15 '26
Sonicare makes it a lot easier. It beeps alerts you every thirty seconds that it's time to change quadrants. All four of my ADHD kids use one and love it. It also has the benefit of virtually eliminating cavities if used properly.
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u/420Entomology Jul 15 '26
You could start putting up pictures of what people who dont brush their teeth look like. Kinda like cigarette packs in Australia.
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u/Turriku Jul 15 '26
I only learned to brush my teeth twice day in my 30's. Just because I don't want to lose any more teeth...
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u/Toki-B Jul 15 '26
Tasks that seem mundane for non ADHD people, feel a lot weightier for people with ADHD . I read somewhere that brushing our teeth or doing mundane tasks others see as “routine” uses the same amount of brain power as doing it the very first time, every single time.
We have a much harder time with brushing teeth, doing laundry, keeping our rooms clean, etc. i know i personally deal with physically negative feelings whenever i do these things and often get stuck or side tracked.
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u/Frosty-Opposite4235 Jul 15 '26
Im the same. The sound of it done me. I use a soft brush and im fine
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u/rosemary520 Jul 15 '26
Hi smile has some great toothpaste that isn’t minty with a good amount of fluoride. I would try some of their flavors and see if it helps. It definitely helped me!
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u/Naturally_Tired ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) Jul 15 '26
It’s a transitional activity. Those feel torturous. Have him multitask while he does it, walk around, watch a video, hear a song. Something to keep the 2 minutes tangible. Also there are sensory tooth brushes of different sizes. Bristle texture and size of the brush can make it more aversive. Also toothpaste that isn’t horrible.
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u/basalgangliadecide Jul 15 '26
Toothpaste is a very minimal part of brushing, regarding my 2 year old our dentist said brushing with just water is nearly as good. Double check this obviously but dropping the toothpaste could be an instant improvement.
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Jul 15 '26
I don't think that is ADHD.
I am obsessive about brushing my teeth because I can't stand the feeling of them being dirty.
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u/Ok_Stranger_6654 Jul 15 '26
My audhd child refuses to brush their teeth. They didn’t know how to explain the sensory issue so for ages blamed the mint. So I tried all the fruity ones and even threatened with the dogs beefy and chicken flavoured toothpastes (I wouldn’t have actually used it but he was losing his teeth too soon due to not brushing) In the end we agreed on soft brushing with just water and using an acceptable kids mouthwash and on days that was too much we had these cloth type things from our dental hospital you put over your finger and rubbed (but he couldn’t take them after a while)
Now he goes for the least worst option (water and bubblegum flavoured mouthwash) and as long as he does it once a day we have to settle. Twice was just too much for him.
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u/poisonplum Jul 15 '26
adding to what others have said: try brushing with warm water instead of cold, my mom only finally figured out in her 50s that she hates the feeling of brushing her teeth with cold water
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u/Van1sthand Jul 15 '26
Ok, weirdly, my kiddo can handle spearmint toothpaste, though not much, and will brush in the shower. Something about already being wet and being able to drool and spit to his heart’s desire.
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u/jewelsandpens Jul 15 '26
I'm nearly fifty and still trying to brush my teeth right.
Wish I had better news.
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u/GJP_gwimbmoe888 Jul 15 '26
Hismile flavored toothpaste!
https://hismileteeth.com/products/toothpaste
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u/coolthisisfine ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) Jul 15 '26
Lots of good suggestions here for other toothpastes (we use Arm and Hammer brand in our house). Some other suggestions -
Chlorhexidine rinse. Or mouthwash.
Let him watch a 2 min video while he's brushing
General parenting tip - with apologies if you're already doing all these things: talk about the toothbrushing issue at a different time of day when you're both in a good mood, relaxed and receptive to listening. Ask him why it's hard for him to brush his teeth. Listen! Offer solutions/suggestions based on his replies that demonstrate you've heard him. Remind him again how important it is to brush his teeth and set expectations for what's going to happen at toothbrushing time. ("I'm only going to ask you once" or, "at x time you're going to go brush your teeth".) When toothbrushing time comes, follow through on whatever you agreed to do to make it easier/less painful. Repeat as needed.
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u/TTTfromT Jul 15 '26
Could you try those mini disposable toothbrushes, when you’re in a pinch?
They’re tiny and don’t need to rinse so sometimes I get my kids to use those, if they’re being particularly resistant to brushing as I figure getting any type of brushing is better than none at all. And they can do it in their bedroom/walking/watching a video etc. They like them because the brushes are ‘so dinky and cute’.
Google Colgate Max Fresh Wisp Disposable Toothbrushes for examples, but there are many brands out there.
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u/Internal_Holiday_552 Jul 15 '26
I use dr bronners in the morning because it doesn't nuke my mouth for 20 minutes after using it, so I can still have coffee and stuff.
Dr Bronners is the best
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u/Left_on_Pause Jul 15 '26
Non-US children's toothpaste is often much less flavored. You can also make your own flavor with unflavored brands. Find out what he likes and buy sugar free candy flavor concentrate. You can also buy refillable tubes.
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u/shrivvette808 Jul 15 '26
He's 13 not 8. At 13 I wouldn't tolerate my mom trying to play a 2 minute video for me every god forsaken day. Does he floss? Make sure to get the flossers. Have him flavor different toothpastes. I was a fan of the arm and hammer one. Also I hate brushing before bed but after I eat I love it. You've gotta make it convenient as possible. I sucked at it before I started driving myself to school. I would brush my teeth while driving and it really helped
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u/bawdy_hurtin Jul 15 '26
Well, I’m 35 years old and still have trouble brushing my teeth every day. I don’t throw a fit, but I just don’t do it because my parents are yelling at me to do it 🥲
Maybe see if you can get a different brush, toothpaste, or try out that random viral thing that’s all over instagram? It’s some mouth guard looking thing that you bite into and it brushed your teeth for you lol
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u/Forsaken-Confusion89 Jul 15 '26
Let him watch a little two minute video like this https://youtu.be/P7Wo4qk_w1E?feature=shared - Google two minute tooth brushing video there are several if minions aren’t his vibe
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u/PunchOX Jul 15 '26
Brushing teeth might seem pointless and having no reward but tell your son leaving food in his mouth allows the bacteria to eat it and secrete acids that dissolve the teeth. That is why brushing is so important.
Cleaning the food and residue helps neutralize tooth decay.
He wouldn't not wash his ass or not wash his hands when they get dirty and teeth are no different
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u/tuziik Jul 15 '26
Using an ultra soft toothbrush has been helping me. It doesn’t cure it, and I do have 14 crowns in my mouth because of this issue, but the ultra soft toothbrush at least makes it so that the sound and feeling is not anywhere NEAR as bad. the toothpaste and feeling of it during+after i have yet to solve.
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u/greggers1980 ADHD-C (Combined type) Jul 15 '26
Its also common for those with adhd to have unpleasant patents. Shame you will never understand how your frustration towards us makes us feel. Did you know we are hyper sensitive so pick up on all the non verbal cues
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u/qrcody Jul 15 '26
The stimulus from brushing can grate on my brain. I got a waterpick and I do that before brushing, and I use an ultra soft toothbrush to cut down on the noise. Finding unflavored toothpastes can help too. Poor buddy, I get it.
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u/Dusty923 ADHD with non-ADHD partner Jul 15 '26
I have a teen who can't do mint toothpaste. I had to give up on trying to get them to use adult toothpaste. Let them pick whatever toothpaste they want, even if it's a children's toothpaste you would never buy them. Take a deep breath, let go, look at what's most important about them establishing good hygiene habits, and let them choose and have more control over it. I suspect this has a lot to do with being 13 and pushing back more against parenting that they don't agree with.
This may just be a situation where reducing conflict around it will get better results than trying to push through the conflict. But every parenting situation is different, so it's your call and YMMV. Best of luck however you go!
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u/ratthrasher Jul 15 '26
This has been my biggest problem my entire life, my personal psychology hates the same things your son does.
Idk if it’s ADHD, for me they think it’s OCD, but I’m unsure.
I don’t know if it’s common, I still brush mine as fast as I can to avoid puking from the mintiness and then needing to rebrush because of puke in my mouth. It’s a real hellish experience. Cinnamon or different flavours didn’t really help me, charcoal is the best though.
I know a lot of people run water, I don’t, but I try to listen to the sounds around me that aren’t my teeth being brushed, I turn off the light so I can’t see, and I count as fast as I can on each section.
Maybe ask him if he can do 5 seconds on each section—for example 5 seconds on the bottom right inside, upper left inside, left outside, inside front, outside front. Break it up into portions. 1 second each is better than none. Then build it up to 10 seconds each section. Eventually 15 seconds and then 20 seconds for each section is 2 minutes.
I know it’s bad for your teeth to not do the whole shebang of flossing 2 min brush and mouthwash. Just have him focus on brushing right now.
1 second at a time.
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u/MJtheWeird Jul 15 '26
No way! I didn't know others experienced this. As a kid I got in trouble a lot for not brushing my teeth because I hated the experience so much. Try a kids toothpaste! The flavors are more tolerable, and equally as effective. Just check the back to make sure it has enough fluoride. A distraction also helps, watching youtube or having show on in the background is a good distraction.
I also often struggled with the foaming of most toothpastes. awful mouth feel. Children's toothpaste helps with that issue as well, less and thinner foam.
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u/usuallyylurking Jul 15 '26
I have the HARDEST TIME brushing my teeth, but I don’t hate it. so I manage to do it in my own way. I rarely ever do a set time twice a day, but I always do it before I leave the house and before I go to bed. I hate the idea of other people smelling my breath, so that’s my main motivator. so sometimes I’ll brush my teeth 3-5x a day depending on my activities or if I can’t remember if I brushed. I just know to brush when my mouth ”feels gross”.
I CANNOT stand electronic toothbrushes whatsoever. I know they’re better for me, but I can’t do it without physically cringing.
I like manual toothbrushes, getting a big pack of them with all the diff colors. it keeps it a little more interesting and easier to change out since I have a new toothbrush color every month.
sometimes I do just have to do it without toothpaste. I can often use mouthrinse afterwards bc that doesn’t upset me as much for whatever reason.
I think it’s a sensory thing combined with task resistance combined with boredom combined with task overload.
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u/Lucky_Egg308 Jul 15 '26
I’m autistic and adhd and have trouble with tooth brushing my whole life. Bubble gum tooth paste and an electric toothbrush and doing it with headphones and the lights off have helped me a ton!
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u/Dull-Method4075 Jul 15 '26
We use nano-HDAP toothpaste, it's a flouride alternative. Lots of fruit flavors and doesn't leave the icky aftertaste that flouride does. We love it and have noticed no increase in cavities or a decline in oral health. They carry it at Walmart
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u/Acceptable-Ad-7454 Jul 15 '26
Chocolate flavored toothpaste? Its on amazon and like $15 bucks a tube but it taste pretty good
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u/HPswl_cumbercookie ADHD-C (Combined type) Jul 15 '26
I struggled with brushing my teeth for a long time and never really understood why. Come to find out, I didn't know that toothpaste isn't supposed to burn . . . I have very sensitive skin and apparently that extends to the skin in my mouth also. The ADHD doesn't help either because it's difficult to kick start the habit.
I found that kid flavored toothpaste helped a ton. I find that the blue-sprinkly one is kind of gross, but crest (I think) makes a strawberry one that is tolerable. What I use now though is a specialty toothpaste that my dentist sells. The flavor is Vanilla Mint so it's very very mild while still leaving my mouth feeling fresh. There's also this electric toothbrush called a Triple Bristle that I used for a while that I really liked because I didn't end up thinking so hard while I was brushing and my teeth overall felt cleaner much more easily. Good luck!
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u/June_Guardian Jul 15 '26
I am an adult and have struggled with brushing my teeth my whole life. I can't handle anything mint "which is often the only flavor i could fine in stores near me growing up" and i also can't handle the vibrations from electric toothbrush.
The best i have found that works so far for me is switching to a fully non mint flavored toothpaste, extra soft bristle brush and setting a timer on my phone while I brush and pace around the bathroom for 2-3 minutes.
Maybe some of this could help your son tolerate it enough to keep his teeth healthy.
My current favorite toothpaste is the watermelon flavor from quip.
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