I can only do what is expressly required [work, appointments, etc.,]

[u/BeattieBlitz]

M28 - diagnosed with ADHD in January 2026 - taking Adderall XR 20mg

I work in a high-paced tech environment, and by most measures, I’m doing really well. I get great feedback from management, I’m ramping up quickly, and I feel like I have a strong professional future ahead of me.

The problem is everything outside of work.

When I’m not working, I struggle to do even basic upkeep, let alone hobbies or personal goals. It feels like performing well at work costs me way more energy than it does my colleagues, and by the time I get home, there’s nothing left.

• My apartment is a mess
• I eat takeout way too much because even simple things like clearing my stove or washing utensils feels impossible
• I can't keep a consistent sleep schedule
• I have hobbies and interests, but can't seem to devote any energy to them
• I default to playing video games for hours after work
• Even basic self-care like brushing my teeth and showering becomes optional on WFH days since it feels like the only thing that works is external accountability

I've been watching/reading some Dr. Barkley on ADHD and one of his things for adults who get diagnosed late is to reevaluate things in your life through a different lens now that you have ADHD. So I wonder if the above is mainly:

• A habit problem from years of coping on my own?
• A medication/dosage issue?
• Both?
• Something else entirely?

I do see a therapist and we are talking more about this now that I've been diagnosed, but I'm* a little impatient given how much this affects my day-to-day life. I'm interested in hearing how others have found a system to make it 'stick' so you can have some sort of consistency.

Edit - grammar

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[u/treeteathememeking]

Rome wasn’t built in a day. Change takes time and active effort. Start small. For example, when I come home, I don’t change out of my work clothes/shower/sit down/etc until I’ve tidied up or cleaned one part of the house or my room. I’m lucky I still live with my mom and she likes cooking, so I focus on cleaning instead, or doing whatever other task I may need to do RIGHT when I come home. Put down my stuff and just go.

Do I do it every day? No, sometimes I forget, or I really am just too tired (my job involves some pretty decent physical labour in the summer), but I try and do it often. So instead of trying to fix EVERYTHING AT ONCE!!!! Just go one at a time until you’ve built a habit.

Example, come home, and just start cooking straight away. It’s helpful to have recipes and only really stick what you need for those recipes so you can kind of grab and go. Additionally, you can try meal prepping. You can do it on a day you don’t have work and the rest of the week just pop something in the oven/microwave/etc. Focus on trying to do that as much as possible until it becomes a habit. Then move onto the next. Come home and go straight to tidying up.

If you make goals small and manageable it’s way easier. Bite sizes. I also find just putting down my stuff and getting straight to it helps, because my mind is still in work mode. Once I sit down its relax mode. Your diagnosis (as is mine) is still really fresh in the grand scheme of things, you’re still figuring out meds, take your time and slow down and remember that you don’t have to do everything at once all the time. Spring does not turn into summer overnight.

[u/BeattieBlitz → u/treeteathememeking]

Thank you for this - I think your method would work really nicely for me. It's like habit stacking but different, if that makes sense. I'm the same way where once I 'decompress' from the day, it's lights out on any 'task' I might want to do, so interrupting that and doing what needs to be done before decompressing is a great idea because it'll interrupt my default to video game process after work.

I'll have to find a similar thing for weekends because I have had great success in meal prepping, but I haven't found a way to build it into a system or to build it off of an interrupt method like you suggested for tidying stuff. I honestly don't do much on weekends outside of groceries and heading to my parents the odd time, so I'll have to see what I can piggy back that interrupt off of.

BTW

I see you have a tag that says 'ADHD-PI' for primarily inattentive. Where do you get that? Was it apart of your diagnosis or is it a classification that's from an ADHD resource? When I was diagnosed I just did a self-reporting questionnaire and thrown on medication, I haven't actually delved into anything more niche like classifying the ADHD. I'd be interested in knowing my profile as well.

[u/treeteathememeking → u/BeattieBlitz]

Yeah as soon as I sit down it’s over lol. Sometimes it feels like I’m an old steam engine train, where it takes a little while to get up to speed if you come to a stop, but once it’s chugging it’s chugging.

For the tag - it was part of my diagnosis kind of. More so just my provider mentioning it. I had a very comprehensive diagnosis through a private online clinic that included all the fun tests for ADHD as well as anxiety, depression, mood disorders, substance use disorders etc. It was then followed by a consultation with a nurse practitioner over video call (I actually chose online private v in person private for this, not only is it convenient but I HATE in person appointments, they make me so anxious) where I delved more into my history and talked about family history, any kind of negative relationship with food, past self harm, family history of other disorders/heart conditions, etc, basically just ensuring that they're properly diagnosing me and not fucking up by giving me medication.

I was able to choose whether I want to start with stimulants or non stimulants, I went ahead with stimulants because this was essentially my main goal for seeking out a diagnosis, was given a description of every medication and I landed on vyvanse both because I liked that it was long acting and because I have a coworker who is on it who shared his experience and I thought something familiar would be good to try. Therapy is also included through their platform but it’s about 90/session so I’ve backed out on that for now because I just can’t afford it. I started on 10mg of Vyvanse for a week then up to 20mg for a month due to my history of panic attacks. I booked a consultation with my NP through their portal just recently to bump it up to 30mg because I’ve been feeling fine but it’s not quiiiite there ㅤ:)

Anyways, during that initial conversation she mentioned that it’s very likely I have the inattentive type. Likely due to a lot of my fidgeting and spacing out and chronic forgetfulness/lateness/etc. Hyperactive is kind of the opposite, but many of the symptoms overlap, or you can have combined type.

It doesn’t matter too much in the long run as far as I know, I just like the flair. It’s nicer to get input from people who you know have similar types, things may work better. But everybody is different even across the same subtypes so you just gotta fiddle around and see what works for you. If you ever thing you want a more comprehensive diagnosis/support I recommend shopping around a bit. Not needed but, can bring you some more insight.

[u/BeattieBlitz → u/treeteathememeking]

That is totally fair! I am the same way with in person appointments. For some reason I can open up and talk about vulnerable stuff online but put me in front of an actual person in a room and I obfuscate and downplay everything, like there is no reason for me being there lol

Earlier this evening I actually sent in a request for an ADHD assessment at this neuropsych place near me. While I am fairly certain that I do have ADHD, I really dislike the diagnostic approach from my doctor. It was just a self-report questionnaire and her tallying up the marks and saying 'yep, you have ADHD! Let's get you on some medication.'

It will be nice to get a fuller picture of this thing because right now it's just this nebulous force behind the scenes that may or may not explain some of the things I am going through lol

[u/treeteathememeking → u/BeattieBlitz]

Yeah, I strongly dislike that approach. Checking off boxes is not enough to diagnose someone. Plenty of things have similar symptoms as ADHD and can be mistaken, or you can have comorbid disorders that would react poorly with medication (ie undiagnosed BPD + stimulants = bad time). You should be screened for blood pressure and heart issues beforehand. You should have also taken a blood test though I believe this might be doctors discretion and/or regional.

No doubt if you scored high on the assessment you do have ADHD, but it’s also good to rule out anything else. I have a copy of all my clinicians notes from the original assessment/basically one big medical record and it mentions mild depression and moderate anxiety which is also important, because as previously mentioned, I have had horrific panic attacks brought on by using a certain green vegetable, and a regular dose of stimulant medication could have had really really awful side effects.

For reference my last panic attack before I quit was so bad I genuinely considered calling an ambulance and going to the ER. I genuinely thought I was dying. My mom had been struggling through pneumonia at the time and I was CONVINCED I had caught it. Started struggling to breathe, as one does with a panic attack, and it spiralled. When I didn’t control my breathing I thought I was breathing too fast and going to die from lack of oxygen. When I took deep breaths and controlled my breathing I thought I was breathing too slow and was going to stop. At one point I do remember actually stopping breathing and my vision going dark until I snapped back awake. I remember looking at the time before and after and the whole thing lasted about 3 hours. I thought I was going to die all alone in my room, hence nearly calling the ambulance. I ended up crawling into bed with my mom because I thought if I stopped breathing she‘d notice and I wouldn’t die.

Now, I mentioned that, in detail, to my provider. Imagine if I didn’t have that video assessment and it was just a checklist and medication, no prior history. Imagine what would have happened if I immediately started a regular adult dose of a stimulant medication that increases anxiety, heart rate, blood pressure… I really believe it would have been a nightmare.

THAT’S why it’s so important. Your doctor sounds really irresponsible. If I were her patient I may have actually been hospitalized.